The Eternals: The New Gods Of The MCU

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A race of space faring beings known as Eternals have been on Earth for thousands of years and now they are finally stepping out into the limelight in order to save the world, naturally.

Major Spoilers Incoming

The trailers for this film did it no favours. Then the critics reviews came in and savaged it for the most part. I went in with incredibly low expectations, however I was pleased to say this might have been one of the best MCU films so far.

To address the main concern up front the action in this film is used sparingly, as in to say there is less here then in other Marvel films, however what is here is used well. The action scenes often carry with them a large amount of tension and stakes that help them to feel more than just the standard mashing of two CGI figures together. A good example of this is the jungle action sequence in which the Deviants have tracked the Eternals down and ambush them this feels incredibly tense.

A lot of people have said that this film has pacing issues, is too long, and is too talking heavy. I disagree with all of those statements. I enjoyed the character focus, it was a nice change from the bang bang nature of most MCU films, the conversations were mostly always incredibly impactful either to establish MCU lore, which this film does beautifully, or to create a connection between us the audience and the characters.

Speaking off, every character here is done well and you become attached to them. Over the course of the film you really do become enamoured with the character drama and are excited to see where it goes. Even bit characters like Kit Harrington’s Dane Whitman aka Black Knight are given moments to shine. Speaking off make sure to stick around until the second post credits scene as there is an incredibly exciting one teasing out the future of Harrington’s character and Blade?

My one complaint of this film would be the Deviants. This complaint is threefold, firstly the Deviants all look the same, bland CGI heavy baddies that feel cut and paste with a deeply uninspired design. Secondly, the film does nothing interesting with them, midway through it plays with the idea of Deviants being a sentient race who are just trying to stay alive, just like the Eternals themselves which creates a nice dichotomy however the film does nothing with it. Thirdly, in the final act of the film they just abruptly kill off their leader and that is the end of the Deviant threat as other characters and beings rise up to become villains of the piece.

Overall, one of the most meaningful and impactful films in the MCU a real gem in its hat, if only the Deviants could have been used better.

Pros.

The characters and performances

The post credits scenes, mainly the final one

The emotions and the powerful dialogue scenes

Using action in a smart way

Breaking the MCU formula

Cons.

The Deviants

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Christmas Inheritance: The Big City Will Turn You Evil

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Highflying CEO to be Ellen, Eliza Taylor, must go and deliver a letter to her uncle in small town America in order to complete her training and take over from her father. Naturally going to this town forces her to see how morally corrupt big city life is and how she has had the wrong priorities all her life.

And so we begin, it is quickly becoming the time of the year where I review Christmas films- the good, the bad and the overly moralistic. This film is somewhere between those latter two, as it preaches the values of ‘real America’, and suggests that modern big city living is evil and causes people to lose touch with their humanity. This is nothing new from these type of Christmas films, and this plot has been recycled over and over again.

The romance here, as they always have to have the big city woman ditch her current boyfriend and find love in the small town, is poorly done. The trope as a whole is not helpful, and here it is particularly unbelievable as the characters have no chemistry so their whirlwind romance feels blatantly fake.

The only reason this film isn’t getting lower is because of Eliza Taylor. Taylor is clearly trying her best to give this role some personality and warmth and that shows, sadly what she is given to work with boxes her in and leaves her with nothing to work with. However, she still manages to be charming.

Overall, yet another samey, questionable Christmas film. Is small town America really this magical, or is this over romanticised in the extreme? Let me know.

Pros.

Eliza Taylor

Cons.

It is the same story you have seen before

The morals

It feels sexist

The central romance doesn’t work

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Meyerowtiz Stories: Adam Sandler Can Act

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This film tells the story of three children, played by Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller and Elizabeth Marvel who are brought back together after the sudden illness of their father played by Dustin Hoffman.

I genuinely do think that when he is trying, and not just trying to goof off with his friends and call it a film, Adam Sandler is a talented dramatic actor. You can see my point here as the film is far more of a character study and drama rather than a comedy film, there are jokes thrown in here and there but for the most part it plays it straight and Sandler excels. Sandler plays the often overlooked and taken for granted son well and you buy his complicated relationship with his dad, you can see the conflict going on within the character. Likewise, I think Ben Stiller also really rises to the dramatic mark here and nails the performance.

I appreciated what this film tried to do in an emotional sense, I thought it was very resonant and that the struggles and situations shown will ring true for a lot of people. I thought the film did justice to the bond between parent and child, showing just how messed up it can be, but that ultimately you can’t change it and can only make peace with it. I found the film to be effecting and it certainly knew how to work my heart strings and make me feel something.

Overall, a strong film proving that Adam Sandler can be a good actor when he wants to be.

Pros.

Nailing the emotion

Sandler

Stiller

Marvel

Cons.

Pacing issues

Hoffman’s father character is a bit one note

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Harder They Fall: Who Is The Quickest Draw?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Wild west outlaw Nat Love, played by Johnathan Majors, rides again to take down the man who killed his parents when he was a child.

I thought this was the most interesting western, both visually and plot wise, that I have seen in a long time. The cinematography is beautiful here, the shot composition is both reflective of classic western tropes whilst also trying to reinvent and do something new with how the western looks. I thought it did a number of very interesting things that worked well in the context of the film and really made me take notice of the cinematography.

Moreover, the film was expertly paced which is a big help for me considering it is on for more than two hours. The film never slowed down to have a dull moment, instead moving along at a healthy pace making the most out of every second it had; honestly I can’t think of a wasted scene.

The performances across the board were great, I would say Idris Elba really stuck out in the latter portion of the film and did a lot of strong facial acting, as well as delivering an incredibly strong emotional twist at the end of the film. However, everyone was strong. The one thing I would draw attention to is that this film did cast Lakeith Stanfield, which I find in bad taste after the whole anti-Semitism thing, though I tried to ignore that whilst watching.

Overall, I thought this was one of the best Netflix original films I have seen in a long time.

Pros.

Strong performances

Well-paced

Engaging and fun

The emotion

Cons.

The ending wrap up feels a bit rushed

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Amazing Spider-Man: Why Do The Police Always Hate Spider-Man?

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

You all know the story by now, Peter Parker, played by Andrew Garfield, gets bitten by a genetically altered spider and becomes Spider-Man, this time facing off against the Lizard, played by Rhys Ifans.

I would say that of all three of the big screen adaptions of Spider-Man these films are probably the ones that the least amount of people like. That is not to say they are bad films, this one certainly isn’t, but really they never could live up to the Tobey McGuire films and that is what killed them.

Many people say that Andrew Garfield is too cool for the awkward nerdy role of Peter Parker, however I think he does fine. I enjoy his outsider/loner persona and think he does a good job of nailing both the heart and the comedy of the character. I thought Garfield’s Spidey had a number of good one liners that land well. Moreover, I think that Peter and Gwen Stacy, played by Emma Stone have terrific chemistry, better even than McGuire and Kristen Dunst did in the previous version of the character. I think Stone really makes the character her own and I would like to see her show up in the MCU through multiverse shenanigans.

It is nice to see this film move away from using the Green Goblin, even though the sequel would, and instead feature a lesser known Spidey baddie in the Lizard for the film’s villain. I thought the effects of the Lizard were quite good, and I enjoyed the fact that the finale had more to it then just a big CGI punchout.

However, that is where the positives end.

This film has a real issue with pacing, I know they were trying to cram a lot in but honestly watching this film in one sitting is oppressive, it doesn’t feel like two hours and a bit instead it feels more like five. I am left asking did we really need to see Uncle Ben’s, played my Martin Sheen, death again so soon after we saw it in the McGuire films? Surely there must have been ways to trim this down.

Overall, a good Spider-Man film but no one’s favourite.

Pros.

Garfield

Stone

The Lizard

The heart

Cons.

Uncle Ben’s death again

Pacing issues

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Army Of Thieves: Once You Have Seen One Heist Film You Have Seen Them All

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ludwig Dieter, played by Matthias Schweighofer, returns in a prequel to Army Of The Dead, in which Dieter finds himself at the centre of a series of international heists revolving around famous safes.

I enjoyed Ludwig Dieter in Army Of The Dead, but this film felt excessive. I don’t know why you go from having it be a heist story in a zombie apocalypse, to suddenly just a heist film. I thought the whole point of this universe was the fact that it featured a zombie outbreak? Yet this film almost goes out of its way to hide it, only showing us brief scenes on news broadcasts, and telling us about it in throwaway dialogue.

By doing this and having it just be a heist movie the film cripples itself. This film feels indistinguishable from any other heist film, was that the point? Though we have the same character from the other film back, it couldn’t feel further apart. Rather than manic zombie action we get the same set of generic heist characters we have seen hundreds of times before, with the same backstories. We see the same twists and turns, and the same ending as well, there is nothing new here. You will only find this film original if you have never seen a heist film before.

The only reason this film is not getting lower is because there are still a few good laughs to be had here, Schweighofer is still funny. Moreover, Nathalie Emmanuel has a great presence on-screen and she really brings something to this film. I liked the romance between Ludwig and Emmanuel’s Gwendoline over the course of the film as I found it to be genuinely effecting.

Overall, a needless follow up made better by Emmanuel.

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a few funny moments

Emmanuel is on strong form

Cons.

We have seen it all before

It does nothing with the zombies

The ending feels far too tided into the first film

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Lamb: Don’t Think About The Origins

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A farming couple in Iceland are blessed or cursed when one of their lambs gives birth to a human/sheep hybrid that they take in, in place of their dead child.

This film is being mismarketed. Everything you have seen saying this film is a horror film is a lie, even with the creature antagonist, which turns out to be another hybrid sheep person, it is still not a horror film. A more apt genre assignment would be an off kilter drama, or perhaps something within the science fiction genre?

That aside I thought this film had major pacing issues. It feels double the run time and doesn’t use any of that time to do anything of note. Instead of giving us answers to any of the film’s various mysteries it instead just gives us yet another artsy shot of the landscape. Art house horror isn’t for everyone and yes often it can feel pretentious which I believe is the case here. The film only actually has about half an hour worth of plot, yet they stretch that out and out.

Noomi Rapace is perhaps the only silver lining of this film and her performance is strong. You believe the motherly relationship her character has with the sheep-child, and she is the only character you end the film caring about.

Overall, if people knew what this film is actually about rather than what the marketing is saying few would watch it and for good reason.

Pros.

Noomi Rapace

The ending

Cons.

It is not a horror film

It is stretched out and dull at times

It feels pretentious

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Chucky: Just Let Go

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, is finally exposed as Jake, played by Zachary Arthur, and his friends finally decide to put a stop to the evil doll.

It is a shame that the series didn’t go down the Chucky’s apprentice route it would have made things more interesting, instead we get the fairly standard all of the characters teaming up to stop the killer, with Jake staying firmly on the light side. However that is not to say this was a bad episode, in fact I actually quite enjoyed seeing Jake and Lexi, played by Alyvia Alyn Lind, team up, I thought it was an interesting way to take their characters and having them both be honest with each other was a masterstroke. I thought the scene in which Jake is saying how he wished her dead because she is a bad person and she is actively scared of him was powerful.

I also enjoyed the continued backstory of Chucky. I like how each episode is giving us more and more of his early years thereby expanding out the Child’s Play world and building on the character.

One thing that I didn’t like was Detective Evan’s, played by Rachelle Casseus, interrogation of Jake. She has no evidence, he is a minor and she tries to force him into confessing, yet we are still supposed to like and root for her character, as she is doing it with good intentions? No, I find her and her moral outrage to be quite infuriating, with her character often just getting in the way of the story.

Overall, a good episode if one that felt a little safe.

Pros.

The team up

The ending

Chucky’s backstory

The needle kill

Cons.

It felt too safe

The integration scene

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Billy Madison: Why Has No One Cancelled This Yet?

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A spoilt rich kid, played by Adam Sandler, must return to school despite being an adult.

I understand that to some this film is a comedy classic, I don’t see how that can be. I think this film highlights Sandler at his exploitative worst, early Sandler fare like this and The Waterboy want us to laugh at how dumb and stupid the central character is: which is cheap but done. However, where these films are particularly bad is Billy and Bobby, in The Waterboy, are almost certainly mentally handicap so the joke is no longer laughing at these characters because they are dumb but instead because they are disabled and that is sickening. We can also see this trend continue into later Sandler fare such as Sandy Wexler and Hubie Halloween.

Moreover, Sandler is at his most obnoxious here as well. There is no way in hell you will like the central character by the end of the film, whether it is the smug grin he constantly spouts, his dumb jokes or the voice Sandler does for the character. It is all grating.

Additionally, the romance between Sandler’s character and the teacher is problematic on a number of levels and feels to me like it is trying to play off the harmful fantasy of sleeping with the teacher, which is messed up for all kinds of reasons.

The humour of this film is just as grating as the rest of it, there is not one single funny line here and I know comedy is subjective, but unless you find disability and icky situations funny, you won’t be laughing much here. This film should be left in the rejects pile of the early noughties to die.

Overall, simply awful.

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It is not funny

It feels exploitative towards those with disabilities

Sandler is incredibly obnoxious

The teacher student romance storyline needs to die

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Await Further Instructions: A Precursor To Lockdown Life

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A strained family spend Christmas together, however the day after they arrive they see themselves quarantined by a strange unknown entity that only communicates with them through the television.

I think part of the genius of this film is that it resembles so closely our own lives over the last few years entirely unintentionally. It adds to the dread and the horror that these ideas of isolating and illness have become our norm. If I were a different person I might be so inclined to say that the makers of this film had some kind of future knowledge as they reference pandemic life, yet I know that is just silly.

I enjoyed this films comments on conformity and believing a narrative without question, I thought it made a number of good points. The juxtaposition between the abusive for queen and country patriarch, played by Grant Masters, and the more free thinking son, played by Sam Gittins, couldn’t be more stark and in that lies the beauty.

My only complaint of the film would be that by the end the film demystifies itself and the answers it gives are unsatisfying. Throughout the film the key questions are what’s going on and who is doing it, then we get the reveal of the TV snake creatures, this in and off itself is not bad but then the film goes out of its way to show why they are doing it and tries to explain their existence, this didn’t work for me as I felt like the ending needed to be more open ended.

Overall, a surprisingly relevant horror film.

Pros

The dread

The unknown aspects of what’s going on

The comments on conformity

The performances

Cons.

The monsters

It loses its sense of mystery

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer