300: A Scottish Greek

300 is a historical action film directed by Zack Snyder, based on the Frank Miller comic series of the same name. The film retells the story of the Spartans last stand at the battle of Thermopylae, when 300 (the real numbers vary), Spartan soldiers held out against an overwhelming horde of Persian invaders: fighting to the last man to give the rest of Greece time to prepare.

This film is epic, I know that a cringey word, but there is no other way to describe it. I remember watching it a lot as a youth and watching it again now I am still in awe of how cool it is. The scope, the scale everything about it is intense.

Say what you like about Zack Snyder, but no one, and I mean no one, does sweaty, slow motion, ultra-violence quite like him, each one of the battle scenes is a sight to behold. The gore, which is in abundance of course, feels well used. It makes a point, but never crosses the line to where it feels gratuitous or done for shock value.

Gerard Butler plays a surprisingly Scottish version of King Leonidas, the legendary Spartan king; clearly he is borrowing from the Sean Connery school of acting. Though I joke, Butler is a man of very specific acting talents and he seems almost crafted for his role. He plays Leonidas with a regal air that is carefully covering a personality of sheer unrelenting brutality.

Overall, this film highlights the best of Butler and Snyder showing off both of their talents, creating a truly engrossing experience.

Pros.

Gerard Butler

Zack Snyder

The scope and feel of it

The battle scenes

It is captivating

Cons.

It is not historically accurate

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hercules: Does James Woods Age Well?

Hercules is an animated film directed by Ron Clements and John Musker. The plot is a retelling of the Greek Myth of Hercules, though it combines a lot of different stories together, so it is not beat for beat. We see a young Hercules (Tate Donovan), be ripped from his parent’s arms and raised as a mortal. After he finds out about his supernatural heritage he sets out to become the biggest hero in the world and regain his place amongst the Gods.

I remember watching this in school as a treat on the final day of term, I remember enjoying it. My how times change.

So I have a laundry list, to borrow the phrase, of problems with this film. Firstly narratively it is a mess. There is two defined acts and then a third one that just feels like a bunch of stuff cobbled together, the result of this is a film that has a sizeable amount of the bloat.

The gospel soundtrack is one of the better aspects about the film, it adds an extra element that is hard to describe and enhances it completely. However, a lot of the normal songs ,(mainly the ones sung by Hercules himself), lack any charm or catchiness, this creates a noticeable dip in the soundtrack. Furthermore, the voice actor for Hercules doesn’t give the role any passion or character, Hercules feels like the blandest most stereotypical hero, in his own film and that is the fatal flaw.

The supporting cast are also a mixed on the one hand you have James Wood and Danny DeVito, both of whom are excellent, on the other hands you have the rest who are again so bland and devoid of personality that they just fade into the background.

Overall, this film showed me that rose-tinted glasses are a real thing, it is very meh and feels both too busy and also empty at the same time, it is perplexing.

Pros.

The gospel soundtrack

Woods and DeVito

Cons.

Hercules is boring and bland

It tries to hard to cover everything

The non-gospel songs are bad

The supporting cast are a very mixed bag

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: Find Yourself An Indian Lover

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a comedy drama film directed by John Madden. The plot follows an eclectic group of pensioners as they go to India to retire. They each go for their own reasons and they each find India touch their lives in one way or another.

This film features almost all of the famous older British faces that audiences would be familiar with, you have Bill Nighy, Judie Dench, Maggie Smith and more; it really is like a who’s who of elderly British talent. It is a very wholesome watch as it feels like you know these people, they’re almost like your grandparents, so it is nice to see them falling in love and having fun.

I found this film to be far better than the other older romance films like Finding Your Feet, that would follow it, in many ways these sort of films are a genre all their own and maybe one day I will write about it in more detail. With that said you can imagine what the story is like, it is all fairly predicatable.

My issue with this film is the pacing. There were parts of it I really enjoyed, I thought they were snappy and done well, however, there were also bits that dragged; to an almost painfully extent. These issues are not just in one part of the film that I can point to, they’re throughout. It could greatly benefit from a tighter edit.

Overall, a very safe comforting film that is boosted with standout performances from Dev Patel, Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy, if it had been condensed down a bit more it could have been something special.

Pros.

The performances

Comforting to watch

Very wholesome

Cons.

Predictable

Parts of it badly drag on.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Magicians: Peep Show, But With Magic

Magicians is a comedy film directed by Andrew O’ Connor. The plot sees a pair of former magicians who used to be partners face off against each other in a magic competition in a chance to return to the big time.

So, I bought this because it claimed to have some involvement of one of the Peep Show writers and because Peep Show is such a terrific series, one of the best ever made, I picked it up. Was I disappointed? Yes and no, it is by no means as good or as funny as Peep Show, but at the same time the Mitchell, Webb dynamic is as strong as ever and it is very watchable.

To follow up, the reason why this film is elevated beyond mediocrity for me is the back and forth begrudging friendship between Harry (David Mitchell) and Karl (Robert Webb). Mitchell and Web are one of the best comedy double acts in the history of comedy and that is proven clearly here, though they receive some ample support from some other funny people.

The humour for me was on the weaker side, some jokes worked some didn’t. Comedy is subjective of course, but I found myself smiling more than laughing with this film which doesn’t mean its bad, but it also doesn’t mean it’s good. Disappointing.

Pros.

Mitchell and Webb

The supporting cast

It is very watchable

Cons.

Disappointing for long-time fans

The humour is hit and miss

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Action Point: See A Doctor Johnny, We Are Worried

Action Point is a comedy film directed by Tim Kirby. We follow retired fairground owner D.C (Johnny Knoxville), as he is looking after his granddaughter for the afternoon, whilst doing so he is telling her the tale of the theme park he used to own, the titular Action Point.

Good on Knoxville for still being able to get roles post Jackass, but at this point he needs to stop. He is basically just playing a toned-down version of the same character in all of these lame comedy films that make Adam Sandler’s weaker efforts look like comedy masterpieces.

There is only so many times you can watch someone get hurt, in varied and different ways, before it starts to get stale and boy does it get stale in this film. Outside of the very basic slapstick comedy, there is nothing else here, no other forms of comedy, no heart, just a man who is a bit too old hurting himself to make us all laugh; it is kind of tragic.

Even turning my brain off and trying to enjoy this film purely as dumb fun I struggle. It is so repetitive and unfunny that it quickly becomes boring. That is crucially the thing that dooms this film.

Overall, stale and dull and a relic of a bygone age.

Pros.

Knoxville is trying his best and still has some charm

Cons.

It is repetitive

It is unfunny

I don’t want to watch Knoxville get hurt anymore

There is no real plot and the characters are paper thin, and that is being kind

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Tax Collector: One To Clutch Your Pearls At

The Tax Collector is an action thriller film directed by David Ayer. The plot follows local crime duo David (Bobby Soto), and Creeper (Shia LaBeouf), who collect money from all the little gangs and pass it on to those higher up. One day a rival from the past arrives and threatens the duos way of life, rather than surrender they go to war.

This film is painfully unpleasant, to the point where I actually almost turned it off several times; watching it depressed me too much. I am no stranger to gore, being a big horror fan, but I don’t need to see a man getting nails hammered into his legs whilst also having his face stomped on, call me old fashioned, but it seems a tad excessive. I understand what Ayer was trying to do, making it as realistic as possible, but he didn’t stop to think just how off-putting that might be. The film is unrelentingly grim.

The acting is strong and is probably the high point of the film, Soto is good and carries the film well even if he is upstaged at times by the other performers. LaBeouf is like a man possessed here, he fully sinks into the role in a way that is almost scary, he is terrific. Sadly his role is only quite small. There is also a nice cameo from Jimmy Smits at the end of film that sets up a potential sequel.

Overall, a strong action film that has a lot of good tension and keen stakes, the issue is the violence is a little too graphic and feels done for nothing more than shock value disguised as accuracy.

Pros.

Soto

LaBeouf

Smits’ cameo

The tension and the final showdown

Cons.

The violence is off-putting

3.5/5

An American Pickle: How Our Ancestors Would View Us

An American Pickle is a comedy drama film directed by Brandon Trost. The plot sees a Herschel (Seth Rogen), fall into a pickle briner and be trapped there for a few hundred years, he awakens in a different time, our present, and tries to see what has become of his family.

I don’t know if this film is supposed to be a comedy film, yes it has a wacky premise and yes it stars Seth Rogen in a double role, but at the same time it seems to have a lot of subtle subtext about identity and family that it seems far more concerned about rather than focusing on being funny. It didn’t make the laugh once, but it did make me think and feel, so in a way it is a triumph.

Seth Rogen has made a name for himself as a comedic actor, but here he brings much more to the table. Rogen plays Herschel as a man out of time, obviously, as someone who is trying to adapt to the world around him and find a reason to carry on, hence why bonding with his only living family member Ben (also Rogen), is so important to him. Ben on the other hand is a loner who can’t seem to deal with emotion or process the grief in his life, he has lost any form of his identity, but with the help of Herschel learns to regain it.

Overall, if you’re looking for the usual Rogen comedy film you won’t enjoy this, if you’re looking for something a bit deeper and more nuanced than this is for you. Be warned it can be quite depressing at times.

Pros.

Rogen as a dramatic actor

Rogen plays both roles well and crucially differently

It has a good heart

Cons.

It is not funny

It can be depressing at times

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Spies In Disguise: Slenderman’s Super Spy Cousin

Spies In Disguise is an animated family adventure film directed by Nick Bruno and Troy Quane. The plot sees super spy Lance (Will Smith), be accused of going rouge, in the process of clearing his name he is turned into a pigeon by child genius Walter (Tom Holland), and the two team up to save the world.

Before I get into this review I just want to talk about the character models. There is something seriously wrong with the proportions of these characters, to a point where Lance looks related to the Slender Man and Jack Skellington. I am of course talking about the legs of these characters; they are way too long for their bodies and other proportions it is distracting. The opening scene where we see Lance do spy stuff and beat up the Yakuza is the best example of how bad the character design looks; the legs are off.

The premise is fairly cliched and nothing you haven’t seen from a kid’s movie before, the theme is embracing your weirdness and realising that others who aren’t the same as you are okay too. I found this film to be quite enjoyable for the most part it had me laughing a few times, it hit the right emotional notes and the film knew just how to use Will Smith’s signature type of charisma. This film would be nothing without Smith.

I enjoyed the weirdness of this film and the pigeon stuff and would like to see more films embracing strange premises like this in the future.

Overall, Smith and his charisma made this film. Ben Mendelsohn is also strong as the film’s villain, who has many great moments to shine. My only complaint would be about the off-putting character design and the predicatable plot, but neither of these are deal breakers.

Pros.

Smith

Mendelsohn

All the pigeon stuff

Cons.

The legs

The predicatable plot

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Omen: A Cursed Film Through And Through

The Omen is a horror film directed by Richard Donner. The plot sees US ambassador to the UK Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck), become worried that there is something wrong with his young adopted son. Little does he know.

So this is a horror classic, I remember watching this when I was little and the scene when the nanny says, “this is for you Damien”, and then hangs herself has stayed with me all these years later, it scared me then and it scared me now.

The reason why this film works so well is because it builds the horror and the scares slowly over the course of the film, things become more demonic as they go on and then reach a fever pitch at the end. Moreover the scares come from the atmosphere and the premise itself rather than from cheap jump scares, which is something that plagues modern horror films.

Scenes like Damien’s first trip to the church work so well as they are very ordinary type events but then gradually become increasingly sinister. Harvey Stephens the child actor who plays infant Anti-Christ Damien is also doing a lot to make this film good, he can play both sweet and innocent and also chilling very well all at the same time. It is one of the few cases were a child actor actually helped to make a film better.

Overall, a classic for a reason, you can see how this film has inspired a lot of what has come after it. What’s more there are several scenes that stand the test of time and are still in 2020 just as scary as they were when this film first came out, a hopeful reminder of what horror can be.

Pros.

Stephens

Slowly building its world and its threats

Genuinely frightening

Well executed

Several iconic scenes

Cons.

Maybe a little familiar in modern times

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Deathstroke, Knights And Dragons: The Real Dark Knight Of The DC Universe

Deathstroke: Knights and Dragons is an animated film set within the DC animated universe. The plot tells the story of Slade Wilson (Michael Chiklis), the world’s best mercenary who is targeted by the villainous organisation HIVE. They take Slade’s son hostage and he has to get him back.

This was a very cool unexpected release, the animation style of this is pitch perfect. I loved the very obvious anime influence and the way the character looked and moved, I thought quite a few of the action scenes were beautifully done and looked very impressive.

I enjoyed the dive into Slade and who he is, with a focus on his family and the effect his work has on them. It was nice seeing him in more of an antihero role rather than as a villain as he normally appears, I think the character has a lot of potential and I would like to see his character get the live action treatment in the DCEU.

My only issue with the film is that the narrative repeats itself, it does this as Slade’s son is taken twice and he has to save him twice within the same film. I understand why it’s done to show his character growth and how he changed his approach the second time around, but I personally thought it would have worked better if the two hostage scenes had happened across two separate films.

Overall, this is one of the best DC Animated films I have seen in a long time, it is cool and badass, and just fun to watch.

Pros.

Showing Slade’s heroic side

The action scenes

The anime influence

The ending, teasing more to come.

Cons.

The narrative repetition

4/5

Reviewed by Luke