Superman: Soy Boy Savior

James Gunn’s Superman arrives, but is it enough to save the DCU.

So for the purpose of this review we’ll try and keep politics out of it, after Sean Gunn really tried to centre it around that, and we’ll leave off any references to Man Of Steel, with one quick addendum to say that adjusted for inflation Man Of Steel made more on its opening domestic weekend.

The film itself is pretty meh. I went into it with low expectations, the marketing had done a horrible job of making the film look stupid, goofy and far too present day, and whilst there are elements of that in this to be sure I think the film managed to exceed by rock bottom expectations.

There were a few good Superman comic esque moments mainly in the third act that made me smile, and a number of funny lines. However, Superman is not the Guardians of The Galaxy and the humour quickly becomes clawing. There are perfectly good scenes that could stand on their own, but then they’ll force in a joke to make you retch a little bit and ruin the scene.

Moreover, the weakening of Superman is a little too on the nose for me. Previous Superman films have kept him macho and powerful whilst also showing his good nature and down to earth personality, look at Smallville. However, here they go out of their way to make him more effeminate and soft, whilst this could be argued to just be how modern Hollywood views masculinity, or an attempt to make him more sympathetic during the sequence where he is basically cancelled is unclear, but it does become noticeable for all the wrong reasons, including but not limited to the use of therapy speak.

The final thing to note is that this is a James Gunn vanity project of that you can have no doubt, and whilst I like him as a director I do think it gets a bit irritating as the film progresses. We already know Krypto was based off Gunn’s own dog, and that his wife and brother are in the film, but then when you look at the cast you see that it is stacked with Gunn’s personal friends as well as the aforementioned cancelling storyline being reflective of Gunn’s own experiences to a degree. When you think about this in totality it starts to become a bit sickening.

Overall, fairly mid-range.

2.5/5

Pros.

A few good moments

The third act is better than the other two

It world builds

Cons.

Clarke and Lois

They make Superman weak

How this is a Gunn vanity project

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Fantastic Four First Steps: Worse Than The Trank Version?

Summary

The Fantastic Four take their first steps into the MCU but it is more like a crawl.

Of the great war between Marvel and DC this summer I would say that even though both sides produced bad offerings, this was the losing side. By the skin of their teeth Superman won.

Whilst Superman has elements that are straight up bad, yes I am looking at you Jor-El, the Fantastic Four feels boring and badly paced. The first act which features a lot of family time placed in the film to establish who the Fantastic Four are, feels like filler as the film is trying to stretch out time before Galactus, Ralph Ineson, and Shalla-Ball, Julia Garner, show up. During this opening act we don’t get much focus on the groups origins beyond a few lines of dialogue and a demonstration of each’s power, the film assumes you know who they are and know the story, which goes against Feige’s claim of it not being homework. The montage tv style way the film opens is jarring and a bad creative choice as well.

This is not to do with the opening act but a broader concern, the Sixties aesthetic, quickly becomes irritating over the course of the film, the time period itself plays in very little it is purely an aesthetic choice, especially as the Fantastic Four themselves have advanced tech. If that level of shallow period choice appeals to you then you may enjoy this yet.

As for the characters, I was wrong, Joesph Quinn is a good Johnny, he is not the ladies man that Chris Evans was two decades ago, but he is still charming and fun, and Ben, Eben Moss-Bachrach is the heart of the film. You have to separate the fact that Moss-Bachrach hates Israel, yes I know he has Jewish roots, particularly when Ben’s Judaism is a big part of the character. Ineson as ever is a giant cast in a small role, he manages to make Galactus menacing and threatening in the way he should always have been presented. Then you get to Shalla-Ball, they said there was no issue with her being Galactus’ Herald over Norrin Radd as there was a comics history of it, however, they rewrite her entire comics origins so that doesn’t hold much weight. She also has a Rose Tico moment wherein she takes away from Johnny’s heroic sacrifice. However, that aside the character does feel more human and grow on you over the course of the film and has far more range emotionally than Sue, Vanessa Kirby, but we are getting there. Reed, Pedro Pascal, is a shell of former incarnations, he is shown as an anxious geek, who would rather cry than take charge. At no point does Reed lead the team and any claim to the contrary is just a lie. Sue is by far and away the worst character in the film for several reasons, firstly you have the fact that she is simply characterised as a mother and from the moment she is pregnant that is what defines her, this is one dimensional. Secondly you have her personality, which whilst in keeping with pregnant women, she is hormonal, just comes across as though she is in a constant state of Greta Thunberg levels of how dare you. She is a girl boss and is actively abusive towards her family, there is a scene in which she says to Reed him being himself is a problem. If you or anyone you know is in a relationship where one partner says to the other that them being themselves is the problem and that they have to be something else then they need to leave that relationship. There is also no chemistry at all between Kibry and Pascal

Moreover, the birthing scene and no I am not talking about when Sue gives birth to Franklin but rather the final fight with Galactus wherein Sue manages to defeat him by herself whilst making pregnancy noises, not only is this an I am woman here me roar girl boss moment, as the male characters are all effectively useless, but also incredibly cringe.

Two final points to hit home before we tie this up. The CGI on baby Franklin, is noticeably bad and distracting and secondly this film does not tie into the MCU in any meaningful way, there are moments wherein you go ah this is where they are going to show up in the MCU but no. They do not enter into the MCU at any point. Moreover, the post credits scene is a jangling keys moment wherein Doctor Doom, Robert Downey Jr, takes baby Franklin. It is not an epic moment but rather a short scene of Sue reacting, there is no dialogue from Doom, the costume doesn’t look great, and there is no broader implications imparted. Fans of the comics will know that Doom is going to use Franklin in the same way he used Owen Reece in Hickman’s run however normies will be left going who’s that and why is he taking the baby.

Overall, as I sit here and write this I begin to see more and more flaws with the film.

1.5/5

Pros.

Ben and Johnny are charming

Shalla-Ball grows on you and Galactus is cool

Cons.

The style and aesthetic is hollow

Sue is one dimensional and abusive

Reed is weak and barely has anything to do

The post credits scene is a letdown, and does not build hype for Doomsday

The film does not bring the FF into the MCU

The CGI is quite bad in places

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Madame Web: Sony Hates Spider-Man But Not As Much As They Hate Making Money

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Cassie Web, Dakota Johnson, learns that the greatest responsibility brings the greatest power, or some knock off trash like that.

Honestly was this film a joke? Is Tom Rothman so stupid, out of touch and delusional that he thinks this is what is studio should be making? This is why Sony is the butt of the joke to every comics fan.

I am going to obliterate this movie as it is what it deserves, but first to the pros, slim though they are. I actually liked Adam Scott as Ben Parker, and I thought Dakota Johnson was a likeable protagonist, that is it.

So the three other spider-women are barely even husks of characters, they are just bland character types. You could argue Sony included all these spider-women for one of two reasons, either they wanted them for the male gaze this is reflected by the table dancing scene, however, if this is the case they would have made their outfits more revealing. Or they wanted them in a diversity check box sort of way to add to the themes of female empowerment. The film tried to make itself the most empowering it could be but honestly it just comes off as a bunch of white male executives mind mapping the word girl power and then being like yes cats, loneliness and awkward people skills. Also you could call it false advertising that at no point do any of the spider-teens get powers but hey ho.

Then you have the awful product placement that shows that Sony does not care about the Spider-Man brand and will just whore it out for cash wherever they can. A supposed self-respecting studio has its villain killed as a giant Pepsi sign falls on him, it is just gross and it shows that they don’t care about the movie beyond them getting paid.

Then you have the villain, Tahar Rahim, who has all his lines dubbed over for some reason, and is stupidly over powered to such a point that it makes no sense he can’t easily kill them all. The character has no real motivation beyond he’s evil and scared of his dreams and so needs to kill some people, quality writing.

Moreover, the jungle spider-people are dumb, the effect of them coming down the trees like it is some sort of horror film is overused, and I have read many a Spider-Man comic book and I have never heard of these guys before I think they were made up for the film which makes them worse.

Oh and remember no one can say the name of Peter Parker because Sony doesn’t want to taint its good properties with this garbage.

Overall, one of the biggest misfires in comic book movie history.

1/5

Pros.

Andrew Scott and Dakota Johnson

Cons.

It is stupid and makes no sense

It actively ruins the Spider-Man mythology

The spider-teens are false advertising and shallow husks of characters devoid of anything resembling personality

The product placement

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Aquaman 2: Isn’t The Ocean Polluted Enough Without Garbage Like This

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Aquaman, Jason Momoa, has to have one last tiresome fight against the tide in a final farewell to the DCEU.

I liked seeing Jason Momoa being a dad and being softer and not the alpha male he often plays, I think it is important to see guys be a bit softer from time to time. Again did the film emasculate him I’d say not as he is quickly back to fighting and carrying on. In a sense this feels very much like Thor Ragnarök or even Love and Thunder, goofy softness mixed with some action hero moments just so you remember what you are watching.

The Amber Heard stuff was not dealt with as it should have been at WB with Emilia Clarke taking over the role and she is still here if only briefly, and if only as Elon threatened to sue allegedly. Her presence drags the film down but hey at least the film flopped so her acting career goes out on a low note, like pooing the bed.

Honestly it was hard to care about anything in this film or the world at large as you know the reboot is coming so it all has an air of what’s the point.

James Wann’s talents were wasted and he should have gone back to the Conjuring universe and left this turkey to die. It is sad to see the DCEU end on such a low note but they did it to themselves this wound was self-inflicted.

Overall, an average to poor superhero film in a year of bad superhero films.

2/5

Pros.

Jason Momoa has some charm

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

Amber Heard is in it

It is too long

You just don’t care about it

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The Marvels: Make Iman Vellani The Face Of The MCU And Do It Now

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Captain Marvel, Brie Larson, is back and this time she is more human than before. I am going to catch some hate for this one.

I am one of the few people who loved this film, genuinely I think its great. Now I am not arguing its perfect there are a couple of major things wrong with it, but for the most part it is a lot of fun, the leads have great chemistry together, it is funny and I actually liked the singing world thing.

I think this film did a lot to make Larson’s character a lot more fun and interesting, I warmed to her more here than I did in the first film. I think however, that a big part of what made Larson more likeable and the film as a whole better was Kamala Khan, Iman Vellani, who was a scene stealer here and easily the best part of the whole film. Vellani’s energy is infectious and she is the most compelling member of the team by a country mile. Sadly, the third member of the team who’s name escapes me, the one from Wandavision, is but boring they do nothing with her until the very end and for the rest of the time she is just kind of there.

The singing world won’t be for everyone and I actually liked it for two reasons, firstly Brie Larson is a good singer, and secondly I thought again it made the character more fun and whacky after being overly serious in the first film to the point of being emotionless. Before a range of angry comments come in think about this Tony and Steve in their films made jokes they weren’t stoic all the way throughout, but they did that with Larson in the first film. I didn’t really think the whole oh she is secretly married thing was a good set up for the musical number however and I thought that was a needless detour.

My final point for the film is that the villain was weak as hell, Zawe Ashton, is a good actor and is capable of so much more than this. I don’t blame her though I think an actor is only ever as good as the director and the writer, but still there character was so generic she fades from memory before even the first post credits scene rolls around, which by the way is an odd way to introduce the X-Men but hey.

Overall, maybe Marvel’s best film of last year not perfect but better than Antman and everything they put out on Disney +

4.5/5

Pros.

Brie Larson

Iman Vellani

It is a lot of fun

It is a better sequel in nearly every way

Cons.

The third team member and villain are both incredibly forgettable

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Blue Beetle: Another Flop For The DCEU

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jamie Reyes, played by Xolo Maridueňa, gets the power of the scarab in the latest troubled chapter in the DCEU.

So I will give this film props Maridueňa makes for a likeable lead and his goofy sort of nerdy energy does help this film to avoid a lot of the issues that some of the other DCEU films have with being overly serious. Again I found Jamie as a character to be very relatable, his journey was one I feel a lot of the audience could be on board with: trying to find your place in the world, get your crush to like you, be seen well in the eyes of your family etc, all of these things made the character work.

The wider focus on family as a theme also added a lot to the film, and it is humorous that in the same year we had Shazam Fury Of The Gods a film that wants to be all about family but that forgets what it means pretty early on and instead takes things in a much more obnoxious direction. Here I felt like the family Reyes felt real they felt like a normal family and I bought there interactions a lot more than in the Shazam sequel.

The superhero stuff was where this film fell down for me, this is an origin story you have all seen before sure not in the context of Blue Beetle but with other superheroes and it just came off to me at least like a knock off Spider-Man. Regular guy gets powers and then finds himself in over his head and having to protect his loved ones, the only difference is a spider bite to a sort of technological symbiote.

The evil villain being some blood thirsty corporate shark/arms dealer was again incredibly cliché, there might have been some supposed commentary in this decision but honestly I just didn’t care about this section of the film at all, and it was pretty clear Susan Sarandon was only there for the money.

Overall, it was okay Jamie and his family worked well and I would like to see more of their world but none of it matters as it will all be cleaned away by the reboot, and yes they said oh Blue Beetle is a part of the new DCU, but after the box office it pulled it is as dead as the dodos.

3.5/5

Pros.

Jamie

His family

The relatability

The humour

Cons.

The superhero stuff is boring

The villain is super weak

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The Flash: Racing Your Way Out Of The Cinema

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Barry Allen, played by Ezra Miller, has to contend with the multiverse and a massive wave of fan hate.

Honestly, I wrote in an earlier post about the MCU carrying out acts of self-harm against itself but something has to be said here for the DCEU trying to reach out and top it. There was so so much going against this film, but WBD and the higher ups over there seemed oblivious to it, with all the real world controversy surrounding Miller they should have been recast long before this film was even close to shooting, but Warner Brothers doesn’t like or bother listening to their fans hence they got this massive flop.

Now outside of that the film itself isn’t good. My main issue with it, setting to one side Miller’s involvement, is the fact that the CGI looks badly unfinished. Now the director thought it was a good idea to come out and defend the film’s shockingly bad CGI and say it was a creative decision on his part, if that was the case he should have been fired along with Miller. The CGI isn’t just bad it is distractingly so, there can be a somewhat decent scene entirely derailed as in the corner of the shot there is a CGI effect that is looking Mummy Returns levels of bad and you just can’t look away.

Furthermore, I don’t like how the DCEU’s version of the flash is portrayed, I think the geeky loser sort of works in a large ensemble but when two of the lead characters are played the same and are the central focus it becomes irritating quickly, quirky only usually works in small doses.

Finally, it is worth mentioning that the cameos feel incredibly forced, I understand that maybe I am in the minority here in not liking the growing trend of multiverses but seeing them bring characters back from previous films or fan casts only really works for me if there is a plot reason for it. To give you an example of what I mean, No Way Home works because the coming together of the Spider-Men is required by the story and feels organic, whereas here I guess you can justify Michael Keaton’s returning Batman and Sasha Calle’s Supergirl but the section near the end where it is just as many different cameos as they can just feels forced. Moreover, the George Clooney appearance at the end is the most infuriating of the bunch, not only is it a come on really sort of moment but also it immediately made me think Christian Bale said no. Why bring back one of the most disliked Batmen, arguably on a par with Kilmer?

Overall, this is what WBD gets for ignoring fans, burying their head in the sand about backlash and real world controversy, and fundamentally misusing the multiverse concept.

1/5

Pros.

Micheal Keaton is having fun

Cons.

It waste Calle’s Supergirl

Miller should have been recast

The CGI

The aggressive and never justified running time

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Across The Spider-Verse: Spider-People Overkill

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Miles Morales returns to the Spider-Verse.

I was very excited for this film going in, but have to say I was a little disappointed with what we got.

First the positives, I thought the character work was great particularly as it applied to parent child dynamics and the idea of finding a home/family, in this regard the film really nailed some deep emotional scenes that were genuinely moving. I also liked the addition of all the new Spider-People especially Spider-Man India, I did think they went a little cameo mad especially when they got to the clubhouse near the end of the film, but for the most part I liked seeing all the different variants I remember from the comics. Of course another pro of the film was the animation, which was incredible and a real feat to behold, the fact that the animators were able to blend so many different styles of animation so seamlessly together in one film highlights the artistry of Sony Animation and is really a big boon for them.

Now despite all of that, this wasn’t a perfect film. I disliked the act structure and thought it felt like one of the Hobbit films, this was mainly due to the fact that it didn’t have an ending or third act but rather one long second act that will then lead into the next film. I understand this film was written to end on a cliff-hanger, but I think that it could have had a degree of resolution within its own narrative as well as doing this rather than just abruptly cutting away. Due to this structure decision the film feels like it has quite bad pacing issues. I also didn’t like what they did to Miguel O’Hara, and admittedly this one hit me harder than most as outside of Peter Parker Miguel O’Hara is my favourite other spider-person, I think making him a villain was a bad call. I understand that in the third film it will be revealed that he was taking orders from/ coerced to work for Morlun and the Inheritors and he will redeem himself, but I just think that by making him so outwardly villainous here it takes away from a lot of his heroic potential in the future.

3.5/5

Pros.

Spider-Man India

Miles

The animation

The emotional beats

Cons.

The pacing issues

The ending

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Shazam Fury Of The Gods: Gal Gadot’s Best Performance Yet

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Billy Batson, played by Asher Angel, and his family do battle with evil Greek Gods.

So this film has got quite a mixed response from audiences but honestly I don’t think it is all that bad. Yes there are some obvious issues with the film such as the dialogue, which is nothing short of appalling at times, and of course the skittles product placement sequence, but there are also things to enjoy.

I liked the wider moral lesson of letting go that this film went for, I thought it was quite deep and inspired. Moreover, though this film didn’t tug on my heartstrings in the same way the first film did there was a number of moments wherein I found myself caring about these characters and feeling things.

The cast across the board was very good, Zachery Levi was a clear standout for praise as he once again manages to capture that childhood naivety whilst also seemingly like a capable superhero force. However, I would say he is outshined very, very surprisingly by Gal Gadot. Now you all know my thoughts on Gadot’s acting ability, she can’t, but here her brief scene at the end of the film is a complete scene stealer and quite probably the best of the film.

One thing I will note is that this film much like Ant-Man last month made me miss street level heroes and superhero films that weren’t so CGI heavy. There were a number of moments in this film that reminded me of the classic early Raimi Spider-Man films, which whilst having CGI in them, were no where near the total CGI overload of today’s superhero films and therein lies the problem, I was being reminded of these better less CGI heavy films whilst watching and that went against the film.

Overall, fun but certainly not a must see.

3/5

Pros.

It’s fun

A few good jokes

Gadot

Cons.

The dialogue

Too much CGI

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Batman and Robin: The Bat Suit Always Did Need Nipples

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film that put nipples on the bat suit

Many people would tell you that this is the worst Batman film, and whilst it certainly isn’t good I don’t know if I would call it the worst, maybe I have softened on it with time, but I do think there is some campy charm to this film that after the decade + of overly serious Batman we have had I wouldn’t mind seeing again.

The performances admittedly are a mixed bag, with some being good, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, some passable, George Clooney as Batman and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, and some being terrible Chris O’ Donnell as Robin. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze has a special place in my heart as he is almost symbolic of the cocaine fuelled madness, which I imagine was the entire films production. His ice puns are a particular highlight.

I do think that this is one of the those films that reaches the point of being so bad it is good, and think if you view it as a love letter to the Adam West Batman series of yore then there is a lot this film gets right. However, if the only Batman for you is the incredibly dark brooding one then yes you probably won’t like this film.

Overall, not a good Batman film but certainly one that exists within the so bad it is good range.

2/5

Pros.

The ice puns

The campy silliness

Cons.

Some of the performances are woeful

It is one for way too long

It is mind-numbingly stupid

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