The Silver Surfer No One Asked For

This piece will talk about Marvel and the recent Fantastic Four casting news. A moment before we get into it, I know the female version of the Silver Surfer exists in the comics, minorly, and I know this is not in the main universe but rather an alternative timeline. Neither thing changes my point.

Remember a month or so ago when Bob Iger said that Disney was going to do a pivot and focus a little bit less on the message, or something like that, I remember it and I met it with cautious optimism, but now I am beginning to question whether I was dreaming that and if it ever happened. The news that inspired the current piece is that Julia Garner is playing a female version of the Silver Surfer in the upcoming Fantastic Four film, not gender flipped.

What bothers me about this is not the fact that even with CGI the actor looks nothing like the character from the comics she is far too small for it, but rather that this is what Marvel are leading with. Why couldn’t they just give us the Fantastic Four as they normally are with the regular Silver Surfer and Galactus and then bring her in later. Why did they have to present the news as if she was the Silver Surfer, with a suggested gender flip. I think the answer is obvious.

At the risk of sounding cynical Kevin Feige doesn’t get it, many people thought when Victoria Alonso stepped back the gender/race swaps and the subversions of classic stories would stop, but no. Personally I believe that this is bigger than Alonso and I think it is Feige himself pushing this through because you have to believe Bob Iger doesn’t want this especially with the way it went down online.

I think two things are at play here, firstly Feige or someone high up at Marvel studios didn’t like how male skewing the team was, as they have always been and been popular as, so they decided they needed to add another woman to the cast in order to make sure no one called them an ist or so such like that. Secondly, I think Marvel are aware how this will go down and are trying to hate farm it for attention, with the idea that all publicity is good publicity as even with the casting announcements I have not seen anyone talking about this film online. Maybe they thought they would bring it back in some way, the outrage would get interest. I don’t know but I will say this there is a reason they didn’t lead with the well known and well liked version of the Surfer that fans wanted, they may try and say that they are saving him for something or that oh you’ll get both but I personally think the way they announced it was a clear attempt to hate farm and get attention with an unpopular announcement. It looks like it worked.

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Madame Web: Sony Hates Spider-Man But Not As Much As They Hate Making Money

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Cassie Web, Dakota Johnson, learns that the greatest responsibility brings the greatest power, or some knock off trash like that.

Honestly was this film a joke? Is Tom Rothman so stupid, out of touch and delusional that he thinks this is what is studio should be making? This is why Sony is the butt of the joke to every comics fan.

I am going to obliterate this movie as it is what it deserves, but first to the pros, slim though they are. I actually liked Adam Scott as Ben Parker, and I thought Dakota Johnson was a likeable protagonist, that is it.

So the three other spider-women are barely even husks of characters, they are just bland character types. You could argue Sony included all these spider-women for one of two reasons, either they wanted them for the male gaze this is reflected by the table dancing scene, however, if this is the case they would have made their outfits more revealing. Or they wanted them in a diversity check box sort of way to add to the themes of female empowerment. The film tried to make itself the most empowering it could be but honestly it just comes off as a bunch of white male executives mind mapping the word girl power and then being like yes cats, loneliness and awkward people skills. Also you could call it false advertising that at no point do any of the spider-teens get powers but hey ho.

Then you have the awful product placement that shows that Sony does not care about the Spider-Man brand and will just whore it out for cash wherever they can. A supposed self-respecting studio has its villain killed as a giant Pepsi sign falls on him, it is just gross and it shows that they don’t care about the movie beyond them getting paid.

Then you have the villain, Tahar Rahim, who has all his lines dubbed over for some reason, and is stupidly over powered to such a point that it makes no sense he can’t easily kill them all. The character has no real motivation beyond he’s evil and scared of his dreams and so needs to kill some people, quality writing.

Moreover, the jungle spider-people are dumb, the effect of them coming down the trees like it is some sort of horror film is overused, and I have read many a Spider-Man comic book and I have never heard of these guys before I think they were made up for the film which makes them worse.

Oh and remember no one can say the name of Peter Parker because Sony doesn’t want to taint its good properties with this garbage.

Overall, one of the biggest misfires in comic book movie history.

1/5

Pros.

Andrew Scott and Dakota Johnson

Cons.

It is stupid and makes no sense

It actively ruins the Spider-Man mythology

The spider-teens are false advertising and shallow husks of characters devoid of anything resembling personality

The product placement

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Echo Series Overview: Who Cares

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Echo, Alaqua Cox, has an origin story before the Fantastic Four and the X-Men.

I am a big comics fan, and I like some other people knew of Echo long before she appeared in Hawkeye, I had remembered her from the pages of a Daredevil comic I had long since read. Within said comic she was a side character, important to the plot sure but a bit player overall, it was Daredevil’s book. Then you get around to Hawkeye a show that didn’t really need to exist, but that aside the clear breakout character of that show is Kate Bishop, Hailee Steinfeld, she should have been the one to get a spin off. In both of these cases Echo was a side character, no one at the end of that series said I wanted more Echo, no one, but hey Disney pushed ahead with a Disney + series. Was it because it was good optics for Marvel studios to be like we are so progressive look at how inclusive our projects are we are up lifting this disabled minority character and giving her a platform aren’t we magnificent, I’ll let you decide.

Anyway they dropped the series all at once because they had a lot of faith in it, not, Disney claim it broke records but then they always say that don’t they. Anyway, the series as it was had moments of interest, I liked seeing a superhero story take place outside of New York and I like the Native American Mythology that was woven into the series, both of these things helped to give the series some flavour.

However, I think the single biggest problem with this series is the lead, Cox cannot act and is not a believable action hero either. Whether she is hearing a touching personal speech about how loved she is, or being punched in the face she has the same look of being irritated throughout. I don’t know if this was poor direction or instruction for her but the character she looked angry all the time even when she wasn’t supposed to be it was jarring to say the least. Moreover, I just don’t believe her as an action hero taking down guys three times her size, it pushes the boundaries of believability to such a point that it is laughable.

Again the violence wants to be shocking but it just isn’t, it is still tame and boring and if this is what r rated Marvel looks like then its just more of the same we have already grown to hate. In the comics you get blood it feels real, here it just feels like watching a soap opera.

Overall, if I was Disney I would stop all these Disney + shows they are really truly hurting the brand, do you think Agatha later in the year will get people to care about the MCU again, let me tell you it won’t.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is only 5 episodes

It has a unique flavour

Cons.

Cox cannot act

The series didn’t need to exist

It is dull

It adds nothing to the MCU

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Loki Season Two Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Loki, Tom Hiddleston, is back as the multiverse’s repair man.

This was much better than the slog that was Secret Invasion but even so I am left questioning is this what we have come to? What I mean by that is that this is fine, but can’t we hope for better?

I think the last few months has seen Marvel and Disney realise that they need to make less and better shows and films, because cranking them out just because you can is not getting audiences to care. I liked the first season of this show, but did I think it needed a season two no. Again they try and do some stuff with Kang, Jonathan Majors, which now seems doomed to be scrapped, and make Loki some sort of multiversal God but is any of it needed does any of it fill you with the same excitement as when you watched the first Avengers film, no. Maybe I am burnt out perhaps that is it, but for me all of this recent Disney + Marvel stuff has been like did we really need that.

I think that instead of being a mark of quality Marvel shows on Disney + are just fine and filler until the next big film which you actually care about, a drastic overhaul is needed.

Overall, whilst season two has a few good moments I think that it is diminishing returns and I think the show as a whole cannot reach the same entertaining hights it did in the first season, they should stop putting Marvel shows on Disney + as the watering down of the brand is clear to see.

2.5/5

Pros.

Owen Wilson

It has a few good moments

It can be entertaining when it wants to be

Cons.

It is filler

It doesn’t need to exist

A lot of it is for the cutting room floor

Sylve is incredibly irritating and doesn’t stop shouting at Loki for the whole season

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The Marvels: Make Iman Vellani The Face Of The MCU And Do It Now

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Captain Marvel, Brie Larson, is back and this time she is more human than before. I am going to catch some hate for this one.

I am one of the few people who loved this film, genuinely I think its great. Now I am not arguing its perfect there are a couple of major things wrong with it, but for the most part it is a lot of fun, the leads have great chemistry together, it is funny and I actually liked the singing world thing.

I think this film did a lot to make Larson’s character a lot more fun and interesting, I warmed to her more here than I did in the first film. I think however, that a big part of what made Larson more likeable and the film as a whole better was Kamala Khan, Iman Vellani, who was a scene stealer here and easily the best part of the whole film. Vellani’s energy is infectious and she is the most compelling member of the team by a country mile. Sadly, the third member of the team who’s name escapes me, the one from Wandavision, is but boring they do nothing with her until the very end and for the rest of the time she is just kind of there.

The singing world won’t be for everyone and I actually liked it for two reasons, firstly Brie Larson is a good singer, and secondly I thought again it made the character more fun and whacky after being overly serious in the first film to the point of being emotionless. Before a range of angry comments come in think about this Tony and Steve in their films made jokes they weren’t stoic all the way throughout, but they did that with Larson in the first film. I didn’t really think the whole oh she is secretly married thing was a good set up for the musical number however and I thought that was a needless detour.

My final point for the film is that the villain was weak as hell, Zawe Ashton, is a good actor and is capable of so much more than this. I don’t blame her though I think an actor is only ever as good as the director and the writer, but still there character was so generic she fades from memory before even the first post credits scene rolls around, which by the way is an odd way to introduce the X-Men but hey.

Overall, maybe Marvel’s best film of last year not perfect but better than Antman and everything they put out on Disney +

Pros.

Brie Larson

Iman Vellani

It is a lot of fun

It is a better sequel in nearly every way

Cons.

The third team member and villain are both incredibly forgettable

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Secret Invasion: Another Act Of MCU Self Harm

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Nick Fury, played by Samuel. L. Jackson returns to earth to try and stop a Skrull terrorist network. This will be an overview of the series.

Deary me, after all the talk of Marvel’s decline they decide to bring this out. Now I am not one for saying that if you adapt a comic storyline you have to do so faithfully and with due reverence, however, this feels like spitting on the face of the comic and replacing it with something that can only be described as hot and steaming.

I think my major issue with this is that rather than be a big epic event like in the comics it is so small scale that you question the budget for the show. One has to ask could they not afford Brie Larson’s salary to get her to appear, as Captain Marvel is deeply tied to the Skrulls. They dredge out the idea that this is person for Fury and this is his last go around, and then are too afraid to kill him off, making it all null.

The new characters added are pretty rancid, I will give the show that I am interested to see more of Olivia Colman’s British secret agent character only really because I am a fan of Colman and also I hope it leads to Excalibur. However, outside of Colman the rest are non-entities. We have a new American president, who is an obvious Trump parallel, because that is what the MCU really needed, another group of terrorists where the show tries to be sympathetic and goes oh but actually they were let down by an MCU hero so that makes them complex and nuanced, when they are just terrorists. Then there is Emilia Clarke’s G’iah, yet another overly power CGI hero because we don’t already have enough of them, there is nothing likeable or interesting about her character, hopefully she will be one that Marvel just lets drop off the grid and quietly die.

Overall, another milestone in the decline and death of the MCU.

1/5

Pros.

Colman

Cons.

It ruins Nick Fury in a pretty big way

It spits on the comics storyline

It is boring and awfully paced

The budgeting concerns were readily apparent

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3: And You Thought Toy Story 3 Was Sad, You Haven’t Seen Anything Yet

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Guardian’s gather for one final journey together.

Buckle up this is going to be a long one. To give you a peak behind the curtain usually the first thing I do when writing a review is to decide on a score, but this is the first film where even as I am writing this sentence I am not quite sure what I want to give the film.

In one regard, this film gave us conclusions to some of the best character arcs in the MCU and did the best character work I have ever seen in one of these films. It was perfectly balanced in terms of every character having their moment to shine and each one had a satisfying ending, be that retirement or new calls to leadership. Moreover, I thought this film perfectly encapsulated the family bond of the Guardians as a team and showed in a very earnest way just how much they care about each other.

I must say before going further I was very surprised no one died and that instead the characters were just retired, as I thought for sure someone was going to die. I think in a sense if someone had died the film would have been more effecting, but I think the reason no one did is because the film couldn’t take any more darkness, I’ll get to that in a minute.

Also I enjoyed how Adam Warlock, played by Will Poulter, was done. Yes I know I am in the minority on that but I thought it was a different side to him then what the comics usually show and had him instead be more vulnerable. He definitely needs to come back in the future especially if it is a space bound story. Although I will say that I thought it was a little contrived how they switched Adam from being a baddie to a goodie, and I thought that the Sovereign were largely wasted. It would have been very interesting to have seen their society realise the man they thought was a God was in fact a monster.

Now back to the other regard, in many ways I didn’t enjoy this film. I thought it was a good character piece but not a fun time at the cinema or a film I would ever want to watch again. When I next do my Marvel rewatch this film will be left out. The reason for that is because of the bleak, distressing and deeply upsetting scenes of animal abuse that pepper the film. Yes, I know that a, they are not real animals and that it is just CGI and b, that Rocket’s backstory from the comics is twisted and depressing so they had to do the adaption justice. However, my counter to both of those points would be that it doesn’t make the film any less depressing and unhappy of a watch. They could have shown Rocket’s backstory without going as hard as they did, even if it was just off screen or implied, they didn’t need to show some of the things they did. I think the perfect encapsulation of what I am talking about comes during the destruction of Counter-Earth, in which Adam Warlock’s pet urinates in fear as it thinks it is going to die on the Guardian’s ship. Perhaps to some that scene may have been a joke, but to me I found it to be the icing on the cake of horrible treatment towards animals which I found very distressing. Also don’t get me started on the Holocaust parallels in the final section of the film wherein the children on the ship are about to be killed before being liberated by the Guardians.

PS. If you are considering taking your kids to see this then hear me now, don’t do it this isn’t a happy go lucky Marvel romp this film goes to incredibly dark places and frankly I don’t think it is suitable for kids

Overall, great character work but honestly a very miserable film to watch.

3/5

Pros.

The ending

The character work

It perfectly balances every character and gives everyone their moment

Cons.

It isn’t a fun watch and is deeply depressing and upsetting at times

It has major pacing issues

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Marvel’s Week From Hell

Written by Luke Barnes

I want to use this piece to talk about Marvel’s week from hell, with Victoria Alonso being fired and Jonathan Majors being accused of domestic violence.

An argument could be made that Marvel has been circling the drain for some time now, things have been getting worse and worse over the last phase as we know because Marvel Studios has been favouring quantity over quality, supposedly on the orders of the former Disney CEO. However, this week the drama has seemingly really intensified and I want to give my take on it, what it means for Marvel and what I think they should do going forward.

Regarding the situation with Alonso, I would argue they made the right call, she is threatening to take Disney to court now so it may continue to be a headache but no doubt it will be easily snuffed out. However, I think removing Alonso was a good call as she has said some culture war type tripe before, see her comments about the X-Men, and could be seen to be one of the main voices, allegedly, pushing for wider social commentary and identity politics in the films. More of that is not what the MCU needs right now, it needs to bring back audiences from both sides of the political divide. In addition there is the talk of Alonso, again allegedly, being a highly toxic force when it came to the VFX departments as she seemed to be a cruel boss who would favour those loyal to her and punish the rest, now this is unsubstantiated beyond a few people’s alleged first person accounts but if true its probably why the VFX work of late has been so bad within the MCU.

Regarding the Majors situation, everything is still quite up in the air but things don’t look good and it looks like Majors may have done some bad stuff, again all alleged at this moment. They are trying to paint it as the accuser was having some sort of break and that’s what happened and Majors is innocent, but I smell trash and think far more likely Majors and his team are trying to destroy the credibility of the witness in order to get him off and that the alleged retraction she has written is most likely being done after she has received a pay out or possibly something stronger, a court battle she probably can’t afford. Again all alleged and my opinion. I think this proves that movie studios need to better vet their actors, especially as a history of violence is starting to emerge online with regard to Majors’ past. I think regardless of where the arrest goes Marvel Studios and or Disney should conduct their own investigation and if this story is even slightly true, then Majors should be fired and the role of Kang recast.

I really think and have said many times before on social media that I think the best thing for the MCU right now would be for them to step back, delay all their productions, except maybe Guardians,into next year and rework things. Go back to the basis and quality check every project, cancel somethings that don’t need to be there and course correct as currently the MCU seems to be in freefall. I would still imagine that Guardians will do well in the coming months, but I think the Marvels much like the recent Ant-Man will do terribly for Marvel Studios and push the need for change.

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A Comic Readers Guide To The MCU: Where Are The Inhumans?

Written by Luke Barnes

Hi folks, in this new series of articles I am trying to merge two of my main passions into one easy to read piece, a true labor of love. I am currently in my mid-twenties and have been reading Marvel comics since I was young, I have read others besides but I know Marvel well and so decided to make a series of posts wherein I talk about concepts, ideas, and possibly upcoming stuff from or to the MCU and try and give you a bit of a comics background and explain my own thoughts on where these things are going. I hope you enjoy.

Where are the Inhumans?

Within the pages of Marvel comics the Inhumans are second only to Mutants in terms of importance, remember that as it will come back around later. The Inhumans and the Royal Family in particular have featured in a number of different stories and runs over the years, some incredibly important to the comics that are inspiring where the MCU is heading, so the question I want to explore today is where are they in the MCU? Are they coming or have they been replaced?

As it stands a number of elements which would seemingly herald the arrival of the Inhumans are set up in the MCU, namely the Kree, and Black Bolt, played by Anson Mount, did appear in last year’s Doctor Strange film as a member of the Illuminati before getting offed. However, Kamala Khan, played by Iman Vellani, a key Inhuman figure in the comics was made a mutant for her show so this then begs the question are the Inhumans being replaced by mutants within the MCU? This wouldn’t be outside of the realms of possibilities as one of the main reasons the Inhumans have been pushed so much in the comics over the last decade was as a replacement to the X-Men due to Marvel not wanting to push properties they didn’t own, bar Spider-Man, too much in the comics department, allegedly. I also think the creatives at Marvel are still keenly aware of how much of a disaster the Inhumans show was for them and are wanting to distance themselves from it, but with the return of Mount’s Black Bolt this suggests that maybe the door is open to the Inhumans in the future. I think it would be very foolish to not have the Inhumans show up somewhere down the line, be that for the eventual main timeline Illuminati or for Secret Wars. If I am being real with you I think the Inhumans could be said to be existing in the world of the MCU currently but just that we don’t find out about them till later. So to sum up the question I think they will come eventually but that for now mutants are the MCU’s main focus.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this third edition of the Comic Readers Guide To The MCU if you have any suggestions for future topics then please get in touch.

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A Comic Readers Guide To The MCU: Exploring The Unknown Regions

Written by Luke Barnes

Unexplored Locations In The MCU

I was recently watching a Youtube video about the MCU and it struck me that it is very America centric. Yes there has been some recent exploration, with Wakanda, Talokan and London, but for the most part there are a lot of well known comic locations that still remain undiscovered in the MCU and this article of the Comic Readers Guide To The MCU wants to be the first to plant their flag in these locations and talk about how they may come into the MCU in the near future. For the most part this will be specific to the Earth of Marvel comics and not talk about space stuff and different dimensions.

The first two locations I want to talk about are tied into the Fantastic Four and will likely arrive along with them, the first is Ancient Egypt, which we have a link to through the Moon Knight show, but we haven’t seen a film set there yet or dealing with those sort of characters. This is where I think the Fantastic Four film will be set, I think it will have the team travel back in time to Ancient Egypt, with their powers as it isn’t an origin movie, and fight Rama-Tut, the Kang variant, no doubt beating him but also somehow getting stuck there which will then provide a reason for their absence thus far.

The next location is Latveria, which as many of you will know is the homeland of Victor Von Doom. Now we know that Doom is coming to the MCU as he kind of has to if the Fantastic Four exist and everything is building to battleworld as seems to be the hinted destination. Latveria is a nation ruled for vast points in the comics by Doom as a sort of God Emperor/protector somewhat like Black Adam in DC comics, and it is a very important location for the MCU to include. I would guess that Latveria will either appear as a sort of neighbour to Sokovia or perhaps it will be ignored entirely and Sokovia will become a direct stand-in for Latveria, though I don’t think this would be a popular choice.

Our next stop is The Savage Lands, which for those unaware is somewhat of a land time forget in Marvel comics. It has dinosaurs and the people who reside there have a caveman/cave woman sort of dress sense. Famously it is the domain of Ka-Zar, the Tarzan of Marvel comics, and has links to the Eternals. There are rumours that the Thunderbolts film next year may take place, at least partially, there and may introduce this location into the MCU but as for now its dinosaurs remain undiscovered.

Finally there is Arthurian Britain. Yes, I will be the first to admit this is somewhat of a deep cut and I only decided to include it as I am a big fan of Black Knight and Captain Britain. This one is the most obvious and the one that will require the least description as most of you reading this will have seen at least one King Arthur film in your time. Anyway, if the MCU decides to give Dane Whitman’s Black Knight his own spinoff series, as it should, then it may be interested in showing the origins of his sword The Ebony Blade which was forged by Merlin out of a meteorite and was wielded by the original Black Knight from Arthurian legend.

So there we have it four possible Marvel comics locations that may soon be coming to the movies. I hope you have enjoyed reading this second edition of the Comic Readers Guide To The MCU if you have any suggestions for future topics then please get in touch.

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