Slice: Doomed, Delivery Drivers

Slice is a comedy horror film directed by Austin Vesely. The film takes place in a world where supernatural beings are commonplace and no longer out of the ordinary, in this particular town, ghosts have been forced to move off their land and go and live in Ghost Town, their land was then turned into a shopping centre, then a pizza parlour. As our film picks up someone or something is killing the pizza delivery people and the whole town is thrown into a state of fear. Only a ghost and a Werewolf can save the day.

This might as well be a comedy film, there is nothing scary about it. Yes, there are ghosts and witches and what not, but they are handled so calmly that they aren’t scary at all, but that is the point. As a comedy film, this is quite strong, there are a number of good jokes and amusing surprise cameos, it might not have made me laugh all the way throughout, but I was smiling a lot as I watched it.

The thing that is the most commendable about this film is the scope of it, its creativity, and its world. The first 20 minutes of the film are very exposition heavy, a lot of stuff is set up, and through this a very dense very well-crafted fantasy world is created. I would love to see more from this world where a portal to hell can appear under a pizzeria; the world reminded me in a lot of ways of the world of What We Do In The Shadows.

Zazie Beetz is a strong lead, she brings a large amount of style and personality to the role of Astrid and is also convincing as a vigilante in the closing act of the film, but we already know she can play the action hero role well, because of her role in Deadpool 2, she is easily the best actor in the film.

Overall, though it has some issues, this is still a very interesting, imaginative film that will make you laugh.

Pros.

The world.

The cameos.

Zazie Beetz.

Cons.

Most of the characters are forgettable.

It doesn’t leave a huge impact on you.

The second act is a slog.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

We Summon The Darkness: Christianity, Satanism and Heavy Metal Music

We Summon The Darkness is a metal themed horror film directed by Marc Meyers. The plot sees 3 girls head to a rock show, whilst there they meet a group of boys, the girls then proceed to drug them and kill them. They do this to bin blame on Satanists, and create a moral panic sending people into the arms of their hardcore church.

I don’t know if I have seen too many of these sort of horror films or what, but the idea of a few of these guys dying and then the remaining hero picking off the evil religious fanatics one by one, eventually converting one of them and then getting away at the end, just feel cliché to me at this point. This film is nothing new, there are a million other horror films out there will slightly different, but overall the same premise and I for one am bored of them.

This film has one or two neat ideas, the premise is solid and could be done well, however it isn’t. It’s dull. Alexandra Daddario is having fun as Alexis the leader of the female fanatic trio, she is manic and over the top at every turn, which does get slightly grating after a while, but she is clearly trying to get away from her more family friendly image. She is the best performer in the film by a country mile and I applaud her for giving it her all. Sadly the direction and writing just weren’t there.

Moreover, Johnny Knoxville plays Alexis dad Pastor John Henry Butler, so if you wanted a blast for the past watch this film. Good on Knoxville for still trying, he too gives it everything he has and actually manages to shift his normally nice guy persona and be menacing at times. I think the acting of Knoxville and to an extent Daddario show up the rest of the cast and put them to shame a little bit.

Overall, a film with this premise, with Alexandra Daddario and Johnny Knoxville in, shouldn’t have been as boring as this film was.

Pros.

Cool premise.

Daddario.

Knoxville.

Cons.

The execution of the premise is disappointing.

The rest of the acting sucks.

It feels ten a penny.

It is dull/ painfully slow at time.

2/5

Rabid: Beauty Has A Price

Rabid is a horror film directed by The Soska Sisters, based on the 1977 David Cronenberg film of the same name. The plot sees fashion designer wannabe Rose (Laura Vandervoort), get into a grisly car accident. With the very likely future of being disfigured for life, Rose decides to undergo experimental cutting-edge surgery that can supposedly repair her face; it also turns her into a monster with a taste for human flesh, but hey every medical treatment has side effects.

It was a little surreal to watch a film about a viral outbreak, even if it was a different kind of virus; rabies. I have been a huge fan of the Soska Sisters since they started out, they are incredibly talented and remaking Cronenberg is no easy task, however I do believe they manage to not only match the man himself but exceed him in a few ways.

Firstly, and most importantly for a Cronenberg film/ in this case a remake, the body horror. This film is a little light on that, not in a bad way though, because the few times this film does have some quality body horror it is used to great effect. Such as the scene at the end of the film when Rose is trapped in the room with the mad scientists technically, but not really, dead wife, in this scene we get to see the scale of monstrosity we would expect from such a film and it is haunting.

I thought that Vandervoort was exceptional in the lead role, this is due to the fact that you really buy her emotion and her sadness after the crash. The desperation that leads her to undergo risky experimental surgery is real and plain to see. Even when the more malicious side of her comes out later in the film, she is constantly shown fighting against her darker half and is a hero until the end.

My one complaint of the film would be that I would have liked to see the Sisters themselves more, they’re great actors and after recently watching Dead Hooker In The Trunk I would have loved to see them have bigger parts, maybe next time.

Overall, this film easily manages to live up to Cronenberg, which is the highest form of praise a film can get, great horror and very watchable; check it out!

Pros.

Sparing use of body horror.

Laura Vandervoort.

Well written.

It lives up to the original.

Con.

I would have liked to see The Sisters themselves play a larger role.

The ending was a bit too open ended for me.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Porno: The Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands

Porno is a horror comedy film directed by Keola Racela. The plot centres around a group of people who work at a cinema in a small deeply Christian town in America. One evening when the manager of the cinema is out, the group find themselves rummaging around in recently opened ruins beneath their place of work; the ruins of an adult cinema. While they’re there they find a reel of film footage, that they decide to play, however once they do, they find it is full of the devil’s tempting smut and that playing it has also summoned a succubus (Katelyn Pierce).

To me this film was hilariously absurd, the juxtaposition of having these Bible loving teens who think that porn is the work of the devil, having to fight a succubus that is playing off their deepest sexual desires is a genius premise that is guaranteed to make you laugh. The horror of the film mainly comes from how the succubus seems to kill/feed on people, by making their testicles explode, the gore factor here is done tastefully, never once does it become too much to handle.

The nudity is quite gratuitous, whenever the succubus is one screen, she is nude, but I suppose that makes sense. If nudity of both the male and female kind makes you feel uncomfortable then be warned.

The comedy of the film mainly plays out of the absurd nature of the film and just how God fearing these teens are, which makes for a refreshing change to how teens normally are in horror films. I think for sure the balance between comedy and horror here is askew, it is for sure more of a comedy than a horror and the film really isn’t scary in any way.

There are some neat visuals on display here, mainly during the trippy film sequence, that are quite memorable and intense; during this same sequence there is also a lot of flashing lights so watch out for that to.

Overall, this is a solidly entertaining comedy horror film. Very easy to watch, good for a laugh, and some good gore.

Pros.

The premise.

The juxtaposition.

The gore.

The comedy and some of the cool visuals.

Cons.

The nudity is a bit much and could definitely be called gratuitous.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ruin Me: The Slasher Experience

Ruin Me is a horror thriller film directed by Preston DeFrancis. The plot sees a group of people attend a slasher film inspired weekend camping experience, only for the fun and games to become shockingly real; a fight for survival soon begins.

This film is the anti-Found Footage 3D, because it approaches a tired, overstuffed horror sub-genre and actually iterates and does something interesting with it. This film plays off the tropes of slasher films and flips the script; the film constantly wants you to be thinking is this weekend away these people are on real? Or is it something far more sinister? As such, the narrative keeps switching between the two ideas.

This choice paired with the writing is genius because it makes you feel unsafe, in situations that would normally be safe in films, it makes you constantly be on edge and as a mystery it keeps you guessing right up until the end, never being clear; even when it ends. I loved the ending of this film as it showed you a whole other side to the horror that you might not have even considered and the twist works incredibly well. Almost Shyamalan levels.

The lead performance by Marcienne Dwyer is also incredibly, we are trained from the off to distrust her and distrust her narration, but we see as the film goes along that she is not crazy at all, but other characters want her to think she is. Her performance is realistic, as in it takes the form of how a normal person would be in that situation, whilst also feeling earnest and likable; we warm to her over the course of the film. The rest of the cast do quite well with what they’re given, but there can be only one final girl.

Overall, an interesting take on the genre, that offers something truly new.

Pros.

Interesting approach/ premise.

Great lead.

Unreliable narrative.

A loving homage to the genre, while also doing something new.

Cons.

Slightly confusing in parts.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Gretel And Hansel: The Most Polarising Film Of 2020

Gretel and Hansel is a dark fantasy horror film directed by Oz Perkins. It serves as a darker, more in line with the original tale, version of the Brother Grimm’s Hansel and Gretel. The version of the story that this film explores focuses more on a wider surrounding evil, as well as Gretel (Sophia Lillis), coming into her own both as a woman and a witch.

I have mixed feelings about this film, there are some things it does really well, but there are also a lot of things it does wrong. It seems to be proving divisive amongst people online, as such I find it hard to recommend this film, but I also wouldn’t say don’t watch it.

Firstly the good. The film has a beautifully unique visual style, which is both incredibly from a technical point of view and also horrifying and striking. All of the unsettlingly good aspects of this film come from this. Also, the oppressive atmosphere of the film leads it to have some great scares especially late in the game.

However, therein lies the problem with this film. Many criticise the likes of Aster and Eggers for having slow burning horror films, that some would describe as ‘boring’, if you’re one of those people don’t watch this! This film makes Midsommar look snappy and make the Witch look like a romp; I love both of those films by the way. This film is hard to get through, it is slow, and a lot of its scenes drag out, however, unlike other films that unintentionally do this because they are poorly written/paced this film seems to be doing it deliberately.

If you stick with it until the end, you’re given an ending that much like everything else in this film proves polarising. The ending sees Gretel send Hansel (Samuel Leakey), off so she can start her life as a witch, which makes you question her morals, but this idea of others, mainly men, standing in a young woman’s way and needing to be removed is a central tenant of the film.

Lillis’ performance here, much like it was in the recent IT films is passable, but in no way impressive. I found she didn’t bring much to the role and was often out acted, it makes me question why she got the role when there are lots of other arguably, more talented young actors out there.

Overall, this isn’t a good film, this isn’t a bad film, this isn’t an average film, it is simply an incredibly, incredibly niche film.

Pros.

The horror.

The visuals.

The Witch.

Cons.

It is very hard to watch; it seems to want you to give up.

It is not going to be to many people’s taste.

Sophia Lillis is bland.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

A Descent Into Horror And Madness: My Top 5 Shudder Recommendations

Shudder bills itself as the Netflix of horror films, they claim to have something for every kind of horror fan. Their library is made up of some old classics and some original content, there are gems to be found if you know where to look. Fear not dear reader, over the last month (ish), I have been on an odyssey going through Shudders entire back catalogue; only the stuff that interested me though mind. As such, I have written this post to give you some hand-picked recommendations; which hopefully will scratch your horror ich and maybe give you some new horror favourites. In the UK you can get Shudder as an extension to your Amazon account, it will come up as a video channel. I don’t know how you get it elsewhere.

Body At Brighton Rock

This goofy camp thriller soon takes a turn to the dark side. Set in an American national park, a ranger get lost and has to spend the night next to a corpse. There is a lot going on here and the twist at the end is genius. It is absolutely dripping in style and has such a unique voice. The horror with this one comes from the idea of being stranded in the woods alone over night; which in and of itself is a terrifying thought. She also fights a bear briefly so there is that!

Stitches

Stitches is a pitch-black horror comedy about a dead clown who has come back to get his revenge on the group of kids that killed him. This is a rare treat as it is a horror comedy that actually manages to be both scary and funny. Ross Nobel nails the jokes and there are several laugh out loud moments, he is also menacing as hell. Another two reasons this is great is because it creates a fantastically weird mythology for clowns and also because it has some of the best gore, I have ever seen in a horror film.

Dead Hooker In The Trunk

This is the debut film of the Soska Sisters that should be all you need to know. However for those of you who aren’t die hard fans, this film kicks ass because it is a low budget exploitation esque film and knows it. The look of the film is very early Robert Rodriguez, grindhousey and grainy, the sort of film that looks like it was shot on film but wasn’t. The Sisters are standout as the lead characters, but there are also plenty of other memorable characters and moments. It was this film that put them on Eli Roth’s radar.

The Hell House Trilogy

Found footage as a genre is played out, it is very, and I do mean very rare to get a good found footage film, yet the first Hell House LLC is just that. The series is about a hotel that is also a gateway to hell and as you can imagine a lot of ghostly goings on happen in the hotel and different groups of people fall prey to them over the course of the series. Though the second film is a dip in quality for sure, all three of these films are good found footage films and the ending of the third film may be the best ending to a series I have ever seen, no spoilers here though.

Monster Party/Killer Party

This dark comedy film is about a group of thieves that break into a house to find a meeting of recovering murders going on. It is worth a watch for that premise alone, however what follows is a tense well-acted masterclass in suspense. What’s more it has Lance Reddick in, and that man can do no wrong, he is great as a crazed cult leader. This film is manic and maddening in the best way.

Bonus Recommendations

Mayhem is a great film, with a terrific sense of angry energy and one hell of a performance by Samara Weaving, if you like The Babysitter and Ready Or Not you will love this.

Also The Midnight Swim is superb and one of the most unsettling films I have ever seen, to say more would ruin it.

I have full spoiler reviews of all of these films up on the site, so check them out to after you have watched them, or before if you’re not bothered about spoilers; either way.

I hope you enjoy these films as much as I did, happy viewing!

Written by Luke

Blair Witch 2: A Trip To The Woods

Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows is a horror fantasy film directed by Joe Berlinger. The film serves as sort of sequel to the original, but many view it as a standalone project. The plot sees a group of people go to the ‘real life’ filming locations of the first film and surprise, surprise things go wrong, and it turns out the Blair Witch is real.

This film is part found footage, part mockumentary. This film is often unfairly compared to the first film in a hugely unfavourably way. Sure, is it a bad sequel? Yes. It is even a sequel? Only in a lose sense. Was this film riddled with behind the scenes issues? Yes, hell the director of the sequel wanted nothing to do with it and said his vison of the film was not what was made. However is it a bad film? No.

There is some enjoyment to be had here. This is an early 2000’s film in every sense of the word, it opens with a Marilyn Manson song of course because what is more noughties horror than that. It is goofy and weird, and the CGI is bad, but that is part of the fun.

It depends on the sort of horror fan you’re, if you like a horror film to be scary and all of that then this sucks, it is not scary, there is no atmosphere, the scares are obvious and boring. However, if you’re the sort of horror fan that also enjoys bad horror films, I’m taking about things like Killer Clowns From Outer Space, then this is great; I found myself laughing far more than anything else.

Overall, as a horror film, divorcing it from the first film, this film is a failure, but it is also so bad it is good. There are a lot of unintentional laughs to be had here and some goofy hockie genre fun, so it depends what you want.

Pros.

It is hilarious.

Cons.

It is not scary.

It feels like a mishmash.

It doesn’t work as a sequel.

It makes no sense.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bliss: The Trip Of A Lifetime

Bliss is a horror mystery film directed by Joe Begos. The plot follows struggling artist Dezzy (Dora Madison), who begins to slip into a world of horrors after sampling the drug Bliss. Dezzy has days of blackouts only awaking to find herself covered in blood, with more and more of her friends going missing, and her painting becoming more and more complete.

This is a hell of a film. It is one of the trippiest films I have ever seen, and I works so well because you’re never quite aware of what is going on, nothing is spelt out to you here, there are so many levels to this film and things to be considered. Even long after watching it and sitting down to write out my thoughts, I find new thoughts coming into my head, being like oh I wonder if this was this, or that meant that. The ambiguous ending of the film only adds to it.

I also love the slow burning intensity this film has, things don’t just go from 0 to 100 as they do in some other horror films, even the good ones, but rather the descent begins softly and then becomes more and more of a freefall as the film progresses. You feel the sense of confusion and peril Dezzy is in, as she doesn’t realise what is happening to her, it is palpable.

My one complaint would be with the amount of nudity in the film, I understand that the director was clearly going for a very primal feel, but Dezzy spends more of the film nude than dressed and it reaches a point where it feels gratuitous. A lot of the time I don’t understand the reason for it either, the same scene could be staged without her being in the shower, maybe it was done push boundaries, maybe to be pervy; we can only speculate.

Overall, this is a great film, truly unique and beautifully designed. A good watch, however there is too much nudity which can be a bit uncomfortable.

Pros.

Stunning visuals.

Ambiguous story telling.

Great building sense of tension.

Good performances.

Cons.

Gratuitous nudity.

4.5/5

Pontypool: Ghosts Of The Radio

Pontypool is a Canadian horror film directed by Bruce McDonald. The plot follows a local radio crew in the midst of a language-based pandemic. Said virus effects English speakers making them slowly lose their minds and become transfixed on killing themselves and others, the pathogen seems to be triggered by repeat use of language and the perceived meaning of words.

I have to hand it to this film it is one of the most original zombie esque films I have ever seen, the premise which is based on the novel by Tony Burgess, Pontypool Changes Everything, is truly original and novel and for that I applaud them. I have never seen another film quite like this, the only other film that I can draw a slight if inaccurate comparison to is Arrival and that is souly because language is of huge importance in that film.

However, I think based on how the film executes its premise that it would be better suited to a short film: because though learning about what is going on and the virus is cool and interesting it just isn’t enough to sustain an hour and a half film. As such a lot of the other stuff such as the conflict between Grant (Stephen McHattie), and his producer in the beginning it all just feels like filler, it feels as though it has been written in to pad out the run time, because it adds nothing, the film doesn’t really get going until the virus stuff starts.

That I think is the key issue with this film, though it is novel and original, there just isn’t enough there to keep you entertained for an hour and a half. As the film was midway through, I was really starting to lose interest and yes, the break threw at the end and the bizarre post credits scene does something to pull me back, but it doesn’t really make you check back in.

Overall, though it is original and interesting it still falls down in the middle and becomes a slog that is hard to finish and honestly if I was reviewing it, I probably would have turned it off here, full of promise, but not fun to watch.

Pros.

The premise is cool.

It is truly unique.

Cons.

It is hard to get through.

There is not enough cool stuff to sustain the runtime.

After a point it becomes boring.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke