Brahms The Boy 2: Are Haunted Doll Movies Dead?

Brahms The Boy 2 is a horror film directed by William Brent Bell; it is a sequel to the 2016 film The Boy. Revolving around a family that, after a home invasion, moves to the British countryside to try and regain a sense of normality. However, they move in a stone’s throw away from The Hillshire Estate, which has one special prosocline resident that quickly becomes obsessed with the new family.

Please let this ‘franchise’ end here, there was no need for this film and my god there is certainly no need or reason for a third film. This film spends its hour and a half runtime tearing apart and ruining everything interesting from the first film and replacing it with haunted doll clichés. The first film earned my praise when they revealed that no nothing paranormal was going on, instead it was a killer in the walls.

However, this is how the second film continues that reveal, the Braham’s in the wall is just never mentioned again, and the doll is revealed to be evil or possessed or something. So, they go from a smart twist to a wannbe Annabelle film; what a waste. Rather than be a sequel that fits with the first, this feels incredibly at odds from the beginning.

The acting is nothing special either, Katie Holmes fills the Lauren Cohen role from the first film and is hugely outperformed by Cohen. The only difference between Holmes’ character and Cohen’s is that Holmes is a mother that has to worry about her disturbed kid. You would think this extra character dimension would allow for a more emotive performance, but no Holmes’s expression doesn’t change once over the course of the film, other than to occasionally shout, clearly this was just a paycheck role for her.

The kid is annoying right from the beginning and doesn’t get better, however, as I have said before I am not going to call out a child star for being bad at acting, it is low hanging fruit.

The only good thing about this film is the performance by Ralph Ineson who plays the groundskeeper who is secretly under the control of Brahms. Ineson seems to be the only person in this film that cares about giving a good performance and you can tell he is trying; he deserves better than this.

Overall, this film wasn’t as terribly bad as I thought it was going to be, that is as much praise as I can afford it. It is lazy, the cast other than Ineson don’t care, and it ruins the first film entirely.

Pros.

It is not terrible.

Ralph Ineson.

Cons,

It is lazy.

Clearly no one cares.

It ruins the first film.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Blackcoats Daughter: The Best Episode Of Sabrina Ever

The Blackcoats Daughter is a psychological horror film directed by Osgood Perkins. The plot is split into three separate narratives, one for each character, that culminate together in the final act. It tells the story of two girls who are left behind at their Catholic boarding school over break. Things quickly become sinister when it becomes clear that one of the girls is in league with a demon; a bloodbath ensues.

When I first saw this film the other night, I didn’t know what I thought of it, a few days later as I am writing this review I still don’t. This seems to be a recurring theme of Perkins work; it is incredibly polarising.

On the one hand it is incredibly drawn out, to the point of feeling indulgent or as though it is trying to kill time, at points and the split narrative can be confusing even after you have seen it; as there are a lot of little details that are easy to miss, I recommend if you are going to watch this film to watch it twice.

However, when you do start to pick up on the little details and things it becomes far more engaging and far creepier to. In fact I thought this film was genuinely quite scary and it made me jump, more than I have done in a long time, at one point in the film. I think the horror in this film comes as a result of figuring out what is really going on and how everything fits together.

Another to praise in this film is the performance of Kiernan Shipka as Katherine, the main girl and the one who is in league with the forces of evil. Up until watching this I was convinced she couldn’t act, her performance in the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is painfully bad, though now I think that this might have been bad writing, because here she was fantastic. Shipka plays evil and creepy so well, she is really quite menacing in this film and puts the performances of everyone else to shame; this film will serve as a testament to her acting forever more.

Overall, certainly not a film for everyone, but if you like slow burning horror then you will find something to like here.

Pros.

A great twist.

Shipka.

Creepy and unsettling.

Well done.

Cons.

Slow and confusing at points has to be watched twice to fully appreciate.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Tusk: I Am The Walrus

Tusk is a horror comedy film directed by Kevin Smith. The plot sees internet famous podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long), go to Canada in search of a weird story for his podcast, there he meets Howard Howe (Michael Parks), a man who is obsessed with bring his dead best friend Mr Tusk (a walrus), back to life. What follows is an increasingly menacing situation as Howe tries to turn Bryton into a human walrus hybrid.

This film marks the start of Smith’s True North trilogy, (which as of the time of writing only has Yoga Hosers as the other film in the trilogy), however unlike Hosers, this film is tonally a mess. Yoga Hosers was a comedy from the get-go, it didn’t take itself seriously and was slightly serious at times. Tusk, however, has moments when it tries to be serious and dark and moments that are comedic and over the top, these two parts of the film don’t mesh together and feel at odds with one another. It seems to be as though Smith couldn’t make his mind up over how he wanted the tone of this film to be.

The performances in this film are a mixed bag, one the one hand you have Parks who plays the crazed walrus fanatic superbly; he is menacing and threatening whenever he is on screen. However, Long is not a convincing hero, his Wallace is deeply unlikable (before you even find out how bad he is towards his girlfriend), from the moment he opens his mouth he is irritating. As a result of this you end up wanting him to suffer and be turned into a walrus as it seems a fitting punishment.

Johnny Depp as disgraced detective Lapointe is easily the best thing about this film and much like in Hosers has all the best lines. He is the only character you will remember once the credits role.

Overall, this is a weak start to Smith’s trilogy as it is tonally inconsistent and Long is loathsome. However Parks and Depp make up for it. A very so-so film.

Pros.

Depp

Parks

It is an interesting idea.

Cons.

Tonally inconsistencies.

Long.

The end.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Fantasy Island: Lucy Hale Redeemed?

Fantasy Island is a fantasy horror film directed by Jeff Wadlow. The plot sees a group of people go to an island which can supposedly make their greatest desires come to life, whether that is to settle down and have the life they always wanted, or to punish a high school bully. Surprisingly once people start getting what they want, things start going badly wrong; the island is far more sinister than it first appeared.

Before I put this film on I had incredibly low expectations, I had heard nothing but bad things about this film and was expecting the worst, however I was pleasantly surprised by this film. It wasn’t the best horror film I have ever seen, or the scariest, but it is a very interesting concept and it is surprisingly well executed.

The main red flag for me was the fact that Lucy Hale has a main role in this film, Hale for those of you that don’t know has been in such great films as Truth Or Dare and Fear Island, and for some unknown reason Blumhouse keep putting her in films even though she is terrible. She is one of the worst, least convincing actors working today, her acting ability is a joke. However, she is passably okay in this film. The twist ending when it is revealed that she is the evil force behind it all is well done, she is believable as someone who has been hung up over one thing her whole life and has become insane.

Even though she is passable in this film, her sub-par acting is highlighted by good performance given by Maggie Q and Michael Pena. Both are great, especially Pena, he plays the calculating evil mastermind well and he also plays the hero well. He manages to have the most charisma in the film easily. When the film ends, he is the only character you want to see more of.

Overall, this film is better than it has any right to be, and the film itself is intriguing and raises some great questions.

Pros.

A good premise.

Interesting questions.

Lucy Hale is actually okay.

Maggie Q and Michael Pena are good.

Cons.

It is not scary in any way.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Starry Eyes: What Is The Price Of Fame?

Starry Eyes is a horror drama film directed by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer. The plot follows Sarah (Alex Essoe), a young actress who is presented with her big break, but in order to get it she must cross a line. The line transcends morals and decency, and instead leads straight to evil. Is sell her soul worth a life of fame and fortune?

This film is brutal, it pulls no punches at all, it shows the deeply out of whack power dynamic of Hollywood and the casting process; showing the depths of human depravity. It touches close to home in our modern climate as Sarah is asked to strip naked for the role and later, she is asked to perform sexual favours for it. However, it does not stop there, though that is already horrific, the movie executive force Sarah to give up her humanity and be demonically reborn.

Taking the supernatural elements out for a second, this film is an incredibly frightening social commentary on the film industry, the message of the film is a pertinent and relevant one and one that bares further reflection.

Essoe is great in the lead role, we really buy her mental and physical breakdown over the course of the movie. The hairpulling scenes are especially tragic and really help to highlight the characters desperation, showing just how much of a victim she is in all of this. The character was easy to warm to and was easily empathetic throughout.

My one critique of the film is that in parts it is slow. It is only on for slightly over an hour and a half; however it feels much longer, proof of pacing problems. The first and third, third of the film is fine, it is just the second act that is slow.

Overall, a frightening film for a number of reasons and one that I believe should be watched as it has a very timely message for all of us.

Pros.

The scares.

The subtext/ social commentary.

Alex Essoe.

The ending.

Cons.

The second act drags and is hard to watch.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Droving: A True Sequel To The Wickerman

The Droving is a thriller horror film directed by George Popov. The plot sees Martin (Daniel Oldroyd), return from a tour of duty to find that his sister has gone missing in a remote community. He then sets out to find out what has happened to her and find those responsible. Descending further and further into a world of violence and death.

This is a superb horror film, it reminded me in a lot of ways of the Wickerman it has a very Wheatly esque folk horror vibe to it. There is something about these sorts of films that remind you just because Britain has developed over the years, there are still wild parts scattered here and there. There is a deep sense of isolation and tradition in these places and that is scary in and off itself.

There are plenty of twists and turns throughout this film, all of which are really good and add to the overall scope of the mystery. The ending especially did this, when we see that the folk traditions that have underpinned this whole story are in fact all true, and the ending sees Martin fall under the influence of the evil.

The performances are also fantastic, Oldroyd has such a great presence throughout the film. His Martin goes from zero to one hundred in under a second and it makes all of the scenes incredible tense. I love the unpredictable temperament his character has, and it seems so realistic for someone who would be in that situation. Someone who is doing everything they can to save someone they love, but also further sliding into the dark.

The atmosphere in this film is also great, it is menacing and oppressive, it feels like the character we are following is alone in a hostile world, where supernatural things happen and are real, this leads to a lot of good scares and terrifying moments.

Overall, this is a terrific film, it feels almost like a spiritual sequel to the Wickerman, the performances are great, and the ending sets up a lot of very interesting questions for future sequels, which I really hope they make.

Pros.

Great atmosphere.

A terrific lead.

The ending.

Fantastic scares.

The twists and turns.

Cons.

It becomes repetitive after a while.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Slice: Doomed, Delivery Drivers

Slice is a comedy horror film directed by Austin Vesely. The film takes place in a world where supernatural beings are commonplace and no longer out of the ordinary, in this particular town, ghosts have been forced to move off their land and go and live in Ghost Town, their land was then turned into a shopping centre, then a pizza parlour. As our film picks up someone or something is killing the pizza delivery people and the whole town is thrown into a state of fear. Only a ghost and a Werewolf can save the day.

This might as well be a comedy film, there is nothing scary about it. Yes, there are ghosts and witches and what not, but they are handled so calmly that they aren’t scary at all, but that is the point. As a comedy film, this is quite strong, there are a number of good jokes and amusing surprise cameos, it might not have made me laugh all the way throughout, but I was smiling a lot as I watched it.

The thing that is the most commendable about this film is the scope of it, its creativity, and its world. The first 20 minutes of the film are very exposition heavy, a lot of stuff is set up, and through this a very dense very well-crafted fantasy world is created. I would love to see more from this world where a portal to hell can appear under a pizzeria; the world reminded me in a lot of ways of the world of What We Do In The Shadows.

Zazie Beetz is a strong lead, she brings a large amount of style and personality to the role of Astrid and is also convincing as a vigilante in the closing act of the film, but we already know she can play the action hero role well, because of her role in Deadpool 2, she is easily the best actor in the film.

Overall, though it has some issues, this is still a very interesting, imaginative film that will make you laugh.

Pros.

The world.

The cameos.

Zazie Beetz.

Cons.

Most of the characters are forgettable.

It doesn’t leave a huge impact on you.

The second act is a slog.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

We Summon The Darkness: Christianity, Satanism and Heavy Metal Music

We Summon The Darkness is a metal themed horror film directed by Marc Meyers. The plot sees 3 girls head to a rock show, whilst there they meet a group of boys, the girls then proceed to drug them and kill them. They do this to bin blame on Satanists, and create a moral panic sending people into the arms of their hardcore church.

I don’t know if I have seen too many of these sort of horror films or what, but the idea of a few of these guys dying and then the remaining hero picking off the evil religious fanatics one by one, eventually converting one of them and then getting away at the end, just feel cliché to me at this point. This film is nothing new, there are a million other horror films out there will slightly different, but overall the same premise and I for one am bored of them.

This film has one or two neat ideas, the premise is solid and could be done well, however it isn’t. It’s dull. Alexandra Daddario is having fun as Alexis the leader of the female fanatic trio, she is manic and over the top at every turn, which does get slightly grating after a while, but she is clearly trying to get away from her more family friendly image. She is the best performer in the film by a country mile and I applaud her for giving it her all. Sadly the direction and writing just weren’t there.

Moreover, Johnny Knoxville plays Alexis dad Pastor John Henry Butler, so if you wanted a blast for the past watch this film. Good on Knoxville for still trying, he too gives it everything he has and actually manages to shift his normally nice guy persona and be menacing at times. I think the acting of Knoxville and to an extent Daddario show up the rest of the cast and put them to shame a little bit.

Overall, a film with this premise, with Alexandra Daddario and Johnny Knoxville in, shouldn’t have been as boring as this film was.

Pros.

Cool premise.

Daddario.

Knoxville.

Cons.

The execution of the premise is disappointing.

The rest of the acting sucks.

It feels ten a penny.

It is dull/ painfully slow at time.

2/5

Rabid: Beauty Has A Price

Rabid is a horror film directed by The Soska Sisters, based on the 1977 David Cronenberg film of the same name. The plot sees fashion designer wannabe Rose (Laura Vandervoort), get into a grisly car accident. With the very likely future of being disfigured for life, Rose decides to undergo experimental cutting-edge surgery that can supposedly repair her face; it also turns her into a monster with a taste for human flesh, but hey every medical treatment has side effects.

It was a little surreal to watch a film about a viral outbreak, even if it was a different kind of virus; rabies. I have been a huge fan of the Soska Sisters since they started out, they are incredibly talented and remaking Cronenberg is no easy task, however I do believe they manage to not only match the man himself but exceed him in a few ways.

Firstly, and most importantly for a Cronenberg film/ in this case a remake, the body horror. This film is a little light on that, not in a bad way though, because the few times this film does have some quality body horror it is used to great effect. Such as the scene at the end of the film when Rose is trapped in the room with the mad scientists technically, but not really, dead wife, in this scene we get to see the scale of monstrosity we would expect from such a film and it is haunting.

I thought that Vandervoort was exceptional in the lead role, this is due to the fact that you really buy her emotion and her sadness after the crash. The desperation that leads her to undergo risky experimental surgery is real and plain to see. Even when the more malicious side of her comes out later in the film, she is constantly shown fighting against her darker half and is a hero until the end.

My one complaint of the film would be that I would have liked to see the Sisters themselves more, they’re great actors and after recently watching Dead Hooker In The Trunk I would have loved to see them have bigger parts, maybe next time.

Overall, this film easily manages to live up to Cronenberg, which is the highest form of praise a film can get, great horror and very watchable; check it out!

Pros.

Sparing use of body horror.

Laura Vandervoort.

Well written.

It lives up to the original.

Con.

I would have liked to see The Sisters themselves play a larger role.

The ending was a bit too open ended for me.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Porno: The Devil Finds Work For Idle Hands

Porno is a horror comedy film directed by Keola Racela. The plot centres around a group of people who work at a cinema in a small deeply Christian town in America. One evening when the manager of the cinema is out, the group find themselves rummaging around in recently opened ruins beneath their place of work; the ruins of an adult cinema. While they’re there they find a reel of film footage, that they decide to play, however once they do, they find it is full of the devil’s tempting smut and that playing it has also summoned a succubus (Katelyn Pierce).

To me this film was hilariously absurd, the juxtaposition of having these Bible loving teens who think that porn is the work of the devil, having to fight a succubus that is playing off their deepest sexual desires is a genius premise that is guaranteed to make you laugh. The horror of the film mainly comes from how the succubus seems to kill/feed on people, by making their testicles explode, the gore factor here is done tastefully, never once does it become too much to handle.

The nudity is quite gratuitous, whenever the succubus is one screen, she is nude, but I suppose that makes sense. If nudity of both the male and female kind makes you feel uncomfortable then be warned.

The comedy of the film mainly plays out of the absurd nature of the film and just how God fearing these teens are, which makes for a refreshing change to how teens normally are in horror films. I think for sure the balance between comedy and horror here is askew, it is for sure more of a comedy than a horror and the film really isn’t scary in any way.

There are some neat visuals on display here, mainly during the trippy film sequence, that are quite memorable and intense; during this same sequence there is also a lot of flashing lights so watch out for that to.

Overall, this is a solidly entertaining comedy horror film. Very easy to watch, good for a laugh, and some good gore.

Pros.

The premise.

The juxtaposition.

The gore.

The comedy and some of the cool visuals.

Cons.

The nudity is a bit much and could definitely be called gratuitous.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke