The Ring Two: Samara Gave Up And Decided To Phone It In

The Ring Two is a horror film directed by Hideo Nakata. The plot sees Rachel (Naomi Watts) survivor of the first movie and her son Aidan (David Dorfman), once again become under attack by evil video tape girl Samara. This time she want to possess a human host.

I feel like this film undoes a lot of what made the first film so good. It fundamentally changes the mythology of the series changing it from the iconic ‘you will die in seven days’ to a bog-standard possession film, albeit it with a little more mystery involved.

Moreover we don’t see near as much of Samara as we did in the first film, which is disappointing because her physicality and her appearance are part of what makes that film so scary. Instead we get cheap predictable scares and fake outs which ultimate fail to be scary. That for me is the fundamental issue with this film, it just isn’t scary.

Watts is trying her best, but it is not enough to save this film from itself. It is a shame that the creator of Ringu the Japanese film that would go on to inspire the American Remake was at the helm for this as this must surely have left him disheartened.

Overall this film fails to leave an impression and is in no way scary.

Pros

It has good atmosphere

Naomie Watts is trying

Cons.

It is not scary

It ruins the mythology of the first film

The scares are bog standard and predictable

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Underwater: The Threat Came From Beneath The Waves

Underwater is a science fiction film directed William Eubank. The plot sees an underwater research centre become under attack by a strange unknown type of sea life.

I go back and forth on Kristen Stewart as an actress, sometimes I think she is good and worthy of all the praise she gets; other times I think she struggles with even basic emoting and can’t convince me of anything. However, I will give her praise here, she commands this film, her performance is striking and in some ways very reminiscent of Sigourney Weaver in Alien. This film would be far less good without Stewart in it.

Despite, feeling a little too overly familiar this film managed to keep me engaged throughout. It used the environment and tension to great effect and had a few great sequences that will stuck in my mind long after the film has ended. My one critique in this regard is the way some of these high-tension kinetic scenes are shot. The cinematography of these scenes makes them hard to see; which therefore makes it hard to tell what is going on. An example of my point is midway through the film one of the team is pulled out of their suit, but you don’t realise that you just see a lot of blood, you don’t realise what happened until one of the characters tells you. That is a big problem in my book.

Also T.J Miller is in this and he is every bit as grating as you are imagining. Horror/ dark science fiction films don’t need comedic relief.

Overall, a solid disaster film boosted tremendously by a great performance by Kristen Stewart.

Pros.

Stewart

The tension

Keeping me engaged in a played-out idea

Cons.

The characters outside of Stewart’s lead are one note

It is hard to tell what is going on

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Let Me In: Fresh Blood

Let Me In is a horror film directed by Matt Reeves. The plot follows a young abused boy Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee), who befriends a reclusive neighbour girl Abby (Chole Grace-Moretz). The two form a bond, and then it is revealed she is a vampire. It is an American remake of the Swedish film Let The Right One In.

I think this film is genuinely quite creepy and well done. Vampire films have been done to death, so they need to be novel and inventive to stick out to me and this did. Yes, there are some elements of it that seem a little familiar, but the idea of a vampire who is trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl falling in love with a 12 year of boy who then becomes her familiar is something I have never seen before. It is horror romance done right, take notes Twilight.

There are some pretty gnarly scenes and some of the gore is wince inducing, that is a pro in my book. The scenes where we see Abby hunting and killing are also well done and Moretz does a hell of a job making us scared of a tween.

My one complaint would be that the runtime was too long and that at almost two hours the film feels oppressive, there is no reason this couldn’t have been an hour and a half. Films need to be tighter.

Overall, a great vampire film that proves that there is still fresh blood in the subgenre

Pros.

Moretz

The gore

A unique spin on the genre

An intriguing ending

Cons.

It is way too long

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Love Witch: Finding Love The Witchy Way

The Love Witch is a horror comedy film directed by Anna Biller. The plot sees witch Elaine (Samantha Robinson), set out to find the man of her dreams, someone who will love her as much as she loves them as well as live up to her criteria of what makes a perfect man. Sadly, the American dating scene does not live up to her expectations.

So, this one was a mixed bag for me, I enjoyed the style of it, mimicking horrors of the 60’s and 70’s and applaud it for being as out there and strange as it ended up being. However, it is not without its problems some of which really harm the film overall and stop it from reaching good film placement.

One of my main issues was how repetitive the film became after a while. It was the same thing over and over again, Elaine meets a dude, she does a weird strip show for them, she slept with them and then she killed them and on and on the cycle goes. This quickly made the film tiresome, the only reprieve from this monotony was the final act which I actually enjoyed. It was by far the most out there part of the film and had heavy Wicker Man vibes.

My other key issue with the film was the nudity, I understand Elaine’s character is all about sex magic, but she spends most of the film in a state of undress. It gets to the point where you question the need for it, I am no prude or puritan, but it almost felt like this film was a softcore porn film at times. The nudity or half nakedness also became repetitive and boring after a while.

Overall, this film has a great sense of style and a very interesting premise, but the writing ruins the film. By being incredibly repetitive you lose any interest in the film or it’s characters and a strong third act can’t change that.

Pros.

The style and the visuals

Trying to be different

Cons.

The needless nudity and half nakedness

The repetitive story structure

Immense pacing issues

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Becky: The Annabelle Spin-off We Needed

Becky is a horror thriller film directed by Johnathan Milott and Cary Murnion. The plot sees a young girl Becky (Lulu Wilson), forced to become a killer when a group of white supremacist break into her home and kill her father. They’re searching for a key and she is searching for vengeance.

I have seen a lot of these sort of films, home invasions that then become a fight for survival and for the most part the genre has become stale and played out, that said I thought this film was excellent.

To get the big question out of the way first, is this the film that establishes Kevin James as a horror player, in the same way Get Out did for Jordan Peele? No, no its not. James is good as for the most part manages to be convincing, but there are moments throughout when he slips and the more comedic side of him comes out; this is almost certainly unintentional, but it happens fairly regularly. He is only menacing about 60% of the time.

However, this film is made amazing by the performance of Lulu Wilson. I am convinced that is film will be Lulu Wilson’s big breakout hit. She sells the emotion really well, but she shines when she is playing animalistic rage slaughtering men twice her size. She plays a girl possessed really well. Her character is so good that I would gladly watch a sequel with her character, to see where she goes, but really just to watch her rip some more people apart.

Overall, this film does the impossible and proves that there is still some life left in the home invasion sub-genre. Lulu Wilson is incredible and if this film is any indication is on track for big things. It’s a shame James can’t maintain a serious performance for the entirety, but it is still a must watch.

Pros.

Lulu Wilson.

The tension.

The kills.

The ending actually makes you want a sequel.

Cons.

Kevin James can’t keep serious.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Zombeaver: Creepy and Gross

Zombeaver is a creature feature film directed by Jordan Rubin. The plot sees a group of scantily clad teens head off to a lakeside cabin after one of them breaks up with their boyfriend. Their weekend is interrupted by a pack of murderous zombie beavers that seems hell bent on killing them all.

This film is gratuitous for all the wrong reasons, that is my one-line summary of this film.

Before I get into the thousand and one reasons why this film is trash, I want to talk about the one scene that I enjoyed. One of the very first scenes is a conversation between the girls and their landlady for the weekend, said landlady played by Phyllis Catz had me in stiches. She was the best part of this film.

Yes, it truly did peak at the 10-minute mark everything after there went straight down the toilet. So first off the bat the nudity is excessive, even for a film like this, it goes beyond the point of awkward and cringe and borders the tasteless.

Secondly, the main girl (the one who is cheated on), is vilified by the other characters and all of them seem to hate her by the end of the film. Also the cheater and the person he cheated with are also pushed as the real heroes of the film in a move that is simply baffling. All of the characters are firmly unlikable.

Overall, this is trash, its not even dumb fun it is just mean spirted, voyeuristic and soulless. You might have noticed I didn’t name the characters for the most part, that is because they’re so underdeveloped I couldn’t remember any of their names.

Pros.

That one funny scene with the landlady.

Cons.

Twisted morals.

Needless Nudity.

Stereotypes and other harmful clichés

It couldn’t make killer beavers fun.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hotel Transylvania: Adam Sandler Hits You In The Feels

Hotel Transylvania is an animated family film directed by Genndy Tartakovsky. The plot sees Dracula (Adam Sandler), hide away from the world after the death of his wife. He raises his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez), from the safety of his monsters only hotel and everything seems to be working out; that is until one day a human arrives.

Not to begin on too much of an animation rant, but I think when talking about western animation Sony Animation is often treated as the bastard stepchild no one wants around, yes, they have made some stinkers, but I have often found myself enjoying some of their movies. This is one of those times.In short, I don’t think they deserve the hate they get.

Yes, this film suffers from some of the same issues a lot of Sony’s other animated offerings have such as an overreliance on pop songs and flat fart jokes, but what lifts this film up for me is its heart. Say what you will about Adam Sandler he is always very easy to root for and that is incredibly true here. His relationship with his daughter and his arc about learning to trust humans again hit you in the feels in much the same way as some of Pixar’s greatest emotional beats.

I think this film is a lot of fun and very easy to turn your brain off and enjoy, I think the paring of Sandler and Andy Samberg (who plays the human Jonathan), is genius as the two have a great repour in this film; you can also see what I am talking about if you watch That’s My Boy. The two are a great comedic pairing.

Overall, this is a very nice easy to watch film that has a lot of heart and a few laughs here and there, I can’t help feeling like if this was made my Pixar or DreamWorks that it would have gotten more fanfare, but hey it is still an excellent film with plenty of charm.

Pros.

Sandler and Samberg

The right amount of heart

Genndy Tartakovsky

Cons.

The fart jokes don’t work for me

The cringy pop songs

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Taking Of Deborah Logan

The Taking Of Deborah Logan is a found footage horror film directed by Adam Robitel. The plot sees an elderly woman with Alzheimer’s become possessed by an evil malevolent presence. Of course, there is a student there with a film crew recording the whole thing because she is doing a thesis about the disease. I don’t know, but she is there.

Let’s get one thing nice and clear right off the bat, this film had no reason to be a found footage film, did it add anything? No. Did the constant shaky cam and cuts to black make the film any scarier? No. If anything the use of found footage derailed this film and ultimately killed it; the final sequence boils down to the same thing you have seen a thousand times before shaky cam running down a dark hallway where everything is hard to see and there is a constant screaming that makes you want to say “shut up”. It is aggressively average.

What makes this sad is the potential the film had. Mental illness, especially the sort of ones that feature in this film, bring a special type of very real fear with them. The film could have played with the idea of is she possessed, or is her mental state getting worse rapidly, that would have been interesting. No, the film just decides yeah lets go for the predictable boring demon angle and it flushes all the potential it had down the toilet.

Overall, this is nothing new. There is promise in the first twenty to thirty minutes, but the rest of the film promptly ruins that. From a filmmaking point of view this film points out to be all the issues with found footage films and the genre as a whole; barely seeing something for half a second isn’t scary. The found footage genre is dead.

Pros.

It has promise

Cons.

It ruins said promise

The storyline is played out

The found footage filming style is grating

The third act is barely watchable

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Extra Ordinary: Meal For One?

Extra Ordinary is an Irish horror comedy film directed by Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman. The plot sees reluctant medium Rose (Maeve Higgins), forced back into the game when Satanists steal a virgin to sacrifice to their dark lord. She must believe in her gifts once again and stop the growing evil.

I actually thought this was rather good, the comedy didn’t always hit the mark for me, but it did make me laugh several times and when it didn’t, I still had a smile on my face. I was surprised to see Will Forte pop up, I was unaware of who was in it when I put it on, but he played a failed musician turned master of the darks arts with a real sense of flare that I enjoyed, he was delightfully over the top.

Moreover the dynamic between Forte’s Christian and his wife Claudia (Claudia O’ Doherty), was priceless. They had a really great back and forth and the chemistry between the two of them was palpable for all to see. O’ Doherty has been popping up in some really heart stuff recently and is really making a name for herself as a comedic actor; she practically stole the show in The Festival.

My one complaint would be the lead, while Rose is likeable enough, I found her to be a bit too bumbling, a bit too awkward, it felt forced and I didn’t really buy it. I also thought that her jokes were by far the weakest, as a lead she was a disappointment.

Overall, a subpar lead doesn’t slow this film down much as it has enough laughs and charm to keep you happy and satiated until the end.

Pros.

The comedy

The world/ the world building

Forte.

Claudia O’ Doherty

Cons.

An unpolished lead.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Addams Family 2019: The Horrors Of Animation

The Addams Family (2019), is a computer animated family film directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon, inspired by the classic cartoon. The plot sees the Addams Family having to adapt to life in the 21^st century, whilst still keeping their old-world traditions alive as they become the target of a home renovator and her suburban horde.

When I put this on, I was expecting the worst, I was expecting a film that fundamentally didn’t understand the characters and in the process of making them appeal to a modern market ruined what made the franchise special. I was expecting another Scoob, yes that’s right I am still not over it, however, while this is far from good it is not terrible either.

The two positives I’ll give it are that the villain of the film Margaux Needler (Alison Janney), is incredibly hateable and that Oscar Isaac does a good job voicing Gomez; that’s it. Even these compliments highlight the issues with the film.

Janney’s Margaux is hateable because she is irritating and constantly in your face. Is that the reason your villain should be hated, surely it should be because of their evil actions? Furthermore, the only reason Isaacs’ vocal performance draws any praise is because of how bad the rest of the cast are. Each member of the Addams Family sounds wrong, especially Nick Kroll doing the same voice as one of his Big Mouth characters.

Moreover the animation is not easy on the eye, rather it is horrible to look at and is frequently off putting, not because it is showing you anything grotesque, but because of the way the characters look and the way they move. If you like quality animation this is not the film for you.

Overall, while this film is not offensively bad, it does nothing to resurrect the Addams brand and instead feels like a very blatant attempt to force an old franchise back into the public eye with very poor results. Next time hire a better cast and animators.

Pros.

Isaac

A hateable villain.

Cons.

Miscast.

Hateable for the wrong reasons.

Poor cheap looking animation.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke