Language Lessons: A Friend When You Need One The Most

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Adam, played by Mark Duplass, begins taking Spanish lessons after his husband Will, played by Desean Terry, gets them for him as a gift. Little does he know they will become a vital part of his life.

I went into this thinking it was going to be a quirky off beat comedy, as that is Duplass’s usual fare, however whilst that is a true assessment in part there is also a lot more going on beneath the surface with this film and it almost morphs into a character drama as it continues.

The film focuses on the relationship between Adam and Carino, played by Natalie Morales, his Spanish teacher. After the death of Adam’s Husband early in the film things shift dramatically, and though there are still comedic moments it becomes far more serious. However, I enjoyed that the film did not become dower at this point, and that there was still fun to be had.

Both Morales and Duplass give it there all here and though most of the film is just them talking into the camera, as the film is set over a series of online calls, each give powerhouse performances. The film really makes us the audience question our preconceived notions, and is not afraid to head into dark and possibly uncomfortable territory. There is a lot in this film that is implied but not shown, mentioned but not dwelled on, and in that aspect I find this film captures life.

I found the ending to be incredibly heart-warming even if the larger implications might not be so good. It was nice to watch this friendship grow over the course of the film and in many ways it felt natural and real, as though the film was actually a reflection of the two actors friendship in real life.

Overall, this is one of the sweetest and most true films you may see this year.

Pros.

Morales

Duplass

The genuine feeling of friendship

The emotion

The ending

Cons.

It can be hard to watch at times

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Cabin In The Woods: The Old Gods Want Blood

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends go out to stay in a cabin in the woods, insert Family Guy joke about saying the title of the film, and of course once they get out there things start to go awry.

I am a big fan of this film, minus the pervy Joss Whedon elements but we will get to those, and think that if you are a fan of the slasher genre this is a must watch. There is something so smart and so loving about this film, it both sends up the slasher genre but also revels in its tropey goodness. I think the entire meta reading of this film, as we the audience are the old gods wanting to see our slasher films play out the way they always do is entirely novel and well done.

Likewise the film does a good job of making you care about the characters, with Chris Hemsworth’s character being a delightful revelation. Hemsworth plays the dumb jock but the film goes out of its way to flip that cliché and do something new with it, the same can be said for the rest of the archetypal roles of the slasher. In that regard I thought Kristen Connolly’s Dana made for an excellent final girl and I liked that she failed to prevent the disaster at the end as it made her feel more genuine and real.

Furthermore, as a huge horror fan I got a lot out of the vending machine of monsters scene inside the facility where we were treated to tons and tons of references and homages, it was easily my favourite scene of the film.

Sadly, now we must talk about the issues. A lot of these issues boil down to one thing, camera angles and pervy intent. A lot of the female characters in this film are shot in a way where the camera is often not looking at their faces and is instead looking at other areas, this becomes incredibly transparent as the film goes on. I would like to blame this on Joss Whedon as we know he has a habit of doing this kind of thing from his other work, however Drew Goddard is not above suspicion as well. Regardless it is needless.

Overall, a strong film made stronger if you are a hardcore horror fan.

Pros.

Hemsworth

Connelly

The ending

The vending machine of monsters

Cons.

The perviness

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Titane: Pushing The Boundaries Of Bad Taste

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Agathe Rousselle, goes on a killing spree and has sex with cars.

Clearly the director of this film has been having some conversations with Ti West and is being taught in the school of being edgy in a horror film for the sake of shock value. Within the first ten minutes of this film you have a car accident, a protracted surgery scene, a scene were a young girl passionately embraces a car, then a cut to when she is an adult and an almost rape scene. Yes, all of that did almost make me turn the film off, but no I decided to stick with it and believe me it got worse.

The car sex scene that happens again fairly early into the film is entirely needless. I am no prude but this scene is just unnecessary, it is too long, too graphic and too fetishized. If it were used in a film by a male director it would be labelled problematic and never allowed to see the light of day.

Furthermore as the film progresses it begins to deal with ideas around gender, now there could be something of merit here if the film had something intelligent to say with it, but no, it is just used as a gimmick to try and seem trendy.

Overall, I don’t really know what more to say, don’t watch it.

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It is needless in almost everyway

It tries too hard to be edgy

It does nothing interesting with the ideas around gender

It is unpleasant and depressing to watch

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Halloween: Jamie Lee Curtis’ Birth As A Scream Queen

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Laurie Strode, played by Jamie Lee Curtis, and other residents of Haddonfield are stalked by a mysterious masked killer.

To me, and this might be a controversial opinion, this is easily John Carpenter’s best film. This is a horror film that is firing on all cylinders and gets every little detail right. I think for me the strongest aspect of this film is it’s score, the composing is masterful and the timings are perfect: the non-diegetic sound here really adds a lot to the film and enhances it.

Moreover, this film does a lot with a little in terms of scares. Unlike the newest instalment in this franchise that has been criticised by some as being too violent and bloody, here there is a minimal amount of actual violence but the threat feels even more intense than it does in Halloween Kills. I believe that is because this film put a greater emphasis on the killer stalking and watching his targets then it does on him actually killing them, the thrill is in the chase after all.

Finally, the cast across the board is superb with Jamie Lee Curtis earning her scream queen status with ease here, her performance is incredible particularly the Boogeyman line after the killers escape at the end.

Overall, a magnificent slasher film and one that still holds up as one of the best.

Pros.

The tension

The threat

Jamie Lee Curtis

The score

The ending

Cons.

None

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Jeepers Creepers: If You See A Body Being Thrown Down A Pipe Don’t Investigate It

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A brother, played by Justin Long, and sister, played by Gina Phillips, are terrorised by an otherworldly entity as they are driving home from university.

Before I get into this film I just want to address the director. Yes, I know that the director of this film is highly problematic for a number of reasons, if you don’t know them look them up, but I tried to push that out of my mind whilst watching this film and just enjoy it for what it was.

This film and its sequel have always had a special place in my heart, as I grew up watching them. Whether it was as a child or now these films have always managed to creep me out, there is just something about them. From the unnerving car chase to the misadventure down the drainage pipe and everything that comes after this film does a really good job in building tension and creating a terrifying atmosphere. It is nice to see a horror film that isn’t solely reliant on jump scares.

Moreover, as I have previously said in other posts the creature effects on the antagonist are incredibly good. The monster looks both demonic and alien as well as simply nightmare fuel. I also appreciated how this film never really went out of its way to explain the creature or what it is doing adding to the mystery and the tension.

My main gripe with the film really comes in the form of the dumb decisions the characters make. Yes, like in many other horror films the sibling duo here make all kinds of stupid mistakes over the course of the film, worse still the film even draws attention to them and makes fun of them for doing them saying things like how it would be a terrible decision if they were in a horror film. As I have said before calling out bad writing that is reliant on cliches doesn’t suddenly make it good, it just makes it fee lazy as you are admitting that you couldn’t be bothered to fix it.

Overall, this is an underrated horror gem.

Pros.

The creature

The tension

The atmosphere

The ending

Cons.

Dumb decision making

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Night Teeth: Driving Miss Bloodsucker

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Benny, played by Jorge Lendeborg Jr, finds himself in the middle of a vampire turf war after he covers his brother’s, played by Raul Castillo, shift as a driver.

I enjoyed this film and thought that it had enough uniqueness to it that it stands out within the vampire sub-genre. It is very stylised and this again helps to give it flair with an almost comic book esque aesthetic, the action again reflects this with a lot of the big fight scenes feeling straight from the page.

Lendeborg Jr is a fine leading man, but he is greatly outdone by Debbie Ryan as Blair, one of the two vampires being driven around. Lendeborg Jr and Ryan have an undeniable amount of chemistry together on screen and their romance is very believable. Moreover, Ryan’s character is also the most complex with her being this killing machine but also longing for more, with the idea that she has been forced or conditioned into this life never too far from the viewers mind.

The two areas where I felt the film was lacking was its villain and its originality. In terms of villain we have Alfie Allen as victor the big bad vampire boss who is making a play for the whole city, now the issue with Allen’s character is that we really aren’t shown him doing very much yet we are expected to believe he is a threat. This becomes a big issue when you get to the final part of the film where he is supposedly super powerful and unbeatable yet we hadn’t got a whiff of that before as it is not well set up. Moreover, in terms of originality, though I said the film is fairly unique it is also quite reliant on past tropes which serve as a disservice to it.

Overall, a strong vampire film that benefits from casting Debby Ryan.

Pros.

Ryan

The romance

Some interesting new ideas

Cons.

A little too reliant on tropes

Alife Allen is wasted

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Venom Let There Be Carnage: The Odd Couple Split Up

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Eddie Brock, played by Tom Hardy, and Venom, voiced by Tom Hardy, are back and this time they are fighting a new evil symbiote in the form of Woody Harrelson’s Carnage.

I was sorely underwhelmed by this film.

The first was by no means a masterpiece of the craft but it was better than this. The first really cared about its body horror elements and its mature themes and subject matter, this however feels like it is going out of its way to ditch them. The age rating card said there were scenes of horror in this film, and I ask you where were they? I didn’t see them, were they cut? This feels so safe that I don’t see why it didn’t get a lower certificate. Clearly this is being done so they can bring Venom into the MCU.

Continuing on in that form this film feels a lot sillier than the first film and I mean intentionally so, there is far more of the MCU style of humour here and much like with Star Wars it is all the worse for it.

Tom Hardy still feels like he is trying his best but everyone else around him is either underused or just terrible. The near always fantastic Stephen Graham is entirely underserved and is given such a weak part that anyone could have done it, the same can be said for Harrelson’s Carnage. Now I don’t know if Harrelson’s performance wasn’t good or the character was poorly written but there was just nothing to Carnage, the tragic serial killer angle has been done better before and the CGI monster fight at the end has been to. Any actor could easily have taken over the role and probably matched what Harrelson was giving off here.

Finally, the post credits scene is perhaps one of the weakest and most blatant I have ever seen. Going so far as to show us Tom Holland as Spider-Man, and force in a weird scene of Venom licking his face on the screen. In my mind entirely needless.

Overall, don’t waste your money seeing this in a cinema wait for it to come to a streaming platform.

Pros.

Hardy

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Carnage

Why bring back Michelle Williams and then give her nothing to do?

It feels toned down in the worst way

The humour mostly doesn’t work and feels too much like a copy of the MCU

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X-Men Apocalypse: Ripping Up And Ruining Comic Books Over The Space Of Two Hours

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Apocalypse, played by Oscar Issac, awakens in the mid Eighties and tries to take over the world.

This film takes a steaming dump all over the X-Men in many ways. Firstly it brings in fan favourite characters such as Psylocke, played by Olivia Munn, Angel, played by Ben Hardy, and Storm, played by Alexandra Shipp and then barely uses them. Worse still in the case of Angel the film just kills him off. This shows almost a contempt to the lore or the universe as Angel is a character that has had a long and storied comics history and has many places to go, not that this film cares.

Likewise, the film had the perfect inspiration in the Age of Apocalypse storyline from the Nineties yet it doesn’t even bother to draw an influence from that, and instead gives us a mess riddled with needless Eighties nostalgia and horribly used CGI. The final battle in this film is one of the worst realised of any superhero film in terms of its use of CGI, it looks visually repulsive.

The cast across the board isn’t very good with two key exceptions that I will get to, the young actors brought in to play the new version of the X-Men are all terrible with no exceptions, Tye Sheridan and Sophie Turner are particularly poor. Jennifer Lawrence clearly doesn’t want to be there and though normally he is terrific here James McAvoy is sorely underused and as such can’t deliver.

The two good performances and the reason this film doesn’t get lower are Michael Fassbender as Magneto and Evan Peters as Quicksilver. I thought the exploration of the father son dynamic between these two characters was interesting, I would have liked to see the film commit to it rather than just dance around the subject but it framed the film nicely. Of course the slow motion scene with Peters is cool to look at, but it is the emotional scenes where his character shines.

Moreover, the scenes with Magneto as a family man, who then loses his family and breaks bad again are very well done and easily become the highpoint of a deeply mediocre affair.

Overall, the clear start of the decline for the Fox X-Men films.

Pros.

The father son subplot

Fassbender

Cons.

Wasting Oscar Issac

The young cast

The CGI finale mess

A weak plot

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The Uninvited: Stop Hating The Perceived Homewrecker, She’s Not Done Anything

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film follows a young woman, played by Emily Browning, who has recently come out of a mental institution returning home again. However, after she arrives she becomes more and more concerned about her father’s new girlfriend, played by Elizabeth Banks, who she begins to believe is plotting against her.

I will admit the twist with this one got me; I was not expecting it. I enjoyed that the film took the cliched trope of the evil home invader and flipped it on its head. Furthermore, I thought that Banks, rather than Browning was in fact the star of the show, as she gave off a real sense of menace and stole every scene she was in.

I thought Browning was okay, but her performance did nothing to elevate the character or the role, and she just became a very generic protagonist.

Something that I thought was odd about the film was the way in which the supernatural elements early on clashed with the thriller aspects of the rest of the film. It seemed this film could not decide what it wanted to be so tried to go for both, which hurt it as the initial supernatural stuff jars against what comes later, though I suppose could actually be read as an early clue.

Overall, an interesting thriller film with a solid twist that is let down by its choice of leading lady.

Pros.

Banks

The twist

Good tension

Cons.

Browning

The supernatural elements

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The French Dispatch: Too Much Wes Anderson?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A series of stories making up the final issue of a well respected fictional news publication.

I have been a fan of Wes Anderson for some time, and for the most part I enjoy his style and his noticeable eccentricities, however, here I find he has gone too far into himself. This film embraces Anderson’s filmmaking philosophy to the Nth degree, serving as a series of barely connected skits with constant movement and a loose connective whole, this is not a good thing as it makes the whole piece very hard to follow.

Each tale and indeed each scene within seemed to jump from one thing to another with such speed as to make it impossible to know what was going on.

Worse yet, of the four pieces the only one that is enjoyable, the first featuring Owen Wilson, is incredibly short and then that’s it we don’t see Wilson again until the end of the film. The other three features suffer from the opposite problem, which is to say they drag on, and on- to the point of boredom.

That is not to say this film is bad there are moments of enjoyment to be found whether that is a chuckle, or a delightfully off beat Anderson character. The best amongst these is Timothee Chalamet’s Zeffirelli. Other than in The King Chalamet has never impressed me in the way he has other people and I have long viewed him as overrated. This film counters that as Chalamet fits in perfectly and easily captures the essence of a Wes Anderson character easily becoming the best character in the whole film, as such I am hoping that Chalamet becomes Anderson’s new muse and the two keep making films together for a long time.

Overall, though there are good elements to the film, it suffers from terrible pacing and a feeling of indulgence on the directors part, it could be said this film is too Wes Anderson for most Wes Anderson fans,

Pros.

Chalamet

A few funny moments

Owen Wilson’s segment

Cons.

Three of the four segments are only okay

The pace is awful

The lack of a coherent larger narrative

Most of the actors are wasted

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