Fish Out Of Water: I Wish I Could Swim

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A tale of anxiety, woe and the ocean blue.

As some of you may know if you have been reading my reviews for a while, I like poetry. I have dabbled at it a fair bit in the past to mixed degrees of success, it’s a fickle thing. As such I am impressed that this film managed to condense its entire narrative into one poem, and that from that poem the film is able to go in many different directions and illicit so many different emotions.

I often found this film to be deep and surprisingly thoughtful, it made me smile as much as it made me think and broadly ponder. I thought the film was quite true in a lot of the things it was saying about anxiety disorder and the struggles those of us who have it have to go through. It felt very real and human.

My one critique of the film would be that it is too short. I mean that both in terms of I wanted more but also in that I think the film could have done with a few extra minutes to flesh out some of its themes and deeper meanings.

Overall, a beautifully unique film.

Pros.

How it covered dealing with anxiety

The emotion

The poem

The cinematography

Cons.

It is too short

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Batman: Trying Desperately To Replicate Nolan

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new emotional Batman, played by Robert Pattinson, is born. Is this Nolan? Not quite.

I will admit I liked this film more than I thought I was going to based on the trailers, there are a number of things that work here and a few major things that don’t, but to the positive first.

Jeffery Wright, Zoe Kravitz and Paul Dano are all terrific. Wright and Kravitz totally make the characters of Gordon and Kyle their own to such an extent that you can’t think about anyone else in the role. Yes, I do think these may become the definitive versions of these characters. Moreover, Dano is magnetic as Riddler and really makes the character come alive in a threatening, unstable way that has never been done on the big screen before, Dano’s Riddler is easily the star of the show.

Another positive is the world. This Gotham City feels very comics accurate; the deprivation and the despair are clear to see and inform the wider narrative of the film. Reeves very accurately captures the world of Gotham as it appears in the comics.

Now onto my issues with the film.

This film really suffers pacing wise, I did say when it was announced that the film was going to be on for close to 3 hours that it was going to be an issue and I was proven quite right. After a while the film starts to drag and even becomes boring, this obviously hurts it tremendously.

Additionally, the film is clearly trying very hard to mimic Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy and as such goes hard with the uber realism and grit. However, unlike Nolan’s films this really doesn’t land and comes across as silly, baffling or simply not as intended. Examples of what I am talking about can be seen as Batman rarely talks to people instead he just stairs, this might have seemed like a cool idea but doesn’t work, moreover, whenever Batman walks anywhere he does it so slowly that anyone could easily just run away, a lot of the time it is not even slow motion he is just barely strolling along. Though Reeves thinks this makes for an intense on-screen presence it actually instead becomes a recurring joke.

Lastly, the emo hot topic Batman played by Robert Pattinson certainly won’t be to everyone’s taste, he wears copious amounts of eye makeup and acts like an angsty teen which at times does become grating, some of the lines are incredibly on the nose in this regard. Furthermore, I don’t think anyone will be coming away from this film saying what a great actor Pattinson is as he is really quite monotone throughout.

Overall, on the better side of fine, but not approaching truly good.

Pros.

Wright

Kravitz

Dano

Cons.

Emo Batman

The pacing

It tries to hard to copy what Nolan did

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Asking For It: Yikes

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The rape revenge-sub genre needs to end, or find something interesting to say.

Many people have called this a feminist film, however, to them I say is it? This film does nothing to advance the cause, or add to the conversation, it just shouts out a lot of things other films have already said about gender issues, but hopes that by being the loudest you won’t realise that this film actually has nothing new to say. It is barely knee deep.

None of this is helped by the fact that the characters are barely two dimensional and are written as hollow cliches, acting more as mouth pieces for regurgitation than as characters. The cast have all been talented in other things so I am left to either assume they either couldn’t be bothered here, or the writing wasn’t good enough to induce a good performance.

Moreover, the greatest crime of this film is that it is deeply boring and never really does or says anything that is worthy of getting your attention let alone keeping it.

A final question I have for you all is this, who was this film made for? Who is supposed to like it? Anyone? No one?

Overall, a poorly executed message film that will no doubt be forgotten about by next week.

Pros.

Hudgens has charisma even if her character is a horrendous cliché

Cons.

The message achieves nothing and is regurgitated

The cast are all barely two dimensional

It has awful pacing

It is boring and generic

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Blacklight: The Battle Against Retirement

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Liam Neeson continues to refuse to retire and stars in yet another disappointing action film.

Folks we are a long way from the days of Taken.

I remember when a Liam Neeson action film used to be a sight to see, there was a time when almost all of the films Neeson, wherein he was staring, were golden. Sadly those days seem long over. I admit as a Neeson fan there was still a little of that old Neeson charm to be found here, but it is wearing thin. That said if this film didn’t star Neeson I would have turned it off early and not reviewed it, he was the one thing that kept me going.

The plot of this film is deeply generic and familiar to the point of parody. All of the threads have been well tread by other better films, and the attempts at social commentary never seem to come together, it can’t seem to decide what it wants to say.

The rest of the cast outside of Neeson might as well not exist as they are given so little to do it would have made more sense to simply have Neeson just doing things and not interacting with anyone for the length of the film as they add nothing.

Overall, it is sad to see Neeson reduced to this.

Pros.

Neeson

It is watchable

Cons.

The plot

The wider supporting cast

It is boring and generic

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

King Knight: Finding Your Flock

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Leaders of a Wiccan coven Thorn, played by Matthew Grey Gubler and Willow, played by Angela Sarafyan go through trial and tribulation as seeks from Thorn’s past seek to unseat them.

This is a bizarre film in the best way, there are so many out there, illogical things that happen that you can at times be baffled by, but in that strangeness comes the charm. Certainly this is one of the most original films I have seen in a while.

Moreover, I also think this film has a really lovely message about finding your flock and being accepting of other people. In many respects its themes of social isolation and living in a gilded cage really bleed through, hitting home and resonating .

I thought the cast was terrific across the board though I would say that Gubler was the stand out for me. I really bought the emotion of his performance and I thought the narrative about him being uncomfortable dancing really allowed for his character to go on a wonderful journey that had a very satisfying pay off.

Also this film featured Ray Wise, who is a personal favourite of mine, so that is a big win for me, any film with Ray Wise gains favour with me.

Overall, certainly one that will fly under a lot of people’s radar but one that is a must watch if you can find it.

Pros.

Wise

Gubler

The strangeness

The originality

Cons.

Mild pacing issues

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

No Exit: No One Cared About This Film So Why Should You?

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another deeply generic, thoughtless thriller that you have seen one hundred times before, maybe more.

Is this the standard of films coming out these days? Honestly whilst watching I found it quite hard not to go on my phone, or just do something else, there really was nothing in this film that kept me engaged or even remotely interested.

The performances all reek of a group of people brought together by a need to get another hot tub rather than by anyone caring about the project. Most of the cast keep one look on their face consistently throughout the film, such is the standard of acting on display here.

Some other reviewers have been angered by a scene in which a character snorts some cocaine as a means to gain strength, now I am not bothered by this because in a film as poor as this with a script and screenplay that both scream of being written over a weekend with the idea to crank something out I would not expect anything more.

Overall, clearly no one on the production side of things gave a damn about this film and it shows.

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It is generic

It is way too familiar

The acting is awful

So is the writing

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Family Squares: Grief In The Time Of Covid

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people gather together on zoom after the death of their Grandmother.

I thought this film was surprisingly effecting, there were a number of moments I had a tear in my eye or could feel myself welling up. On first appearance this film is sold as a comedy film and yes there are jokes, a few of which even make you laugh, but in my mind this film is far stronger as a dramatic piece about people dealing with life changes and loss.

The cast is all fairly strong across the board, all are able to be both light and affable and also to bring out the dramatic big guns when required, if I were to single one person out for special acting commendation it would probably be Judy Greer, I thought there were a number of scenes here where Greer really shined and stood out from the crowd through her dramatic work.

My one issue with the film is that the teams/zoom setting will quickly date it, as will all the copious references to Covid, I understand the desire to be topical, but it does become a crutch after a while narratively.

Overall, a warm, touching, sometimes funny film.

Pros.

The cast

Greer specially

The drama and the emotion

The pace

Cons.

The format as well as mentions to covid will quickly date the film

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Family Stone: The Most Cringe Film Ever Made

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The very worst form of the meeting family for the first time plot.

This film was just awful, I know I complain a lot about films being cringe, but this film was so horribly, uncomfortably cringe in its character interactions that honestly I had to look away at times such was the awkwardness. I will stress to you that it was not good cringe, no, it was the very worst kind.

Moreover, this film has some deeply warped values as it portrays it to be perfectly normal for someone to be considering marrying someone else after knowing them for just one day, as well as saying it is fine to get bored of your current partner and then go out with their siblings whilst the two of you are still together. Not only does the film push this message it also acts like its normal, which last I checked isn’t the case.

In addition, most of the cast struggle to act and almost every single one of the interactions feels painful and stilted.

Overall, the only saving grace of this film was Luke Wilson and even he was wasted here.

Pros.

Wilson

Cons.

The cringe

Parker

The cast either can’t be bothered or are wasted

It has terrible morals

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fun With Dick And Jane: The Struggles Of The Middle Class

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

When husband and wife duo, played by Jim Carrey and Téa Leoni, both find themselves unemployed and with the wolves at the door they take to committing a series of robberies to keep the lights on.

There is some fun to be had here, let it not be said that this film is entirely without charm or entertainment. However, I definitely think it is in the lower end of Carrey’s filmography, as he is strangely dialled back here and doesn’t ever go as fully wild as we would expect him to. Leoni fairs far better and her character is the more complete of the two, she also has more funny jokes than Carrey which is another red flag.

Though I enjoyed the earlier heists, as they wore silly costumes and the focus was far more on jokes than anything else, I thought as things progressed the heists got more and more boring. To that effect, the final heist where they try and steal from Carrey’s characters old boss, played by Alec Baldwin, just comes across as dull. Baldwin doesn’t make for a very interesting villain and the whole plotline between the two feels incredibly dated, as such this makes it hard to care about the ending which in turn damages the film as a whole.

Overall, not terrible, but not great either. Middling Carrey.

Pros.

Leoni

A few funny jokes early on

It is watchable

Cons.

Carrey is off form

Baldwin

It feels dated

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Meet The Fockers: One For The Family

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After meeting her parents, now it’s time for them to meet his.

In some respects I thought this was better than the first film but in other ways it was worse. As a sequel I would say it finds it hard to progress beyond what the first film did and instead doubles down on it, this is both a blessing and a curse.

In regard to what I enjoyed I thought the new parents played by Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand both added a lot to this film, heart and laughs respectively. Moreover, I thought the ending of this film was more fun than the last and felt less cliched.

The comedy was something of a mixed bag for me, as I did find myself laughing harder when there was a joke that resonated with me, but I also found myself laughing less than I did in the previous film. I appreciated the fact that the comedy of this film was far less cringe than that of its predecessor.

Regarding what I didn’t like, I found this film went too far with DeNiro’s character making him too over the top and ridiculous. The narrative of this film implies the character learnt nothing from the first film and continues to distrust Greg, played by Ben Stiller, which makes no sense. Moreover, the means by which he tries to prove that Greg is a bad guy are way more sinister than they were in the first film which makes the character far more unlikeable. I can see why the film chose to take this character in this over the top direction yet I am left to question did no one see this as an issue at the time?

Overall, two steps forward one step back.

Pros.

Hoffman and Streisand

A few good jokes

The ending is a lot better

Cons.

DeNiro

The funny jokes were few and far between

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer