The Jack In The Box: If You Find A Creepy Box In The Ground Leave It There

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A demon jack-in-the-box is discovered and brought to a local English museum, however, once situated people start to go missing and bodies start piling up.

This film won’t win any awards, but I enjoyed it for doing something new with the killer clown format, I don’t think I have ever seen a demonically possessed jack-in-the-box before on screen so in that regard this is a nice dose of originality.

Moreover, a further strength of this film is that it benefits from a certain B movie esque charm, you can tell that this film was made on a very low budget but it looks good for it, it gives the film more of a real world edge that helps to sell the demon jack-in-the-box more thoroughly.

However, my main criticisms of this film would be that the performances are fairly week across the board, no one not even the lead delivers anything even close to a good performance which at times can take you out of the film.

Overall, certainly not the best film you will ever see but there is an unmistakable charm and originality to this film that genre diehards will enjoy.

Pros.

The originality

The scares

The B movie charm

The design of the demon

Cons.

The performances are awful

The final twist is laughably predictable

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Sideworld Haunted Forests Of England: Viewing Material Before Your Next Trip To The Woods

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

3 of England’s most haunted forests are explored with their myths and folklore brought to life.

I can’t believe George Popov has done it again, he has forged yet another masterpiece after his previous work The Droving. I think this film spoke to me so much personally because I am a huge folklore fan, I love going to new locations and learning about their strange and mysterious pasts, my book shelf is filled with tomes about mysteries and ghost stories and so this film was right up my alley.

I enjoyed how the film was set out, I thought by exploring 3 different forests and by extension 3 different types of folklore the film allowed itself a lot of room to stay fresh and also produce so really strong scares. I was surprised at how many times this film unsettled me, moreover it not only unsettled me but it also stayed with me after watching, I found myself still creeped out hours later.

I also think another strength of this film that is no less important is the fact that it teaches you more about England, and for those of us that live in Britain that means we learn more about our island and possibly have new places to visit next Halloween. I always enjoy films that can teach me something I didn’t know before and this definitely does that.

Overall, a deeply engaging, creepy affair and definitely one to check out.

Pros.

It teaches you a lot

It is scares

The folklore is fascinating

The pacing is superb

It stay with you

Cons.

None.

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Sabrina: Move Over Annabelle

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An Indonesian demon doll film.

I enjoyed the originality of the scares on display in this film, and that despite being a doll film which in and off itself is a very played out genre there is some originality here. Moreover, I also will commend this film for the lengths it goes to in terms of its physical effects, though at times you can tell it is very low budget when the demon woman, played by Asri Handayani, is featured you can tell the film is pulling out the stops. The look of the demon woman is constantly on point and well maintained.

However, where this film falls apart for me is that its tone is all over the place, sometimes it is scary and seems like a genuine horror film whereas other times it feels closer to a horror comedy as the campy elements start to play up. Furthermore, the film has awful pacing issues and has no business being on for almost two hours, what makes this especially bad is the fact that the film has several long drawn out flashback scenes that drag on and on.

Overall, though I appreciate the originality, the tone and the pacing issues really stop this film from being in any way above average.

Pros.

The originality

The make-up effects

The scares

Cons.

The pacing

The tone

The performances

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Why Me: In Search Of Answers

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Actor Pietro Sermonti goes in search of answers regarding how much our DNA predetermines our life.

I thought this documentary was quite informative and posed questions I had never really thought about before, I can say that I feel smarter for watching it.

Moreover, I thought the cast of talking heads the film brought together were a nice mix, I found them to be both knowledge able, but also from enough different areas and backgrounds that it never felt one sided in it’s exploration of the subject area.

Overall, interesting for about three quarters of the run time, sadly that other quarter really drags.

Pros.

It is interesting, for the most part

A good selection of talking heads

It is informative and I felt like I learnt something from it

Cons.

Pacing issues

Some sections went on for too long and approached boredom

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The Outfit: The Perfect Fit?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A humble tailor, played by Mark Rylance, becomes wrapped up in a war between two rival Chicago gangs.

I thought this film leant a bit too heavily on Rylance, luckily he is more than capable of not only keeping it going but also elevating it, however without Rylance this film would be lost in a sea of mediocrity.

I thought for the few brief scenes he had Dylan O’Brien was a very welcome presence, and he also entirely lost himself in the role, however, the film kills him off early on and creates some what of a void for itself, as none of the other characters, bar Rylance, are in anyway interesting.

I enjoyed the mystery about Rylance’s characters past and found myself keenly invested in it. The same can’t be said for the warring gangs plotline which for the most part felt incredibly played out and more than a little overly familiar. The ending somewhat brought it all together to offer us something satisfying but even then I think the film could have gone further.

Overall, Mark Rylance makes this film what it is, but even he can’t propel it to greatness.

Pros.

Rylance

O’Brien

The mystery surrounding the lead’s past

Cons.

The central plot all felt very generic and familiar

The rest of the cast outside of Rylance and O’Brien are forgettable

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The Contractor: A Wannabe Tom Clancy Film

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another generic American military film, this time about a cash strapped soldier, played by Chris Pine, who becomes a private contractor to make ends meet only for it to go wrong.

This film felt like a Tom Clancy story without any of the smarts, or a David Makenzie film without the style. In many ways you have seen this film before, you know everything that happens in it and how it ends even before it has started, it is incredibly predictable.

Not only is it predictable but also aggressively boring as well. Yes, there is some competently put together action scenes and enough intrigue to at least keep you off your phone, but in no way is this film interesting. Kiefer Sutherland’s villain is obviously one from the get-go, so when he does betray Pine’s character you are left saying ‘finally’, rather than ‘ I didn’t see that coming’.

Another thing I didn’t like about this film was how little they gave Gillian Jacobs to do and how her role was worse than a cliché. Jacob’s plays the long suffering wife of Pine’s character and does seem to exist as a character or a person outside of him at least in the eyes of the film. I understand the film is a rough tough action film about men and war, but that doesn’t mean the female characters have to be reduced to barely human cliches good for raising kids and ignoring.

Overall, nothing you haven’t seen before.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few competent action scenes

Pine is serviceable

Cons.

It is dull

It is predictable

It reduces it’s female characters to less than cliches

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The Kid Who Would Be King: The School Play Version Of King Arthur

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new retelling of the King Arthur legend.

I am very mixed on this one, on one hand I enjoyed that it felt like a fresh take on the King Arthur legend apart from all the other adaptions of the story, it also had an incredibly distinct British charm and sensibility to it that I thought added a lot to the film. Moreover, it featured Patrick Stewart and I find it hard to not like something with Stewart in it.

However, on the other hand this film lacked any fun or imagination it needed to really come to life. There are some sections in the film that feel imaginative and well-executed perhaps even Harry Potter esque, but then they end and the film replaces them with a long drawn out beige scene in which the film progresses but doesn’t make you feel anything whilst doing so.

Additionally, what may be the greatest crime of this film is that it wastes Rebecca Ferguson in a villain role wherein she is given nothing to do and is kept off-screen for most of the film. This is an incredibly baffling decision as Ferguson is an incredibly strong performer so by not including her the film shoots itself in the foot.

Overall, it has potential but does nothing with it.

Pros.

The British feel to the film

A number of imaginative scenes

Patrick Stewart

Cons.

It doesn’t execute on its potential

It splits into dull

It wastes Rebecca Ferguson

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Metal Lords: Yet Another Film About High School Outcasts Forming A Band

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of high school outcasts form a metal band.

My, my the originality of this film is honestly a little shocking, I am being sarcastic if that wasn’t obvious. How many films before have had this exact same plot, I would find it very hard to say but I would say it is a very large number.

I understand D.B Weiss, yes one of the Game Of Thrones writers who you thought had faded away into infamy, wrote this based on his own personal high school experience but there is so little love or personality here that it just sort of fades into the shadow of other better films like Deathgasm.

Adrian Greensmith was well cast and does manage to give us a truly haunting performance of a deeply troubled young man who is lashing out at a world that has never shown him any kindness. He and an oddly perfect cameo from Joe Manganiello do help to make the film somewhat more enjoyable, however it simply isn’t enough.

Overall, this is the sort of film that will be promptly forgotten about 10 minutes after watching.

Pros.

Greensmith

Manganiello

Cons.

It is generic

It adds nothing new to the genre

Most of the cast are deeply milquetoast

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The Bubble: Actors Have It So Hard

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of actors are placed in a bubble during a film shoot in the pandemic, hijinks ensue.

So, I don’t think this film deserves a lot of the hate it is getting online, yes it is by no means a perfect picture, we’ll get to that, but it does have a lot going for it, including quite a few funny jokes that land well and great performances from Karen Gillan, Pedro Pascal, Peter Serafinowicz and surprisingly Daisy Ridley.

I also enjoyed the craziness of the film and applaud the fact that it raised itself above simply a parody of our recent past and actually went somewhere original beyond that, it would have been very easy to just comment on the different stages of the pandemic and cover the main talking points of them but thankfully this film did more than that.

However, that is where the praise ends. I do think it is far, far too soon for films about the pandemic, not just for the fact that it represents a still open wound for a lot of folks, especially those who lost people, but also because most have become so apathetic towards anything regarding covid that it can be a turn off when it comes to films and TV shows based around it.

Moreover, the area where this film lost major points for me was in everything to do with Iris Apatow’s character. Now we can’t really move beyond the fact that Iris was only cast because of nepotism, as there simply is no other explanation for her presence in this film, her performance is easily the weakest of the whole film and can be described as distractingly bad at times. In addition, though this is not Iris’ fault, her character is written to be such a bad cliché of how older generations view Gen Z that it goes beyond cringe to the point of suggesting just how out of touch Judd Apatow and Pam Brady are.

Finally, yet another reason parts of this film suck, which ties back into my last point, is how obsessed with Tik Tok it is, this film has multiple Tik Tok dance scenes which only serve to reinforce my earlier point that Apatow and Brady are badly out of touch and think that the only definable characteristics of young people today is the fact they like and use Tik Tok which is just lazy. The references to Tik Tok start out annoying and unwanted and only get more so.

Overall, better than a lot of the 1 star reviews will have you believe, but certainly nowhere near good.

Pros.

Gillian, Pascal, Serafinowicz, Ridley

Becoming more than just a parody

A number of funny jokes

Cons.

Everything to do with the Krystal character

The Tik Tok references

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Sonic 2: Idris Elba Redeems Himself For Cats

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Sonic, voiced by Ben Schwartz, returns this time caught up in a chaotic adventure centring around the Master Emerald, an object of cosmic power that ties back to Sonic’s origins.

This is everything you would want from a Sonic sequel, it is more of the same fun from the first film, it has a lot of heart and warmth to it and it introduces a bunch of new characters which will be very familiar to all those who have played the games.

In that vein, I really liked what this film did with both Tails, voiced by Colleen O’ Shaughnessey and Knuckles, voiced by Idris Elba. I thought both new characters were introduced well and given an importance to justify them being there rather than them just feeling forced in for the sake of it. Knuckles turn from villain to hero was blindingly obvious, especially for those who have played the games, but you don’t mind it because once he joins the team him and Sonic have a really good back and forth.

Moreover, Jim Carrey kills it once again as Dr Robotnik, stealing almost every scene he is in and having what looks like a lot of fun doing it. If this truly is Carrey’s last film then he is going out on a high note, though it is a shame as if this film gets another sequel it would feel as though it was missing something if Carrey didn’t make an appearance.

The James Marsden human sub-plot has its moments and does build to something resembling relevancy, however, it is the weakest part of the film for sure and definitely goes on for longer than it needs to.

Overall, just as good as the first film if not better. Strongly recommend.

Pros.

Tails and Knuckles

Carrey

The heart

It is a lot of fun

The post credits scene, which you definitely need to stick around for

Cons.

The wedding side plot drags on for far too long

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