Slumdog Millionaire: Love Finds A Way

Slumdog Millionaire is a drama romance film directed by Danny Boyle and Loveleen Tandan, it is based on the book Q & A. The plot follows Jamal (Dev Patel) and his brother Salim (Madhur Mittal), throughout their lives. Starting off with them as young orphans on the streets and showing them grow into men.

This film is a gut-punch. A lot of sad thing happen across its runtime that might be a lot for some people, the scene when the kid gets his eyes scooped out is particularly hard to watch, but it makes sense as it is reflective of life. The struggles we see our characters go through only makes us the audience root for them more, which is rewarded in the third act when Jamal wins twenty million rupees.

The central romance between Jamal and Latika (Freida Pinto), is one for the ages. We almost see them get together so many times, but it always seems as though a romance for the two is just out of reach. Jamal, however, never gives up as he keeps trying and trying until eventually a world exists where they can be together; if that doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, I don’t know what will.

Overall, this is a triumph for Danny Boyle in so many ways he manages to create a film that makes you feel a wide array of emotions very deeply all while being completely engaged by a tight, well written story. Also we get a lovely dance number at the end. What more could you ask for!

Pros.

The love story.

The performances from the main three actors.

It is tight and compelling.

You care about the characters.

The dance scene at the end.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

My Spy: Child Actors Are The Worst

My Spy is an action comedy film directed by Peter Segal. The plot follows tough, manly CIA agent JJ (Dave Bautista), as he is sent to investigate the family of a potential nation threat. However, him and his partner get rumbled by Sophie (Chole Coleman), a young girl who runs circles around the two agents. The two then strike up at deal that basically ends in JJ becoming her new father.

Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an action movie. Other than the opening sequence there is no action in this film until the last ten minutes. To call it an action film is laughable, as SpongeBob probably has more of a right to call itself one over this film. Secondly when we do get action, the film seems to think it is better and cooler action than it actually is; what we get is boring at best.

Where this film shines is in the comedy of Dave Bautista. The man’s transition to comedy is one of the best things to happen to cinema in the last 10 years. He was very funny in this film and had a lot of great lines as did his partner Bobbi (Kristen Schaal). The little girl however was not funny. Now I am not going to say too many negative things about her performance as child actors are easy targets, but I will say she was incredibly annoying right from the off, not only that but the way she was hell bent on setting up JJ with her mum was bordering on obsessive and it was weird.

Obviously, the whole plot makes no sense, so I won’t even bother trying to explain it. I will say it is aggressively dumb though.

Overall, despite some highpoints like the comedy as well as great prop choices, this film is cringey and feels about 20 years too late. It is not an action film and despite a valiant effort from Bautista and Schaal it is not much of a comedy film either.

Pros.

Dave Bautista.

Kristen Schaal.
Cons.

The kid.

The dumbness of it all.

The weird way the kid went about setting up JJ with her mum.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cheaper By The Dozen: Life After Kids

Cheaper By The Dozen is a family friendly comedy film directed by Shawn Levy, it is based on the 1950’s film of the same name. It follows mum and dad duo Tom (Steve Martin), and Kate (Bonnie Hunt), as they try and go through life with 12 kids, the film shows the ins and outs of the Baker family.

I just learnt when I watched this film recently that it was not a Disney film. It has that look to it, that very middle-class sense of chaos, the all-American dream where nothing bad every really happens and everything works out at the end of the day. This is live action formula Disney used with its’ live action movies in the 90s and the 00’s and still a little bit today. The fact that this film also adheres to it is what made me think it was a Disney film.

From a family friendly point of view this film has a lot of charm, it has some jokes, it has some heart, it has good positive messages; all round it is very wholesome. The humour didn’t work for me personally, I didn’t find any of the jokes making me laugh, but comedy is subjective. The heart of the film however did work on me, I thought the scene when Tom goes looking for his kid that has ran away is deeply touching and there is something in it that really resonates with me.

The performances are all what you would expect, that is not a bad thing. I think the best performance is probably from Martin himself and he is very believable as this dad character. I also think that Ashton Kutcher steals all the scenes he is in, he was the best supporting character.

Overall, this is a very formulaic family movie for good or bad that is what it is. The heart of the film connected with me in such a way that I loved it even if it was a bit cheesy and the humour didn’t work.
Pros.

Steve Martin.

Ashton Kutcher.

The heart.

The wholesomeness.

Cons.

It feels very formulaic and predictable.

The humour didn’t land.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Road To El Dorado: Streets Paved With Gold

The Road To El Dorado is an animated adventure film directed by Bibo Bergeron and Don Paul. The plot sees two rouges Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh), head down to South America around the time of the Cortes Invasion. The two are there to try and find the treasure of the city of El Dorado, one there they pretend to be Gods; funny shenanigans ensue.

This was a personal favourite of mine growing up, I watched it religiously. I recently watched it again to see if it holds up and I am pleased to say it does. Much like when I was a child, I enjoyed myself and found a smile never too far from my face.

I have been noted as saying I like animated films with talking animal sidekicks, I tend to find they’re my favourite characters, this film however negates that by having two leading characters rather than just one. The interplay between the two men is just what I would enjoy out of a relationship like Mulan and Mushu in that film, I buy the relationship and I think it is funny.

I love the South American inspired colour pallet and design choices of this film, much like I said about Pocahontas I feel like when I film taps into this sense of culture and identity it really brings it alive visually.

I thought all the characters were great, but Rosie Perez did end up stealing the show as Chel, she was very lovable and her relationship with the two men was always amusing.

Overall this film stood the test of time for me, so I hope you can watch it and enjoy it too. It is definitely one of DreamWorks’ hidden gems.

Pros.

The design and the animation.

The characters, particularly Chel.

A great voice cast doing good work.

The songs and the humour.

The bad guy felt threatening, as one should.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sleepaway Camp: Sickening

Sleepaway Camp is a slasher horror film directed by Robert Hiltzik. The plot sees a traumatised young girl be sent off to summer camp, while she is there things go from bad to worse and people start dying left and right, but who is the killer?

I will start this review off by saying I don’t like this film, it felt uncomfortable to me in a lot of ways. I think some of the scenes, that I will get to, felt very predatory and the whole film as a whole felt very icky. I would strongly recommend no one watches this film as it doesn’t deserve it, it deserves to be forgotten.

Let’s get to the root of my issues with the film. Firstly very early in the film it is revealed that one of the staff at the camp is sexually attracted to kids, this is then treated by the other characters as no big deal. He then tries to assault one of the kids, again no one seems to say anything. Yes, the character is the first to die, but I ask you what was the need to include him in the first place? Did it add anything to the story? I don’t think so.

My second issue comes from a scene later on in which a camper is showering, it tries to parody Psycho, my issue with this scene is that the girls’ age is questionable, she look quite young and the way it is shot feels predatory. It is almost as thought the film is trying to sexualise this character, despite her supposedly being young. There are a lot of other tasteless scenes scattered through that raise alarms for me, but no doubt some people will call me puritanical, these scenes made my skin crawl and like I keep saying are very unnecessary.

The twist at the end, I didn’t see coming, but it also didn’t blow me away.

I think this film likes to think that it can compete with other 80s slashers, maybe it even thinks it is better than them, but to me this film shows everything that is wrong with the time period and the genre. Give me Friday The 13^th or A Nightmare On Elm Street any day of the week over this predatory trash.

Pros.

I didn’t see the twist coming.

Cons.

It is way too sexual about young kids.

The needless peado character.

The shower scenes that feel icky.

It is slow for an hour and 20 minutes.

It shows the worst of the genre.

0/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Every Animated Film Needs Eddie Murphy

Mulan is an animated action and adventure film directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. The classic Disney plotline see resilient character Mulan (Ming-Na Wen), take up her family’s mantle of fighting in the Imperial Army, so that her elder father doesn’t get drafted. The only issue is that women are not allowed in the Imperial Army, so she must pretend to be a man, a feat she manages while accompanied by a wise-cracking dragon and a lucky bug.

I fondly remember watching this film when I was young, and I enjoyed it even more when I rewatched it. This is to me the perfect example of ‘Disney Magic’, there is something about the songs and the hand drawn animation that calls to me and makes me smile. However, it also makes me worry about the new remake coming out; as I strongly believe that it will be losing its’ heart.

I think the songs make this film, again another reason the song less remake troubles me. ‘Make A Man Out Of You’ to paraphrase, is one of my favourite Disney songs of all time and I think it perfectly captures the spirit of the film and is catchy and memorable.

I also enjoyed the characters Eddie Murphy as Mushu is perfect casting he manages to make the character immediately likable whilst also endearing and funny. Mulan herself is inspiring and shows that we can all be a little bit bravery and that we can all be heroes; I think she is one of Disney’s best role models. Finally, I enjoyed the villain Shan Yu (Miguel Ferrer), I thought he was everything a good villain should be, intimidating, menacing and memorable.

Overall, a Disney Classic that still has a place in 2020. It more than holds up and is still a lot of fun to watch!

Pros.

The humour.

Mulan herself.

The action.

The villain.

The songs.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Playmobil The Movie: The Lego Movies Less Successful Jealous Cousin

The Playmobil Movie is an animated action and adventure comedy film directed by Lino Disalvo. The plot follows two siblings Marla (Anya Taylor- Joy) and Charlie (Gabriel Bateman), who get sucked into the Playmobil world and have to battle and adventure their way out. This movies soul objective is to prove that it is different from the Lego Movie.

I had heard nothing but bad things about this film, so I decided to give it a watch and see if it lived up to its infamous reputation. Though there were many issues with it, I will get into those, but I found it to be a passively okay thing to watch. It wasn’t offensively bad and turning my brain off and giving up on the plot helped me to enjoy it a lot more.

There is no sense to be found in this film, it feels very much as though they tried to stuff every different Playmobil playset into the film; logic be damned. Personally, I enjoyed the randomness of it all, but seeing a Viking, a Pirate and a Roman all together on screen fighting a robot is a lot and it is very hard to keep track off.

This film is a musical, I don’t know if you’re aware, I wasn’t and there are a lot of songs which are mostly forgettable; none of them are terribly good none are terribly bad either, that is how I would describe this film. My issue with the songs is that they went on for a bit too long a lot of the time and you ended up pleading for them to be over.

Anya Taylor-Joy is always a delight and she is trying her best here, but the writing and the acting in this film is non-existent. It stems from corny one-liners that you have heard a hundred times before to cash grab celebrity cameos; I see you Mr Radcliffe. I think the film’s choice to make Taylor-Joy’s character the surrogate mum was an odd one and there is a lot more you can read into it; the message the characterization sends is pretty bad.

Overall, this is very meh, if you want to turn your brain off you will probably like it, if you have small children, they will probably like it; as long as they aren’t too discerning. It is far from good, but it isn’t offensively bad either.

Pros.

It is mindless fun.

The randomness is amusing.

Cons.

It makes no sense.

The songs are not needed.

The implications and suggestions around Taylor-joy’s character.

It loses half a point for the weird awkward flossing midway through the film.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke.

The Lovebirds: Sometimes You Need A Sex Cult

The Lovebirds is a romantic comedy directed by Michael Showalter. The plot sees Jibran (Kumail Nanjiani) and Leilani (Issa Rae) as a couple that is on the brink, be forced into a crime caper that leads them to be framed for a murder they didn’t commit. The two must set aside their relationship troubles and prove their innocence.

I put this on because I was looking for a light-hearted rom-com and I think Nanjiani can be funny; I was right on both fronts.

Unlike the other Netflix rom-com I recently watched Love, Wedding, Repeat the leads in this film actually have good on-screen chemistry. Rae and Nanjiani play off each other well and are believable as a couple that has a few issues, but deep down still care about each other.

I think as far as the story goes it is very cliché and predicatable, but then again it always was going to be. The crime elements (proving their innocence), plays out exactly how you think it would, there are a very good laughs and interesting gags thrown in along the way, so it still manages to keep you entertained. The same can be said for the more traditional rom com elements.

Overall, if you’re looking for the same things, I was with it then you will be entertained, if you’re looking for something that will push you and the genre forward then look for something else. I think for what it is it is fine and entertaining enough; would I want a sequel? No I wouldn’t.

Pros.

Rae and Nanjiani.

The humour.

The gags and situations.

Cons.

It is very predictable.

It is the same thing you have seen before.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke.

Pocahontas: The Colours Of The Wind

Pocahontas is an animated musical romance film directed by Eric Goldberg and Mike Gabriel; it is loosely based on the American folk tale of Pocahontas. The plot sees John Smith (Mel Gibson), lead an expedition to the New World (present day North America), where he meet a native girl called Pocahontas (Irene Bedard). The two falls in love, but their worlds soon clash, testing loyalties and friendships.

I think of all of Disney’s Animated offerings this is the one with the most soul and personality, it is so brimming with interesting Native American inspired design choices. I feel like more films about Native Americans are a must, albeit we should probably give creative control to someone of this ethnicity. The depiction of the Natives in this isn’t offensive, though the cliché of the noble savage haunts this film.

I loved the hand drawn animation of this film and thought every scene looked beautiful. I think Pocahontas surrounded by creatures is a very Snow-White inspired kind of thing, but I thought these scenes were especially pretty.

I also thought the songs were great and added a lot to the movie. I think the main song is beautiful and haunting and stays with you after the film ends, I also think all of the songs are incredibly catchy.

Moreover I applaud this film for having the balls to end the film in a sad way, I think it is a gutsy move that pays off. In addition to that the message of Pocahontas staying with her people and not abandoning them and giving up everything about her personality is a good thing that other Disney animated films could learn something from; Little Mermaid.

Overall, I admire this film’s sense of identity, I enjoy the historical period and I think the ending and the songs really benefit the film. My only issues with it are the reliance on worn out stereotypes and the fact that she doesn’t have a talking animal sidekick; these characters are normally my favourite in Disney films.

Pros.

The defined sense of personality.

The songs.

The setting.

The ballsy end.

Cons.

The noble savage is a tired worn out trope, stop it.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Small Soldiers: Lets Take On The World

Small Soldiers is a comedy action adventure film directed by Joe Dante. The plot sees toys be created that can come to life, but rather than be like Chucky and kill humans these toys seem pretty content killing one another. However, local kid Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), finds himself such in-between the sides and eventually finds himself the protector of the Gorgonites; it is up to him to end the bitter war once and for all.

When I was a lot younger I use to watch this film near constantly, I was unaware at the time that it was made my the same filmmaker who made one of my favourite movies of all time Gremlins, but I decided recently to rewatch it and see if it still held up. I am pleased to say it does.

The plot is laughably nonsensical, but everything is a lot of fun. It encapsulates the magic of playing with toys when you’re a kid, the very real war the toys fight is similar to what would have been going on in your mind when you were playing with your toys when you were a kid; no? Maybe just me.

I think the CGI and the animatronics still look okay, yes, it looks dated, but it still looks convincing enough and it the effects didn’t take me out of the film once.

I think the performances are all pretty flat, a young Kirsten Dunst does her best with a very whacky script thar probably just says ‘scream at the toys’, but this film was never going to be a marvel of acting.

Overall, watching this was a lot of good fun it remined me of being a kid and I still think it holds up in a lot of ways. If you haven’t seen it and are not too discerning, I would say it is a must watch.

Pros.

The dumb fun.

The spectacle.

Reminds you what it is like to play with toys.

It is very wholesome.

Cons.

The acting isn’t great, and the effects look dated.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke