Iron Man 2: Poison In The Heart

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Tony Stark, Robert Downey Jr, has to answer the sins of his father and hold off the US Government from stealing his property.

So to many this is one of the worst films in the MCU, however, I enjoy it. I enjoyed it when I first watched it in cinemas, I enjoyed it when I first watched the DVD and I enjoyed it when I rewatched it recently. There are a plethora of reasons for this.

Unlike a lot of people I actually find Mikey Rourke’s Whiplash to be an interesting villain and Sam Rockwell is a lot of fun as Tony’s jealous rival. Are they the best written of all the MCU villains? No of course not, but I enjoyed Rourke’s cartoonish evil performance, and Rockwell’s pathetic yet trying to pretend not to be character. I found both amusing.

Moreover, I really like what they do with Rhodey, Don Cheadle, here. I am a big War Machine fan and I like when they have the final showdown with the two of them just going to town on all those drones. I think across the tapestry of the MCU Rhodey has been deprived of anything even close to a cool moment, and this is as good as it gets for him. I thought the final scene of Tony, Rhodey and Pepper, Gwyneth Paltrow, on the roof together was hilarious and a good indication of things to come.

However, something that does become more uncomfortably apparent when rewatching is just how much of a creep Tony Stark is. As a kid watching these films in the cinema Tony was my favourite character but watching them again now you notice how he is around women. Not only is he a misogynist, but he also literally only sees the women around him as sexual objects, for an example of what I am talking about one simply has to look at how he treats Natasha Romanoff, Scarlett Johansson, when they first meet, and he thinks she is just one of his employees. He is a creep.

Overall, I like it a lot more than a lot of other people, but I can see its flaws.

Pros.

Rhodey

The final fight

The roof top scene

Cons.

Tony is a creep

How they introduce Black Widow

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The Visit: The Grandparents Aren’t All Right

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two children who have never met their grandparents before are send to go and stay with them for a week, however, once they get their they start noticing their Grandparents behaving strangely- this quickly escalates.

In my mind this is Shyamalan’s best film, easily. Yes, there will be many out there that will make a case for Signs or The Sixth Sense, but I truly believe this is the man at his finest. Every aspect of the film works in perfect harmony, with the film feeling like something other than the twist is being built to. This is a common issue with Shyamalan’s work as often the films feel built around the twist and as such can’t function without it, which is bad writing, however, here the events of the film could work without the twist and the twist itself feels like it only enhances the strangeness further.

I enjoyed the tension and the slowly growing unease throughout. I thought the film showed great promise when it made seemingly every day activities that anyone would do with their elderly relatives feel some how off-kilter, this is of course ramped up as the film continues but never ends up feeling over the top.

The performances are mostly good. With Child actors one never goes in expecting much, but I thought both leads were passable. The one thing I will say is Ed Oxenbould does have moments where he becomes annoying, such as the rapping scenes or when he has to call out a female singers name instead of swearing, though there is some unintentional comedy in there to.

Overall, probably my favourite Shyamalan film.

Pros.

The twist

The tension in the seemingly ordinary

The ending

A few solid jokes

Cons.

The rapping is annoying

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The Incredible Hulk: The Black Sheep Of The MCU

2.5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Bruce Banner, Edward Norton, is on a quest to calm the beast inside whilst being perused by the US government who is keen to experiment on him.

Yes, I finally got around to watching this.

For many it is a toss up between this film and Thor The Dark World for worst film in the MCU, with some even going so far as to want this be made noncanonical and though I think that is a slight over reaction I can see where they are coming from.

Now though this film is not terrible, it is also by no means good. It lacks a lot of the things that make a Marvel film good, the heart, the likeable characters, the cameos. These missing elements are only made worse by the fact the every time the Hulk is on-screen you are horrified by how poor the effects look.

It is not the worst film I have ever seen and there are even moments where the film is watchable, but these are too few and far between. I liked seeing Hulk on the run, but then we just get bombarded with scene after lifeless scene of Hulk fighting generic army tropes throughout the film and it doesn’t get any more interesting if anything it goes the other way.

Overall, a lesser quality to what came before and after.

Pros.

It is watchable

The fight Hulk fight scene is interesting and cool and then after that it all just becomes more of the same

Cons.

It is boring

None of the characters are hugely likeable

Plot holes on top of plot holes

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13 Going On 30: Taking Advantage

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young uncool teen wishes themselves into the body of a thirty year old so that they can finally have the life they always wanted.

The premise of this film is icky as hell. This film places this girl in the body of a woman in many sexual situations where she is uncomfortable and does not know what to do and then plays it off as a joke. Worse yet it gives her a romance arc, where the thirty year old version of her friend who has a crush on her, pursues a romantic relationship with her, despite her being the younger version of herself: and the film wants us to cheer for this……..

How exactly is this film supposed to be a classic?

I think these glaring issues are made all the worse by the fact that Jennifer Garner plays the character with such a sense of childlike innocents and naivety, which only compounds the problematic elements further.

The only reason this film doesn’t get lower from me is the fact that there are a few funny lines, albeit unintentionally. I found myself laughing quite a few times during the film which helped me get through the horror show that the rest of it is. A very poorly thought out idea.

Overall, troublesome.

Pros.

Unintentionally funny

Cons.

It is problematic

The central romance is icky and weird

The ending

Garner

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Guardians Of The Galaxy: The Quest For The Ultimate Mix Tape

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Peter Quill, Chris Pratt, is abducted as a child and taken into space. Years later he has become a rogue of the galaxy going by the name Star Lord, this all changes when his quest for an infinity stone brings him into contact with a group of people who would go on to become his family.

I think the often complained about, even by myself, Marvel sense of humour really helps these films on a rewatch. This is my first time rewatching Guardians Of The Galaxy since I first saw it in the cinema all those years ago, and you know what it actually holds up fairly well.

I think the strongest element of the film is certainly the family dynamic between the characters with each having key emotional moments along the way that really help to open them up as characters and help us the audience relate to them. Each character is loveable in their own way, each has the potential to easily be someone’s favourite.

Sadly however, the same can’t be said for the films antagonists who are left fairly cookie cutter generic. I don’t think anyone will ever say that Ronan is their favourite Marvel villain because he just has no personality beyond being evil and wanting to commit genocide. The oversimplification of the villain’s motivations really is the issue here and with a lot of early Marvel films. To have an interesting film you need an interesting and compelling villain.

The jokes I thought worked mostly well here, though I would say the film isn’t as funny as something like Antman, certainly there were more misses here and a few scenes that should have been played for laughs really weren’t.

Overall, a good Marvel film though one let down my a poor villain and not always hilarious jokes.

Pros.

The emotion

The family dynamic

Yondu

The soundtrack

Cons.

A weak villain

Inconsistent jokes

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The Suicide Squad: Rats Save The Day

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Taskforce X are back with another suicide mission to shave some time off their prison sentences, this time looking to destroy a research project being conducted by a non US friendly Southern American Country.

Some out there on the internet are trying to create a moral outcry about this film, whilst others are loving it, so, where do I fall? Closer to the latter but with notes.

Firstly and lets just get this out of the way, this is not a family film, this is not a film you can watch at a family party or all gathered round the TV; the age rating really should have given that away. Many people online seem shocked by what they are hearing about the content in this film, and clearly they have never red a Suicide Squad comic book in their lives.

Yes, this film is very true to the comics featuring all the death, gore and general unpleasantness that you would expect. However, in my mind it does go too far but only in one respect: that is of course the birds. This film does not like birds, in the opening scene we see one mashed with a ball and then later on we see a bunch of them set on fire, now obviously this is all fake, but still as someone who likes animals this was a little uncomfortable to watch and I felt like the film lingered on it for a bit too long each time.

In terms of characters Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2 was my favourite, I thought she perfectly embodied the hopeful silliness of the film down to the bone. Moreover, I liked the relationship between her and Idris Elba’s Bloodsport. I thought the surrogate father daughter dynamic worked well and helped to push both of their character arcs along nicely. Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn is better here, and less obnoxiously all over the place as she was in Birds Of Prey, I do think Harley works best as part of a team, rather than being the centre of basically a solo film.

Overall, a good film and certainly one of DC’s best, it would have been getting five from me if it weren’t for the birds; but that is a personal thing to me.

Pros.

Melchior

The jokes

The character moments/ growth

The violence

Cons.

I don’t like seeing a bird mushed by a ball and then having the shot linger on it

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Gates: A Stroll Through The Kentish Countryside

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Estranged sisters reconnect during a trip through the Kentish countryside, all the while the spector of past trauma stalks them from the shadows.

I found this film to be deeply moving. I thought the bond between the sisters and how it grows over the course of the film is life affirming, serving to remind you that no matter how bad a situation seems it can always improve. Furthermore, the pair are very convincing in their roles with both Iona Champain and Lily Walbeoffe delivering solid performances that have you fully believing in them as sisters.

I think the biggest pro of this film is it’s ability to connect with the audience on a personal level and be reflective of the human experience, the struggles and the pain. This is beautifully paired and reflected by the Kentish countryside. The pathetic fallacy is strong here and each scene has a message reflected in the setting, which adds to the second meaning of the film when red on a deeper level.

My only critique of the film is that it has pacing issues. Despite a relatively short run time this film feels longer, and it really shouldn’t. Most of this film feels very needed and is well paced and structured however, a few scenes carry on longer than they should, and it is in these moments where the pacing issues become apparent.

Overall, an emotionally powerful film.

Pros.

The performances

The use of setting

The dialogue

The ending

Cons.

A few pacing issues and overly bloated scenes

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Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: A Circus In Pandemonium

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

There is a mole somewhere in British intelligence and a veteran intelligence officer is brought out of retirement to find out who it is.

This film is basically a who’s who of older British leading men they are all there and are all excellent. I thought it was nice to see Colin Firth and Mark Strong share the screen together, several years before they would do so superbly in the first Kingsman film, they have great chemistry. I think Gary Oldman ends up stealing the show with this performance, though it is a very close race as there is a lot of talent on display here.

I found the mystery to be engaging and surprisingly well structured, it kept me guessing right up until the end, I did not figure it out. I thought the reveal we got was satisfying in the end, though I thought the tease we got throughout the film of who could it be, With each agent looking guilty at different times was equally as enjoyable.

I found the film to be paced well for the most part with the mystery being enough to keep me engaged throughout, with the reveals and revelations being spread out enough for each section of the film to feel like it matters. The one thing I would say is that there are a few dialogue scenes in the midsection of the film that do run a bit long in terms of keeping you, or at least me, interested, they could have done with being shortened.

Overall, a strong British spy mystery film.

Pros.

The acting

The mystery

The pacing

Oldman steals the show

Cons.

A few slow dialogue scenes

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The Sparks Brothers: Committed To The Music

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A look at the career so far of the Sparks Brothers, known more widely as the rock duo Sparks.

This documentary made me aware of and listen to Sparks for the first time so in that regard it is a huge success. I found the documentary to be different to the standard life of x musician fare that often clogs up the genre and thought that this was a breath of fresh air. I enjoyed the more out there and experimental visuals that this film employs to relay its history to us, it made everything pop just that bit more and become more memorable.

I thought the documentary did a very thorough job of covering the lives and careers of the Brothers Mael and its attention to detail really helps to paint a picture for us the audience, helping us to better understand the brothers both as artists and as people. I also enjoyed the various famous faces giving their own stories about how the brothers have impacted them in separate ways. It is clear to see that a personal attachment has been made.

The strongest part of this film is by far its soundtrack. Even if like me you start this film not knowing who or what Sparks is, by the end you will be dancing along. I found myself being given an auditory crash course on all things Sparks as I learnt about the life and times of its members, it was a very effective conversion; like I said earlier, I have since been listening to them fairly often since watching.

My one criticism, and it is fairly large, is that this film is on for far too long. Though I enjoyed the presentation and the soundtrack and the story itself I feel it could have been condensed down. What we are presented with is simply too long, and though I was still enjoying the music by the end my mind was elsewhere.

Overall, a good music documentary that manages to separate itself from the pack, though it could have done with being shorter.

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Transformers The Last Knight: Everyone You Have Learnt About In History Class Was In Fact A Transformer

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Transformers meets King Arthur Legend Of The Sword.

What is this film? To me this film feels like about three or maybe even four separate film pitches crammed into one film, because why not. There is no reason at all that this film is on for over two and a half hours it does not have the story for it, and it is beyond indulgent. A tip for time conservative readers, start the film from about forty five minutes in, you wouldn’t miss much, and you will easily be able to work out what is going on- which is nonsense bang bang.

However, that is not to say this film is all bad. For reasons I don’t fully understand or want to think much about, I actually found parts of this enjoyable to watch. It helps if you take this film as a joke, view it as a comedy or a parody and it becomes much easier to watch. I found the idea of Transformers throughout time to be interesting and I would like to see more of that. Moreover, when the film finally allows us to spend some time with Optimus Prime, when he is not evil, he hits the emotional heart strings and the nostalgia just right.

Mark Wahlberg is fine. However, the real star of the show is Laura Haddock. Haddock has been excellent for some time now however she is yet to make it big in Hollywood, yes, she was in this and Guardians, but in this she is second fiddle to Wahlberg and in the latter she is in the film for all of five minutes. Cast her more because she is excellent is my point, watch Da Vinci’s Demons. She does scene steal a lot and has quite a few funny and memorable lines. My one criticism is that the camera does like to ogle her and she is dressed for parts of the film in a way to appeal to Michael Bay’s core audience, teen boys, and I wish this wasn’t the case. The character is actually quite well written and funny, it is a shame the film objectifies her, but this is a Bay film so what did you or I expect?

Overall, not as bad as you have heard but certainly not good either. My main take away from this film is that I would like to see an actually good King Arthur film, preferably with Laura Haddock in a large role.

Pros.

Haddock

Optimus Prime, when he is good

The ending/ the dumb silliness of it all

Cons.

It is way too bloated

It is icky towards Haddock

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