The Testament Of Ann Lee: Shaking Your Way To The Lord

Summary, Ann Lee, Amanda Seyfried, believes herself to be the female reincarnation of the Messiah during the period of the Great Awakening.

This film will be divisive, it was an art film in the truest sense, it is pretentious and it likes symbolism. That will put people off. It is a musical about a very depressing subject matter, and has uncomfortable sexual moments throughout, this will put off people. Then there is the fact that it’s about the Shakers, a Christian sect, and other types of Christians might find some of the things in this film to be heretical, which will put people off. If you make it through all that you’ll find an interesting and original film.

Yes the accents were God awful, but the film tried to do something a bit different, and take what could have been a very heavy and depressing story and make it more engaging and compelling.

The music also oddly works.

Overall, this is a win for Ms Seyfried.

3.5/5

Pros.

It does something different

The music

It is an interesting story

The sheer art-cinemaness of it

Cons.

The pacing

There are a lot of things that can put you off the film

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The Bride: The Most Brutal Curb Stop Since American History X

Summary, a new take on the Bride of Frankenstein.

It seems no matter where you go people didn’t like this film, to some it is too feminist, to others the Bride is unlikeable etc. Regardless, this film was an enjoyable take on the character.

Jessie Buckley’s manic monologues were a bad choice for sure, but her character wasn’t unlikeable or too feminist as others say. She was a real person who had suffered greatly at the hands of the world and wanted someone to pay, she developed a real love for Frankenstein, Christian Bale, over the course of the film and this was quite affecting on screen.

Stylistically the film was all over the place, and tried to be an art film and also something more commercial, not realising you can’t be both. It was very apparent as you were watching, that it was made by an early career director, but everyone has to start somewhere and this was perfectly serviceable.

Overall, not as bad as you’ve heard, but surely not one to rush out to either.

2.5/5

Pros.

The style mostly works

The Bonnie and Clyde feel of it

The ending

Cons.

The odd monologues

The pacing was off

It felt totally confused at times

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Missing Child Video Tape: A Mountain of Madness

Summary, after his brother went missing many years ago at the summit of a mysterious mountain a Japanese man and his roommate go on a journey to try and find him.

As far as ghost stories go this was quite effective, there were a number of twists and turns wherein your expectations are subverted, for example there was a time when it appeared as though the lead had killed his brother. The ending needed further clarity however, as the ending implied a number of things but nothing really directly. This was likely done so you could imagine the ending yourself and have your own interpretation however, it would have been nicer if there could have been more of a structured answer.

It does atmospheric well, and the horror mainly comes from creepy moments, and the overall vibe rather than from jump scares. If that is what you’re looking for arguably this is not the film for you.

An effective J-Horror film let down somewhat by its ending.

3/5

Pros.

The atmosphere

The scares

The twists and turns

Cons.

The ending

The pacing

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Cold Storage: Being Named After A Biscuit

Summary, a couple of storage workers accidentally release a deadly alien organism.

In a post Stranger Things world, it is noticeable that Joe Keery is trying to stay in the genre space. This in many ways felt very similar to older genre stuff such as Hole or something of that nature wherein it isn’t quite YA but is softer horror.

Keery was a likeable enough lead and anchored the film but it was a shame the film didn’t give us more of Liam Nesson considering he was the big name on the poster.

The film isn’t scary so much as it is gross, and if that’s what you’re into then you’ll enjoy this film. It is enjoyable but not really as a horror film.

Overall, fun and not much more

3.5/5

Pros.

Keery

The little we get of Nesson

It’s a nice little adventure

Its well paced

Cons.

It doesn’t really work as a horror film

The leads have no chemistry

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Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die: A Bit Too Close For Comfort

Summary: A man comes back from the future to stop a merciless AI.

Whilst this may sound like a retread of Terminator, there is enough savvy and spot on commentary here to make this it’s own fresh hell. The comments about teens and the whole side plot about school shootings was incredibly timely and needed, it was surprising to see the film go there.

The ending which also takes a dark turn works well, as it keeps the idea going, and doesn’t give it an easy happy ending to wrap it up with. The fact remains that as the characters say AI is inevitable, the only thing that really can be done is to put up barriers to try and protect ourselves.

Overall, likely the second best film of the year.

4/5

Pros.

It’s funny

It’s timely

The cast work well together

The science fiction concept is great

Cons.

It has some rather bleak moments

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Hoppers: Pixar Is Trying To Indoctrinate Your Kids

A young woman decides to make her grief everyone else’s problem.

So this film shows that Pixar learnt absolutely nothing from previous failures and that it is going to continue to be preachy and force in left wing messaging into kids films. The oddness here is the messaging would clearly go over a child’s head, some of it is high concept so they are just trying to pander to the parents who have been forced to see the film. The whole film goes on and on about environmentalism, so get ready for that.

The film itself would be quite distressing for kids, you see a number of scenes that play upon the fact that the lead’s Grandmother recently died and you have that emotional manipulation from Pixar. You also have scenes of small animals looking in danger or being distressed to traumatise little kids if that was not enough.

On top of that the lead is incredibly unlikeable. She makes everything about her, she wants to keep the glade open, she feels angry, she is grieving etc. She uses people and the Mammal King in order to achieve her own ends but we are supposed to root for her. It shows you the modern Hollywood morality where they are like ‘she has a righteous cause who cares if she is a good person she automatically is as she cares about what we care about’.

Don’t let the focus on talking animals trick you, that is just a gimmick to push political messaging.

1.5/5

Pros.

The Mammal King

Some of the sillier aspects

Cons.

The political messaging

The deeply unlikable lead

The emotional manipulation

The scenes of animal distress

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Scream 7: Free Scream From Melissa Barrera

Summary: The franchise goes back to it’s roots and brings back Sidney, Neve Campbell.

So we’ll say this up front, a hell of a lot of the reviews aren’t talking about the film at all they are talking about politics. They don’t like that Melissa Barrera was fired for abhorrent political views and think trashing the film now will give her some retribution? Anyway, if they want to destroy their own credibility then fine, but for us it’s on with the show.

So for the most part this was an enjoyable film, it was good to see Sidney again, I would have liked slightly more Gale but it was still a cheer worthy moment when she came back, taking down the killer.

It would have been a better pay off if Stu was in fact the killer, even with the weird amnesia angle, as it stood it is a little underwhelming when they reveal who the killers are. However, it works in a meta sense if you think the fans are the killer, the fans’ demand for Sidney to come back etc. If you think about it like that it still works. There is a good chance they may actually bring back Stu for Scream 8.

The teens weren’t given a whole lot to do, and were all distractingly old for teens, Isabel May specifically. The ending that had her follow in her mother’s survivor footsteps was good, however, the relationship between her and Sidney was a bit wooden, there could have been more done to make that feel real and human.

Overall, fun and enjoyable with only a few minor issues.

4/5

Pros.

The focus on Sidney

The ending transformation of Tatum

Joel McHale stole the scenes he was in

Gale’s entrance

Cons.

The reveal is a little weak, but works in a meta sense.

Isabel May needs to be less wooden

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No Other Choice: Eat Sleep Work Repeat

Summary A man loses his job and then goes to extreme circumstances to make sure that he gets a new one.

This film works as a comedy, and is genuinely funny, but it also works on a commentary on working in the modern age and the idea of personal shame that comes with the idea of not working. Despite living in a society where men are no longer needed to be the sole provider for a family, the idea of being a bread winner for your family and then losing that and the feeling of uselessness that comes with it is a universal theme

The dark comedy elements such as the turn towards murder also work here as they play off the hopeless themes well and created a certain sense of absurdity that fuels the film.

Overall, a film that a lot of people will be able to relate to as it reflects a very common human experience.

4/5

Pros

It’s funny

It’s relatable

The absurdity of it

It has a novel concept

Cons.

The third act goes on for a little too long

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Crime 101: Oceans 14

Summary: A thief ends up at the centre of a complicated web.

I ended up liking this film more than I thought I would going in, there is definitely some charm here and I think it has very much an Oceans sort of energy, sure Hemsworth’s character is a thief but he’s likeable.

I thought the supporting cast all were effective in their roles, yes even the stain of a person that is Mark Ruffalo. Everyone had their role to play, though I would say Berry wasn’t given all that much to do.

The thriller aspects of it worked well, it felt like there was a net closing in around Hemsworth’s character throughout most of the film.

Overall, a fun time at the cinema.

3/5

Pros.

It was charming

It was fun

It was well paced

Cons.

Berry could have been given more to do

A little more character development could have helped

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Whistle: This is starting to get old

Summary: We’ve had ouija boards, we have had severed hand games, and now we have a film about a death whistle.

It is starting to get old now, all of these films are the same, a group of teens find something supernatural and it starts picking them off one by one. Basically slasher by item rather than having an actual slasher.

There is also a very prominent lesbian romance which there wouldn’t be an issue with if it wasn’t so forced. Best shown through stilted dialogue wherein Dafne Keen’s character asks her cousin if a girl is straight as though he knows the sexuality of every girl in school

The issue with this film as a horror film is that it has no hook. It is simply people seeing how they’ll die and then that coming for them as older versions of the characters themselves, it has elements of Final Destination but without any of the charm.

Overall, it is watchable but it is starting to get boring.

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable

A couple of good deaths

Cons.

A strange side plot about a youth pastor

It is dull

It has been done before

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