Avatar Fire and Ash: The Law Of Diminishing Returns

An argument could be made that James Cameron has not been a good filmmaker since the turn of the century. His films in the last two and a half decades have not been well written, or well put together, but hey they have done an awful lot to bring 3-D back, oh wait, and they have made digital effects better, they have looked the same in all of his Avatar offerings. He should just retire.

Avatar as a franchise, it should never have been, is in a pattern of diminished returns with the second film making less than the first unadjusted for inflation, with the third expected to make less than the second and you can see why.

In many ways this film reskins things from the second film, one or two new added components. For example take the big water battle at the end of the film, Way of the Water had a very similar battle the only difference is now the Ash clan are also there. Quaritch as a villain is also going through the motions, his character growth in Way of the Water is seemingly retread as he once again has to way his loyalties, at the end of the Fire and Ash he just randomly throws himself to his death, no explanation, that is the depth of the writing here.

There are two unforgivable elements about this film that in my mind show that James Cameron has lost any magic he once had. Firstly, is the horribly written dialogue which is some of the most cringe dialogue I have ever heard, all of the kids in the film, and you spend far too much time with them, talk like human influencers, ‘bro’ being the default response to any question. If you want to make this film more interesting drink every time a character says bro and you will be passed out before the first hour. You also have ‘cuzz’ for some variety. James Cameron clearly doesn’t know young people and doesn’t know to write for them. Secondly is the pacing, which feels more like you’re enduring a torture session than watching a film. Who needs a three hour plus film filled with side stories that you don’t care about that then repeats the same plot beats over and over again. Increasingly it seems based on how low effort things are here that not even James Cameron wants to sit through it.

The only positive I have for it is that Varrang is an interesting new character and I would like to find out more about her fire-bending abilities, not at all ripped off, and that is it.

Overall, not everything needs to be a franchise, James Cameron should retire.

1/5

Pros.

Varrang.

Cons.

It is cringe

It is too long

It has too many needless side stories

It rehashes elements from Way of the Water

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A Christmas Story: Trump’s America

Summary

Loud and obnoxious.

Those are the two words that define A Christmas Story. The kids are loud and obnoxious. In many ways they are the American stereotype loud, obnoxious and self-entitled. They also run away when their friends are in trouble, but hey that just seems to be this current administration.

This film felt like it was made on cocaine, as there was a lot of random scenes that didn’t make sense, they were almost cartoony which did not work within the film itself, it almost felt like Family Guy cut aways. Moreover, the level of consumerism that was rampant throughout the film was sickening, yes Christmas is a consumerist holiday, but that doesn’t mean we have to fetishize specific items, or that that should be encouraged in children.

There is also a really unpleasant domestic abuse undertone in this film, wherein the mother and the kids seem genuinely terrified of the father, this isn’t like normal discipline this is a child worrying that they would die if their father heard they had done something wrong and the film presenting this as a rational worry not a kid being ridiculous.

Overall, an unpleasant film that shows why foreigners have a never impression of America.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

Cons.

It is obnoxious

The materialism

The domestic abuse vibe

It is depressing

It is weird tone wise

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The House Maid: The Most Shocking Thing Is Seeing Sydney Sweeney Eat A Fat Sandwhich

Summary

Amanda Seyfried won’t apologize for calling Charlie Kirk hateful even after he died, nor will she apologise for starring in this slop.

Female slop is the easiest way to categorise this film, it is like one of those cheap romance/crime novels you can pick up from any supermarket made for the mass market, and mainly used for Instagram stories to show people what you are reading. The twists and turns are incredibly predictable, if you have ever watched a thriller, drama, or have the imagination of anyone over the age of 6 I am sure you can see where it is going from the start of the film. It feels like a big budget CW made for TV film, except it doesn’t star teens, it stars older actors who should know better.

The film itself is long and bloated, and feels like a film that is so afraid of actually going there and giving you something new that it just reheats greasy left overs it knows will make you smile at first but be sick later. When the film tries to shock you it just reminds you how dumb it assumes you as an audience member are.

Neither Sweeny nor Seyfried can do much to liven the film up and don’t even seem interested in trying.

Overall, yet more slop from Hollywood.

1/5

Pros

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

It is predictable

It is boring

It is safe

Neither of the actresses want to be there.

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Chirsty: The Left Will Only Support Films About Lesbians If They Star Left Wing Luvvies

Summary

Sydney Sweeny takes on the role of a legendary boxer.

This film was hard to find for me thank goodness for the internet.

This film reminded me somewhat of Sweeny’s turn when she played a whistleblower facing her life being destroyed around her, I feel like she really does have a great propensity for dramatic work and is more than just her body. I think she delivers a solid performance here, despite, what washed up has been Ruby Rose has to say about it.

Throughout the film you really emote with Sweeny’s lead and feel for her and her situation, particularly in the second act of the film, it works as a sports film in the way that the journey and the personal struggle become the thing that defines the film, and the main thing that makes you as an audience member enjoy it. I wouldn’t quite call it Rocky in terms of being inspiring, but I would say it is a lot more real.

I think the main reason this film is not getting more attention is due to the perception that Sydney Sweeny is right wing and so is being shunned by a lot of the film journalists that would normally call something like this stunning and brave.

Overall, Sweeny is good and the film works well as an inspiring sports film with harsh dramatic turns.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is inspiring

You believe the personal struggle

Sweeny is good

It is well paced

Cons.

It does get a bit depressing at times

The third act needed tightening

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Fackham Hall: Jimmy Carr Becomes A Saud

Summary

Saudi Arabia’s favourite son Jimmy Carr brings back the spoof film and decides to spoof the most timely of genre’s the period film.

This film serves one purpose as far as I am concerned it shows why the parody film died and why it should not be brought back. It’s humour is juvenile and repetitive, it even has a misunderstanding of someone’s last name being what, which is the most played out joke possibly ever. The film didn’t make me laugh once. I laughed more as I saw Jimmy Carr had removed the Saudi gig from his tour schedule.

This film could be a British nasty that tarnishes our reputation, I say as a native, not as someone who lives there anymore, much like the Catherine Tate Granny movie from a few years ago. However, it ropes in some actual talent, God knows how, and manages to tarnish all of their reputation as well. You have Katherine Waterston, and Damien Lewis who both have prominent roles here, and yet will likely regret it until their dying day.

There is something also incredibly dated about fixating your mockery on a genre that is basically none existent anymore.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons

It is not funny

It is irritating

It is dated

It has weak performances

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The Stupids: Mocking The Mentally Disabled

Summary

A film that shows slop is not a modern concept.

So this film is called the Stupid’s so you expect a level of stupidity, but not the aggressive level that this film presents you with. Maybe something more akin to Naked Gun or Mr Magoo, but no here the writing is as dumb as the characters are. Landis has tried to defend this in later years by saying it was aimed at kids, that might be so but why assume those kids are dumb?

There are scenes wherein it almost feels like this film is mocking the disabled, in many ways how these characters are could be considered medically slow or stupid, especially with how they interact with the world as such the film wanting you to laugh at them feels mean-spirited like when Adam Sandler does his learning disabled impression. Maybe cruel comedy worked better back in the nighties.

Where a film like Elf, also aimed at kids, works where this doesn’t is that whilst you could argue the film presents Ferrell’s character, as learning disabled quite clearly, the film wants you to root for and laugh with Buddy rather than at him. Whereas herein the film wants you to laugh at the central family.

Overall, this is probably best left to the dustbin of history.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is mercifully short

Cons.

It is irritating

It is mean spirited

It wastes a good cast

It assumes kids are dumb

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The Karate Kid: THE Sports Movie

Summary

The Karate Kid is born.

Honestly this film should have been a one off, as you can tell from my other reviews of the franchise the rest of the Daniel run are not good and get steadily worse.

This film works well as not only does it have all the standard beats of a sports movie, but it also has a lot of emotional depth for Mr Miyagi and makes him a rounded character, they could have relied on racist stereotypes and cliches but they didn’t for the most part.

I thought the bullying storyline was very played out even for the time period it came out, but I did like the evolution of the fight your bully and stand up for yourself storyline turning it into this grand sporting event. Doing this allowed the film to feel a little like the later Rocky films but on a smaller scale as its aimed at kids.

Daniel works as a blank slate that you can project yourself onto as a kid, rather than how he gets in the later films.

Overall, a solid teen sports movie with its heart in the right place.

3/5

Pros.

It is a good sports film

It has a good soundtrack

It is fun

Cons.

Some elements are generic

Its predictable

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Moonies Married To The Cult: A Documentary That Teaches You Nothing

Summary

A documentary about the secretive Moonies organization.

This felt like a very surface level documentary, in terms of the fact it covered a lot of things in not much depth. Not only did it assume at the start of the documentary that you already had a working knowledge of who the Moonies are, but it then presented a scatter shot approach to its topic, jumping back and forth between a lot of different points not spending much time with any of them.

It also doesn’t spend much time with more high profile things related to the Moonies such as the death of the former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, and brushes over a number of these sort of things. It makes one question whether they may have had more material they were forced to drop, or maybe they originally planned it to be a series but then it got turned into a film. It is hard to say but one thing is for sure, it does not give you much of an in-depth look or understanding into the group.

It also has what I like to call Netflix witness/expert syndrome, wherein a documentary has a lot of talking heads who are just regular people, who had experiences with the Moonies, but doesn’t balance that out by including experts to contextualise things. When a documentary leans more heavily on ‘I was there’ testimony rather than having expert opinions it immediately loses credibility and is also far less engaging.

This feels like it was made for the short attention span having youths who want a mass market somewhat true crime documentary.

Overall, weak and fairly boring.

2/5

Pros.

I’ve seen worse, at least it had decent production values

It has some really interesting threads that it just doesn’t explore.

Cons.

It wastes one or two great witnesses

It is far too surface level

It jumps between too many things

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Wake Up Dead Man Knives Out Three: The End Of A Deal

Summary

Rian Johnson gives up.

The first Knives Out film was good, the second was bad, but the third is meh. Whilst it is better than the second film which was out and out trash, it is an effort in passive watching and little more. By that I mean the film feels very low energy and as though it was done just to make another one rather than out of a genuinely good idea, or need.

Josh Brolin commands the film admirably, but everyone else is just turning out for the pay check, even Craig’s fateful inspector feels like a flanderised version of himself from the previous films. Craig’s Blanc feels at times almost cartoonishly impotent or incompetent, and behaves at times in a way that is entirely alien to how we have seen him up until that point. Bad character writing.

The commentary of the film is on religion and how it divides us, but I suppose if done in a more effeminate way, is still good I guess, would arguably be the message of the film. Personally, I am not very religious, but I can imagine how if you were you might find elements of this film highly objectionable.

Overall, this feels like it was done to satisfy the Netflix demand for new content and not out of need, or due to some great new idea.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

Brolin

It has a few laughs

Cons.

There are too many underdeveloped characters

The preaching

It feels purposeless

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Home Alone Three: Fighting Terrorists With Toys

Summary

We remove, Macaulay Culkin, we replace burglars with terrorists, and we have it so the child is only home alone whilst there mother nips to the office. Is it even still Home Alone?

For me personally I prefer the traps section in this film to either of the earlier efforts as it truly feels like this one went all out and gave us this idea taken to its fullest. Perhaps this is gimmicky but to me it worked.

The child is not as affable as Kevin and the family feel like an imitation but at least the traps are good. It was odd that the mother seemed almost modelled after Catherine O’Hara, but I suppose John Hughes did have a type.

I thought the parrot had a number of good moments and brought some levity to the film, though I must say that even it got to a point wherein I felt was becoming a bit of a crutch for the film ultimately.

Overall, there is still some charm to be had here particularly if you like the traps however, I would say that it is not as good as the other two films as films and feels like a made for streaming movie, though in its time it would more likely be a straight to video film.

2.5/5

Pros.

The traps

The parrot

A few funny moments

Cons.

The plot is worse

The terrorists stuff is ridiculous

It lacks the charm

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