The Witcher Nightmare Of The Wolf: Netflix Needs A New Animation Style

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vesemir, voiced by Theo James, becomes wrapped up in a frightening series of monster attacks that seem different to anything he has ever encountered before.

Why do all of Netflix’s animated offerings look the same? I am not saying the art style doesn’t work, but I am saying that I want more diversity and variation within their animated output. I don’t like the fact you can’t tell this apart from Castlevania.

Moreover, the storyline here is so trite that I question anyone’s need to watch this film as they have seen it all before. Hated group has to work with those that hate them and then those that hate them turn on them it is so played out. I am a big fan of the Witcher books/games/TV show and as such I know that this storyline could have been done better. The evil mage who is anti-Witcher is so clear cut the twist reveal of oh actually she is evil doesn’t work as you already knew it, and it feels like the film gives it away early on.

Whatsmore, the tag at the end that showed Geralt felt ham-fisted. We all know where the story is going, we all know that Geralt is coming, however stuffing him in here feels like badly done fan service.

Overall, deeply bog standard.

Pros.

The fight scenes

A deeper look into Witcher lore
Theo James as Vesemir

Cons.

The end sting

The animation style and its overuse

The bland story

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The Green Knight: Someone Needs To Learn To Wash His Hands, Or At least Wipe Them

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Sir Gawain, Dev Patel, sets out to meet the challenge of the sinister and mysterious Green Knight in a reimaging of King Arthur mythos.

The biggest pro this film has going for it is that it is original. I have never seen anything quite like this before, it is not quite a fantasy film, not quite a horror film- it is hard to place. To describe the film in a word would be to say ‘strange’, however in the best sort of way.

I enjoyed the exploration of masculinity, heroism and religion, whereby the film questioned the value of and then further examined each. Furthermore, I liked that film did do much to explain or define what the Green Knight is, it kept things mysterious which works a lot better and allows our collective imaginations to have over and fill in the blanks.

Moreover, Dev Patel is perfectly suited to the role and the film itself extracts his best qualities as an actor and put them proudly on display. It plays off the idea that Patel may not be the traditional leading man, his character is often overlooked by the other knights and seen as lesser because he hasn’t been on gallant adventures, this need to prove himself will prove his downfall. Patel manages a full gambit of emotions here and his performance never fails to both shock and delight.

My only real issue with the film is that because of the artsy way it presents itself it can often be hard to tell what is going on. There were a number of scenes where I was slightly puzzled as to what was happening as it didn’t seem to line up with other parts of the film, this is a deliberate choice, but it wasn’t to my taste.

Pros.

Dev Patel

The Green Knight

The horror elements

The message

Cons.

The artsy confusing elements

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Space Jam 2: Blatant Product Placement Strangely Works Here

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I will admit I went into this with very, very low expectation. However, the film completely took me by surprise and I actually ended up really enjoying it. Yes, the film is a blatant excuse by the higher ups at WB to constantly advertise all their various properties, and yes it is excessive with the product placement, but in a strange way it all works well.

I think the reason this film works so well is because of how self-aware it is, it knows what it is, it knows what it is doing, and it makes a joke out of it. Honestly, this film is quite funny in a lot of places and it often has you laughing or at least smiling. Yes, there are a few cringey lines here and there, but they aren’t bad cringe and some of these lines prove to be amongst the funniest.

Lebron James is by no means a natural actor, but he is very watchable, and I would say he does a better job than Michael Jordan in the first film. I believed his bond with his son and in that respect I found the ending of the film to be surprisingly touching. Additionally, James has strong chemistry with the Tunes and him and Bugs are a good pairing. I would like this film to get a sequel so we can get more of them together.

In terms of being a Looney Tunes property this modernised the characters well and gave them a compelling motivation to help James and in doing so return to the court. The one comment I would make in this regard is that this is very much a Bugs Bunny film, and though the other well known characters appear he gets pretty much all of the screen time. Bugs ending runs the gambit between heart breaking and cheer-worthy, and you feel every minute of it.

Overall, the strongly negative response this film has brought out from a lot of people seems to be out of a sense of nostalgia, they are comparing this to the first film that they make have childhood connections with and viewing it like that this film never could have lived up. However, I think not only is this a good film, but I would say it is even better than the first.

Pros.

James

The Tunes characters

The emotions

The jokes

Cons.

It is a little blatant with the product placement

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Gods Of Egypt: I Don’t Remember The Egyptian God’s Having Scottish Accents Coming Up In History Class

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I remember when this came out and instantly joined everyone’s worst of that year lists, I didn’t see it at the time, but now years later I have finally got around to seeing it and it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.

So firstly lets get this straight off the bat the film is problematic for a number of reasons. All the Egyptian characters with the exception of a few are white, and to be even more insulting these Egyptian gods are also white for the most part; and in one case Scottish. Moreover, one of the few female characters in the film Elodie Yung’s Hathor is trotted around like a piece of meat barely wearing anything at all. The character even comments on what they are wearing, but that does not make it better or the film any less creepy.

That said, if you view this film more as a comedy than an actual action film then this film is passably watchable. It all makes no sense and the characters themselves are all over the place, but if you turn your brain off it is dumb fun.

I found Nikolaj Coster-Waldu to be as entertaining as ever, and I thought he was easily the high point of the film. The other male lead was widely forgettable, and I can barely remember anything about him to put in this review. Yung has good chemistry with everyone on-screen, but you can’t shake the feeling the film wants her to be ogled in the creepiest way. Butler is just playing his usual on-screen persona now just with more fake tan and eye liner.

Furthermore, a final thing to note, I found the decision to have all the God characters be bigger than their mortal counterparts to be oddly jarring to look at especially when both were on screen together. It did not look right and though I think it is a nifty idea it does not work out well in practice.

Overall, mindless popcorn action weighed down with some troubling production decisions.

Pros.

It is dumb fun

Yung and Coster-Waldu are fun and give good performances

Cons.

Yung’s character is objectified

It is whitewashed to hell

Butler is miscast

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Luca: Life On A Vespa

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Luca delights me by signalling that after a few wilderness years Pixar are back on form. I very much enjoyed Soul, check out my review, but this film is just slightly better: both films, however, are leagues above everything Pixar has made over the last few years with the exception of Toy Story 4– so heading in a positive direction.

All the conversations that have been floating around since release about this being an LGBTQ+ love story or a hidden romance are wrong, as confirmed by people at Pixar. Frankly, it is slightly alarming to even be hearing these sorts of conversations considering the leads are children, who are have not reached the romantic stage of their life yet. Anyway.

I found this film had a good deal to say about our own world and how we view other people, like all good Pixar films this feature was quick to tap into our emotions and once it did it didn’t let go. The final scene is heart-breaking. However, what I enjoyed most about this film is that there are no scenes where the film feels overly like it is trying to make you cry or manipulate your emotions, it is far more organic than that and is better for it.

I found the sun-soaked world of Italy that we are introduced to transformative and lush. Immediately there are so many interesting characters to explore and meet and places to go, when you combine this with the under the sea areas, the scope of this film is truly colossal. I think it would be apt for this film to get a sequel as there is a lot left to explore and unpack.

I found the fantastical elements helped the film to explore the idea of outsiders and those shunned by society very well and brought the themes of the film to centre stage without them feeling forced down your throat.

Overall, a beautiful film.

Pros.

The characters

The world

The distinctive feel

Pixar is back

The final goodbye scene

Cons.

A little predictable plotwise

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Loki: The Variant

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So, the second episode of Loki is good, there is no doubting that, however it does slump a bit when compared to last weeks mostly stellar opener. Mainly this is due to what I would argue is a rushed story decision on the part of the episode’s ending, but I can see why with a limited six episode run they chose to do it this way.

I am of course talking about Loki’s decision to chase after his evil variant and effectively leave the TVA. Like I said plot wise it makes sense, but I would have liked more time with the Loki and Mobius buddy cop dynamic, Owen Wilson and Tom Hiddleston have great chemistry together- hopefully they will still get to share a lot of scenes together.

As for the who the internet have dubbed prematurely Lady Loki, who is more likely Enchantress, it is far to early to cast any kind of judgement on her: though I will say it was a neat development to have it be her that truly begins the destruction of the Sacred Timeline it makes her vital to the narrative going forward.

Overall, a solid episode though one that is slightly in the shadow of its better predecessor.

Pros.

Loki and Mobius

A few very funny scenes

The destruction of the timeline

The things it sets up

Cons.

The plot feels a little rushed

It underwhelms after a strong first episode

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Thor: Natalie Portman’s Second On Screen Stilted Relationship

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am seemingly one of the few people that actually seem to like the first Thor film. I don’t mind the Shakespeare esque dialogue, or the forced romance between Hemsworth and Portman where both look like they hate each other; instead I actually enjoy it.

Firstly yes it is widely known and widely mocked that the chemistry between Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman was not there during this film, however, I actually quite like them together on screen as a pair I think they work well together and could have been a lot more. Maybe Thor 4 can fix it.

I also think though not as zany as in his more recent appearances Thor is still a very likeable lead character and Hemsworth is very charismatic. I like the unworthy arc and the fish out of water style comedy, both work for me. Moreover, I appreciate the family drama between Thor, Odin and Loki I think it works well and makes for one of the best endings in the MCU. Try and tell me watching Loki float away into the void didn’t make you sad.

I also think that Lady Sif and the Warriors Three have huge potential in this film, sadly Marvel seems content on doing nothing with them. What a waste.

Overall, one of the better early MCU films that often gets overlooked in favor of Ragnarök and though I love Taika Waititi as much as the next guy, this film has a lot of stuff going for it as well.

Pros.

Hemsworth

Portman

Sif and The Warriors Three

Cons.

Darcy

A slow start

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The Waterman: As Dry As The Deseret

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I feel like this film views itself as whimsical, and as using the fantasy nature of its story to actually tackle hard hitting issues but in a wonderous way; however, to me it just seems hollow. I find a good comparison for this film would be to A Monster Calls, they are similar in many ways with the key different here being that The Water Man has no soul.

This is a shame as the film desperately tries to create one, playing up the emotional impact of a lot of scenes to try and further the effect of fairly weak writing. In the end the film feels overly sentimental rather than impactful, with it entirely not understanding how to connect with audiences.

The one thing I will give this film props for however is the acting. I thought Rosario Dawson, and David Oyelowo were both strong and the child lead was bearable, which is saying a lot for a child actor.

Overall, you can see what this film was trying to do, but it just doesn’t seem to understand how to play with an audience’s heart strings creating in the end a film that feels both soulless and hollow, whilst also feeling overly sentimental.

Pros.

The acting

The fantasy elements are interesting

Cons.

The emotions are all wrong

A lot of the fantasy stuff is underdeveloped

The pacing

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Cruella: When Is This Film Set Does Anyone Know ? PS. That Is Not The Seventies

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Disney’s live action remakes will never get any love from me: they are an effort in baiting nostalgia and milking the past to make up for modern day creative failings- worse yet it seems to be working for them. Anyway, I went into this film with low expectations, the trailers didn’t inspire hope, however, after watching it I find myself mixed.

The biggest pro I can give this film is for Emma Stone’s performance. Stone manages to lose herself in the role, and truly become the character. I liked the fact that they didn’t go out of their way to make her sympathetic or even likeable most of the time, with that helping her feel more villainous and more like the character we would later come to know.

However, that is where the pros for the film grind to a halt. My biggest issue with this film was its style. From a design perspective this film is schizophrenic never really being able to decide what tone or even era it was going for- it is jarringly off putting.

Moreover, the plot and story of the film are laughably far fetch, with the film giving up on trying to explain itself midway through, thus creating so many plot holes that you begin to lose count.

Finally, there are plenty of characters in this narrative that serve no purpose and are redundant. Case in point Cruella’s childhood friend/reporter, who’s whole character arc is that she follows Cruella around and takes pictures; she has no character beyond that, nor does she have a need to be in this film at all.

Overall, not worth the price of admission wait until it is free on Disney +

Pros.

Emma Stone

Mark Strong

Cons.

The odd tone

The inconsistencies

The era/ and the fact the film can’t decide when it wants to be set

The logic

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Hop: So It Has Come To This

Hop

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So my search for wholesome films to watch has brought me to this, my desperation is showing. I had heard nothing but bad things about this film, and yet I thought how bad can it be? Well, buckle up.

Firstly this film made me pine for the cookie cutter safe family films of Disney, where even the word ‘crud’ is probably a bit too strong. This should be a red flag to you, and it is not said without merit. This film is icky in a very odd way, especially when you consider who this film is aimed at. There are lines in this film where our animated main character refers to himself as sexy and also states in no uncertain terms his desire to bed the human leads sister- creepy and weird.

Moreover, the film can’t seem to decide on its own mythology, it makes up various things about the wider Easter Bunny mythos on the fly and changes them throughout the film in a similar manor, as you would assume this creates a number of issues and problems for the plot.

Furthermore, far be it for me to tell you the reader what is and isn’t a good message for your kids, or just kids generally, but I don’t think this film isn’t the way to go. Whereas other films might have a message of believing in yourself or being nice to outsiders, this film seems to live with the lessons of spite. The human lead played by James Marsden, the only real pro of the film, is a man child who achieves character growth by the end of the film by spiting his father- really?

Overall, this is poor and more than a little icky, the only positives are Marsden and the fact that it is often unintentionally hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

Pros.

Marsden

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

The weird sexual stuff

The message

The logic of the film and the wider story

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