Orion And The Dark: One For The Anxious Kids

Summary

A young boy realises that the dark is nothing to be afraid of.

I really liked this film for the most part. I thought that Orion was super relatable, and that anyone who was ever an anxious kid will immediately remember feeling his anxieties, it is like a shared collective trauma. I thought it was a bit weird when we stepped away from Orion and it was about his kid and then her kid, I thought this seemed a little confused and messed with the flow of the film it would have worked better narratively if it had just stuck with him.

I thought Orion’s interactions with and friendships with Dark and the other night entities was all quite sweet. You really believed the friendship between Orion and Dark and when they save each other from death throughout the course of the film at different points you can see they care about each other. It is very wholesome. Plus it was nice seeing Natasia Demetriou get some work she is always great. My one complaint on the character side of things would be that the film had too many and as such some of the side characters came off as wanting and lacking in the personality department, we could see them on-screen but knew very little about them.

Overall, a solid Netflix animated film.

4/5

Pros.

The lead is super relatable

The friendship between Dark and Orion is nice

It is very wholesome

The animation is nice

Cons.

The side characters are underdeveloped

Swapping to Orion’s kid and then his kid’s kid is a bit jarring

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Migration: Dancing Ducks And Outdated Memes

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family of ducks go on a cross country migration

This was a deeply average animated movie, nothing happened that you couldn’t guess from the trailer and it was mind-numbingly stupid. Before you cry out but this is a movie for kids, sure but films like Toy Story and hell even Super Mario had good enough writing that you could enjoy it whilst being an adult there was a cleverness, not so here.

What I found odd and perhaps irritating about this film was its desire to repeat jokes, a repeated joke in a kids animated film is not unusual, but this film doesn’t just repeat one or two jokes it is like say 7 or 8 jokes that it reuses over and over and because it’s a large amount by the end of the film there are no new jokes just repeated ones. Moreover, this film is incredibly dependent on outdated memes and pop culture moments that horribly date the film. Remember Salt Bae? Remember when the salt sprinkle meme was a thing? This film sure does and it bases the villain of the piece around him because that is a thing that will still be relevant with folks today let alone kids.

The moral lessons of this film are fairly insipid, it’s the same old same old about going outside your comfort zone, and if a girl talks to you once then you must fly across the world to catch up to her because clearly she is your soulmate. Maybe I am overthinking a kids film but I just think that there are much better animated films that teach these same lessons.

Overall, if you want a film about ducks dancing and a lot of references to outdated memes then this is the one for you, if you want anything else not so much.

2/5

Pros.

David Mitchell is in this that a massive pro for me

It is fun to laugh at it

Cons.

It is boring

It has a generic message

None of the characters, except the little sister duck are likeable

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The Boy And The Heron: Ornithophobia

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A boy enters a mythical world in order to save his surrogate mother figure whilst also investigating the death of his actual mother.

I thought this was a beautiful film to look at every ounce of it had the Ghibli magic that we have all come to know the studio for. The world is so dense and rich and easily explorable, and as you go on this adventure there are so many interesting little side stories established but not fully explored allowing your imagination to fill in the blanks.

The actual plot relating to motherhood family and generations feels very personal, and you care about the character’s journey and want to find out what happened to the mums, and the families connection to this other realm. Though the film doesn’t give away all the answers I would say the ending we got was satisfying and feels weighty.

The one thing I would say about this film, and it didn’t bother me personally but I would be remiss not to say it, is that at times it can be very unsettling, especially in the early parts of the film wherein the heron seems like an almost demonic force intent on harming the kid. As such my point is that this aspect of the film clashes with the wider family friendly tone of the film and if you are considering watching this one with your kids it is something to bear in mind, there are a few frights.

Overall, a lovely swan song for a true titan.

4/5

Pros.

It is a fantastic world

The story is impactful

It leaves a lot to your imagination

It is a sweet film

Cons.

It is not always the most family friendly

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Chicken Run Dawn On The Nugget: I’d Rather Have Some KFC

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Chickens are back.

I am going to be up front with you all when I watched this film I was eating the Christmas deals from KFC at the same time, that is my sense of humour.

I like Aardman, I support British animation, but deary me this film was unnecessary. When will the trend of the characters we care about from previous films being called out by their kids end ? So here we see Molly, Bella Ramsey, call out her mum from hiding her from the world and saying how she wants more out of life, Ginger, Thandwie Newton, could have easily avoided the events of the film by saying ‘look if you go outside of this island you’ll die’ but no.

Anyway, the new preachy daughter character saying how the chickens now have a moral duty to go and free the other chickens in the camps at the end is just irritating. We don’t need every character to be an activist.

Maybe it is because I didn’t like the first film but if there was supposed to be any charm here it is just not showing up for me.

Finally, and this may be somewhat controversial, but Molly’s scouse best friend has an incredibly grating and irritating accent and every time she says anything it just goes through you. Having heard many a scouse accent in my time, I was thinking to myself is this someone making an over-the-top impression but nope. It is honestly hard to listen to at times.

Overall, they should make a Robin Robin sequel and stop this.

Pros.

It is short

The animation is impressive

Cons.

It didn’t need to exist

The whole plot of the film could have been easily avoided with one piece of dialogue

The scouse chicken

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Wonka: A Discount Chocolate Bar

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Willy Wonka, Timothy Chalamet, gets an origin story, outside of the one he already had in the Tim Burton film.

I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would, and whilst I still stand by the fact it didn’t need to exist and that in many ways is fairly generic, there is enough charm here to elevate this above the realm of average and bring it close to good.

There are some great performances from some of the best in British comedy here these are peppered in throughout an always feel enriching when they appear. The most present of these comedians is the trio of villains again each giving a hell of a performance and being both funny and menacing in equal measure. To counter that I will say that Wonka’s group of friends and supporters is incredibly bland and feel tacked on, none of them really have any kind of personality outside of Wonka and the little girl he takes under his wing is the most forgettable character you will likely ever see in a film. She is basically Matilda without the charm.

The odd eccentricities of this film help to give it a unique feel that many familiar with the Paddington films will be familiar with, however, I think the foray into musical was a bad idea and that the film should and could easily have left the songs out; it is not like any of them are good singers.

I want to take a moment to shoutout Hugh Grant as once again here he is the standout of the film, I think his Umpalumpa was a scene stealer in the scenes he appeared in.

Sadly it is highly likely this film is why Sally Hawkins won’t be Mrs Brown in Paddington 3 which I think is a shame they a largely waste her in flashbacks here anyway.

Overall, it is a better than average yet flawed film

3/5

Pros.

It has a charm

The collection of British greats

Hugh Grant

Cons.

The supporting cast are weak

It never really justifies it’s own existence

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Haunted Mansion: Danny Devito Goes Full Conspiracy Theorist

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Another film about a Disney park attraction this time sans Eddie Murphy.

This film got slaughtered in a competitive summer season and would have been much better if Disney had waited and released it on Disney + for Halloween, but hey I’m not Bob Iger.

I thought that this film was better than some have said it is, I think the main cast have great chemistry, even if you have some problematic actors in Haddish and the leading man, and mostly play off each other well. I would say that once again Owen Wilson is used perfectly in a small supporting role, I think he is really finding a new niche for himself in these more considered roles like Mobius in Loki.

Again the horror of the film was fair good for a family setting, it had its moments and wasn’t as comedic as they could have made it. Going In I was worried they would have the ghosts be a threat but also be cracking jokes every few minutes to reduce it but no the film did manage to sustain a level of spooky atmosphere throughout.

I would say that the villain was quite weak and the CGI used for him even more so, as I have said in other reviews and articles I am starting to get sick of third acts that boil down to one big CGI battle again I think it just reflects poor writing and how these writers don’t know how to wrap things up in a satisfying way and so the creatives regurgitate CGI colours all over you to try and make you forget.

Overall, an entertaining film that won’t be winning any awards

3/5

Good atmosphere

The cast work well together

I thought the emotional beats hit where they should

Cons.

The CGI

It has pacing issues

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Wish: Disney Wanted This To Bomb

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Disney fires a massive blast on their side of the culture war, sadly it has blown back on them in a big way.

I went to see this opening day, there were three other people there that is the strength of the Disney brand these days. Anyway, where to begin with this film that made me turn to my girlfriend and go no more Disney animations ever again.

Firstly the plot is beyond simplistic, like really there is no plot beyond an incredibly ham-fisted social message that everyone is special and unique and if life is ever even slightly unfair it is your duty to totally Karen out about it and that only through revolution can anything ever be achieved.

I mean I may be reading it wrong, but personally seeing how two of the only white male characters were evil and how it was the duty of everyone else to punish them it just felt like yet more preaching and like I was being told this film was not for me. If they had made the King look exactly like Donald Trump I would not have been surprised as that as clearly what they were going for, and this might play in America but outside of America audience’s don’t care for their social justice messages. As you all well know, if you have read my reviews for some time, I don’t mind a progressive message at all but when they decide to lecture and force it down the audience’s throat then it becomes clawing quickly.

The songs were not great either, which seems like an easy thing they could have gotten right, the only one that was catchy was Chris Pine’s song about how ungrateful people are. The rest aren’t terrible but they all come off feeling the same which is fine but it doesn’t do anything to sell the film.

I had heard that the ending of the film basically set up a Disney animated films shared universe, and after having seen it I question whether I was lied to. There is some implication of it but I thought it would be clearly shown, that was half of the appeal to me.

One thing I did like about the film that I will give it a half point for was the absurdity with the chickens that was a lot of fun, but sadly that was all the fun on offer in the entire hour and a half ish runtime.

Overall, another lecture from Disney

0.5/5

Pros.

The chickens

Cons

It is preachy

The real world parallel is right there for all to see and it’s irritating

The songs bar one aren’t good

It isn’t fun to watch

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Elemental: Pixar’s Attempt To Address Immigration In The Silliest Way Possible

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Pixar has run out of ideas so is now making films about elements, what’s next a feature length film about a cup of coffee.

So I went into this with low expectations, like basement level low expectations. I had seen the trailers and I thought that the film just looked like generic animated pap that repeated the same few life lessons all animated films do over and over again in an effort to entertain kids in the summer. However, there was far more to it than that and I would argue that this film has one of Pixar’s most developed and engaging emotional cores and that the romance between its leads is the sweetest one I have seen from the studio in years. I left this film blown away by how much it made me feel and yes I was a little bit emotional at the end.

What I would say about this film, and this is where I believe this film has gone majorly/wrong, is that it shouldn’t be about elements. At its very heart this is a film about worlds colliding, as cliché as that is, and of immigration with the latter playing a key role throughout the plot and informing a number of character relationships. I think this film would have been a triumph if it had just been exactly the same but swapped out the elemental characters for human characters and had it been an animated film about a grown up child of immigrants falling in love with someone from outside her community with the two helping each other grow. Now I can think of a pretty obvious reason this wasn’t done, as it may be viewed by some as too political and Disney might have had a panic thinking how is that going to play in Middle America, but I think if they had done that I would be giving this film a 5.

Overall, a hell of a surprise buried under some needless nonsense.

4/5

Pros.

The romance

The emotional core of the story

The inter-character relationships in a non-relationship sense

It is genuinely effecting

Cons.

The use idea of it being elements just doesn’t work at all

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Fast X: Running Out Of Road

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fast Family have yet another figure from their past set out to seek revenge upon them.

These movies are getting tired, it is always the same thing over and over again. I know no one is coming to these films for their sparkling and thoughtful plots, but at the same time that doesn’t mean they have to be boring and repetitive, they should try a little.

What I would appreciate about this film is if death mattered. By that I mean in the final act of the film a number of characters are seemingly killed off and I have a feeling that these deaths will be reversed immediately at the start of the next film which will ruin the stakes and prove that death is meaningless in this universe. Having Jason Momoa’s villain killing off a number of beloved members of the family would set him up as being an important villain, enough to top all who have come before him and be worthy of the finale, but I have a feeling they might just give him Jacob’s, played by John Cena, death. I thinking killing off Cena’s character is stupid as he wasn’t around long enough to feel important as such his death is fairly meaningless.

I think the best thing about this film is the new blood. Brie Larson and Daniela Melchior both have great scenes throughout the film and help to bring in some new character dynamics that break the same old same old that we are getting sick of with this franchise. Larson in particular should have a much bigger role in the next film as she is electric here.

Overall, more spectacle, but does it mean anything?

3/5

Pros.

It is silly

The new characters

Mamoa is having a lot of fun

Cons.

The deaths feel meaningless and easily reversed

Vin Diesel gives his worst performance in years

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The Little Mermaid: The Opening Salvo Of The Summer Movie Season

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Little Mermaid gets the live action remake treatment.

So I went into this with pretty low expectations and thinking it wasn’t really going to be my sort of thing but I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I will preface this review by saying that I haven’t seen the animated original so I wasn’t attached to one version of this story.

I want to say right off the bat that Halle Bailey is a great Ariel and really helps the character to feel likeable and rounded in a live action format. On top of that she also has a very believable and strong romantic chemistry with the male lead, played by Jonah Hauer-King, which helps the film to really work as a date movie. Bailey of course also has a great singing voice and pulls off all the songs truly very well, or as well as can be done with the woeful new songs.

However, the strong cast doesn’t extend across the board Awkwafina is terribly miscast as Scuttle and has a groan inducing rap sequence that also doubles as one of the terrible new songs I mentioned earlier. It is such as a shame the film felt the need to introduce a few new songs as the old ones are still great and are what the audience want, but hey they have to have new songs to try and enter them into awards races later in the year. Awkwafina’s miscasting is somewhat offset by Daveed Diggs as Sebastian who is damn near perfect casting and who makes that Crab the stand out character of the whole film, bring on the Sebastian Disney + show I say.

A final point I want to flag up is that the effects and pacing of this film are both noticeably off and that on a technical level these things hold back the film. The underwater effects look bad and unfinished and I know Disney has bad relations with effect houses but they clearly needed to fix this if they want to improve their CGI, because at times the CGI hear was shocking, especially compared to what The Way of The Water was doing at the end of last year. Moreover, the extra story for Eric and a few other characters is nice but it really doesn’t need the film to be an extra half an hour longer than the original, at the length it is being shown at this film has a second act that drags by at a glacial pace.

Overall, a better live action remake than most of Disney’s others

3.5/5

Bailey

The classic songs

The romance

Digg’s Sebastian

Cons.

The effects and pacing

Awkwafina

The new songs

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