Clown In A Cornfield: Clowns Are So Overused

A group of clowns is terrorising small town America.

I had been meaning to watch this for some time, but I hadn’t gotten around to it until recently, and as I have I found myself quickly becoming disenchanted with it. For a start it presents itself as a horror comedy film, yet it does not really stand up slasher cliches rather it just replicates them.

The clown twist is perhaps the only novel thing about the film, although we have seen it in other films before, just not really in slasher cinema. Once the clowns take over mid-way through the film things start to get more interesting and become more crazy. The teen angst of the first act really slows things down.

The film ends with a decided meh, and that is how I would describe the whole effort really, an effort in meh. It fails in its attempts to be either scary or funny and doesn’t make fun of sub-genre tropes or try and do anything really knew with them.

Overall, it is a streaming film through and through and one that should never have been released in cinemas.

1.5/5

Pros.

A few good kills

It is short

Cons.

The teen angst

The ending

The pacing

Some of the other twists

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The Fountain Of Youth: Indiana Jones For Beta Males

Summary

John Krasinski does his best Indiana Jones impression.

I don’t understand why Apple TV thought we needed a new globetrotting Indiana Jones esque adventure movie. The last Indie film should have been proof enough against that concept.

Moreover, where films like Indiana Jones and National Treasure were commanded by having a strong lead who was believable in the role, here if anything Krasinski is too soft. He doesn’t have the gruff toughness you would want out of this role, he seems far too affable and silly. He simply reads wrong for the part.

As for the adventure itself it is fairly generic nothing you have not seen before, it is a globe trotting adventure for a magical artifact that in the end they don’t end up taking home as it is too dangerous and needs to be left alone. There is nothing particularly new here, it reads as very low effort adventure fare.

The wider cast are a mixed bag, Eiza Gonzalez is there she has some good fights and has reasonably decent chemistry with Krasinski, Natalie Portman is playing Natalie Portman and is taking an easy pay check. The rest of the cast slip my mind.

Overall, this film shows you why you need a good script and crucially a good idea before you go into filming, simply saying oh they are popular and people like Adventure films, a debatable claim at the moment, is not enough.

2/5

Pros.

Gonzales tries her best

There are a few unintentionally funny moments

Cons.

It is badly paced

It is generic

Krasinski is miscast

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The Roses: The Left Wing Answer To The Rom-Com

Summary

The fetishisation of toxic relationships.

Fear not lonely blue haired middle aged cat lady the evil sexist rom-coms have finally be countered by this anti rom-com. This film has two unlikable people who don’t work together and don’t really like each other forced into a marriage and then end up trying to kill each other, see it is not your fault you’re staring down middle aged and have never been kissed, love isn’t real.

We have one character played by Olivia Coleman, who is appearing more and more the rabid antisemite by the minute, who plays a bumbling sort of mumsy character who gets some fame and is then keen to leave her family behind, despite then screaming at her husband for the rest of the film that he stole them from her. As personal accountability is outside of Coleman’s skill set seemingly both personally and professionally. We also have Benedict Cumberbatch playing a weak willed, alcoholic husband, who is constantly feeling sorry for himself and asking for forgiveness. The film details the breakdown of their relationship getting to the point wherein Coleman’s character tries to kill Cumberbatch’s with a gun only to them have them kiss and makeup.

It glorifies the toxic relationship at nearly every turn.

Oh and it features Kate McKinnon as a sexual predator who behaves inappropriately towards both the lead characters, but it is okay because it is a woman, that’s Hollywood’s morality.

1/5

Pros

Andy Samberg has a funny few lines

Cons.

It is not funny for the most part

Both the leads are incredibly unlikable

It is badly paced

It has a depressing ending

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The Next Karate Kid: Better Than Daniel

Summary

Hilary Swank is the Karate Kid.

Now this will almost certainly be a controversial review, however, I put forward with this review the idea that The Next Karate Kid is easily the best film in the franchise. This is for two central reasons, Mr Miyagi, Pat Morita, gets more of a central focus and we get to see more of his world. The monks are a great addition to the mix. The second reason is that Morita and Swank have better chemistry than Daniel and Miyagi ever had.

I enjoyed that this film tried to do things a bit differently and was about Swank’s character opening up more and ended with her going to the dance, rather than yet another martial arts tournament. That said the action was still on point and Swank easily managed to pull off the moves.

Overall, I am a person who enjoys Cobra Kai more for the character moments than for the action so I was always going to prefer this film to the Daniel trilogy, reviews coming soon.

4/5

Pros.

Swank

The focus on Miyagi

The relationship between the characters

The change of setting and final act

Cons.

Not all the jokes hold up.

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Nobody Two: Sharon Stone Embarrasses Herself

Summary

Hutch, Bob Odenkirk, just wants to go on holiday.

So this is an inferior sequel, in many ways this is a step back from the first film. Whilst the idea of a wet work specialist going on holiday could be interesting in a comedy action format, I think the whole idea of the ‘oh no he’s not spending enough time with his family plot line’ is so cliché and stupid.

The action is on point and funny, Odenkirk does a good job making it all look convincing and manages to keep the film together, with some assistance from Christopher Llyod, RZA and Connie Nelson. I enjoyed that this film gave Nelson some spot light particularly at the end, it is nice to see her engage in a bit of blood sport too. The RZA samurai duel is likely going to be a highlight of the film for a lot of people.

The film has Sharon Stone as the big bad leader of a drug cartel, who shows how crazy she is by breaking into dance. This may be one of the worst and most baffling choices I have seen a film make in a long time, the film keeps doing things it thinks makes her look cool and badass, but it is actually cringe.

The more Stone appeared in the film the worse it got.

Overall, a step back from the first film.

2.5/5

Pros.

Nelson, RZA and Llyod

Odenkirk

The action

Cons.

Cliched story telling

Stone

The ending and how easily it wraps up

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Megan Two: Hold Onto Your Vagina Ladies

Summary

Grab onto your vaginas ladies, the quotable line that never gets old and one that sealed the death of Blumhouse.

Honestly, this film had flop written all over it in capital letters, the first film was a meme film and really did not need a sequel, it captured a moment in time and you could not do that twice. The first film was not even very good but at least it had some idea of its identity.

This film is not terrible there are plenty of worse films that you can see right now at your local multiplex, however, the central issue with it is that it does not know what it wants to be. Does it want to be an action film, a comedy, a science fiction film, these are all the things it tries its hand at yet never sticks with.

One thing that is for sure is that this film has long ago abandoned being a horror film, yes there are some gnarly moments but by and large there are no scares, and Meghan is now a full on good guy who is prepared to sacrifice herself, like Christ, to save the day. She even sings comforting songs now. I don’t know who at Blumhouse thought this was a good idea but they probably shouldn’t have a job anymore.

Some of the jokes are funny, and Jermaine Clement is always a welcome presence on-screen, but probably the best moment of the film is where they try and replicate the meme dancing from the first film, with a new dance sequence for Tik Tok. It has that same oh look they are doing the thing vibe you would want whilst they are doing something new.

Overall, a watchable action comedy film.

2.5

Pros.

It has a few funny lines

The dancing

Jermaine Clement

Cons.

It is tonally all over the place

It is not a horror film

It has pacing problems

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Together: Dave Franco And Alison Brie Should Probably Break Up

Summary

A couple learn very obvious lessons about co-dependence. The irony being that both of these lead actors are actually in a relationship in real life and are now playing a couple on screen and well its ironic.

So I will give this film one thing it does have one particularly effective moment, and it takes place in a children’s school toilet cubicle, once you have seen it and thought through the implications of it then you will be scarred for life. However, that is really the only thing I can praise the film for.

The commentary on co-dependent couples which it ends up justifying at the end, is nothing new. In many sense this film reminds me a lot of Night Bitch the Amy Adam’s film from the end of last year, it has an interesting premise but uses it to deliver fairly boilerplate commentary that feels incredibly obvious.

Franco and Brie as a couple in this film really seem ill suited and unlike in other similar films where you are rooting for them to stay together through it all here you desperately think they should be apart.

Overall, not as smart or inventive as it thinks it is.

1.5/5

Pros.

An interesting idea

One harrowing moment

Cons.

Brie and Franco have no chemistry

The commentary is pedestrian

It is boring

The ending feels contrived

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The Naked Gun: OJ Simpson Has Not Been This Relevant In Years

Summary

Liam Neeson proves once and for all that he can do comedy.

When I saw the trailers for this film I was doubtful, comedy doesn’t seem to work in 2025 especially not spoof films. Couple that with the fact that I’m a big fan of the original Naked Gun films, and you can see why I went into this film with incredibly low expectations.

However, I was pleasantly surprised. Not only is this film funny, but it also manages to keep alive a lot of the humour of the original trilogy. Now, I am not going to say that this film is in the same league as those films, but I will say that it had me laughing quite a bit, and I thought the chemistry between Neeson and Pamela Anderson was charming. I think the film really shines when they are on screen together.

I would say that the wider supporting cast is mostly wasted, but then again the Naked Gun films were always mainly focused on the male and female leads and their interactions, with the wider supporting police team being used sparingly.

Overall, the OJ Simpson gag was probably the best in the film.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is funny

Anderson and Neeson have great chemistry

It maintains the comedic styling of the earlier films

The OJ gag is fantastic

Cons.

The supporting cast are wasted

The plot is a little weak

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Hostages: The Scary Power Of Influencers

Summary

A group of people get stuck in a hotel room.

So I watched this one a little while back in my day job, as a film festival programmer, and normally I don’t cross the streams but I thought that enough time had passed that I would write about it here.

So this is quite a funny comedy film about social media news and the corrupting effects of online fame and how quickly mass hysteria can form. In many sense this film works as it is timely however, I would say that it won’t feel dated as that sense of seeing coverage of something online and freaking yourself out is fairly timeless.

The cast are all strong though I would say that Charlotte Ritchie is probably the star of the show, especially as we see her go darker than she has done in past roles, particularly towards the end of the film. There is a moment where she reminds you just a little bit of Jim Jones or one of the classic cult leaders of the last century.

The humour is not hitting with a joke a minute, but does have a number of good jokes and recurring bits over the course of the film.

Overall, a funny British comedy film

4/5

Pros.

It is funny

Ritchie

The characters are likeable

It is timely but also timeless

Cons.

Not all the jokes land

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Novocaine: The Soft Man’s John Wick

Summary

Jack Quaid cannot feel pain.

So this film had some good gross out moments and the action was pretty solid, but it did not do enough to get past its very so so plot. It sorely wants to be a more comedic take on something like John Wick with him going after the bad guys to get his girlfriend, Amber Mindhunter, back. However, they don’t really explore him as a character beyond this.

The side characters and villains are equally as underdeveloped, they fill the role the script needs them to but they are barely beyond one dimensional and struggle to stay in your mind when they go off the screen

Overall, fluff lacking any kind of substance

2/5

Pros.

The action

A few funny moments

Cons.

The plot is very forgettable

The characters are underdeveloped

It has pacing issues

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