Nest Of Vampires: Sucking Blood In The UK

Nest Of Vampires is a British action horror film directed by Chris Sanders. The plot sees an MI5 officer become wrapped up in the affairs of a vampiric cult after trying to find the people responsible for the death of his wife and the disappearance of his daughter.

There is something of an early Neil Marshall here, still rough but full of promise.

I enjoy British horror quite a lot, not knocking anywhere else’s horror, but there has always been something special to me about homegrown horror; there is just a certain edge to it that I haven’t seen elsewhere. The last Marshal comparison I will make today, in Dog Soldiers you can see what I mean about this edge, the dark countryside area, the rough practical effects, the gore- there is just something to it.

That is very much the case here as well, there is a grime to it all- I think that is the best word for that special British something that I am talking about. The grime makes everything just pop that little bit more. The violence stands out and becomes even more visceral, and the characters and the world feel real and lived in.

I enjoyed the plot of the film for the most part, there were a few pacing issues here and there, but I thought it worked well and I have not seen a vampire film like this in a while and it had almost a retro like appeal to it that I enjoyed.

I thought the horror of the film was strong, I wouldn’t call it scary rather oppressive as the action elements often stop there from being jump scares and that sort of thing. However, I do think the action and the horror work well together to create almost a dark fantasy film, which again is an under represented genre in current cinema.

Overall, a very entertaining watch, more so perhaps if you are already a fan of British horror cinema.

Pros.

That special something

The action

The horror elements

A strong villain

Cons.

A few light pacing problems

The lead could do with more development

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Football Factory: Hooligans In The UK

Football Factory is a British sports drama film directed by Nick Love. The plot examines the rise in football hooliganism, examining the lives of those who live to fight. We follow Tommy Johnson (Danny Dyer), one such hooligan as he gets caught up in a feud between two sects of fans and is forced to revaluate his life.

I don’t know if I have mentioned this in my reviews before, but I am a huge Danny Dyer fan and have been for a while: Dog House, The Business, Severance, Human Traffic all classic Dyer fare, and this fits in amongst that pantheon, though it doesn’t have as much charm as some of the others and is definitely rougher around the edges.

It is kind of crazy how badly this film wants to be Trainspotting, there are multiple moments in this film that feel almost shot for shot the same, with slight tweaks to avoid being called out. The difference of course is one is a British classic and the other is a blatant rip-off; I’ll let you figure out which is which.

Danny Dyer has his usual laddish charm and is okay here, though this does feel very safe for him. I would dare say that Dyer is upstaged by Neil Maskell, who plays his on-screen best friend and who also has some of the best scenes in the film, managing to inject a bit more soul into the film than Dyer seems capable off.

There are several moments in this film that are clearly supposed to be funny or sad, but in both cases the film struggles to achieve either. The first death doesn’t feel hugely impactful as we don’t really know the character, and the final death doesn’t bare weight as the film has done little to make us care about the character. The humour is far weaker, and the film tries less hard at this aim; those who the film is based on might find it funny, but anyone outside of that small group would probably be hard pushed to find a laugh here.

Overall, it is passable Dyer content, no The Business, in fact don’t watch this film at and just check out The Business it is a much better.

Pros.

Dyer and his roughish ways

Neil Maskell is trying

Cons.

The characters aren’t likeable and that limits the films emotional impact

The humour doesn’t work

It drags in parts

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Reckoning: A New Action Hero Is Born

The Reckoning is a adventure horror film directed by Neil Marshall. The plot sees Grace (Charlotte Kirk) be accused of witchcraft after she turns down the sexual advances of her landlord, following her husband’s death. Needless to say she is horribly and violently tortured by the local Witch Finder General (Sean Pertwee), but Grace stays strong and refuses to confess.

I think the story is well done and fits nicely into the genre. It won’t win any prizes for writing though, as the Me Too metaphor is a little too on the nose and has about as much subtly as a Michael Bay explosion. I understand that Marshall and Kirk wanted to use this film to take aim at some of their Hollywood enemies, and that is far enough, but don’t claim that is has nothing to do with that when it very clearly does.

The costume design is strongly done and the scenes with the Devil in them, yes that’s right whilst on the inside Grace is tormented every night by the Devil demanding her soul, are easily the strongest from a design perspective of the film. Looking at the Devil character here reminds me that Marshal has always handled creature design well: with some of the best examples of my point being Baba Yaga (Hellboy), and the werewolves in Dog Soldiers.

Kirk is a strong lead, and a believable ass kicker. I thought from an empowerment perspective, that she was yet another sorely needed female action hero, with the final scene of this film begging for the sequel treatment. We need to see Grace reunited with her kid after all, or maybe just hunting down some more evil doers- I’d happily watch either.

Overall, top tier Marshal even if the metaphor is a little too on the nose. Marshal really is one of the most underrated directors working today.

Pros.

Kirk

The creature design

The ending and the sequel set up

Sean Pertwee

It is more of Marshal doing what he does best

Cons.

The Me-Too Stuff is way too on the nose, and obviously inspired.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Brotherhood: Nudity Over Transformative Life Experiences, How To Cheapen A Series With The Final Installment

Brotherhood is a crime film directed by Noel Clarke. The plot serves as a continuation of the previous films Kidulthood and Adulthood serving to be the final film in the series. The plot sees Sam (Clarke), brough back into the game for one final showdown after his brother gets shot.

So this film pushed things a bit too far, by that I mean the running theme throughout this series is how bad this life is serving to discourage people who want to pursuit this kind of lifestyle, however this film glorifies a life of crime and undermines the whole series.

Moreover, this film moves fully away from the drama genre and tries hard to become an action film, which it does well, but it just shows how far this film has moved away from its roots. Personally, I enjoyed the gritty violence and one-upmanship in this film, it reminded me of great 00s crime films like The Business which is a pro for sure.

Likewise, I thought the ending of the film felt satisfying both as an ending to this film and as an ending to the series as a whole: it felt very much like Sam’s Character arc from the first film had gone full circle in a very real and believable way which was nice to see.

A final note about this film is that I felt the level of nudity in it felt too much at times, maybe even slightly exploitative. Clarke really does distract from the good points and clever writing of this film by having naked women constantly on-screen to keep the attention of every teenage boy in the audience, and honestly it really does cheapen the film.

Overall, a flawed but fitting end to the series.

Pros.

The ending

Closing the arc

The gritty violence

Clarke

Cons.

It glorifies while seeking to dissuade

The nudity

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Blithe Spirit: Move, Change Your Number, Die, You Can Never Really Escape Your Ex

Blithe Spirt is a comedy film directed by Edward Hall. The plot follows author/ screen writer Charles Condomine (Dan Stevens) who after performing a mocking séance accidentally brings back his dead first wife Elvira (Leslie Mann), much to the chagrin of his current wife Ruth (Isla Fisher). The three have to find a way to live with each other.

I had been looking forward to this film for a long time, and when I saw it, it met my expectations. The main strength of this film is its charm, all of the character have moments that make you laugh and cheer, which work mainly because of the overwhelming charm of the film.

The humour was not laugh out loud funny, but it did have me smiling consistently throughout. I enjoyed the premise and thought that the idea was quite ingenious, I also thought the rules came up with for ghosts and how they could and couldn’t interact with the living were fascinating.

Furthermore, I thought Dan Stevens was a perfectly fine lead but that he was outdone at every turn by Mann and Fisher, really this was there movie. I loved the interplay between the characters, even though by the logic of the film one cant see the other, I thought the actors had great chemistry and whenever the two shared a scene together I thought it popped fantastically.

Overall, an entertaining good time.

Pros.

Mann

Fisher

The premise and the execution

The world and the rules of the ghosts and the afterlife

Cons.

Judi Dench was underused

It wasn’t funny

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Storage 24: Then There Were Aliens

Storage 24 is a British science fiction horror film directed by Johannes Roberts. The plot sees recently single Charlie (Noel Clarke),as he goes to the storage unit he used to share with his ex-girlfriend Shelly (Antonia Campbell-Hughes) to collect his belonging. Whilst these not only is there an awkward reunion between the ex-lovers, but there is also an alien hunting them down.

When someone says cheap British horror this is the first film that comes into my head, and I don’t mean that in a good way. It looks awful and having one setting is not inherently a bad thing but when you do nothing with it and you make it become repetitive then it is.

The only pro I have for this film is the creature design looks good. It is not until late into the film that we get a good look at the creature, but when we do it is impressive to behold, it looks like a cross between the creature from the black lagoon and an elder god.

The acting is very average, the actors are good, (at least Noel Clarke and Laura Haddock are), but here they are given nothing to do, they are just going through the motions, none of them convincing, for about an hour and a half before a ridiculous ending.

Overall, this is so generic it is almost painful.

Pros.

The creature the design

The ending is so bad it is almost laughably good

Cons.

The performances aren’t good or convincing

The setting is repetitive and underused

The premise is dumb and ridiculous

It is predictable

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

His House: Stranger In A Strange Land

His House is a horror film directed by Remi Weekes. The film revolves around a pair of South Sudanese refugees, Rial (Wunmi Mosaku) and Bol (Supe Dirisu), who flee their home for a supposed ‘better’ life in England. However, once they settle into their new lives they soon come to realise that you can’t run from your demons, they just follow you.

This has been in my Netflix que, for quite some time and honestly I am angry with myself for not watching it sooner. It is one of the freshest horror films I have seen in a while and I think it is a must watch.

Firstly, the horror is multi layered, yes you have the supernatural threat, but you also have all this threat coming in from the outside world; the locals are not welcoming to the pair and the whole asylum system seems rigged against them. Unlike something like Get Out wherein you had these layer of horror that were obvious and on the nose, here it feels far more refined and subtle and less slapping you in the face.

The scares are all very well done, I would say that this film is genuinely scary and that is coming from someone who is no stranger to the genre and who likes to think he does not scary easily. I enjoyed again the focus on African folk magic and mythology, it is nice to see a more diverse horror focus and less of the same Christen angles and demons that over populate the genre.

Overall, a real gem make sure you check it out!

Pros.

The multi layered horror

The performances

The focus on African mythology

The scares

The ending

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wallace And Gromit Curse Of The Were Rabbit: Howling At The Moon

Wallace And Gromit Curse Of The Were Rabbit is a British stop motion animation film directed by Nick Park and Steve Box. The plot sees the duo set up a business catching and rehousing rabbits in their local area, protecting everyone’s green. However, one day during a failed science experiment Wallace (Peter Sallis), turns himself into a horrible man rabbit hybrid.

I remember watching this when I was a kid in the cinema, I must have gone at least 3 or 4 times to see it during its run; there is something about this film that places higher in my mind than the over Wallace and Gromit fare and even over other Aardman animations. What I think this something is, is the sense of British horror that is on display here ever so subtly. Throughout the film there are several references and homages to classic British horror films and moments, which a genre die hard like me can see and appreciate; I enjoy the tip of the hat.

I also enjoy the romance between Lady Tottington (Helena Bonham Carter), and Wallace. I thought it was nice and quite wholesome to see this love story play out on screen even if it does lead nowhere. It made me smile.

Overall, my favourite Wallace and Gromit film simply for the references to British horror, a great concept well executed.

Pros.

The horror and the references to horror

Wallace and Lady Tottington

The premise

It is well paced

Cons.

The villain feels familiar and uninspired

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason: The Horrors Of A Thai Prison

Bridget Jones, The Edge Of Reason is a British romantic comedy film directed by Beeban Kidron, serving as a sequel to The Bridget Jones Diaries. The plot this time around see Bridget (Renee Zellweger), in a happy relationship. Though for one reason or another she suspects her boyfriend Mark (Colin Firth), is cheating on her and they break up and then through a series of comedic misunderstanding and lapses in judgment they end up back together again.

This is by far a lesser film than the first. It is still funny and charming, but not nearly as much as the first film. Also the humour here seems far more intent on laughing at Bridget rather than with her, I noticed quite a mean streak to the humour that I found to be quite off putting.

Moreover, the plot of this film is basically just a rehash of the first. It spends almost 99% of its runtime covering old ground and repeating plot points from the first film; it is almost as though there didn’t need to be a sequel. Right from the off you know where the plot is going and can guess the resolution because you have seen it before, in the previous film.

Also the film was made infinitely worse by bringing back Hugh Grant’s character rather than introducing a new character.

Overall, though there is still some fun moments and enjoyment to be had this is a lesser sequel in almost everyway and pales in the light of the first film.

Pros.

A few funny moments

Zellweger is still very charming in the role

It is cheering

Cons.

It brings nothing new to the table

Hugh Grant should not have come back

The humour seems more mean spirited

It is entirely predictable

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bridget Jones’s Baby: 2 Different Baby Daddies

Bridget Jones’s Baby is a romantic comedy film directed by Sharon Maguire. The plot follows on from the events of the previous films and shows an older version of Bridget (Renee Zellweger), who is still unlucky in love and is seemingly repeating the same mistakes as she was in the events of the first film only now older.

I would say of the three Bridget Jones films this is probably second best, behind the original but ahead of the sequel. This film regains more of the originals charm and loses the more mean-spirited humour of the second film, both of which help it immensely.

The one negatively I will say of this film is that it feels needless. The character arcs and progressions are nothing new in the series, it very much does repeat arcs from the previous films to form a narrative here, you can predict what will happen and when because it has already. The will they won’t they stuff between Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), and Bridget makes less and less sense as at the end of each subsequent film they end up together and say how much they love each other, only to have that undone by the start of the next film. It makes the whole thing feel futile.

Patrick Dempsey has a very moments to shine throughout the film as the new love interest for Bridget and one of the suspected fathers of the baby, however he is very much living in the shadow of Hugh Grant and can’t hope to compete.

The other new characters such as Miranda (Sarah Solemani), Bridget’s younger friend and work college fare far better and add to the film. I would dare say Solemani stole most of the scenes she was in and I would watch a spin off dedicated entirely to her character.

Overall, a nice final note that returns to form even if it struggles to explain why it exists.

Pros.

Sarah Solemani

It is charming

It is funny

Renee Zellweger

Cons.

It has no need to exist and does not justify it.

4/5