Fatman: Santa Claus Will Put A Bullet Right Between Your Eyes, Go On, Test Him

Fatman is a Christmas based action film directed by Eshom Nelms and Ian Nelms. The plot sees a budding young sociopath put a hit out on Santa Clause (Mel Gibson), after he receives a deserved lump of coal for Christmas. What follows is a battle to the death between not so jolly Old Saint Nick and hitman Johnathan Miller (Walton Goggins), who has his own axe to grind against ‘the fatman’.

Though I don’t like Mel Gibson, because he is a vile human being, I managed to separate my personal feelings from this film and ended up really enjoying it. I like the inherent silliness in the concept, a hit man trying to kill Santa Claus, I think the film deals with its absurdity well and plays it up to great effect.

The action scenes where nicely done as well and I enjoyed the final fight as well, the ending was unexpected, I thought that the fight was clearly going to end one way, it did not. I always enjoy it when a film deviates from where I think it is going especially so if they do it in a clever way. I thought the final scene, when Santa pays a visit to the kid that put a hit on him was the best scene of the entire film, not only was it incredibly tense, but it knew how to play off Gibson as an actor; the role really does feel tailor made for him.

Overall, though reviews have been mixed on this one, I personally really enjoyed it. I thought it was silly and fun but also a really well thought out action film that capitalised on its star.

Pros.

The role was tailor made for Gibson

The tone is just right

The action

The premise

Cons.

The elf cgi is not good

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Boss Level: Don’t You Hate Waking Up With A Gun In Your Face

Boss Level is a science fiction, action film directed by Joe Carnahan. The plot sees ex solider Roy (Frank Grillo), become stuck in a time loop. As is customary he has to live out his death over and over again until he can find out what is going on and stop it.

Before I get into the review fully I just want to say, that ending- my my how much of a tease can you be.

This film will be familiar to most, the time loop concept has become very much a new fad in films over the last 5 years, with films like Happy Death Day and Palm Springs being good examples; by now you know what to expect from these sort of films. However, the thing I would say that sets this film apart from the others is Frank Grillo.

Grillo’s character goes on a real arc over the course of the film, as he makes various discoveries about his current situation and you can see the change in emotion and person happening before you very eyes. Grillo is incredibly versatile and he really sells his role. He made me both laugh and cry over the course of the film.

I enjoyed the film’s references and clear inspiration from classic videogames, I think this game feel helps it to standout and give itself some personality.

Overall, a nice surprise that has quite a few good moments and Grillo himself is superb.

Pros.

Frank Grillo

The character arc

The emotion

The ending

Cons.

It does feel a bit too familiar

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Chick Fight: Alec Baldwin Is The Drunk Fighting Instructor We All Need In Our Lives

Chick Fight is an action comedy directed by Paul Leyden. The plot follows Anna (Malin Akerman), a woman who’s life is going to the dogs, she is on the verge of being evicted, she can’t find a job and her love life is non-existent. However, one day she walks into an underground women’s fight club and a new chapter in her life begins.

This film is fine, nothing more nothing less. It is nothing that you haven’t seen before and of those films most are better. However, I also would not call this film bad, it is solidly watchable and some of the supporting performances are quite good.

With that in mind, I give props to Bella Throne for being quite a good antagonist here, you hate her, but at the same time you feel for her a little bit; her and Akerman have some entertaining scenes together. Alec Baldwin as Anna’s coach/trainer is also quite good, he plays the boozy old man who lives at the beach well, and I am really digging this phase of Baldwin’s career; he is also great in Pixie.

Akerman herself is a passable lead, though her role could be played by literally anyone.

Overall, it is an easy watch though it is a touch generic. Watch if you can’t find anything better.

Pros.

Throne and Baldwin

A few funny moments

It is very watchable

Cons.

Akerman doesn’t do much

It is very generic

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Greenland: When The Apocalypse Comes You Need The Architects, Screw Doctors

Greenland is a disaster action film directed by Ric Roman Waugh. The plot sees a comet come into Earth’s atmosphere which poses an extinction level threat to mankind. In amongst the people trying to stay alive is family man John Garrity (Gerard Butler), who must go to great lengths to keep this family alive and get them to the new promised land, Greenland.

I remember seeing the trailer for this film in the cinema awhile back, and I thought it looked promising. Now having seen it, I can say I am mixed on it. Yes, it does have a strong premise, with a suitably tense ticking clock narrative that keeps things moving forward nicely.

However, on the other hand, it does not do much with its premise beyond ending up like just another generic action, disaster film. Moreover, some of the dramatic choices here feel needless and really don’t add much to the narrative as a whole. Like why did John’s son need to be kidnapped? What did that thread add?

Butler was okay, this seems like an easy fit role for him, he was everything I would expect him to be. Your enjoyment of his performance will depend on how you feel about Butler and his ‘character’ generally.

Overall, despite initial promise this film ended up being just another generic disaster film.

Pros.

Gerard Butler

The set pieces

The tension

Cons.

It doesn’t do much with its interesting premise

Drama and twists added needlessly

It is generic

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Headshot: Who Are You Again?

Headshot is an Indonesian action thriller film directed by Kimo Stamboel and Timo Tjahjanto. The plot sees an unknown man (Iko Uwais), awaken in a hospital bed, he does not remember who he is or how he came to be in sad bed. However, once he leaves the hospital he is hunted down by one of the most ruthless bosses in the underworld Lee (Sunny Pang) and has to fight for his survival.

So, after seeing Uwais in several other action films I was expecting big things here, and I have to say I was disappointed. My main issue with the film was the action and the fights, they felt toned back and lacked the same excitement as I can come to know from the Indonesian action subgenre. The fights here not only felt underwhelming, they felt like they were done on the cheap.

Moreover, the story was uninspired we have seen the amnesiac waking up to trouble storyline play out over and over again and this film can’t be bothered to do anything new with it. The midway through twist, which I won’t spoil, is insanely predictable and worst of all you just don’t care after it is revealed.

There are a few cool moments, such as the prison escape scene at the start of the film, that is really all the good I can say about this film. These scenes are incredibly few and far between and the film as a whole feels stretched out for far too long, to a point where you are looking at your phone because you can’t take the tedium anymore.

Overall, a subpar Indonesian action flick, I expected more.

Pros.

A few cool moments

Cons.

A played-out storyline

Uninspired fights

Characters you don’t care about

Pacing issues in the extreme

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Honest Thief: Jai Courtney Always Popping Up When You Least Expect Him, And Certainly Don’t Want Him

Honest Thief is an action thriller film directed by Mark Williams. The plot sees successful bank robber Tom (Liam Neeson) try and confess to his crimes after meeting a woman, who he falls in love with, he hopes that by confessing they can have a life together. However dirty cops frame him for the murder of a fellow agent, and he must prove his innocence.

So, this is about what you would expect, it is your standard Liam Neeson schlock, he uses his skills to defeat the baddies prove that he is a good guy and that’s that. There, that’s the plot summed up in a line. However, for me I am not watching these films for their plot I am watching these films to watch Liam Neeson in ever more preposterous situations, and hey I was not disappointed here.

Ultimately, the film is quite generic. It is nothing you haven’t seen before, there are some tense moments that give the film so watchability, but really the only thing that keeps you invested is Neeson, if he wasn’t in it this film would be trash.

Jai Courtney is in this film, yes he hasn’t just faded into obscurity as you and I had believed far from it he is the villain of the piece. In this film he reminds us all why he is rarely cast, though it is fun to watch him be terrorised by Neeson.

Overall, your enjoyment of this film will come down to how much you like Liam Neeson and his schlocky action films.

Pros.

Liam Neeson

How over the top it is

It is almost funny at times, obviously unintentionally

Cons.

Jai Courtney

It is generic

The action leaves quite a lot to be desired

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Unhinged: Bait

Unhinged is a thriller film directed by Derrick Borte. The plot sees angry man Tom Cooper (Russell Crowe), have a mental break and go on a rampage after his wife leaves him, he takes to the streets to harass, terrorise, and kill people who he deams rude drivers or those who slight him.

This is the film that told the pandemic to do a hike and came out in cinemas anyway, the film that refused to go straight to streaming and said it was too tough for that. It made you risk your health to prove your machismo.

This film is clearly made for a certain type of person, it takes multiple digs at modern culture, and seems to hate anything that was popular after the year 2000. The weird way that the film gives Tom Cooper’s character anti hero like qualities is troubling as it is almost condone this character, that is clearly the villain here.

The central family that become Cooper’s victims are so incredibly bland that I seem to have purged them for my mind, all I can remember is that the kids is incredibly irritating and talks in a way no other human child has ever talked before.

The pulpy schlock of it can only go so far before it just starts to feel lazy, the scares don’t really land because the film can’t seem to decide whether it is secretly trying to praise Cooper and his actions.

Overall, a skinhead action film if ever there was one, that seems to be at odds with the modern world and proud of it. Crowe is clearly trying which makes the whole affair sadder as it shows how far he has fallen.

Pros.

Crowe is trying

Cons.

The central family is generic

The kid is annoying

It can’t seem to settle on how it wants to depict the violence and aggression

It seems to be oddly dated

It has some unpleasant undertones

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Prophecy: Viggo Mortensen Is Under Your Bed

The Prophecy is a fantasy thriller film directed by Gregory Widen. The plot sees angel of death Gabriel (Christopher Walken), seek to find an evil soul and use it to wipe out mankind. It is set to a backdrop of a centuries long angelic civil war.

This is pulpy good fun, will it win awards no, but it was solidly entertaining for an hour and a half and it made me want to check out its sequels, stay tuned for reviews of them. I enjoyed the deeply 90s aesthetic of the film it reminded me a bit of films like The Crow. I thought the world building was incredibly on point, they create a huge world with a lot going on, but don’t spend big parts of the film spouting exposition which is appreciated.

The performances are really a conversation about two actors Christopher Walken and Viggo Mortensen. So, Walken played the menacing angle of death well, he was a very believable badass and managed to seem worse than the devil himself. Speaking of, Mortensen’s Lucifer is only in the film briefly, but he is a scene stealer while he is there, he is so manic and unhinged it is truly chilling; the performance has become one of my all-time favourite Devil performances.

Overall, if you want a schlocky good time with a surprisingly deep world and a few great performances then give this a try.

Pros

Walken

Mortensen

The deep lore

Not overcomplicating things and being a lot of fun

Cons.

It is quite dated now

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Love And Monster: Love In The Time Of Monsters

Love And Monsters is a post-apocalyptic adventure film directed by Michael Matthews. The plot follows Joel (Dylan O’ Brien), a survivor who doesn’t seem to be very good at surviving as he leaves his bunker hideaway in pursuit of his lost love Aimee (Jessica Henwick), after they reconnect over the radio.

So, if you had any doubt about Dylan O’ Brien’s career as a Hollywood leading man this film come as a comfort. Not only is O’ Brien a terrific leading man here, he is also perfectly cast and suited to the part. He has the physicality to pull off the action scenes, but also the awkwardness to not see like the standard action hero ‘type’.

I think the world and the tongue in cheek tone is a strength to the film. The mythology is present, but is not overly explored which allows there to be a degree of your own imagination set to the proceedings. The humour of the film resonated with me and often made me laugh.

I think the supporting cast all do great jobs with their limited screen time; they help the world to feel lived in and set up perfectly crafted emotional moments that will hit you. Henwick struggles somewhat in a leading role, but does have a few strong moments. I enjoyed that she was the inverse of Joel in almost every way and that their romance often subverted my expectations.

Overall, a gem of 2020 that you can’t afford to sleep on

Pros.

Dylan O’ Brien

The romance

The world

The supporting characters

The tone and the humour

Cons.

Jessica Henwick is a weak link, but has redeeming moments

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Eastern Promise: Viggo In The Russian Mob

Eastern Promise is a gangster film directed by David Cronenberg. The plot tells the story of an abandoned baby from a 14-year-old drug addict. Anna (Naomi Watts), delves into the Russian underworld to try and trace the roots of this now dead junkie, so that her baby can have a chance at a future.

I loved the world of the Russian mob that this film dives into, it is so deep and layered, there is so much to it and all is explored in great detail. Furthermore, this film teaches us the audience a great deal that we might not know in this regard, such as the importance of tattoos within the mob.

Watts is fine, serviceable but not much more, however the real star here is Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen). Mortensen gives a very strong performance that feels nuanced and well delivered, he is so much more than the thug character type he has so much more personality than that. The twist with his character, that I won’t spoil here, is quite obvious but it still works well.

The ending of the film does set it up for a sequel, which I think could be great if it continues to dive further into this world; however according to Cronenberg himself it is dead.

Overall, a bit more thinky than most Gangster films, the plot and the themes are just as important as the violence.

Pros.

A deep world

An intriguing story

Viggo Mortensen

The twist works

Cons.

Naomi Watts is very eh

4/5

Reviewed by Luke