Predator Badlands: Baby’s First Predator Film

A new Predator arises.

There was so much about this film that felt promising but it was just ruined by a series of elements that just don’t fit the franchise.

Firstly it was nice to see more of their culture, and have their family/clan dynamics explored more. However, the way they interacted was far too human for my liking, it needed to feel more alien. Moreover, the final shot of the film that had the Predator’s mother show up was lame as hell and an awful way to end on.

Secondly, the combat was fun and well done for the most part. This was probably the most important part to get right, it was interesting to see how the Predator fights as in other films we don’t get to see it so much. However, this was offset by the comedic sidekick. Personally I like Elle Fanning, I think she is an interesting actress and I like seeing the project she picks, she has great range. Although it must be said neither of the character’s she played here worked. On the one hand you had the quirky, overly talkative, positive robot, which made jokes throughout the film and killed any tension, and on the other hand you had another synthetic that also looked like her that was the stern, no feelings, girlboss which they at least turned into a villain. Personally I don’t think comedy has any place in a Predator film.

The cute animal sidekicks also felt like very current day Disney, they use these creatures to try and lure in women who might be otherwise put off by the science fiction or the violence. Once again Predator as a franchise is heavily male leaning so it should not have done this as it contributed, along with the humour, to this not feeling like a Predator film.

Then you have the fact the film constantly makes the Predator weak and ineffective and tries to lessen him. This again feels very current day Disney, again in their culture they train to hunt from the moment of birth so some of the mistakes he makes are not only stupid but break the lore.

Overall, a deeply mixed film.

2.5/5

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, customised film recommendations to suit your personality and tastes, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Jurassic Park: Overrated In The Extreme

Summary

The older I get the more I realise that Steven Spielberg is not a good director.

Removed from a childlike lens of whimsy I wanted to see how this film held up. If it was the masterpiece people seem to think it is, turns out they are wrong.

Whilst I appreciate what this film was doing, when it was doing it, and the lasting impact it has had. That does not change the fact it is just the same thing over and over again, dinosaur attacks, kills a person and moves on to the next, yes there are a few tense scenes where the dinosaurs are looking for people to kill but don’t find anyone, but that’s it. I think if this film had not been so visually impressive when it came out many people wouldn’t have bat an eye, it is just a generic shark film plot but with dinosaurs.

The plot is glacially slow in actually getting off the ground with the dinosaurs breaking out, and the film feels so bloated at times that it is distracting. One could argue what it would be like if it was not given to Spielberg at the height of his power and was instead given to someone who actually wanted to make a tight film.

Overall, disappointing and highlighting the very worst of Spielberg

1/5

Pros.

It is visually interesting

Cons.

It is badly paced

The acting isn’t very good

It is repetitive

It is bloated

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

The Thing: Action And Horror Don’t Mix Well

Summary

The Thing is deeply overrated, I just want to say that now and get it out of the way.

Let’s move past the anger.

Whilst the film may have been impressive at the time, and whilst I can appreciate the lonely and haunting beauty of the polar landscape it takes place in, nothing can remove the fact it is terribly paced. The film takes a long time to get going and when it does it spends a lot of time meandering, hanging out in rooms talking rather than actually having the characters spend all that much time with the creature.

The creature effects are okay, I always prefer practical effects over CGI, so I will give it its credit for that. However, it is not the scariest thing in the world, it is grotesque but not anything more than that.

Personally, I think that The Fog is a much better John Carpenter horror film.

Overall, it is brutally long, and boring.

1.5/5

Pros.

The setting

The score

Cons.

It is far too long

It isn’t scary

The action and the horror are not blended well together

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Nobody Two: Sharon Stone Embarrasses Herself

Summary

Hutch, Bob Odenkirk, just wants to go on holiday.

So this is an inferior sequel, in many ways this is a step back from the first film. Whilst the idea of a wet work specialist going on holiday could be interesting in a comedy action format, I think the whole idea of the ‘oh no he’s not spending enough time with his family plot line’ is so cliché and stupid.

The action is on point and funny, Odenkirk does a good job making it all look convincing and manages to keep the film together, with some assistance from Christopher Llyod, RZA and Connie Nelson. I enjoyed that this film gave Nelson some spot light particularly at the end, it is nice to see her engage in a bit of blood sport too. The RZA samurai duel is likely going to be a highlight of the film for a lot of people.

The film has Sharon Stone as the big bad leader of a drug cartel, who shows how crazy she is by breaking into dance. This may be one of the worst and most baffling choices I have seen a film make in a long time, the film keeps doing things it thinks makes her look cool and badass, but it is actually cringe.

The more Stone appeared in the film the worse it got.

Overall, a step back from the first film.

2.5/5

Pros.

Nelson, RZA and Llyod

Odenkirk

The action

Cons.

Cliched story telling

Stone

The ending and how easily it wraps up

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Megan Two: Hold Onto Your Vagina Ladies

Summary

Grab onto your vaginas ladies, the quotable line that never gets old and one that sealed the death of Blumhouse.

Honestly, this film had flop written all over it in capital letters, the first film was a meme film and really did not need a sequel, it captured a moment in time and you could not do that twice. The first film was not even very good but at least it had some idea of its identity.

This film is not terrible there are plenty of worse films that you can see right now at your local multiplex, however, the central issue with it is that it does not know what it wants to be. Does it want to be an action film, a comedy, a science fiction film, these are all the things it tries its hand at yet never sticks with.

One thing that is for sure is that this film has long ago abandoned being a horror film, yes there are some gnarly moments but by and large there are no scares, and Meghan is now a full on good guy who is prepared to sacrifice herself, like Christ, to save the day. She even sings comforting songs now. I don’t know who at Blumhouse thought this was a good idea but they probably shouldn’t have a job anymore.

Some of the jokes are funny, and Jermaine Clement is always a welcome presence on-screen, but probably the best moment of the film is where they try and replicate the meme dancing from the first film, with a new dance sequence for Tik Tok. It has that same oh look they are doing the thing vibe you would want whilst they are doing something new.

Overall, a watchable action comedy film.

2.5

Pros.

It has a few funny lines

The dancing

Jermaine Clement

Cons.

It is tonally all over the place

It is not a horror film

It has pacing problems

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Jurassic World Rebirth: Anti-Capitalistic Dinosaurs

Summary

Universal just can’t let any of their franchises end.

So we are back with another group of people going to an island to see Dinosaurs but guess what things get out of hand. You haven’t seen anything like that before right?

Honestly it is just a little sad now that things have gotten so bad for the Jurassic franchise that they can’t even make real dinosaurs like the T-Rex interesting anymore and have to use mutants. This started under Pratt but continues here and is arguably played up even more.

The plot idea of needing samples for a cure for heart disease which the gang then decide to sell without a patent because capitalism is bad, is not just nonsensical and dumb but it is the sort of thing in the future that scientists will look back on and go this was why the kids were so dumb. It is probably literal brain rot.

Overall, it is not just slop, it is depressing slop.

1.5/5

Pros.

It has some good kills

You cheer when the humans get eaten

Cons.

It is brain rot

It shows that people don’t love dinosaurs anymore just big kaiju esque monsters

It is depressing

Scarlett Johansson is clearly there for the money

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

A Working Man: Jason Statham Takes On The Deep State

Summary

Jason Statham fights human traffickers.

So I am a fan of mindless action films but I have to say that this had a lot less joy than something like the Beekeeper wherein there was some comedy to proceedings. Not only that but the film isn’t as grisly or intense as would behove the other end of the action film spectrum so you get a film that has promise but that just feels a little boring.

Couple this with the fact that the film casts David Harbour as Jason Statham’s characters best friend and then just does nothing with him. They give him a few short scenes and allows him to arm Statham for his hunt but other than that he really has no role in the film at all.

Even the action leaves a lot to be desired as nothing crazy or intense really happens, it is mostly just scenes of characters going into rooms and getting into very stationary gun fights, they try and give Statham some fighting scenes to try and mix it up a bit more but it lacks any real visceral punch.

Overall, an action film destined to be forgotten about.

2.5/5

Pros.

It has promise

There are a few okay action set pieces

It is relatively well paced

Cons.

The action misses the edge it needs

It isn’t sure whether it wants to be comedic or serious in tone

It wastes the side characters

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Ballerina: Ghosts Of Girlbosses Past

Summary

Eve, Ana De Armas, is the female John Wick, Keanu Reeves, only she is not motivated by the death of a dog rather the death of her father.

So I ended up seeing this twice as I didn’t quite know how I felt about it, it is not terrible, but it is not good either. It does somethings like the worldbuilding very well, as do all the Wick movies, however, Eve as a character is fundamentally uninteresting. The issue really stems from the fact that they don’t give Eve any personality, other than her quest for vengeance we don’t really know her as a character, Wick himself has charm and you can see he is a rounded character, whereas Eve is just a woman on a mission and seemingly has nothing more to her than that. There was a scene early on when she was in training when it seemed like she might have a friend, this could have improved the character and made her feel more real, but that quickly fades away into nothing.

The action was mostly solid and I liked how they acknowledged that Eve couldn’t beat most of these guys in a straight fight and so needed to fight dirty, that did some positive work in getting rid of girlboss tropes. Though conversely, the film may have messed up Series lore having John taking jobs in between the films that we were not previously aware of, as well as raising the question of where was Eve during the quadrilogy

The song at the end was cringe that is quite true, it was a weird note to end things on, as though in the final moments they decided to become a girlboss film.

Overall, a very mixed bag for everything good it does it also does something bad.

2.5/5

Pros.

The action

Going against girl boss tropes

The world

Cons.

The ending song

It messes up the timeline

Eve was as a character very flat

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

In The Lost Lands: Zack Snyder Is That You?

Summary

Mila Jovovich is back for another fantasy action role, but can it live up to her past glories?

I enjoyed this film, I thought it had a great sense of style, and an interesting world rife for exploring. The issue, however, is that this feels like a film set in a world that you are already supposed to know, in other words it feels like a part two rather than a new film. This goes through every aspect of the film from characters to plot points, to the fact that magic and demons exist. None of this is really explored in any detail it is just there.

Jovovich still has it in terms of action and is believable as Sister Alice, however, her chemistry with Batista is none existent. To the point that when they somewhat get together at the end of the film it makes little to no sense.

In a sense despite being directed by Paul W.S Anderson, this feels like a Zack Snyder film. It has a lot of cool looking visuals and a great world ready to be explored, but in terms of storytelling, character development or sense it just is not there.

Overall, style over substance.

2/5.

Pros.

A cool world

Good visuals

The Badlands are interesting

Cons.

The characters are underdeveloped

The chemistry isn’t there

It makes no sense

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews

Novocaine: The Soft Man’s John Wick

Summary

Jack Quaid cannot feel pain.

So this film had some good gross out moments and the action was pretty solid, but it did not do enough to get past its very so so plot. It sorely wants to be a more comedic take on something like John Wick with him going after the bad guys to get his girlfriend, Amber Mindhunter, back. However, they don’t really explore him as a character beyond this.

The side characters and villains are equally as underdeveloped, they fill the role the script needs them to but they are barely beyond one dimensional and struggle to stay in your mind when they go off the screen

Overall, fluff lacking any kind of substance

2/5

Pros.

The action

A few funny moments

Cons.

The plot is very forgettable

The characters are underdeveloped

It has pacing issues

https://www.patreon.com/c/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send me a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to my donations page below

Help Support My Reviews