Jurassic World Dominion: This Is What Killed The Dinosaurs

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another shady biotech company is causing trouble for the world and all the leads of the Jurassic series must rise up and stand together to stop them.

It wasn’t so much that this film was bad just totally unneeded.

It was fun seeing the old cast again but the film never really gave them an interesting or compelling reason to be there. When pondering why they have returned to the series the answers given are not because the plot needed them, as the giant locus could have been defeated by the newer cast, no the clear answer is they were just brought back for the sake of nostalgia.

I thought this film would focus far more on how the dinosaurs have now been let lose on the world but really that gets swiped under the rug fairly early on, yes we see the odd dinosaur attack here and there but the locus plot seems to be all that the film focuses on. This is obviously disappointing.

Also seeing yet another evil biotech company just makes one roll their eyes as hasn’t the series had enough of that old chestnut? The biotech baddies even build a park esque location to house the dinosaurs which comes under attack towards the end of the film meaning we came dangerously close to the double cliché of having the dinosaurs once again escape into the world.

I am not saying this film is entirely bad there are a few good scenes and I think Jeff Goldblum, DeWanda Wise and Bryce Dallas Howard do manage to salvage the film to a degree, but there are just too many issues with this film. An example of one you would think easy to fix is the incredibly poor CGI when Claire, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, is ejected from the plane: it makes bad Youtube greenscreen work look good.

Overall, the franchise goes out on a meh.

Pros.

Goldblum, Howard and Wise

A few fun moments

Cons.

It feels cliched

The bad CGI

The boring locus plotline

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Dashcam: Triggering Libs And Running From Demons

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Annie Hardy, played by Annie Hardy, live streams her travels to England wherein she comes into some demonic trouble after pretending to be a food delivery driver.

I had been excited for this film for some time, then I read that some cinemas in the UK were banning screenings of this film as it was so offensive, naturally this made me want to see it more even though it proved to most likely just be a marketing tool, and now after seeing it I would say it mostly lived up to my expectations.

I don’t think this film is a homerun in the same way Host was, I think there is a lot to like for sure but it is not without its issues. My main issue with the film was the fact that the shaky cam got a bit too much at times with it going here there and everything to the point that it was hard to see what was going on. Moreover, the film is further made hard to follow by the fact that it never gives concreate answers to anything that is happening and you don’t know what is going on a lot of the time.

That said, I do think this film is scary and has a number of good scenes that stick with you after watching. The abandoned world of night time England made for a refreshing setting and also somewhat of a novelty.

Hardy’s lead is supposed to be unlikeable, I would assume, to give you mixed feelings as she comes into trouble. On the one hand you want to see the monsters get her but then again you also sympathise. I think there is some commentary trying to be communicated through that depiction within the film but it is not strong enough that I could tell you what it is.

Overall, a strong and refreshing horror film only held back by too much shaky cam and a lack of concreate answers.

Pros.

Strong scares

A novel and refreshing setting

The tension

The ending

Cons.

Too much shaky cam

It is never clear what is going on

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Bob’s Burgers The Movie: A Cinema Worthy Event?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Belcher family gets wrapped up in a murder investigation.

I am a big Bob’s Burgers fan and have watched the series all the way through many times over, as such when I heard about the show getting the movie treatment I was excited and thought it would be a significant event like The Simpsons Movie was. However, upon seeing it I am left feeling mixed.

My major issue with this film is that it didn’t feel like anything special to me. Unlike the previously mentioned Simpsons Movie it didn’t up the scale or do something that couldn’t be done on the small screen. The premise for this film could have worked well as a two or three part episode maybe, but for the series first film I just felt it was underwhelming.

On a more positive note, something I did enjoy about this film was how it gave us a deeper look into the series lore and we were given more information about some of the series big mysteries, such as how Louise, voiced by Kristen Schaal, came by her bunny ears. I also thought it was a nice touch to finally pay off the Tina, voiced by Dan Mintz, Jimmy Jr, voiced by H. Jon Benjamin romance that has run the course of the series. I hope these both play into the series going forward and aren’t just ignore for the sake of maintaining the shows status quo.

Overall, a fun time but maybe lower your expectations going in.

Pros.

It is fun

It develops the series lore

It pays off one of the shows central romances

Cons.

It doesn’t feel special or like anything that couldn’t have been done on TV

The humour feels weaker

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iCarly: iHit Something

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After getting pranked Carly, played by Miranda Cosgrove, joins influencer fight club.

I thought for the most part this episode was incredibly by the numbers. The premise of Carly joining a fight club feels like it was just shouted out when the writers were listing various different whacky situations they could put her in, furthermore this is reflected in the episode by the fact it is barely developed in anyway. Moreover, the justification for why Carly is angry, she was pranked, makes her look petty and the events of the episode feel like an overreaction.

The B plot about Millicent, played by Jaidyn Triplett, having a crush on a boy and then Spencer, played by Jerry Trainor, and Freddie, played by Nathan Kress, worrying that he is just using her for school work feels very been there done that and for the most part there is nothing new added to this incredibly formulaic idea here. The best part of this side plot is a joke made right at the end of the episode that actually made me laugh out loud which was nice respite from the tedium that was the rest of the episode.

Overall, fairly meh.

Pros.

One funny joke

It is watchable

The fight club is an interesting idea sadly though they do nothing with it

Cons.

It is too safe

It is very been there done that

It isn’t funny for the most part

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Scottish Mussel: A Vanity Project That Backfires

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ritchie, played by Martin Compston, is a Glaswegian criminal who decides to become a pearl thief, the film follows him in that pursuit.

This film is a vanity project plain and simple. Tallulah Riley writes, produces, directs and stars in this film in which she tries to convey an anti-poaching message that she believes to be important, sounds admirable right? Well… there are also copious scenes wherein Riley strips down into a small bikini to go and dive into Scottish streams, a task which would in real life be damn near suicidal, these scenes feel very drawn out and would under a male director feel almost pervy, whereas with Riley the question has to be why did she frame herself in this way? Was she trying to show off? Advance her modelling career? Provide a cheap thrill? Whichever, the scenes feel uncomfortable to watch.

Worse still this film is the opposite of an advert for Riley as an actor with her remaining stiff as a board throughout, only seemingly being capable of maybe one facial expression during the whole runtime of the film. Money well spent.

The only reason this film doesn’t get lower is that it is very aggressively average and by the numbers but isn’t necessarily bad. The uncomfortable scenes to one side I found the film to at least be watchable and mindless.

Overall, Riley burns money in a vanity project that doesn’t actually make her look good.

Pros.

It is mindless

It is watchable

Cons.

It highlights Riley’s ego

Riley doesn’t give a convincing lead performance

The film as a whole is trite and entirely predictable

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Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part IV

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A freshly defeated Kenobi, played by Ewan McGregor, must venture into the Inquisitors’ base to try and save a captured Leia, played by Vivian Lyra Blair.

I think this was the best episode of the series so far. I liked seeing Kenobi back in action fighting off storm troopers and actually being capable to a degree, I see why the show had him be so weak and ineffective to show how far he had fallen, but it was nice to see him recovering and returning to his old ways.

I enjoyed seeing the early form of the Resistance in the Path people, and though I would have liked to see another Jedi like maybe Quinlan Vos show up, maybe that was just wishful thinking. On that note, I am intrigued to see where they go with all the trapped Jedi beneath the Inquisitors base, that could be quite impactful for the wider universe.

I like the little bit of Vader, played by Hayden Christensen and voiced by James Earl Jones, we got towards the end, it was nice to see him pose a threat to Reva, played by Moses Ingram who up to this point has just been great at everything and got away with seemingly killing the Grand Inquisitor. Reva again had some very painful scenes, Ingram managed to pull off threatening in the torture scene though that would be hard not to, but in the proceeding interrogation her lack of facial acting abilities really shone through.

Seemingly Lucasfilm have greenlit a Reva series now, which highlights that the character won’t die and that Star Wars is almost more concerned with sending out a political message rather than producing good content, but who knows maybe it will be good if they actually give the series good writers.

Overall, a good episode let down once again by Reva with it now almost feeling like her show rather than Kenobi’s.

Pros.

Kenobi getting his groove back

The torture scene was surprisingly hardcore for Disney

I enjoyed the ending fight set piece

The Vader/Reva scenes were strong

Cons.

Reva is stealing too much focus from Kenobi and Ingram’s poor acting is starting to show

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Ms. Marvel: Generation Why

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Teenager Kamala Khan, played by Iman Vellani, dreams of breaking away from her strict parents and being like her hero Captain Marvel, sadly that seems like a faraway dream when we first meet her. However, all of that changes when she receives a magical accessory that allows her to have superhuman abilities.

I will open this review by saying two things that need saying before I get into a wider discussion on the episode. Obviously this series should be heralded from bringing in Marvel’s first grouping of Muslim characters, representation is very important and hopefully this show will allow new groups of people to look towards the MCU and see a hero that is like them; and that is a powerful thing. Additionally, my review for this episode and the coming ones in the series will be from someone who is fairly unfamiliar with Ms. Marvel as a character, I have read a few stories featuring her here and there but for the most part I am going in blind.

Now onto the review proper.

I thought that this may be the best episode of any of the Disney + Marvel shows thus far. I really liked the tone and the Edgar Wright esque cinematography and graphic blendings/ transitions, I thought this helped the show to feel fresh and different to both the other Disney + shows as well as the wider MCU.

Moreover, I also really liked the family focus here and thought it was done much better than in Hawkeye. Though I thought having Kamala’s mum, played by Zenobia Shroff, be a low key baddie, or at least an antagonist figure in her life is a little trite and played out, I thought her wider family dynamic was a lot of fun. Furthermore, the family actually felt like a family, whereas with the Bishops in Hawkeye, the mother and daughter felt more like estranged business associates rather than how I personally would view family, though again everyone’s family is different.

I also thought Vellani was terrific and instantly super likeable and warm, she sank into the world and character really well and I am excited to see more from her both in this show and the wider universe.

Overall, I enjoyed this first episode a lot.

Pros.

Vellani

The humour

The visual style

The family dynamics

Giving us a wider look into the MCU

Cons.

The mother daughter stuff felt a little cliché to me

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The Queen’s Corgi: Not Suitable For Kids

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Queen’s priced corgi Rex, voiced by Jack Whitehall, goes missing and must find his way back to the Palace.

In many ways this is not a film for kids. There are a lot of adult jokes and references that kids just won’t understand. Whilst I do enjoy this films lambasting of Trump, I think more broadly that this films comedy should have been toned down. For lack of a better terms these anthropopathic dogs are horny and make constant sex jokes which feels uncomfortable at times. Couple this with a sequence in which Rex is being hunted down by Trump’s female dog in order for the two of them to breed, which Rex, does not want, and is somewhat assaulted and you can see there is a lot of bad taste issues here.

The film as a whole is fairly by the numbers, it is a plot that you have seen many times before with cliched characters that you will have met many times over the years especially if you watch a lot of animated films. I would say that this film approaches so bad it is good range, but doesn’t quite get there as the bad taste stuff holds it back rather than adding any sort of charm to it. Ultimately you are left questioning the screen-play writer.

Overall, a strange film that most certainly isn’t for children.

Pros.

The Trump parody

The Queen and Prince Phillips relationship

Cons.

The sex jokes

The icky and troublesome sequence with Trump’s dog

It is aggressively by the numbers

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The Pentaverate: Mike Myers Enters The Culture War

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

5 men run a nice secret society that tries to help the world this is their story.

I am a big fan of Mike Myers and was looking forward to this series for a while, but sadly when I came around to watch it I found it to be far from perfect.

My major issue with the show is its final episode and ending, in which all the white male characters literally kill themselves for the sake of making the secret society more diverse and representational. This is the most obnoxiously on the nose thing I have seen in a while and feels like you are having a message forced down your throat. I thought the point of advocating for wider representation within media was to bring more chairs to the table not to remove them? Maybe I misunderstood.

The reason I am leading with that is because it really ruins what is otherwise a mostly good run. The first 5 episodes are all funny, charming and very watchable. There is a lot to enjoy here from the Jeremy Irons’ intros and the Shrek reference to the Key and Peele joke. I do think however, that killing off Keegan-Michael Key so early into the series was a bad idea as Ken Jeong is a poor replacement.

The humour on the whole is more hit than miss which I suppose is an achievement for a Netflix comedy series.

Overall, if you watch the first 5 episodes on their own then this show is quite good however sadly the final episode ruins the series in a major way by making the whole thing about spreading a message.

Pros.

It is funny

It is a mostly good showing for Myers

It is very creative

Cons.

The message is forced down your throat

Some outdated takes about the internet

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Black Ball: It Is Hard To Like A Cheater

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The bad boy of British bowls is born.

This film is almost entirely devoid of any charm. The whole premise feels as though it has been done before many times over, and nothing new is done here. The cast are almost entirely without any warmth or charm and you spend your time wondering asking which character you dislike the most.

My biggest question is why did they book Vince Vaughn for this? And also why did Vince Vaughn want to do this project? I don’t have answers for either of these questions but I spent a large portion of the film being baffled by his involvement.

Usually I would never have a bad word to say about Paul Kaye, but here is a rare exception. Kaye is not a good leading man and even when he wins in the end and it is supposed to be a happy ending you still find it hard to like him, due in no small part to the fact that the team win by cheating.

Overall, a waste of time and money, with a few funny moments that make it slightly more bearable

Pros.

A few funny moments

Vince Vaughn always gets a point from me

Cons.

Kaye

Almost everyone is unlikeable

The film doesn’t need to exist

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