Spiderhead: Chris Hemsworth Might Be The Next Anthony Hopkins

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Prisoners in a luxury prison are used as guineapigs for mind-altering pharmaceuticals.

It has been a long, long time since a Netflix original film has managed to impress me, however, this film managed to buck that trend.

I thought though the premise has been explored before, I enjoyed where this film took it. The twists and turns keep you guessing and it didn’t end up going in the way I was expecting it to. I thought Chris Hemsworth was a completely inspired villain, Hemsworth needs to take more of these sort of roles, he was not downright sinister but rather slightly unsettling and I thought he was very effective in the role.

Miles Teller on the other hand was a fairly forgettable lead and he wasn’t really able to blow me away in any significant way. Many other actors could have had that role and would probably have been better able to do more with it then what Teller can muster up. Comparing Hemsworth to Teller, really highlights the flaws in Teller’s performance.

Overall, a fun film with a good performance from Hemsworth.

Pros.

Hemsworth

The premise

The twists and turns

The ending

Cons

Teller

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Watcher: The Moral Of The Story Is Don’t Wave To People Who Watch You Randomly

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Maika Monroe, and her partner, played by Karl Glusman, move to Romania after the latter gets a job offer. However, during their time their women start getting killed and the lead finds herself facing more and more danger.

Other than her partner not being evil, despite being a dick, this film has little surprises in store. For the most part everything happens as you would expect it to in a thriller film and the mystery of what is going on is not much of one as it is incredibly obvious. The film does try and throw a few jump scares at you especially towards the end but they don’t land as they are blatantly signposted.

However, despite being obvious I do think this film has merit. It is incredibly tense and gripping and you can’t look away throughout it, It is always nice when a film can keep my attention. Moreover, Monroe continues to highlight what an unsung talent she is here landing another great and strongly compelling lead performance. I think the pros for this film just about outweigh the cons.

Overall, a fine thriller film made better by solid tension and a great lead performance from Monroe.

Pros.

The tension and suspense throughout

Monroe gives a really strong performance and conveys the stress and fear the character would be feeling in that situation in a very realistic way

The ending feels therapeutic

Cons.

It feels very familiar at times

Most the twists and reveals feel blatant and obvious.

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Abandoned: Straight Up Slop, Hard And Lacking Nourishment

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another horror thriller film about post-partum depression.

How many times are we going to be served the same slop? Is there supernatural goings on or does the lead character have post-partum depression, and or is the baby possessed or does the lead have post-partum. We have seen it so many times before and frankly I am becoming agitated with the generic storylines that keep making it into horror cinema, the Babadook did the idea well and all the films that have come after it have been bargain basement knockoffs at best.

What’s more I am beginning to question whether Emma Roberts can act or whether she simply gets roles because of who her aunt is. We have all seen and enjoyed Wild Child, Adult World and American Horror Story but outside of those productions Roberts seems to be phoning it in, unable to communicate any kind of emotion at all in any of her performances.

The mystery here isn’t a mystery if you have ever watched a horror film or a thriller before, it is just mind-numbingly obvious.

Overall, Roberts is slumming it for an easy pay check.

Pros.

It is watchable, it is not offensively bad.

Cons.

Roberts is awful

The mystery is entirely predictable

You have seen this film before

It is not scary or thrilling

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The Warriors: Shirtless Street Gangs

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A street gang from Staten Island must get back home after a get together of all the New York gangs goes awry and they become hunted.

To many this is a classic cult film and whilst this didn’t hit me in the same way something like Battle Royale did in that regard, I did find a lot to like about this film.

To get the negatives out of the way first I didn’t like the pacing off this film, it felt far longer than it actually and does drag in places. Moreover, the performances are a deeply mixed bag some of them are good but some are laughably bad, to the point where there is no way you can imagine them as gang members.

In terms of what I enjoyed, I liked the style of the film I thought it was very distinctive and had almost an apocalyptic feel to it that I thought worked really well. Furthermore, I also thought the film communicated great threat during its runtime, as such you were worried for the fate of the characters as danger seemed to lurk around every corner.

Overall, not perfect but very much a snap shot of a point in time.

Pros.

The style

The ending

The threat

Cons.

The pacing

Some of the performances were quite bad

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Emergency: The Responsible Thing To Do

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two college students, played by RJ Cyler and Donald Elise Watkins, plan to go on a seven party tour, however, these plans are turned upside down when a drunken underage girl falls into their care.

This film really didn’t know what it wanted to be. The dramatic elements and the comedic elements worked against each other totally. The drama of the film couldn’t be properly developed as the film spent too long trying to be funny and takes breaks away from its seriousness to try and crack wise, and likewise the comedy is mostly ditched in order to try and make a serious point. Neither thing is done well due to the other.

In interviews, people involved with the film view the shift within it as some what of a subversion, going from what you would think of as a teen sex comedy into more of a political dramatic film with a message. However, it is not as clever as that makes it out to be, basically they have sex jokes for the first half of the film and then force in a bunch of politics in the second half to try and seem deep and to have a point. As you might be able to guess the message doesn’t really land and the whole thing just comes off as pretentious.

There are a few funny lines here and there, hence why the film doesn’t get lower, but for the most part this is a slog to get through.

Overall, nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is.

Pros.

A few funny jokes

A good message, though it is poorly communicated

Cons.

The message is poorly done and feels forced in

The film feels pretentious and smug

The opening scene about trigger warnings is cringey as hell

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The Aviary: The Most Boring Movie About A Cult Ever Made

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two women, played by Lorenza Izzo and Malin Akerman, escape a cult run by the love interest from the Mindy Project

Really there isn’t a whole lot to say about this film. Its narrative of self determination and the roads that lead lost people to join up with cults and other harmful organisations is nothing new. Indeed most aspects of this film have been well-mined before by other better projects and this just feels like it is trying to replicate them to justify its existence.

The saddest thing about this film is the fact that it wastes an incredibly talented cast. Izzo, Akerman, Messina and Holt have all been really good in previous projects so there is a well of talent to draw from, yet this film just ignores that and has them be boring, forgettable and beige.

They try and do a horror/thriller aspect to the film wherein the characters believe they are being pursued by their former cult, or are they? However, in the end this just leads to a trite predictable conclusion.

Overall, a generic snooze fest that wastes good talent.

Pros.

It is watchable if there are no other options and you can’t go and do something else

Cons.

It wastes the talent

It is incredibly generic

It is dull

The actors are given nothing to work with

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The Silverton Siege: What The Mummy Gets Up To On His Off Days

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Loosely based on real world events, this film sees 3 young South African self-described freedom fighters hold a bank hostage whilst demanding the release of Nelson Mandela.

I thought for the most part this film was quite strong. It had good stakes and never let the tension slow down, by not having any respites or lulls in side stories or God forbid comedic relief this film allowed itself to be constantly engaging and intriguing.

Moreover, I thought the performances across the board were strong, I would not say there was a single weak performer. Thabo Rametsi was a compelling lead who really sold the struggle and inner turmoil of the character he was playing. Arnold Vosloo was also magnificent in his role and really brought something to the film.

I thought the social commentary of the film worked for the most part, however, in some areas it was laid on pretty heavily and as such felt a little clumsy. It certainly raised awareness and made me think a lot more about that time and place in world history, but I do think the writing could have been a bit stronger in this regard.

Overall, an above average Netflix film but certainly not something that will set the world on fire.

Pros.

Rametsi

Vosloo

The tension

Cons.

The social commentary is a bit too in your face and obvious

Pacing issues

Ambulance: A Return To Form For Michael Bay

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Criminal brother Danny and Will Sharp, played by Jake Gyllenhaal and Yaya Abdul-Mateen II, end up hijacking an ambulance after a bank robbery they are involved with goes down the pan.

In many ways I thought this was a return to form for director Michael Bay, it was tense, thought provoking and totally nailed its action/chase scenes. There were a number of times were you could say I was on the edge of my seat, and I thought Bay did a good job of racketing up the stakes, there is a surprising amount of action for a film where most of the characters remain in the titular ambulance for most of the film. I thought the best scene was most likely the cartel attack which brought the crazy manic violence to a whole new level.

I also thought the performances across the board were strong, Abdul-Mateen II and Eiza Gonzales both gave great performance and brought a lot to their respective characters, likewise Garret Dillahunt seemed to be having a lot of fun in his role too. The one bad apple in the bunch, however, was Gyllenhaal, that is not to say he gave a bad performance but rather that it was incredibly limited. I don’t believe that this is Gyllenhaal’s fault more so I think the character is written to be very two dimensional and then because of that Gyllenhaal has little to work with.

My main area of criticism would be the pacing, the film is on for way too long and there are a lot of unnecessary sub-plots that add nothing to the film. For example why did we need to see the marriage counselling session of Keir O’ Donnell’s FBI character? We didn’t. Maybe the film included it for a bit of levity within an otherwise quite dark film, but even in this case it comes off as needless.

Overall, the best film Michael Bay has made in a long while.

Pros.

Abdul-Mateen II

Gonzales

The action and stakes

The ending

Cons.

The pacing

The needless sub-plots

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The Outfit: The Perfect Fit?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A humble tailor, played by Mark Rylance, becomes wrapped up in a war between two rival Chicago gangs.

I thought this film leant a bit too heavily on Rylance, luckily he is more than capable of not only keeping it going but also elevating it, however without Rylance this film would be lost in a sea of mediocrity.

I thought for the few brief scenes he had Dylan O’Brien was a very welcome presence, and he also entirely lost himself in the role, however, the film kills him off early on and creates some what of a void for itself, as none of the other characters, bar Rylance, are in anyway interesting.

I enjoyed the mystery about Rylance’s characters past and found myself keenly invested in it. The same can’t be said for the warring gangs plotline which for the most part felt incredibly played out and more than a little overly familiar. The ending somewhat brought it all together to offer us something satisfying but even then I think the film could have gone further.

Overall, Mark Rylance makes this film what it is, but even he can’t propel it to greatness.

Pros.

Rylance

O’Brien

The mystery surrounding the lead’s past

Cons.

The central plot all felt very generic and familiar

The rest of the cast outside of Rylance and O’Brien are forgettable

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The Contractor: A Wannabe Tom Clancy Film

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another generic American military film, this time about a cash strapped soldier, played by Chris Pine, who becomes a private contractor to make ends meet only for it to go wrong.

This film felt like a Tom Clancy story without any of the smarts, or a David Makenzie film without the style. In many ways you have seen this film before, you know everything that happens in it and how it ends even before it has started, it is incredibly predictable.

Not only is it predictable but also aggressively boring as well. Yes, there is some competently put together action scenes and enough intrigue to at least keep you off your phone, but in no way is this film interesting. Kiefer Sutherland’s villain is obviously one from the get-go, so when he does betray Pine’s character you are left saying ‘finally’, rather than ‘ I didn’t see that coming’.

Another thing I didn’t like about this film was how little they gave Gillian Jacobs to do and how her role was worse than a cliché. Jacob’s plays the long suffering wife of Pine’s character and does seem to exist as a character or a person outside of him at least in the eyes of the film. I understand the film is a rough tough action film about men and war, but that doesn’t mean the female characters have to be reduced to barely human cliches good for raising kids and ignoring.

Overall, nothing you haven’t seen before.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few competent action scenes

Pine is serviceable

Cons.

It is dull

It is predictable

It reduces it’s female characters to less than cliches

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