The Mummy: One Of The Worst Films Ever Made!

The Mummy is an action adventure film, directed by the talentless hack Alex Kurtzman. The plot of this film revolved around Nick Morton (Tom Cruise), a solider who whilst on a mission in Egypt accidentally unleashes an ancient evil into the world. This was originally supposed to be the film that kick-started Universal’s Dark Universe, instead it was the film that ended up killing it.

First off, the abandoning of the horror roots of The Mummy series is a crime, but then replacing them with samey over the top generic action sequences is a crime against humanity. Whoever came up with the idea to turn The Mummy into an entirely action driven film deserves to be fired and never allowed to work in Hollywood again. Yes, I know the Brenden Frasier films exist, and yes, they were action focused as well, but there was also some horror in those films, there were many scenes that genuinely scared me the first time I saw them.

What makes this worse is the fact that they cast Tom Cruise in the lead role, he is horribly miscast and also brings no charm whatsoever to the film, he just plays a generic action hero type. The end of film sees him possessed by some kind of demonic force, yet he is still a good guy and the film still wants us to root for him. The film wants you to root for the devil, where was the moral outcry about that?

The supporting cast are all terrible, but for different reasons include some that aren’t their fault. Sofia Boutella as The Mummy does bring a great physicality to the role and she as a character is intriguing, however to the film’s bad luck, Suicide Squad was fresh in people’s minds as Boutella’s Mummy seemed all too familiar to the villain of that film. Also, the over reliance on CGI really shows with her character and the film could have been improved with more practical effects. Annabelle Wallis as the love interest (because that is all her character is), has absolutely nothing to do except be saved by Tom Cruise. It has to be said as well though that Wallis can’t act, she just can’t, wooden would be too nice of a word to describe her acting ability, her involvement in any film should be a huge red flag. Finally, we have Jake Johnson as the comedic sidekick character, who I actually liked, I thought he was funny, and I enjoyed what they did with his character. However, because this film was so poorly made his comedy stuck out like a sore thumb and didn’t mesh well with the overall tone of the film.

Overall, Jake Johnson is the best thing about this film, his character might be on screen for all of 20 minutes but hell you will miss him when he isn’t there. Tom Cruise is terrible, just terrible. This film deserves to rot in hell.

Pros.

Jake Johnson.

Cons.

Alex Kurtzman is a hack.

They ruined a great franchise.

Tom Cruise.

This film hates itself and the audience.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

What Makes A Final Girl?

I am a huge fan of the horror genre and what I want to talk about today is pivotal to it, I am going to talk about the trope of ‘the final girl’.

The Slasher genre is an important sub-genre of horror itself. The Slasher genre was at its peak in the 1980’s and the early- to mid-1990’s, it was in this period we got things like Friday The 13^th, Halloween, Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street. The basic premise of these films is the same whichever you look at, evil killer, sometimes supernatural sometimes not, hunting down and killing a group of teens, with one surviving at the end to fight the killer and win. This is ‘the final girl’.

Many different actresses over the years have put their own spin on ‘the final girl’, we’ve had Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), Nancy (Heather Langenkamp), Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Alice (Adrienne King). All of these characters and performances aren’t exactly the same, they would be boring if they were, but they do all share certain qualities and it is these qualities that I want to look at it in further detail.

Not just anyone can be a ‘final girl’, usually to be one you have to be pure (a virgin), have suffered some kind of past trauma, be of good moral character etc. That is a very specific set of characteristics. With these slasher films a very conservative life message was being spread around subtly, sex kills, if you engage in any kind of sexual activity the killer will get you and it isn’t just sex if you behave in anyway in these films that isn’t morally to the rigid standard of the time you would be cut down as well.

Were these films trying to make a point out of the moral purity of society at the time? Was it done with comical intent? We don’t know really is the answer to those questions, so by today’s standard the idea of a ‘final girl’ is quiet an antiquated concept. The stigma on sex isn’t as strong as it was back then, the older generation is more relaxed about these things as they grew up during times like the summer of love and so it isn’t the same.

Can there still be a ‘final girl’ in a 2020 film? Yes of course there can, but it would serve the film better if the more puritanical moral message behind the trope was left in the sands of time.

Written by Luke

Us: An Exercise In Failing To Live Up To Expectations.

Us is a horror film directed by Jordan Peele. The plot follows Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o), who, as a girl, had a run in with a doppelganger version of herself in a Santa Cruz house of mirrors. Little did she know that everyone has a double, these doubles are called the Tethered and they live in underground tunnels everywhere, all across the USA, maybe even the world; for years they have been planning one thing, their revenge, this film chronicles them getting it.

The expectations for this film after Peele’s seminal breakout hit with Get Out were sky high, how was he going to top it? Well in my opinion, he didn’t. Whilst Peele’s earlier film had some cerebral elements to it, it was still a very straightforward narrative, by that I mean when the film ended you knew what had happened. However, Us likes to smell its own farts, the whole film seems to be up to your interoperation and the themes seem to be more important than the story itself, there are numerous scenes and plot holes, such as why the Tethered don’t always copy what their surface dwelling doubles do even though it is established early on that they do, which ruin the great concept the more you think about it.

For me the biggest issue with this film is it’s ending. There is a twist reveal that who we thought was Adelaide has actually been the evil Tethered version of the character all along, which is a good twist, but then the film just kind of ends. The way the film ends with the Tethered all linking up and joining hands across America, leaves more questions than answers and it doesn’t feel nicely wrapped up, like Get Out did, which to me makes the writing seem weaker.

I have to talk about Nyong’o’s performance which was fantastic. Was it Oscar nomination worthy, no it wasn’t. However, what Nyong’o did was create two characters that felt entirely different, but also similar enough that they could be switched over and we would believe it. Moreover, she also brought a great physicality to the role, the final fight scene between her and Red, (Or who we believe to be Red), was excellent and really well done.

Overall, this film fails to live up to expectations as it leaves us going what? Rather than feeling satisfied. I still think however, this is a good film and Nyong’o is great in it, just that the challenge of having to follow Get Out proved too much for it.

Pros.

Good premise.

Scares.

Nyong’o

Cons.

Far to up its own arse.

Unsatisfying.

Fails to live up to expectations.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

American Horror Story 1984: Summer Killing, Happened So Fast!

American Horror Story 1984 is the latest iteration of Ryan Murphy’s beloved horror TV series. The plot this time around is inspired by 80’s slashers like Friday The 13^th and Sleepaway Camp and sees a group of camp councillors, each with their own mysterious past, travel to Camp Redwood for the summer, only to be hunted down by various slashers; twists and turns ensue.

In the horror TV genre American Horror Story is a staple, I personally rewatch old seasons of the show quite often, it can be both horrifying and entertaining to watch like nothing else can. However, it is also a bi-polar show at times, as the seasons vary quite a bit in quality, different people will love different seasons of the show, but some are definitely better than others.

For me, this was a step up from something like Cult or Roanoke but was also a step down from the previous season of Apocalypse, but that was always going to be a hard season to follow. I think the big issue with 1984 was twofold. Firstly and most dire of the issues, is the fact that there really wasn’t enough story here to fill out the episode count, it could have worked for a few episodes and it did, but as the season went on it just got more and more ridiculous and they tried to stretch it out. The second issue is the fact that series veterans Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters both sat this season out, both of these actors are incredibly talent and bring a lot to the show, which is why their absences from this season leaves such a vacuum.

That isn’t to say the cast that are there don’t do a good job, Emma Roberts is okay, and Billie Lourd is superb, one greatly upstaging the other. What’s more returning actor Dylan McDermott does a lot with very little and makes the most out of his time on screen, he has great on-screen serial killer chemistry with Zach Villa who plays Richard Ramirez; I would have loved to see McDermott’s character be a young Bloody face but I guess it just wasn’t meant to happen. Also, Villa was terrific and would be a great new addition to the cast moving forward.

Overall, the season was good, not to the same level as some of the other seasons, by no means is it great, but it is also not terrible either it is very in-between, it most certainly isn’t rush out and watch it TV.

Pros.

Slasher horror.

Interesting take.

Zach Villa and Billie Lourd are fantastic.

Cons.

Not enough story there.

Missing veteran actors.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Final Girls: Your New Favourite Summer Movie!

Final Girls is a comedy slasher film directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson. The plot involves a group of friends who get sucked into a summer slasher film and have to survive until the end. Along with this there is a subplot about the main girl Max (Taissa Farmiga), getting to meet a younger version of her mother, who appears as an actress in the in-film film, which is important as she has recently lost her, so there is an element of personal journey their as well.

I think the best praise I can give this film is that it is effortlessly charming, to describe it in as few words as possible it is the best kind of 80’s inspired B movie. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for parody film, Scary Movie, Cabin In The Woods, The Cornetto Trilogy and it carries on here, I think the reason I enjoy this film so much is because it is such a good take on the slasher genre, the mockery is so spot on, but also done with a heaping table spoon of love.

Another thing I commend this film for is using TV actors who don’t/ or at least haven’t yet had the chance to do a lot of film work. This is mainly true of Taissa Farmiga, who unlike her sister hasn’t really translated to film, she has been in a few minor roles here and there and there was of course The Nun, but overall she has been underutilised, she has proven time and again with American Horror Story that she is a fantastic young actor. This film also features Alexander Ludwig, of Vikings fame, who again shines when given the opportunity to be on the big screen. I think both of the young stars prove they have potential and talent in spades with the performances they give in this film.

What’s more I liked the mother daughter dynamic the film has going, I think it nicely adds emotional stakes to the film, without being too melodramatic. The same can be said of the film’s comedy it is a nice compliment to the film rather than being fully focused on, thereby taking away from the excellent slasher horror.

Overall, if you like Slasher films or just Horror in general then you will like this film, it is smart and an excellent parody, boosted by some genuinely fantastic performances; don’t let this one slip under your radar, check it out!

Pros.

It is smart.

It is an excellent parody.

It takes chances on unproven actors.

They pay off, by giving great performances.

The ending is a thing of beauty.

Cons.

Non.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Locke & Key (Season 1): Do Doors Need To Be Opened?

Locke & Key (Season 1) is a supernatural horror drama TV show developed by Carlton Cuse, Meredith Averill and Aron Eli Coleite. The show is based off the Joe Hill comic series of the same name. The premise is that a family move back to their ancestral home after their father is murdered, once they arrive they begin to find a series of keys that grant magical and dangerous abilities, however, all is not well as a demon is also trapped on the property and it too is looking for the keys to open the Black Door.

As someone who is quite a big Joe Hill fan, when I heard this series was announced I was very excited for it and for the most part it met my expectations. I have not read the comic series so I can’t say how well this works as an adaptation of those books, or how accurate it is.

I think at it’s core this show has some good horror bones, there are quite a few menacing and scary moments scattered throughout, although something to note is that this isn’t the same kind of horror you would find in something like The Conjuring, this is more child friendly horror; think a cross between the previously mentioned film and the Jack Black Goosebumps film. It is because of this that I personally didn’t think this show is scary.

Moreover, this TV show is defiantly aiming at a younger/teenage audience: because as well as the more family friendly scares, you also have a lot and I mean a lot of teenage angst and high school politics thrown in for good measure. For the most part these sections are used sparingly and spread amongst the horror elements well, however, sometimes we get one really long bit of relationship drama and it made me groan every time. I think it is this focus on teen angst that stops this show from being great.

My big complaint with the show is that you can’t have you cake and eat it, by that I mean it can’t be a good horror show if every 5 seconds we need to cut away to a will they won’t they relationship and by the same token we can’t have a good teen drama if it plays too much into horror, this show needs to pick a side and stick to it, it needs to decide what it wants to be.

Overall, it has potential to be great, but it needs to commit to the horror and get better writers.

Pros.

Solid concept.

Some interesting mythology.

It has potential.

Cons.

Paper thin characters.

Too much teen drama.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Happy Death Day 2U: No One Remembers Their Second Birthday

Happy Death Day 2 is a science fiction slasher film directed by Christopher Landon. This film again follows Tree (Jessica Rothe), as she becomes stuck in parallel dimensions, which all feature the time-loop from the first film and to escape she must discover who the new evil killer is and stop the loop.

I was a huge fan of the first film, It is one of my favourite films of all time and I went into this really excited to see how they were going to carry on this story, but sadly I was pretty badly disappointed with this film; it is however, still a good film, just not what I wanted.

Once again Rothe steals the show, she is fantastic as Tree and the fact that she isn’t a bigger star is nothing short of a cosmic crime. Her chemistry with Carter (Israel Broussard), is still fantastic and they are still the cutest couple in the horror genre; my romantic heart is still warmed by them.

The multi-dimensional storyline allows for some neat alternative situations which are fun to watch, albeit they do get a little stale after a while, but for the most part they’re entertaining. This ties into my main issue with this film, the director Christopher Landon has said that he wants to make every Happy Death Day film in a different genre: hence why this one focuses so heavily on science fiction. Therein lies the problem for me, I fell in love with this property as a horror slasher franchise I thought it did slasher in a smart and novel way, however, as a science fiction film that doesn’t really have any horror elements it doesn’t really work for me and comes off as boring; to many genre diehards this would be seen as a very weak and a very bad science fiction.

Overall, I admire the director for what he was trying to do, the different genre idea could have been cool, but how it is used here leads to a very generic, very bland science fiction film that leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe if you went into this with lower expectations than I did you would like it more, as there are still things to like such as the characters, but for me this film was deeply lacking.

Pros.

The Characters.

The Humour.

Jessica Rothe’s Performance.

The concept.

Cons.

The concept is poorly executed which leads to a boring and bland final product.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Happy Death Day: The Best Kind Of Birthday!

Happy Death Day is a black comedy slasher film directed by Christopher Landon. The plot revolves around meangirl Tree (Jessica Rothe), who finds herself trapped in a time-loop in which she is fated to die at the end; on her birthday no less. Tree then decides she is going to find out who her killer is and stop them, thereby freeing herself from the time-loop; growing as a person along the way.

I genuinely believe that this film is Blumhouse’s best! This is not only my personal favourite slasher film ever, even topping John Carpenter’s original Halloween, but also it is in my top ten films of the last decade; I will now try and highlight why I think it is so good.

Ultimately, I will boil it down to one performance Jessica Rothe. Rothe is the perfect final girl as well as one of the easiest characters to root for ever put to screen, Rothe plays the character with so much easy confidence and charm that it is virtually impossible to not like her. What’s more the writing for her character is equally fantastic, she is layered, on the surface she appears as the typical mean girl stereotype, but underneath she has so much personal trauma, which the film deals with in such a sweet way; take note god awful 2019 Black Christmas.

Moreover, the romance of the film between Tree and Carter (Israel Broussard), is so well done that they have quickly become by favourite on-screen couple, the chemistry between the two is pitch perfect and I love every second they are on-screen together, it warms my romantic heart.

The fantastic characters aside, this film also works really well as a slasher film, as it is both smart and scary. Happy Death Day is very aware of what it is and as such it is very tongue in cheek about being a slasher film, not to the point of parody however; very much in a similar vein to something like the original Scream in that regard. Furthermore, there is also a great sense of tension throughout and the mystery of the film, as in who the killer is, is a perfect encapsulation of it, as it keeps you guessing right up until the last minute.

Overall, this is one of my favourite horror films of all time and I think if you haven’t seen it you should, I guarantee you won’t be disappointed!

Pros.

The tension.

The mystery.

Blumhouse at its finest.

Great on-screen chemistry.

Jessica Rothe.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mandy: Hype Builds To A Letdown

Mandy is a horror thriller film directed by Panos Cosmatos. The plot follows Red (Nicolas Cage), a man who watches his girlfriend be murdered by a satanic cult, he then hunts down the cult members to extract revenge. This film is noted the as the film that started Nicolas Cage’s comeback and the film that ended his series of straight to DVD crap.

As someone who is a huge fan of Mr Cage I have been meaning to watch this film for a while, everyone I have heard talk about it seems to think it is some sort of transcendent experience, but I have to say I was deeply disappointed and utterly unsatisfied with it. I really feel like this is one of those sorts of films where it is down to personal taste, very much like Marmite some will love it others will hate it.

For me I disliked the fact that a lot of the film feels dragged out, we have a lot of scenes where no one does or says anything important and we just sit and listen to the techno synth soundtrack and I found that these scenes made this film boring to the point of being unwatchable. There were also a lot of scene where it is hard to make out quite what is going on, this isn’t helped by the fact that the film seems to be adverse to dialogue of any kind so there is little exposition to let you know what is happening.

As someone said to me recently this is the sort of film that is 100% better if you are not sober. It is so abstract and artsy that it borders the line of pretension, Mandy seems to think it is a much more intelligent film that it actually is; it is really not all that deep and the main reason people like it is because it is a horror film with Nicolas Cage being his usual menacing and manic self, not because it is a good film.

Overall, I think the concept is good and it is always a treat to see Cage on screen, but this film is unwatchable at times, it is so boring and dull and the abstract nature of a lot of the film only adds to this, making it infinity worse. Even as a diehard Nicolas Cage fan I didn’t like this!

Pros.

Good concept.

Nicolas Cage.

Cons.

It’s boring.

It thinks it is deeper than it actually is.

It is hard to finish.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Channel Zero, Candle Cove: Looking In The Abyss

Channel Zero: Candle Cove is the first of Channel Zero’s horror anthology series, which draws heavily on popular creepypastas and internet folklore using them as inspiration for the show. Candle Cove follows Mike (Paul Schneider), a troubled man who returns to his own home to figure out the mystery of what happened to him and his brother when they were kids. The series revolves around Candle Cove a magical TV show that would just come on at random times of the day and is only visible to kids, the series is manic and disturbing and makes the kids who watch want to kill themselves and others and it is up to Mike to get to the bottom of it and stop it.

I haven’t seen all of the seasons of Channel Zero, only 1,2,3, and I have to say out of all of them this season is the strongest. There is something incredibly menacing about the puppets of Candle Cove, this is doubly so when they start appearing in the real world and start tormenting Mike and the others. Whether it is this or something like The Children of the Corn there is something deeply troubling about seeing little kids kill, a base thing that you know at the core of your being isn’t right, that makes this show all the scarier.

Most of the acting in this season is done well Schneider plays manic and disturbed really well and you never know whether you can trust him or not, he is an unreliable narrator throughout, but this adds to the sense of mystery as you don’t know what is real and what isn’t.

My main issue with this series is that I thought it had too much going on. As well as all the Candle Cove stuff, you have various other plotlines, such as a person made out of teeth that appears sporadically throughout the series for no real reason. These extra plot threads don’t enhance the show in any way, rather they make it feel messy and overstuffed. I believe that this show could have really benefited from having better writing and I think if it had this that it could have been an incredibly strong horror series.

As it stands, there are good horror elements in there and a hell of a lot of tension, but the cutting away to plotlines that go nowhere and that you don’t care about undercut these elements and water down their effect, this is something the other seasons of this show suffer from as well, it is because of this I can’t score it highly.

Pros.

The Horror.

The Tension.

Schneider.

Cons.

Needless plotlines.

The Tooth Monster,

3/5

Reviewed by Luke