Pottersville: Furies Taking Over Small Town America, Who Can You Trust

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A drunk man, played by Michael Shannon, accidentally convinces his townsfolk of the existence of Bigfoot after a drunken stumble through the woods.

There wasn’t very much to this film. In truth it was nothing I hadn’t seen done better before, with almost everything being deeply played out and predictable. There was not a single moment in this film that took me by surprise.

However, that is not always a bad thing and sometimes there is a comfort in a familiar narrative where you know everything that is going to happen and to an extent that is true here. This film is watchable and none of the characters are particularly offensive in any way allowing you to playfully switch off whilst watching this as it requires nothing from you.

I liked Ian McShane’s drunk old hunter character I thought he was easily the funniest character of the piece and the only one I cared about. Though I did also like seeing Ron Pearlman in a role where he was having a laugh at his own expense and wasn’t taking himself too seriously.

To me the ending was a bit sickly sweet and I didn’t care for that at all if anything I found it to be very false and feel forced.

Overall, a deeply average film but one that is fine to watch if you have nothing better to do.

Pros.

Ian McShane

Ron Pearlman

The tease of a real Big Foot at the end

Cons.

There are no surprises

It is deeply generic

It isn’t funny

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Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight 2: Who Wanted A Mutant Romance Arc

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After the summer camp massacre the Polish police force goes in to investigate only to become terrorised by a new mutant.

There was no need for this sequel. I enjoyed the first film to a point it did not set the world on fire and had a fair number of issues but it had its moments, this on the other hand runs out of steam after about an hour and then you are just left with its rather obvious efforts to kill time.

Continuing on the theme of things no one asked for this film diverts attention away from the big battle of the third act by having a mutant romance and sex scene. Now who thought this was a good idea? To have the cops basically defeated within the second act was a terrible decision, it then left a huge gap that needed to be filled in the film’s run time and this is what they did with it for reasons known only to those that made this film. Not only does this romance arc drag on but it amounts to nothing. Making matters worse it runs out of time before it can give us the showdown between the special forces and the mutants the whole film has been teasing out, instead just showing the special forces capturing them. To say it is anticlimactic is an understatement.

Hopefully this series is dead and there won’t be a third film.

Overall, whoever decided to include the mutant romance single handily derailed this film.

Pros.

The opening is neat

The first act has promise

Cons.

The battle scene is over too quickly and at the wrong part of the film

The terrible romance plot

An underwhelming ending

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10 Things I Hate About You: Getting Paid To Date, The Solution To An Aging Population

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A modern remix of Shakespeare’s The Taming Of The Shrew.

Honestly upon watching this for the first time I don’t see what so many people like about it, it just seems like a fairly generic teen movie about the perils of dating and the horrors of high school. Couple this with a wealth of outdated views and yes, I didn’t see what the big deal was about.

I thought the film had some heart, not all the time, but in parts it did come through sweetly. I found myself enjoying the relationship between Julia Stiles’ character and Heath Ledger’s, those were the only characters that I found myself rooting for and if anything this film just served to remind me how much I miss Ledger. Both Ledger and Stiles do their best to elevate the source material, and give this film some kind of personality outside of Shakespeare. However, the over-reliance on cliches and thoroughly predictable dramas drag this film back down again.

Overall, I didn’t see the appeal of this one it reminded me of just another teenage high school movie. Yes, it had heart in some places but it also had multitudes of cliches and more than its fair share of iffy moments. A mixed bag.

Pros.

Hedger

A few sweet moments

Cons.

The Shakespearian dialogue really felt out of place

It had pacing issues

It felt deeply generic

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Bergman Island: A Marriage Falling Apart, The Same Story We Have Seen So Many Times Before

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A filmmaking couple, played by Vicky Krieps and Tim Roth, head out on a romantic getaway to the part of Sweden famous for housing Ingmar Bergman, however once they arrive there the lines between fact and fiction begin to blur and their relationship is tested.

I like Ingmar Bergman as much as the next film fan but this film really, really likes him. I will just state right now if you don’t know who Bergman then don’t watch this film as there are so many things you will miss. The odious grovelling at the feet of the famous director does get a little much, I understand what the film was going for but it badly loses it way.

Moreover, this film is a slog to get through. Partially because it is pretentious art house fare that is only enjoyable to a very small minority, and partially because it goes on and on and never seems to end. I think there is not enough story here to justify the length of the film and that it may have worked better as a short.

The leads are fine, which as most people know doesn’t mean anything positive. Neither Roth or Krieps are given anything to work with and as such only ever deliver deeply standard performances which squander their talent. The marriage falling apart storyline is nothing we haven’t seen hundreds of times before and goes exactly where you think it will.

Overall, pretentious, long winded, but trying an interesting concept with Bergman.

Pros.

I like Bergman

It has a few interesting moments early on

Cons.

It is far too art house

It is pretentious

It is hard to finish

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Red Notice: Gal Gadot Outshines Ryan Reynolds And Dwayne Johnson

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two art thieves, played by Ryan Reynolds and Gal Gadot, and one former FBI Agent, played by Dwayne Johnson compete against one another in order to pull off a multimillion dollar heist.

I think there is something deeply generic about this film, however the charm of its leads is enough to keep you watching particularly Gadot. Gadot gets a lot of unwarranted criticism for one very obvious reason and that is the fact that she is from Israel and Jewish which is abhorrent and anti-Semitic. Honestly, Gadot is the highlight of the film and though used sparingly she really does a lot with the scenes she is included in.

Johnson and Reynolds have a good back and forth, as Hobbs and Shaw proved, however there is nothing new for either here. Though both are charming I would like to see them take more risks Reynold’s especially, I am starting to get bored of the Deadpool shtick. The scenes with all three performers are certainly the strongest.

In terms of the story there is nothing really new here. As I said in my review of Netflix’s Army Of Thieves once you have seen one heist film you have seen them all, and that is very true here. Almost everything that happens here has been done before.

Overall, a very mediocre film made better by its leads.

Pros.

The chemistry between the leads

Gadot

The ending

Cons.

It is very generic

There are no surprises

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Home Sweet Home Alone: Better Than You Are Expecting

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A child, played by Archie Yates, is left home alone and must fend off against perceived burglars, played by Ellie Kemper and Rob Delaney.

I went into this one expecting the worst and was more than a little bit pleasantly surprised by what I got out of it.

I enjoyed Archie Yates, I though he played the role well and was funny. Likewise I enjoyed that this film gave the burglars a backstory, made them human, and made us like them. I thought this film was far more feel good than the original and I liked the ending where everyone just talked it out.

However, due to the fact that we like the burglars and we know that the whole thing this time around is just a big misunderstanding makes it hard to enjoy the traps. A big part of what makes a Home Alone film is watching the baddies get torn apart by the leads traps, however, here because we like them this is less pleasurable viewing and instead just makes the lead look like a brat. There really are no villains here and the conflict itself is entirely avoidable, a conversation would have defused it.

That said I won’t go so far as to say this film is better than the original but it certainly is as good. I really enjoyed this film’s sense of humour and it made me laugh a number of times throughout. Moreover, I like that it referenced the original films and teased us with the return of Kevin, McCauley Culkin.

Overall, a strong hit for Disney + that might be a bit too sweet for some.

Pros.

The humour

The baddies

Archie Yates

The ending

Cons.

The traps are less enjoyable because we like the characters they are hurting

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Clifford The Big Red Dog: The Worst American Accent You Are Ever Likely To Hear

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An unpopular girl, played by Darby Camp, becomes friends with a gigantic dog.

This was one of those times when you go into a film with low expectation and they are met. There are so many baffling issues with this film and in reality it was doomed from the beginning. Chief amongst these is why does Clifford, the gigantic dog, look like that?

Indeed, I don’t know if it is become of covid limitations or budgetary ones but Clifford looks bad, there is something about the CGI render of him that looks at best uncanny at worst like something out of the early nineties. As a result of this Clifford is always shot in a very specific way, which if you know what to look for with good CGI just shows how poor it is, and suggests that maybe the filmmakers were aware of it.

I think the greatest crime that this film commits is that it wastes your time. Basically there was no reason for this film to be made, the story wasn’t there and neither was the audience, it was a cynical effort to cash in on decades old IP and one that looks set to backfire badly.

What upsets me the most about this film is what it does to Jack Whitehall. Whitehall can be very funny and can be a good actor, look at Good Omens for proof of that but here…….. Firstly they give him a god awful American accent that really doesn’t work and that there is no reason for this as his character’s sister, played by Sienna Guillory, is English and has an accent reflecting that so why can’t he?

Overall, your kids deserve better than this so don’t take them to see it.

Pros.

It is short

Whitehall has one or two good jokes

Cons.

Whitehall’s horrid accent

There is nothing new about it and it has no reason to exist

The Clifford CGI

It is a slog to get through

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Father Christmas Is Back: Daddy Issues At 40

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of posh people come together to celebrate Christmas, however an unexpected guest throws things out of whack and causes emotions to fly.

I thought this film was good, for the first hour and a half and then it didn’t know when to end. Indeed, the first hour of this film is quite good, everyone is funny a lot of the jokes land, the actors have good chemistry and it doesn’t feel too overly semimetal. However, then the ending happens.

The final act of the film goes out of its way to redeem Kelsey Grammar’s absentee father character, having him basically be a saint and having left as he was a victim of infidelity. He even saves the day at the end of the film if that isn’t enough for you. I think the moral ground that this film takes in this regard is shaky and falls apart the more you think about it. Moreover, the finale just feels bloated so whilst it is doing all of this grandstanding you just want it to end.

Overall, one of Netflix’s better Christmas films for sure, but not one without its own share of issues.

Pros.

John Cleese

It is funny

Two thirds of it are very good

Cons.

The moralising

The ending and its bloat

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Dangerous: Lacking The Charm Of His Father

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A dangerous young man, played by Scott Eastward, goes on a killing spree after the death of his brother.

I just want to preface this piece by stating nice and clearly that you can like someone as an actor in films without condoning their real life actions, yes I am talking about Mel Gibson, I thought that was a fairly self-explanatory concept but some out there think it makes one a hypocrite- ah well.

I think Scott Eastward is going to struggle to ever be anything even remotely close to what his dad was/is in the action genre. He does not have his dad’s charisma in any way and frankly I just don’t think he is a good actor, he seems ill-suited to any role he is cast in, but hey nepotism so he keeps getting work.

On the whole I thought this was an incredibly cheesy, not in a good way, and generic action film. All of the characters have the depth of a shallow puddle and felt entirely made out of cliches, with Famke Janssen probably getting it the worst: nearly every line that comes out of her mouth is groan worthy here.

The one redeeming factor of the film is the performance from Mel Gibson who is being wonderfully odd and either intentionally or unintentionally hilarious. The film picks up whenever he comes back on screen.

Overall, this one is destined for the bottom of the bargain bin.

Pros.

Mel Gibson being strange

It is short

Cons.

Eastwood

It is generic

The dialogue is generally terrible

It is dull

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Bigfoot Famous: What One Has To Do To Stay Relevant

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

No longer famous influencer Coley, played by Steph Barkley, and her boyfriend and fellow influencer Jericho, played by Sam Millman, head out into the woods in search of Big Foot as a means of regaining the public’s collective attention.

I enjoyed this film far more than I than I thought I would, often when films revolve around influencers doing things it is usually done in a gimmicky way, that is either ‘oh look at how stupid kids are today’ or ‘aren’t we down with the kids’, I found this to be neither of those and actually be in possession of some real heart.

I thought Barkley did a great job in the lead and made Coley more than two dimensional. I thought the film examining her relationship with Jericho was interesting as it allowed her to be more vulnerable and get beyond the influencer mask. I thought the emotional core of this film was actually quite strong as a whole.

My one criticism of this film would be that often the humour didn’t work for me. Now obviously humour is subjective so what didn’t work for me might work for you, however I found this film to be painfully unfunny each time it tried to go for a laugh.

Overall, a film with a lot of heart but not a lot of laughs.

Pros.

Using the influencer characters in a non-gimmicky way

The heart

Steph Barkley

Cons.

The humour

The ending and its message

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