Toy Story: They’re Alive!

Toy Story is an animated family comedy film directed by John Lasseter. It shows us a world where Toys are sentient, alive, and exist souly to entertain their human owner; who of course have no idea that they are walking and talking when he/ she leaves the room. As the story begins, we meet a handful of these toys, but the main two that we follow for the rest of the film are Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), and Woody (Tom Hanks). Buzz is the new toy on the block and must adapt to his new life, whereas Woody knows the game and becomes jealous of Buzz and he seems to be the new favourite. The two go on an adventure together which proves eye-opening for the both of them.

This is a Pixar masterpiece for a reason. A fond remembrance made me put this film on and boy was I impressed, despite this film coming out over 20 years ago the animation and the themes put some of the animated films of recent years to shame in my mind. To say it holds up would be an understatement, it is timeless.

There are so many iconic moments in this film that would become legend as the series progresses, you get things like the abused toys rebelling against Sid, the first time we are introduced to the aliens and many more. It was nice to see these moments again.

The heart of this film is the relationship between Buzz and Woody and the friendship that forms between them over the course of the film. I have to say watching it back all these years later it still got me; forget Disney magic this shows us the now extinct Pixar magic when they had a direct line to your heat.

Overall, if Toy Story was released now even in all of its late 90’s glory it would still impress people and blow them away, it transcends time and manages to make you feel the same sense of wonder and joy as the first time you watched it.

Pros.

The animation quality.

The theme song.

The fond sense of nostalgia.

The themes are still timely.

The friendship between Buzz and Woody.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Scooby Doo And The Reluctant Werewolf: Made To Sell Toys

Scooby Doo And The Reluctant Werewolf is a made for TV animated film directed by Ray Patterson. The plot sees Dracula (Hamilton Camp), and his legions of doom seek out Shaggy (Casey Kasem), to take up the role of the werewolf driver for the Monster Road Rally.

This film is the epitome of rose-tinted glasses. I remember watching this film as a kid and enjoying it, clearly as a kid I had no taste.

This much like the recent released Scoob film is not a Scooby Doo film, the core element of what makes Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo, which is solving mysteries, is nowhere to be found. The film seems more focused on being some kind of racing film, or perhaps some botched spin-off of Whacky Races. I wouldn’t be surprised if this film was just made to sell toys.

For a film that just skirts the hour and a half mark it feels very long. I for one found all the racing, which makes up a good portion of the second half of the film to be tiresome and repetitive; it was the same thing over and over again to the point where you just wanted it to be over.

Moreover, some of the comments made in this film are blue, they would have been blue for a kids animated film in the 80’s, but in today’s climate they are even worse. There are multiple jokes where Dracula threatens to beat his wife, yes, I understand he is the bad guy, but why put them in a kid’s film? I get that it is a reference to the Honeymooners, so I am left asking is this for the parents watching?

Overall, unlike many of the childhood films I have reviewed recently this one didn’t hold up. It was boring and to me not a real Scooby Doo film.

Pros.

Neat monster characters.

Scooby and Shaggy have fun.

Cons.

The domestic abuse jokes.

The repetitive racing.

It is just boring.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Suburbicon: Not All Actors Can Or Should Direct.

Suburbicon is a crime black comedy film directed by George Clooney. The plot sees tensions mount in a small suburban town after robbers brutally kill a wife/ mother. However, as the film progresses it is shown that there is much more afoot, sinister things indeed and they only escalate.

This should be the last film Clooney directs. That is how I will open this review. Going into this film I had heard mixed things, but the trailer looked good, so I pressed on and my god I wish I hadn’t.

The biggest flaw of the film is the script and the story, really just all the writing in this film is terrible. It is written by the Cohen brothers, who personally I believe are incredibly overrated, and this film proves that not everything they touch turns to gold. There are so many random plot threads all happening at the same time and none of them fit together. It is confusing and poorly structured.

The second biggest flaw is how on the nose it is. Now I have no issue with a film getting political, hell if done right it can be a thing of beauty, but this film did not do it right. While we have the murdered mum storyline, we also have the story of a black family that moves in down the road, they’re abused and humiliated and then later in the film attacked in their home. This plotline does not feel needed or done well it feels stitched together to try and make a point. The ending sees the sons of each family playing catch over a shattered fence, as thought the metaphor is supposed to mean something; all it meant to me was that I have wasted my time. It is not deep or clever and it has about as much finesse and nuance as a festering animal carcass.

Overall, this film proves that not all actors are cut out to direct. Stay in front of the camera Mr Clooney please.

Pros.

The cast are trying, it is just a shame they have nothing to work with.

Cons.

It fails spectacularly to be deep.

The metaphors are ham-fisted and tiresome.

The writing stinks.

None of it makes sense.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

You’ve Got Mail: A Spam Email

You’ve Got Mail is a romantic comedy film directed by Nora Ephron. The plot sees millionaire Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), begin emailing independent bookstore owner Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan). For most of the film they don’t know who is on the other end of the email. However, the two do have many interactions in the real world and hate each other bitterly, can you see where this is going?

This film manages to do the impossible, it makes Tom Hanks unlikable. Both the characters in this are deeply unlikeable and cliché filled, but before I get into that I just want to tell you a little something about Tom Hank’s character. So he is a ruthless millionaire you seems to care about no one but himself, he treats the people around him like dirt, he drives sales of Kathleen’s bookstore so low they are forced to close. If all that wasn’t bad enough, he catfishes her, he realises far before she does that they have been emailing each other, and rather than tell her decides to play games with her; he is a sadist.

So why pray tell should we root for them to be together? What sort of message is that sending? Hey kids its okay to play with people’s feelings and manipulate them for your own amusement, questionable to say the least. Meg Ryan’s character is little better, but she is highly irritating from the get-go, as she encapsulates the self-righteousness of a small business owner in the worst and most stereotypical way, her high-road approach is grating.

Overall, maybe this was a ‘you had to be there’ sort of film. To me, I can’t understand why this is considered a modern classic. Both the leads are vapid, self-entitled, arseholes and the message is a toxic as they come. Maybe I am missing something.

Pros.

The generic rom com beats.

Cons.

The message of the film- cat-fishing is not romantic

Both the leads are awful people.

You don’t or shouldn’t want the leads to be together.

It feels cliché and lacklustre.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Slumdog Millionaire: Love Finds A Way

Slumdog Millionaire is a drama romance film directed by Danny Boyle and Loveleen Tandan, it is based on the book Q & A. The plot follows Jamal (Dev Patel) and his brother Salim (Madhur Mittal), throughout their lives. Starting off with them as young orphans on the streets and showing them grow into men.

This film is a gut-punch. A lot of sad thing happen across its runtime that might be a lot for some people, the scene when the kid gets his eyes scooped out is particularly hard to watch, but it makes sense as it is reflective of life. The struggles we see our characters go through only makes us the audience root for them more, which is rewarded in the third act when Jamal wins twenty million rupees.

The central romance between Jamal and Latika (Freida Pinto), is one for the ages. We almost see them get together so many times, but it always seems as though a romance for the two is just out of reach. Jamal, however, never gives up as he keeps trying and trying until eventually a world exists where they can be together; if that doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, I don’t know what will.

Overall, this is a triumph for Danny Boyle in so many ways he manages to create a film that makes you feel a wide array of emotions very deeply all while being completely engaged by a tight, well written story. Also we get a lovely dance number at the end. What more could you ask for!

Pros.

The love story.

The performances from the main three actors.

It is tight and compelling.

You care about the characters.

The dance scene at the end.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

My Spy: Child Actors Are The Worst

My Spy is an action comedy film directed by Peter Segal. The plot follows tough, manly CIA agent JJ (Dave Bautista), as he is sent to investigate the family of a potential nation threat. However, him and his partner get rumbled by Sophie (Chole Coleman), a young girl who runs circles around the two agents. The two then strike up at deal that basically ends in JJ becoming her new father.

Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an action movie. Other than the opening sequence there is no action in this film until the last ten minutes. To call it an action film is laughable, as SpongeBob probably has more of a right to call itself one over this film. Secondly when we do get action, the film seems to think it is better and cooler action than it actually is; what we get is boring at best.

Where this film shines is in the comedy of Dave Bautista. The man’s transition to comedy is one of the best things to happen to cinema in the last 10 years. He was very funny in this film and had a lot of great lines as did his partner Bobbi (Kristen Schaal). The little girl however was not funny. Now I am not going to say too many negative things about her performance as child actors are easy targets, but I will say she was incredibly annoying right from the off, not only that but the way she was hell bent on setting up JJ with her mum was bordering on obsessive and it was weird.

Obviously, the whole plot makes no sense, so I won’t even bother trying to explain it. I will say it is aggressively dumb though.

Overall, despite some highpoints like the comedy as well as great prop choices, this film is cringey and feels about 20 years too late. It is not an action film and despite a valiant effort from Bautista and Schaal it is not much of a comedy film either.

Pros.

Dave Bautista.

Kristen Schaal.
Cons.

The kid.

The dumbness of it all.

The weird way the kid went about setting up JJ with her mum.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cheaper By The Dozen: Life After Kids

Cheaper By The Dozen is a family friendly comedy film directed by Shawn Levy, it is based on the 1950’s film of the same name. It follows mum and dad duo Tom (Steve Martin), and Kate (Bonnie Hunt), as they try and go through life with 12 kids, the film shows the ins and outs of the Baker family.

I just learnt when I watched this film recently that it was not a Disney film. It has that look to it, that very middle-class sense of chaos, the all-American dream where nothing bad every really happens and everything works out at the end of the day. This is live action formula Disney used with its’ live action movies in the 90s and the 00’s and still a little bit today. The fact that this film also adheres to it is what made me think it was a Disney film.

From a family friendly point of view this film has a lot of charm, it has some jokes, it has some heart, it has good positive messages; all round it is very wholesome. The humour didn’t work for me personally, I didn’t find any of the jokes making me laugh, but comedy is subjective. The heart of the film however did work on me, I thought the scene when Tom goes looking for his kid that has ran away is deeply touching and there is something in it that really resonates with me.

The performances are all what you would expect, that is not a bad thing. I think the best performance is probably from Martin himself and he is very believable as this dad character. I also think that Ashton Kutcher steals all the scenes he is in, he was the best supporting character.

Overall, this is a very formulaic family movie for good or bad that is what it is. The heart of the film connected with me in such a way that I loved it even if it was a bit cheesy and the humour didn’t work.
Pros.

Steve Martin.

Ashton Kutcher.

The heart.

The wholesomeness.

Cons.

It feels very formulaic and predictable.

The humour didn’t land.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Road To El Dorado: Streets Paved With Gold

The Road To El Dorado is an animated adventure film directed by Bibo Bergeron and Don Paul. The plot sees two rouges Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh), head down to South America around the time of the Cortes Invasion. The two are there to try and find the treasure of the city of El Dorado, one there they pretend to be Gods; funny shenanigans ensue.

This was a personal favourite of mine growing up, I watched it religiously. I recently watched it again to see if it holds up and I am pleased to say it does. Much like when I was a child, I enjoyed myself and found a smile never too far from my face.

I have been noted as saying I like animated films with talking animal sidekicks, I tend to find they’re my favourite characters, this film however negates that by having two leading characters rather than just one. The interplay between the two men is just what I would enjoy out of a relationship like Mulan and Mushu in that film, I buy the relationship and I think it is funny.

I love the South American inspired colour pallet and design choices of this film, much like I said about Pocahontas I feel like when I film taps into this sense of culture and identity it really brings it alive visually.

I thought all the characters were great, but Rosie Perez did end up stealing the show as Chel, she was very lovable and her relationship with the two men was always amusing.

Overall this film stood the test of time for me, so I hope you can watch it and enjoy it too. It is definitely one of DreamWorks’ hidden gems.

Pros.

The design and the animation.

The characters, particularly Chel.

A great voice cast doing good work.

The songs and the humour.

The bad guy felt threatening, as one should.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sleepaway Camp: Sickening

Sleepaway Camp is a slasher horror film directed by Robert Hiltzik. The plot sees a traumatised young girl be sent off to summer camp, while she is there things go from bad to worse and people start dying left and right, but who is the killer?

I will start this review off by saying I don’t like this film, it felt uncomfortable to me in a lot of ways. I think some of the scenes, that I will get to, felt very predatory and the whole film as a whole felt very icky. I would strongly recommend no one watches this film as it doesn’t deserve it, it deserves to be forgotten.

Let’s get to the root of my issues with the film. Firstly very early in the film it is revealed that one of the staff at the camp is sexually attracted to kids, this is then treated by the other characters as no big deal. He then tries to assault one of the kids, again no one seems to say anything. Yes, the character is the first to die, but I ask you what was the need to include him in the first place? Did it add anything to the story? I don’t think so.

My second issue comes from a scene later on in which a camper is showering, it tries to parody Psycho, my issue with this scene is that the girls’ age is questionable, she look quite young and the way it is shot feels predatory. It is almost as thought the film is trying to sexualise this character, despite her supposedly being young. There are a lot of other tasteless scenes scattered through that raise alarms for me, but no doubt some people will call me puritanical, these scenes made my skin crawl and like I keep saying are very unnecessary.

The twist at the end, I didn’t see coming, but it also didn’t blow me away.

I think this film likes to think that it can compete with other 80s slashers, maybe it even thinks it is better than them, but to me this film shows everything that is wrong with the time period and the genre. Give me Friday The 13^th or A Nightmare On Elm Street any day of the week over this predatory trash.

Pros.

I didn’t see the twist coming.

Cons.

It is way too sexual about young kids.

The needless peado character.

The shower scenes that feel icky.

It is slow for an hour and 20 minutes.

It shows the worst of the genre.

0/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Every Animated Film Needs Eddie Murphy

Mulan is an animated action and adventure film directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. The classic Disney plotline see resilient character Mulan (Ming-Na Wen), take up her family’s mantle of fighting in the Imperial Army, so that her elder father doesn’t get drafted. The only issue is that women are not allowed in the Imperial Army, so she must pretend to be a man, a feat she manages while accompanied by a wise-cracking dragon and a lucky bug.

I fondly remember watching this film when I was young, and I enjoyed it even more when I rewatched it. This is to me the perfect example of ‘Disney Magic’, there is something about the songs and the hand drawn animation that calls to me and makes me smile. However, it also makes me worry about the new remake coming out; as I strongly believe that it will be losing its’ heart.

I think the songs make this film, again another reason the song less remake troubles me. ‘Make A Man Out Of You’ to paraphrase, is one of my favourite Disney songs of all time and I think it perfectly captures the spirit of the film and is catchy and memorable.

I also enjoyed the characters Eddie Murphy as Mushu is perfect casting he manages to make the character immediately likable whilst also endearing and funny. Mulan herself is inspiring and shows that we can all be a little bit bravery and that we can all be heroes; I think she is one of Disney’s best role models. Finally, I enjoyed the villain Shan Yu (Miguel Ferrer), I thought he was everything a good villain should be, intimidating, menacing and memorable.

Overall, a Disney Classic that still has a place in 2020. It more than holds up and is still a lot of fun to watch!

Pros.

The humour.

Mulan herself.

The action.

The villain.

The songs.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke