Dream Horse: A Questionable Welsh Accent

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Many have taken issue with Toni Collette’s Welsh accent in this film, but after hearing it, it’s not as bad as I was expecting though I can’t really speak to the matter as I am not Welsh but have lived in the area in the past.

This followed a similar film to a lot of other feel good animal films, it certainly wins no points for originality, they raise the horse, it brings the community together, it proves to be a winner, oh no the horse is injured, its okay in the end: beat for beat you can see where it is going.

The film for the most part is functional as a feel good film, that is to say it made me feel good, however, I would say it has pacing problems that make it less pleasing and more irritating as it belabours the point in a few sections.

Overall, this film is very much what is says on the tin, your early guesses for what the film will be like based on the trailers and other promo materials will be pretty much right- this film is not surprising. However, the question is does it need to be? As though predictable there is also something comforting about this film.

Pros.

It is feel good

It is nice to see some Welsh representation within wider British Cinema, even if most of the actors cast are not actually Welsh

You become attached to the horse

Cons.

It is bloated

It is deeply obvious and predictable

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Death In Texas: Perhaps The Dumbest Protagonist Ever

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I put this film on for one simple reason, Stephen Lang. I greatly misunderstood what the film was going to be about and what Lang’s role within it was going to be.

So firstly, this presents itself as an action film, maybe even a thriller, it is not. The majority of the screen time is the lead having conversations with his dying mother and him drinking in a bar; exciting I know. When we do get some action it is usually just the protagonist walking into a room shooting someone and leaving, it is not very exciting.

Lang, who is only really a minor character, is surprising playing more of a sweet, damaged character than the fighter/badass I was expecting. The film is definitely better for having him in it, yet the film doesn’t really do much with his character.

The ending makes less and less sense the more you think about it, but it is really just par for the course.

Pros.

Lang

A few tense scenes

Cons.

The ending

The amount of needless scenes

The lack of good solid action

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Under The Silver Lake: Paranoia Incarnate

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

David Robert Mitchell is quickly becoming one of my favourite directors, It Follows is in my top 5 films of all time and though, like I you may have heard mixed things about Under The Silver Lake it is almost as good- that is a very high compliment indeed.

I found the bizarre and often sinister world of this film to be akin to a confused nightmare, but one that is also pleasant to experience. I thought the world of this film is so vast and so well set up that it is in desperate need of a sequel. I thought it was very clever to leave a lot of the mysteries open ended, as to give them an ending and tie them off would almost be a disservice, this way the idea of what could be will endure in the viewers minds.

Moreover, Andrew Garfield is quickly becoming one of my favourite performers he is so versatile and plays strange and odd characters better than anyone else, with the exception of Nicolas Cage.

Overall, though you may have heard mixed things this film is very much worth checking out.

Pros.

The world

The ending

Garfield

The deeper meanings

Cons.

It does have bloat and could do with being shorter

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Drag Me To Hell: Watch Out For Vomiting Corpses At Your Next Wake

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I remember watching this years ago and at the time thinking it to be quite frightening, however, upon watching it again now it really isn’t, and if anything the more overt comedy elements go out of their way to take away any genuine fear from the proceedings.

Likewise the use of practical effects and gross out scenes become a double edged sword within the film, as they both add an element of realness and grimness to the film which does enhance it to a degree, but also often look quite bad by modern standards almost to a humorous degree. Scenes such as when the lead goes to the wake and has the corpse leak fluid into her mouth a few times are funny, however this takes away from the threat and fear of the film.

I have written about this several times, the key to creating a good comedy horror film is to allow the film to be both scary and funny throughout the film without favouring one over the other. The issue here is that clearly Raimi has favoured the comedy over the horror.

I think the premise of the film is strong, if a little reliant on outdated cliches, and the idea of being dragged to hell in a number of days is a terrifying concept. I found it evoking of films like The Ring wherein our protagonist has to desperately hunt down a mystery way to free themselves from the situation often for it not to work out the way they hoped, highlighting the futility of the struggle: the ending of this film is very reflective of this concept.

Overall, Raimi has an interesting premise here but loses any real scares to indulge in a juvenile sense of humour.

Pros.

The concept

The ending

The performances

Cons.

The practical effects are horribly dated

The comedy

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The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard: Ryan Reynolds Needs To Move On From Deadpool, This Is An Intervention

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I think the world’s love affair with Ryan Reynolds might be coming to and end. There was a time, when Reynolds was popping up in every film with his Deadpool esque zany comedy- that got old quick. Nowhere is that more true than in this film.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a perfectly fine film, not spectacular in anyway, really quite forgettable: it did not need a sequel. Yet for some reason the same jokes and cliches are forced back out of the woodwork again for this film. We get it Reynold’s character doesn’t like confrontation and is very into safety and Samuel Jackson’s character is the opposite, we get it. Yet the film feels like it needs to repeat this over and over again, to make matters worse it thinks this is funny.

Where this film differs from its predecessor is its focus on the wife, hence the name. Salma Hayek’s Sonya is the very loud wife of Samuel L Jackson’s Hitman, and though in the first film she had a few breakthrough moments here she is quickly rendered nothing more than a one note caricature. Sonya is probably the least annoying of the main three characters though she only has a few moments where she is anywhere near likeable. This is by no means a fault on Hayek’s acting, but rather a script that thinks yelling loudly in Spanish is both badass and hilarious at the same time; sidenote it is neither.

To return back to my earlier points about Reynolds, he really needs to come up with something fresh as he can’t keep riding the snarky Deadpool coat tails forever, this film is proof of that.

Overall, definitely not worth going back to the cinema for this film is made for the bargain bin.

Pros.

Salma Hayek has a few moments of good acting that connect

The cringe humour made me laugh a good few times, though I don’t think it was deliberate on the film’s part.

Cons.

It is loud in the worst sense of the word

It is not funny at all

It is incredibly poorly written

It is repetitive

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The Brothers Bloom: Just Like Wes Anderson Without Any Of The Charm.

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Rian Johnson is such a hit or miss filmmaker, for every Last Jedi you have a Looper, the quality of his films is unpredictable: sadly this was not one of his stronger efforts.

Firstly I did not like the humour of the film it seemed dumb and annoying to me, trying far too hard to be kitschy and oddball. The best way I can describe this is to take the stylings, writing and wit of Wes Anderson and gut the emotional heart of it, take out any real meaning and mash it back together again. This film felt like a poor rip off of both the previously mentioned Anderson as well as the Coen Brothers.

The one thing I did enjoy about the film, and that I saw as the saving grace was Adrien Brody. Brody brought his usual outsider charm to the role and managed to deliver and memorable performance, whilst also having great on-screen chemistry with Rachel Weisz; the two should definitely do more films together. Sadly, the other of the titular brothers played by Mark Ruffalo was far less likeable and was instead annoying for most of the film, this is most likely due to the fact he was often instigating the bad comedy.

Overall, I am glad that Johnson has moved away from this kind of film.

Pros.

Brody

Weisz

Cons

Ruffalo

The comedy

It feels like a rip off of better films

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Crowning: A Spoiled Sandwich

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film is quietly unnerving, there is something about it that lingers. The sheer randomness of the events, how nothing is quite like it seems and when you think you finally understand what is going on you are left with more questions- it is maddening.

I think part of the genius of this film is that it is able to communicate a lot, about its themes, ideas and sense of self without the need for large amounts of dialogue. The opening scene of the lead eating a prawn and crisp sandwich, minus the prawns, speaks volumes and does a lot organically for character development.

I enjoyed the ending twist, though I needed to watch it a few times and even pause it to make sense of it. I applaud the film for trying something different and for not being afraid to leave you with more questions than answers.

Overall, an interesting film that strives to do something new, but that can also be confusing at times.

Pros.

The minimal use of dialogue

The ending twist

The unnerving building sense of tension

The central performance

Cons.

Won’t be to everyone’s taste

It is confusing and requires multiple viewings

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Profile: Never Trust Someone Who Takes Selfies With Kittens

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

After watching the trailer for this film a while back I have been quietly excited for it, after now watching it I can say that was entirely founded- this film is superb.

The idea of a journalist pretending to be a radicalised teen online to try and secure and connection and series of interviews with an ISIS recruiter is a terrifying premise, made more so because this film is based on true events. However, the film builds on that premise perfectly and delivers one of the tensest thrillers of the year.

The performances are very well done, and you truly believe the fall from pretend radicalisation to real romantic involvement. You believe it so much it becomes a little frightening. It becomes clear why so many young women are brainwashed into leaving their country for a life that often turns out to be sexual slavery.

The ending is perhaps the best part as it magnificently raises the stakes and ramps everything up to max.

Overall, this film deserves all the attention it is getting as not only does it draw light to a frightening trend happening online which is largely going ignored by big social media companies, it also provides us with a thrilling viewing experience.

Pros.

The tension

The ending

The acting

The message

Cons.

Slightly bloated around the second act

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Wish Dragon: Subtle Propaganda Very Obviously Disguised

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film wants so badly to be a DreamWorks’ or a Pixar film, but it is nowhere even remotely close.

So firstly there is an odd amount of subtle pro-China stuff in here, not as bad as something like Abominable which though a good movie featured a map of the Chinese claim over the South China Sea on it, come on guys really, but there were a few lines that made me cringe with how blatant they were being. Please stop putting government propaganda into your films, we all know what you’re doing.

Moreover, the idea itself feels heavily inspired by Aladdin, yes I know the idea of wish granting deities also exists in other cultures as well, but the way the film handles itself and more importantly the relationship between the lead and the Wish Dragon feels clearly more than a little ripped off.

The voice cast didn’t do much for me either. The best of a bad bunch would be John Cho as the Dragon, who I thought did the best with what he had though that wasn’t very much. The worst was probably Constance Wu who is playing a very similar character to the one she did on Fresh Off The Boat, the show she hated, and lacks anything even remotely resembling range.

Overall, this film is blatantly clear in what it is and try as it might, it can’t disguise it.

Pros.

John Cho

A few feel good moments

Cons.

The propaganda

The lack of any kind of originality

The voice cast aren’t given much to work with

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In The Heights: A Rare World Where People Cannot Converse Unless In Song

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am not a fan of Hamilton……….. I’ll leave that to sink in.

When trailers for this film came out and a lot of people started to get very excited for it, I remained cool. After watching I am decidedly more so.

Firstly this is not a film that needs to be seen in cinemas; I am still waiting for a film that will make me say ‘wow this is better than watching it at home’ whilst in the cinema. The sound mixing much like Nolan’s Tenet serve to undermine the film some what and the loudness of the music itself makes the sung dialogue within it almost hard to hear.

Moreover, I don’t like that everything in this film is sung rather than said. Yes, I know it is a musical, but plenty of musicals have scenes of dialogue in between songs- it doesn’t all need to be sung. Almost every conversation in this film is done to music and in a song-like way, which honestly lessens any sort of dramatic impact.

Perhaps most damning of all the songs themselves are not even that good. The first song, the one that has been in all the trailers is passably okay, but after that they take a steep nosedive in quality to a point where it feels like they have given up trying.

Overall, maybe Hamilton fans or diehard musical lovers will be able to get something out of this, I for one just got my time wasted.

Pros.

It is a loud and colourful and easy to turn your mind off to

It doesn’t really require you to pay attention

Cons.

Too many songs

Most of these songs are of an average or poor quality

It is on for far, far too long

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