Eyes Of Wakanda: Ryan Coogler Seems To Hate Black People

We get to find out more about the wonderful citizenry of Wakanda.

I am starting to wonder if Ryan Coogler is secretly a white supremacist, both this and Iron Heart are so chocked-full of harmful Black stereotypes that it certainly points that way.

In this mini series we learnt that Wakanda interferes constantly in the outside world, despite hiding its existence from its African neighbours and allows them to starve. Moreover, despite Shuri’s line in Black Panther about the white man being a coloniser, here we see that exiles from Wakanda, then go on to do just that. So everyone is the coloniser?

Why do they do this? They do it to protect their artefacts which they hide away and lock in a vault as they are much too powerful for anyone to use, even though they were invented for a reason. This all ends when a girlboss YASS Quueen of future Wakanda shows up in the last episode to tell the silly men that the artifacts don’t matter and that they need to stop hording them and stop hiding from the outside world. Meaning all the murder, all the working with bad people so you can steal your artefacts back from them whilst ignoring what they are doing to those around them, was for nothing.

It also made Michael B Jordan’s line in the first film about the African artifacts in the British Museum sound hollow and be out of touch with the new Wakandan philosophy on artefact hording.

There is also a female Asian Iron Fist for some reason and she mops the floor with multiple highly trained Wakandan soldiers with ease.

Overall, I want Marvel to go away.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is unintentionally funny sometimes

Cons.

The stereotypes

The moral messaging behind it

It makes the films actively worse

It doesn’t need to exist

There are no memorable new characters

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Sauvages: Depressing And Icky

Summary

A tribe faces an existential threat and only a teen girl can save the day.

As far as kid’s films go this was incredibly depressing. There is unrelenting sadness to this film that never lets up, it’s hard to really encapsulate where this sadness originates from, but it’s unmistakably there.

I would say this film is more message focused than focused on being entertaining, but that is okay sometimes animated films are more about messaging that being entertaining see Inside Out. For me personally I thought this was a little heavy handed and needless at times but, I will give it props for clearly executing on its goal.

There is one thing that I thought was a uncomfortable about the film, and that is the nudity. Now this may be a cultural thing or me making something out of nothing, but during the let’s say last ten minutes of the film the lead character who as I said is a young teen is topless. Now you don’t see anything as she is not developed, but it has an icky and uncomfortable feel to it, I don’t understand why this was not thought about, in terms of international perception at the time, but I didn’t like it.

Overall, if you want a very hard environmental message and some uncomfortable scenes than this is the animated film for you.

1/5

Pros.

It is nice to see a stop motion animation film exist

Cons.

The message

The nudity

It is badly paced

That only part of it is translated

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The Bad Guys Two: Meet The Bad Girls

Summary

The Bad Guys are back.

I saw this is a double bill with Smurfs, see my review of that now, and suffice it to say I was feeling depressed. I was beginning to think that the days were studios put effort into family films was dead. Then I saw this film. Did it reverse that notion? The answer is mixed.

Whilst this film had far more style and personality that Smurfs which felt AI made, there was also a hollowness to this film as well. The Bad Guys themselves were more likable and had charm, and you cared about the characters, but in terms of the world and the story things just felt bog standard. It felt very much like a narrative you have seen before dressed in a new skin.

I would have liked more time with Wolf, Sam Rockwell, and Diane, Zazie Beetz, to explore their relationship, and the idea of how hard it is for bad guys to be good and readjust to a society that does not want them. This would have been far more interesting that simply having the bad guys be framed by a group of bad girls, yes you can hear my groan. Alas, the film does not even do much with these new bad girls beyond have them be a foil to the bad guys, and set up some future romances, as far as characters go they are quite one dimensional. Perhaps this is done on purpose to give them more ground to mine in a third film.

Overall, serviceable but nothing special.

2.5/5

Pros.

The characters have charm

The animation has passion

Wolf and Diane

Cons.

The world feels hollow

The story is deeply uninspired

It feels predictable.

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Smurfs: Smurfette Is Black Coded Now

Summary

James Corden takes a moment from not paying his writers a fair wage, and insulting waiters to star in the third remake of the Smurfs of the recent past.

Do the Smurfs have any continued relevancy? I would argue that is doubtful, is this better or worse than the previous remakes? I would say that it is of a similar quality. Is it a good film? No. All of the Smurf remakes and reimagining’s have been terrible this is just the latest.

The film is about magic books and has the smurfs go out into the real world, surprise, surprise, whilst I enjoyed the switch between live action and animation I thought the film did not do much with it or really play around. It was very lifeless at times, and felt almost mechanical.

A particularly egregious part of this film is Rihanna as Smurfette, this was done to provide some diversity to the voice cast possibly? They also now have a very clearly LGBTQ+ smurf in the gang. How the Rihanna thing is egregious is the fact that Rihanna has to do several musical numbers, no one else in the film does, and it just feels almost like an advert for an upcoming album rather than a nice accompaniment. Did the makers of the film not think of getting maybe someone younger than the kids might be into for their horrible effort in self-promotion.

Overall, this is why Paramount as a studio has fallen and is being bought out.

1/5

Pros.

Nick Offerman’s character

Cons.

Rihanna

It is boring

It is lifeless

James Corden

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Elio: The Death Of Pixar

Summary

Pixar’s latest is yet another effort in emotionally manipulative story telling.

Gone are the days wherein Pixar had charm and wit, in are the days of therapy speak and finding the idea of a mother-son bond ‘just a bit too much’. For reference the creatives behind this film found the idea of Elio, Yonas Kibreab, being the child of a single mother to be too much and instead needed to have it be an aunt-child dynamic. Why is that? Why is so much of modern Hollywood afraid to show good parent child dynamics, or even nuclear families, it is starting to reach a distractable peak now.

Great science fiction often plays on the cool ideas of meeting aliens, the new technology, the things we might learn about ourselves etc, but not this film instead we have an incredibly boring film about intergalactic politics told in a way so dumbed down that a paper bag could understand it.

Good family films can be made in such a way wherein every member of the family can find something to enjoy in it, but this film is just low effort garbage, that treats audiences young and old alike as fools.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

The aunt-son thing feels forced

None of the characters are likable

The therapy speak

It is not fun.

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Star Wars Tales Of The Underworld: Filler As We Wait For Maul

Summary

We get to see the early life of Cad Bane and the resurrection of Ventress.

So I have to say this series hit a sore spot for me, I have been eagerly awaiting a new animated Star Wars offering since Bad Batch went away and when I heard about this and the character focuses I was excited. However, upon watching, it feels like filler, nothing very epic or of consequence happens, and whilst yes it fills in some blanks it is pretty dull. They managed to have Ventress fighting an inquisitor be over in a few seconds, this should have been a big epic duel like when Maul and Ezra fight inquisitors in Rebels but no.

Moreover, in the Ventress centric episodes we see yet another jedi survivor and it is now getting to a point wherein it is taking away from Order 66, if everyone ended up actually surviving then it wasn’t this big event that it is portrayed as in the Star Wars lore. Seeing the kid talking about Quinlan Vos and the Path made me just want to get a Path show, which could give us either an animated or live action Cal Kestis and Merrin. There are projects that would be a slam dunk for Star Wars they just need to commit to them.

Overall, a sad missed opportunity.

2/5

Pros.

It has some interesting ideas and concepts

The inquisitor design is pretty cool

Cons.

It is dull

It feels like filler

It cheapens Order 66

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Dog Man: Ahead Of The Pack

Summary

Dog Man cleans up crime.

So I was not aware that this was based on a book going in, I was not aware it was related to Captain Underpants either. I just thought it was a kids animated film, and I would say you can watch it as that, there was not any references to anything else that you wouldn’t get.

I thought that the dynamic between Dogman, Petey, Pete Davidson, and Little Petey was sweet and had a nice wholesome message. I found myself getting a little emotional at the end I have to say, it definitely had the feelings in the bag.

I would say however, that stylistically the film dropped the ball, maybe this is part of it and I am not aware but the editing was really strange like a lot of things would just randomly happen without much rhyme or reason. It had a feeling of okay now the next thing to it that I found a little off putting. There was also a lot of meta jokes and comments on it being a film which became a little bit grating over time.

Overall, a slightly above average kids film brought up by its wholesomeness.

Pros.

The wholesomeness

Ricky Gervais

A few good jokes

Cons.

The editing

The pacing

The meta commentary

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Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man Season Season One Overview: Thank God For Sony

Summary

He has the super power kick, you want him as your neighbour.

The above is paraphrased lyrics from the trailer for this show. It doesn’t understand the character, he doesn’t have super powerful feet, and that it is generic and feels like it is doing stuff to kill time, you want him as your neighbour a superfluous lyric.

Honestly, I don’t know what is going on at Marvel animation first What If’s final season and now this. I think that there needs to be a culling at Marvel animation as something is clearly rotten. The same people who brought you duck sex have now race swapped most of the classic Spider-Man cast and for what reason? Because Coleman Dingo can’t possibly voice a white character.

Ignoring the race swap they also completely and I mean completely emasculate Harry Osbourn to a point, where you question if they aren’t setting him up to be the female love interest of season two. The character bastardisation feels like if I am being charitable people who have never read a Spider-Man comic before and don’t know these characters, but at worse this feels like a deliberate effort to lessen them.

Occasionally, here and there you get to see characters you actually want to see show up like Daredevil, voiced by Charlie Cox, these moments provide a nice if fleeting moment of respite before the mediocrity of the story and the objectionable nature of the race swaps comes back to drag you back into the gutter. There is a genuine question with this show as to why it is that a large percentage of the villains are white, and a large majority of the friendly characters/perceived as friendly aren’t.

Overall, thank God that Sony still has the rights to Spider-Man and long may that remain the case if this is what Disney would serve us.

1/5

Pros.

Some entertaining cameos

Cons.

It ruins various characters

It is poorly plotted

It tries too hard to be something it isn’t

The humour is grating

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Creature Commandos Season 1 Overview: James Gunn’s Fragile Ego

Summary

The DCU is born.

Right from the off something about this series struck a bad chord with me. It’s taken me a while to really think about what’s wrong with it and be able to articulate that, here is my best attempt.

Firstly, this feels like a spin off of the Harley Quinn animated show, and by that I mean the humour is exactly the same, however, where that show allows its characters to have serious moments this shows allergic to that. Whenever there will be a tragic or sad moment the writer will feel the need to undercut with a quippy joke or some sort of absurdist visuals.

Secondly, and relating to the first point, each of the Creature Commandos has tragic back stories, and this is bad for two key reasons. Chiefly, it shows a lack of any genuine villains in the show, which is supposed to be about a team of villains going on missions, as well as a fear of anti-heroes and not having everyone be sympathetic. Moreover, these back stories are often quite depressing, so the show feels the need to overcompensate by having it side by side with the present timeline in which something absurd or silly will be happening in order to get away from the sadness. This cheapens it.

Thirdly, the humour as I’ve mentioned in my previous two points is really what ruins this show and runs through all of the criticism, It is juvenile, gross out, and often edgy for shock value. I don’t think I laughed once during the entire run of the show.

Fourthly, and perhaps worst of all, is the fact that one of the sub antagonists of the show are the Sons of Themyscira, who are portrayed as incel online nerds. Not only does this feel like screw the audience, but also feels like Gunn personally taking shots at his critics. This is potentially catastrophically bad as it shows that Gunn is a reactionary and shows how even mild criticism of him can find its way into his projects and affect them in a major way, hence he’ll get more of it. It also destroys any kind of confidence one may have in his upcoming Superman film, and you have already seem him coming out to attack haters on that and to respond to criticism. The Sons are of course horribly cringe and die off in humiliating ways in order for Gunn to own his critics.

Overall, it is nice to see a more mature tone and some of the ideas were good, but the humour, the lack of meaningful emotion and Gunn’s fragile attempt to own the haters all result in this being a damaging start for the DCU, and a red flag for this summers Superman. :

2/5

Pros.

The mature tone

A few good ideas

Cons.

The humour

The backstories

Gunn’s fragile ego

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Sonic Three: The Quest For Meaningful Stakes

Summary

Sonic, voiced by Ben Schwartz, is back.

Going into the latter half of the year and looking at a pretty dire slate this was one of the few films that kept that small ember of optimism alive in me. However, after seeing it I have to say I was disappointed. I really don’t want to be writing that but it is the truth.

My issue with the film is pretty clear cut, whilst I liked Knuckles it did feel very much like a small story idea wrapped in goofiness and filler that was acceptable as it was a streaming show and not a mainline film. This film was far more Knuckles than the previous two films, rather than having some earnest heart, and having some epic moments or deeper worldbuilding, this film instead decided to have lots of goofy nonsense, such as a musical dance number, Eggman, Jim Carrey’s, obsession with telenovelas and a long drawn out race sequence in the films first act.

They have Krysten Ritter as the new director of GUN yet they give her one line and that is it, it is such a waste. I would have rather had more scenes that debated the ethical nature of GUN and made Sonic and co question whether they could trust them. As far as Shadow, voiced by Keanu Reeves, goes I was again disappointed. Shadow is my favourite character in Sonic lore yet they just give him a pretty bog standard revenge arc here before making him team up with Sonic at the end. I would have liked to see more of Shadow being an anti-hero, rather than him just getting the Knuckles in Sonic Two treatment where he is a villains henchman turned hero. It would have been better to have him and Sonic both trying to fix a problem say GUN did something bad in the past, but Shadow’s ways are too extreme and that puts him at odds with Sonic, rather than Sonic and Shadow both realise GUN did something bad so Shadow is going to destroy them for revenge, this seem over the top for Shadow who is an antihero, to kill lots of innocent people, and yes he isn’t fully aware of the weapons potential but still.

Overall, I would hope for the next film they could have less goofy silly stuff and a little more stakes and tension. It is never going to be super serious but some worldbuilding and some deeper character work would be nice. What I would like out of the next film is a for Amy-Rose to take team Sonic, including Shadow off world and for it to be a galaxy hopping adventure to stop a mass wave of Metal Sonics from destroying Earth to get to Sonic, this journey would explore Sonic’s origins and be large scale and epic. We wouldn’t have any goofy sing alongs dancing or anything else like that, we would have character growth and stakes.

Overall, good but a bit too silly and without the heart of the previous films.

3/5

Pros.

The end credits

It is cool to see Shadow even if they don’t do much with him

Jim Carrey is entertaining

Cons.

It is too goofy

It wastes new actors like Ritter

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