Star Wars Visions: The Ninth Jedi

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Jedi ruler summons a group of force wielders to his planet in hopes of rebuilding the Jedi Order.

I thought this episode had a lot of promise, it could explore the ideas around what it meant to be a Jedi, as well as the pros and the cons of the order itself. Moreover, when the twist of the episode happened and a lot of the force wielders turned out to be dark-side plants there was a lot that could have been done with it: who is this order hunting down Jedis? Are they working for the Empire and or The New Order? However, the episode chooses not to explore any of these themes or ideas and instead just leaves them as they appear at face value which is unsatisfying.

There are some strong moments of tension in the episode but even these are undercut by a sense of unbelievability. Lah Kara, voiced by Chinatsu Akasaki, is supposed to have never swung a lightsaber before yet during the final fight sequence she is easily holding her own against more skilled opponents, this is an issue as it takes away from the peril in these scenes as we know she will survive as she evidently has strong plot armour.

Overall, an episode with promise and good aspects primed for further exploration, but taken as a standalone episode one that is underserved.

Pros.

Interesting questions raised

Strong animation

A few strong action sequences

Cons.

A lack of tension

Underdeveloped ideas/characters

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Venom Let There Be Carnage: The Odd Couple Split Up

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Eddie Brock, played by Tom Hardy, and Venom, voiced by Tom Hardy, are back and this time they are fighting a new evil symbiote in the form of Woody Harrelson’s Carnage.

I was sorely underwhelmed by this film.

The first was by no means a masterpiece of the craft but it was better than this. The first really cared about its body horror elements and its mature themes and subject matter, this however feels like it is going out of its way to ditch them. The age rating card said there were scenes of horror in this film, and I ask you where were they? I didn’t see them, were they cut? This feels so safe that I don’t see why it didn’t get a lower certificate. Clearly this is being done so they can bring Venom into the MCU.

Continuing on in that form this film feels a lot sillier than the first film and I mean intentionally so, there is far more of the MCU style of humour here and much like with Star Wars it is all the worse for it.

Tom Hardy still feels like he is trying his best but everyone else around him is either underused or just terrible. The near always fantastic Stephen Graham is entirely underserved and is given such a weak part that anyone could have done it, the same can be said for Harrelson’s Carnage. Now I don’t know if Harrelson’s performance wasn’t good or the character was poorly written but there was just nothing to Carnage, the tragic serial killer angle has been done better before and the CGI monster fight at the end has been to. Any actor could easily have taken over the role and probably matched what Harrelson was giving off here.

Finally, the post credits scene is perhaps one of the weakest and most blatant I have ever seen. Going so far as to show us Tom Holland as Spider-Man, and force in a weird scene of Venom licking his face on the screen. In my mind entirely needless.

Overall, don’t waste your money seeing this in a cinema wait for it to come to a streaming platform.

Pros.

Hardy

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Carnage

Why bring back Michelle Williams and then give her nothing to do?

It feels toned down in the worst way

The humour mostly doesn’t work and feels too much like a copy of the MCU

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X-Men Apocalypse: Ripping Up And Ruining Comic Books Over The Space Of Two Hours

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Apocalypse, played by Oscar Issac, awakens in the mid Eighties and tries to take over the world.

This film takes a steaming dump all over the X-Men in many ways. Firstly it brings in fan favourite characters such as Psylocke, played by Olivia Munn, Angel, played by Ben Hardy, and Storm, played by Alexandra Shipp and then barely uses them. Worse still in the case of Angel the film just kills him off. This shows almost a contempt to the lore or the universe as Angel is a character that has had a long and storied comics history and has many places to go, not that this film cares.

Likewise, the film had the perfect inspiration in the Age of Apocalypse storyline from the Nineties yet it doesn’t even bother to draw an influence from that, and instead gives us a mess riddled with needless Eighties nostalgia and horribly used CGI. The final battle in this film is one of the worst realised of any superhero film in terms of its use of CGI, it looks visually repulsive.

The cast across the board isn’t very good with two key exceptions that I will get to, the young actors brought in to play the new version of the X-Men are all terrible with no exceptions, Tye Sheridan and Sophie Turner are particularly poor. Jennifer Lawrence clearly doesn’t want to be there and though normally he is terrific here James McAvoy is sorely underused and as such can’t deliver.

The two good performances and the reason this film doesn’t get lower are Michael Fassbender as Magneto and Evan Peters as Quicksilver. I thought the exploration of the father son dynamic between these two characters was interesting, I would have liked to see the film commit to it rather than just dance around the subject but it framed the film nicely. Of course the slow motion scene with Peters is cool to look at, but it is the emotional scenes where his character shines.

Moreover, the scenes with Magneto as a family man, who then loses his family and breaks bad again are very well done and easily become the highpoint of a deeply mediocre affair.

Overall, the clear start of the decline for the Fox X-Men films.

Pros.

The father son subplot

Fassbender

Cons.

Wasting Oscar Issac

The young cast

The CGI finale mess

A weak plot

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Beverly Hills Cop: In Need Of Sneaking In Somewhere? Bring A Floral Bouquet

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A maverick cop from Detroit, played by Eddie Murphy, heads to Beverly Hills to avenge his friend who was recently killed.

I can see how this was popular and how it inspired a larger franchise. Murphy is at his most charming and likeable here, with enough jokes and heart to keep you engaged throughout. Not all the jokes landed, though enough did that you stayed entertained. Moreover, as far as ‘cops who don’t play by the rules go’ Murphy’s Foley is one of the nicer ones, this makes rooting for him far easier especially now in the era of us questioning the power of the police.

My issues with this film come from the fact that it did nothing new. It felt like just another buddy cop film, if you take out Eddie Murphy the film becomes so generic that it would simply fade to the background of the genre. Throughout the film I was hoping for something to shock me but it didn’t, the film played out exactly as I thought it would.

Overall, it is a fun buddy cop film because of Murphy without him this film is incredibly generic.

Pros.

Murphy

The heart

A few good laughs

Cons.

The supporting cast is largely underused

The film is predictable

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Injustice: Superman, From Boy Scout To Fascist

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Adapting Year One of the Injustice comic run this film imagines a world where the Joker, voiced by Kevin Pollak, gets the last laugh on the heroes by killing Lois Lane, voiced by Laura Bailey, and turning Superman, voiced by Justin Hartley, into a murderous tyrant.

Having read most of the Injustice run I can say that this film gets a lot right. It keeps things simple for the most part, as the comic itself goes into all sorts of crazy directions, which I find works in the film’s favour as you get a neat narrative that is easy to follow whilst also keeping in most of the memorable moments from the comic run.

I enjoyed seeing the Injustice world realised on screen and seeing these groups of heroes facing off against each other, it is a fun game of cat and mouse that is constantly adapting and switching positions. My one complaint in this regard is that the ending of the film wraps things up neatly and doesn’t leave a whole lot open for a sequel, which is a shame as this film could be the start of a few films.

I am glad to see the brutality and gore from The Killing Joke has carried over into this, as the tale really can’t be done justice in a bloodless and child friendly way. This is a dark story for an older audience.

I have two issues with this film that have kept it from achieving full marks, firstly I don’t like the Green Arrow, voiced by Reid Scott, Harley Quinn, voiced by Gillian Jacobs, scenes and secondly it bugged me that this film left out Aquaman, voiced by Phil LaMarr. I understand why they kept in the Green Arrow Harley scenes as the two get a lot of time together in the early days of the comic run but their scenes together really add nothing to the narrative and only feel like they have been included to kill time. Moreover, missing out Aquaman seems like a huge oversight as he is important in the comic run and also leads a country so could have been a good ally to have on side.

Overall, another strong animation from DC.

Pros.

It simplifies the story

The ending

The thrill of heroes fighting

The big moments carry over

Cons.

Leaving out Aquaman

Green Arrow and Harley

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What If: The Watcher Broke His Oath?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Uatu, voice by Jeffery Wright, assembles the Guardians of the Multiverse to fight back against Ultron.

This was a good episode, but it wasn’t as good as the previous week’s episode and that is the crux of why I feel disappointed.

There was infinite possibilities for what they could have done here, but the no new characters rule again hamstrings the series. Instead of new characters and abilities we get the same old same old, Thor, voiced by Chris Hemsworth, using his hammer, Gamora, voiced by Cynthia McWilliams, using a sword, etc- we have seen that before. The only interesting part of the battle was seeing the various monstrosities that evil Dr Strange, voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, could summon out of him.

I thought the ending had promise, though was also a little bit sloppy. The ending sees the evil Dr Strange holding the warring factions in a pocket dimension never to be allowed out, they will obviously escape. I just think they could have done so much more with it, with Zola and Ultron and maybe a combination of the two, but no.

I liked that this episode brought back a lot of characters from most of the episodes of the show and helped it feel connected together, rather than just a series of one-offs.

Overall, a strong ending but not as good as the penultimate episode.

Pros.

Assembling a new team

The animation

The promise of what the ending brings

Cons.

The ending feels a bit too easy

It would have been nice to see some new characters feature

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Star Wars Visions: The Village Bride

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Shortly after the Great Purge a fallen jedi is called to a world threatened by bandits wherein she rediscovers her connection to the Force.

I found this episode to be mixed, whilst there were some interesting things set up and explored for the most part this episode feels incredibly slow and dull. Things start to heat up as the action goes down later in the episode but until that point it feels like a slow meditation over man’s relationship with the world around him which is not what I am watching for.

F, voiced by Asami Seto, is an intriguing hero. We are left to speculate how they survived the Purge and who trained them, I think by not giving us a definitive answer it really helps to boost the mystery of the character as it leaves a lot open to our interpretation and imagination. Sadly, the non-F characters don’t fare as well, with most of them being bland and devoid of anything barely resembling a personality.

The animation/art style here lends itself quite well to the Star Wars world, with it really shining during the later battle sequences, probably my second favourite of the series so far after that of the first episode.

Overall, a slow start weakens the episode but a good climax becomes a new hope for it.

Pros.

The final battle

Leaving things vague about F’s origins

The animation/art style

Cons.

A very slow start

Weak side characters

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Charlies Angels: Elizabeth Banks Is Not A Good Screen Writer

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A female empowerment reboot of a beloved property sees a new group of Angels act in order to save the world.

This is why you should keep identity politics out of films, or if you are going to force it in at least do it well. A lot of films are strongly political and have a message to them, but for the most part they do it well and make it feel organic to the narrative, they don’t force it down your throat and then call you names for not enjoying it. This film does just that.

Nearly every line in this film has some jab about current politics, or should I say the politics of the year this came out, which now feels incredibly dated and old. What makes this worse is that it comes off as preachy in the worst way, as the out of touch Hollywood millionaires telling you what to think, do and say.

The only reason this film gets a one from me is because Kristen Stewart is having so much fun it is infectious. Stewart really is the shining light and saving grace of this film, if it were not for her this film would be unbearable to stomach for more than a few minutes at a time.

Overall, maybe for her next film Elizabeth Banks should let someone else do the writing.

Pros.

Stewart is having fun

Cons.

It is preachy

It forces its message and its politics down your throat

It is dumb

It is cringe

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No Time To Die: The Ending Bond Deserves

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

-There are spoilers within so don’t read this until after the film.

Summary

James Bond has to come out of retirement to fight a new threat that is far closer to those he loves than he realises.

-HUGE SPOILERS

I can’t believe they did it. They actually did it. For months I have been reporting that this film would kill off Bond and for months people said I didn’t know what I was talking about. Looks like I was right. Yes, Bond is blown up whilst poisoned and severely wounded, there is no way he is shaking that off. I am impressed by the creatives for doing this, as it does bring the Bond franchise to a close but in a very meaningful and poignant way. I really do hope going forward the universe focuses on the other OOs rather than bringing back Bond from the dead; if they do that this becomes a much worse film.

I have never been a huge Bond fan, this and Skyfall were the only two of Craig’s tenure that I thought were good. I thought the emotional maturity of this film was a refreshing touch, Bond is flawed, he makes mistakes, he looks to others for approval, rather than just walking into the room and having everyone thinking he is great and then throwing themselves at him. In that regard I thought the humour in this film really landed for me, there were a number of good jokes that made me chuckle over the course of the film’s runtime and I appreciated that.

My criticism of the film would be that it is very long, and as a result has pacing issues. There is a lot to get through with this film and a lot of it is very dark and that creates a heaviness which makes the film hard to get through. I would say more comedy might have helped in this regard, or obviously shortening the length.

Overall, a good swan song for an aging franchise, please don’t bring Bond back.

Pros.

The humour

The ending

The emotional maturity

Craig

Cons.

Pacing issues galore

Rami Malek’s villain needed more development

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What If: Ultron Won?

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ultron, voiced by Ross Marquand, is not defeated and has achieved his aim in removing life from the universe, now he has his sights set on the multiverse.

This was what I wanted from What If right from the beginning. Finally, after almost the entire season the show gets me to stand up and take notice. Why? Well for two important reasons. Firstly, this episode fixed one of my biggest issues with the show as a whole namely that Uatu, voiced by Jeffery Wright, is barely a character and has no purpose beyond reading out exposition. Here he had a central role, and we explored his character further. Secondly, this episode also bucks the trend of keeping things self-contained and brings in characters from other episodes.

I am very excited to see where the show can go from here because with it now becoming a whole narrative rather than separate individual tales it means we could see a new team arise in the final episode, a defenders of the multiverse perhaps; that will of course carry over to live action.

Furthermore, I think this episode does justice to Ultron. The threat is very present here and Ultron becomes a rival to Uatu himself which highlights just how powerful and intriguing the character can be when Joss Whedon is not writing him.

Overall, a stellar episode and one which has me excited for what is to come next week.

Pros.

Getting Ultron right

Having characters crossover

The ending

Giving Uatu focus and exploration

A strong sense of threat

Cons.

The human story was less interesting and felt like a distraction

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