Shotgun Wedding: Get Those Divorce Papers Ready

Summary

Tom, played by Josh Duhamel, and Darcy, played by Jenifer Lopez, have their wedding taken over by terrorists and must work together to try and overcome them.

This is watchable yet entirely forgettable. Honestly, this kind of action comedy is nothing new and has been done many times before. Sadly, in the long history of newly weds teaming up to take down armed bad guys this film isn’t high up on the list.

The main reason for this is because of how tame it is. In almost every regard this film feels like it is holding back, be it in the gore and the violence, the swearing or even in the relationship drama. No couple I have ever met interacts like these two, the way they talk and generally just are around each other feels off and oddly formal at times. It would be an understatement to say that Lopez and Duhamel have no chemistry if anything I wouldn’t be surprised if it comes out over the next few years that the two of them hated each other whilst making this.

Overall, this is the sort of lazy film that reminds you that Hollywood, in this case Amazon, think they can just serve audiences with any old trash and that we will just happily consume it. Well I for one will spit out this rancid meal and will call out Amazon for this, consumers deserve better.

1/5

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

Cons.

It is tedious

It didn’t need to be made

It has no charm

It is horribly paced

The leads are both awful

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Sweet Home Alabama: Evangelist Propaganda

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A New York based fashion designer, played by Reece Witherspoon, travels back home to yes you guessed it Alabama to try and get divorced from her husband, played by Josh Lucas, so she can marry her new beau, played by Patrick Dempsey.

I put this on as it is February, the month of rom-coms, and after looking up non-toxic rom-coms I was fairly sure this was going to be a wholesome classic. Deary me how wrong I was, this film like many others in the genre is quite hard to watch and teaches some pretty bad lessons. These include but are not limited to, hey kids you should leave your life and dream job so you can move back to your home town and get with your ex, if you have a romantic moment as a child with one of your friends that means they are your soulmate forever, and finally when acting out it is perfectly okay to out your LGBTQ+ friend to everyone in town. That’s a big yikes.

Moreover, as the film progresses not only does Witherspoon’s character become more and more unlikeable, but also you begin to question why she is doing what she is doing. Clearly her and her ex have problems, clearly they are badly suited to each other yet they end up together because the film wants them to as it perpetuates myths. In many senses it is plain to see that Witherspoon’s character would have been better off with Dempsey’s character yet the film doesn’t allow that to happen as it would rather push the cliched destiny angle and suggest that women should stay with their exs because you never know they might change.

Overall, watchable yet fairly troubling.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a few funny moments

Cons.

It has some really poor messages

Witherspoon’s character is fairly unlikable

The central romance of the film doesn’t work on a number of levels

It has pacing issues

Plane: Plummeting To The Ground In More Than One Sense

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Gerard Butler is a pilot who must face off against violent insurgents after his plane goes down.

Meh.

I could really leave the review there as there isn’t much more to say. It is a perfectly serviceable action film but nothing more. For anyone hoping for a do-over of Olympus Has Fallen this is nowhere near that level, nor is it near the levels of awfulness that make something like God’s Of Egypt fun. It is exactly what you would expect it to be and that is why it is so disappointing.

Perhaps the only thing of note that is positive about this film is the fact that Butler gets to go fully Scottish and let his accent come out which is nice as his barely faux American accents were starting to get grating. In terms of his performance Butler is as he ever is here, if you have ever seen one of his films then you know what that entails. There is a scene in which one of Butlers character’s passengers gets killed and he throws himself around and looks emotional whilst in the arms of Mike Coulter’s character, that I suppose could count as Butler trying to do some acting here but even then it is still fairly thin.

In terms of Mike Coulter if he thought this was going to be his breakout action role, in a post Luke Cage sphere, then he was sorely mistaken. His character is really more of a prop, being there to service Butler’s character and the plot, being whatever it needs him to be. It is strange that the script never really addresses the crime his character was accused of doing beyond stating it once, they set up a whole narrative that never comes to anything at all. To his credit Coulter’s incredibly limited performance makes Butler look like he deserves an Oscar so if nothing else I am sure Butler is thanking him.

Overall, not campy enough to be fun and too formulaic and familiar to be interesting.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

Some of the CGI is hilariously bad

It is short

Cons.

The performances are awful

The script feels like it is copied and pasted from many other action films with barely anything unique to it

It never addresses Coulters character’s backstory

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Star Wars The Bad Batch: Tribe

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Bad Batch help the Wookie Jedi Gungi escape capture and return him to his home world.

I enjoyed this episode, and thought that it made a nice change to the filler of the past two weeks as it actually had the Bad Batch play a role in the wider fight back against the Empire and for once they turned off the stun setting on their blasters. Now, whilst I don’t think this episode was as good as the Commander Cody/Crosshair one I certainly think that there was a lot of promise here.

I was also interested to note how the Bad Batch are around Jedi’s after everything that has happened, and for the most part it was a similar fatherly relationship to how they treat Omega. However, this got me thinking about other possible Jedi’s that could appear on the show and also thinking again about how the show needs to get the Bad Batch way more involved with the early war against the Empire rather than just have them do mission of the week episodes with Omega. This episode had a weighty tone which worked for it a lot more than last week’s National Treasure spin off.

Overall, this is the sort of episode that this show should be putting out every week.

4/5

The darker tone

Seeing the Jedi interacting with the Bad Batch

The Bad Batch finally getting more involved in the war

Well-paced, with no lulls

Cons.

I could have done with being longer

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Wolf Pack: From A Spark To A Flame

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new YA TV series is born, with some supernatural hijinks and Buffy’s small screen comeback.

I barely made it through this first episode, I did in the end over the course of about 6 tries stopping and starting and having to take breaks from it as its awfulness was truly overwhelming.

The only reason I gave this show a try was because it was from Jeff Davis, the guy who brought you Teen Wolf and as some of you know I was a massive fan of that show, but in many respects this show is a large step back from the goofy charm of Teen Wolf and tries to take itself far too seriously.

I think the crux of the issue with this show is that it is a YA program long after they have stopped being popular. As this is a review of the first episode I can’t say how the rest of the show will pan out as I won’t be watching it and can’t see into the future but one thing I can say is that in this first episode all of the well known hallmarks of YA fiction were there and they haven’t got any less cringe.

Overall, this show will likely get cancelled after one season.

1/5

Pros.

It reminds you how much of a better show Teen Wolf is

Cons.

YA is long past its best as a genre

It feels trope heavy and poorly written

The performances are awful

It is incredibly forgettable

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The Last Of Us: Long, Long Time

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Joel, played by Pedro Pascal, brings Ellie, played by Bella Ramsey, to the home of his friend Bill, played by Nick Offerman, only to discover a horrifying truth.

I thought this episode was easily the best yet. Though it deviated from the game in several major ways, I thought the beautiful yet tragic love story of Bill and Frank, played by Murray Bartlett, easily deserved to be told and I personally dare you to watch it and not feel anything. As it came time for the two loves to say goodbye to one another I was wiping away tears, the performances from both Offerman and Bartlett are both so open and raw and truly there are a lot of layers there. I think this will probably be remembered when the season ends as its best episode, I think this will be the episode to win awards and I think that is rightly so.

Furthermore, I also really liked how this episode showed Joel morn for his friends and for Tess and really have a moment to breakdown. I think the whole scene with the letter really shows how much of a pro Pascal is and his real power as a dramatic actor. In addition, much like with last week’s episode this one had me again warming a lot to Ramsey’s Ellie to the point wherein now I do believe she was well cast in the role. I thought the final scene of them in the car together really felt like the game and reminded me why there dynamic worked so well in it. Although I would be remiss if I didn’t point out how the final scene in the car did feel an awful lot like Din and Baby Yoda, but hey I didn’t mind that.

Overall, one of the best episodes of TV I have seen in a long, long time.

4.5/5

Pros.

Bill and Frank’s love story

Joel’s breakdown

The final car scene between Joel and Ellie

Terrific performances all round

An emotional roller-coaster

Cons.

You will need to prepare yourself for just how sad this episode is

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The Last Of Us: Infected

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The journey to get Ellie, played by Bella Ramsey, to the Fireflies goes horribly awry.

I thought this second episode was better than the first for several key reasons. Firstly, we got to see the infected up close and personal which was good, the show has really put a lot of money into making them looking both terrifying and also very true to the game. The make-up work on the clickers and other infected really does deserve your praise. Secondly, we get further insight into Joel, played by Pedro Pascal, and Tess, played by Anna Torv, and see more indicators of their relationship, which was eluded to but never fully confirmed in the game. I think Torv’s performance in the horde scene is incredibly striking, and the emotional impact of her death and the effect it has on Joel is incredibly powerful and effecting viewing. Thirdly and finally, I really enjoyed the prologue of the episode wherein it showed the early days of the outbreak in Indonesia, I think it added a lot to the world and the wider lore of the series.

It has to be noted that in many last review I was not keen on Ramsey’s performance as Ellie, I thought she was badly miscast, but I have to say here she is a lot better and her take on the character is starting to grow on me quite a bit.

Overall, a strong episode that is held up by well-acted performances and well-constructed emotional manipulation.

4/5

Pros.

Joel and Tess’ relationship

The Indonesian outbreak

Ramsey

Tess’s death and sacrifice

Cons.

Slightly too short, and as a result the pacing doesn’t leave enough time for processing

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You People: Offensive To Almost Everyone Involved, And Those Of Us Who Sit Through It

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Jewish man, played by Jonah Hill, and an African-American woman, played by Lauren London, begin dating, yet because it is a tiresome rom-com their families have to get in the way.

This film feels so outdated and out of touch, honestly this whole shtick might have worked when it was done in Meet The Parents all those years ago, but nowadays I don’t know anyone who needs to get their significant others parent’s permission to marry, it seems like something that belongs in another century.

Moreover, the heavy handed social commentary which seems to infest almost every line of this film is again outdated, it has nothing new to say and worse yet in some of its points on race the film comes dangerously close to overly simplifying and using generalisations, truly within this film nuance is dead.

The comedy is mostly misses, a lot of the social commentary based jokes don’t land and are so unbearably cringe that they make you want to turn the film off and put anything else on. To further that point, Julia Louise-Dryfus’ whole character is so one note that it makes you want to skip every scene she is in.

The only reason I haven’t given this film 0 is because Eddie Murphy does bring the laughs and does to a limited degree manage to prop this film up. Also Kenya Barris has a great cameo that really made me laugh.

Overall, this film is cringey and out of touch, but that is what happens when privileged Hollywood starts talking about race.

1.5/5

Pros.

Murphy

Barris

Cons.

The social commentary isn’t good and borders on generalisations at times

The comedy is the wrong kind of cringe

It is outdated and has nothing fresh to say

It has major pacing issues

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Teen Wolf The Movie: TV Magic Cannot Hold Up When Compared To The Cinematic

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Teen Wolf is resurrected.

I will preface this review by saying when it was airing I was a massive Teen Wolf fan, the first few series were terrific and yes it did fall off quite a bit by the end but it still had its moments and I thought that the ending it had was fitting and meaningful. When I saw this film announced I was trepidatious, I didn’t think it needed to exist but then they said they were bringing back Alison, played by Crystal Reed, and my romantic heart was excited that her and Scott, played by Tyler Posey, could finally get their happy ending. Little did I know I was right on both accounts.

Fundamentally, the issue with this film is that it doesn’t need to and probably shouldn’t exist. It adds very little to the ending of the series, bar a tease at the end for a new series with younger characters. In many ways the film feels like it is bringing back everyone it can from the series and just throwing them at you to be like, remember this character how about this character, they even do this with the villain. It is a boon for the film that it brings back the best villain the show ever had and that does score it some points in my opinion, but again it doesn’t really do anything with them it just does it for the nostalgia.

It is good to have Reed back as Alison, but the issue here is that she doesn’t come back until a good ways into the film, and when she does she doesn’t do much at all. Again I question whether her return was more nostalgia baiting to try and lure fans back.

I do think the film is a lot worse off for not having Dylan O’Brien and Arden Cho return there absence is felt and in a sense the script for the film seems to be constantly bringing it up and being almost remorseful for their absence, it too wishing they were here.

Overall, in the end Scott and Alison did get their happy ending, but did we really need it? This film does nothing to move the franchise forward from where the series ended and instead feels like a highlights reel of all your favourite characters and monsters with some glaring omissions.

2.5/5

Pros.

I am torn on how they ended things with Derek, I both like it but also don’t

It is nice to see almost everyone again

It has some good moments

Cons.

The pace is awful

It doesn’t justify its existence

The TV esque effects really don’t work when things are supposed to be cinematic

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Unwelcome: Outdoor Liver At Sundown

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young couple move to Ireland and run into the strange local legend of the Redcaps.

This film was depressing, clearly it was designed to be a comedy horror but like many that have come before it and many that will come after the film cannot marry its two tones well. For the most part I found this film to be incredibly grim and depressing, it made both London and Ireland look like absolute hellholes populated by thugs and pervs, this was then off set by the comical Redcaps which feel like the evil gremlins, from the film of the same name, turned up to just slightly more sinister.

The Redcaps themselves are what saved this film for me, as otherwise I would have given it even lower. I liked that they seemed to be puppets and were not CGI monstrosities, moreover I enjoyed how they interacted with the characters and the battle scene featuring them had some great moments.

In terms of the human characters other than Hannah John-Kamen’s lead everyone else was unlikeable in the max. Douglas Booth, who played John-Kamen’s boyfriend, is toxic in the extreme and is also pretty pathetic, he flies off the handle into a rage constantly and when he is actually faced with a dangerous situation he abandons his wife and starts to cry rather than defend her. Honestly Booth’s character was incredibly off putting.

Overall, fun little creatures and I am glad they weren’t CGI, but the film as a whole doesn’t get its tone right and is manically depressing and the lead male character is repulsive in many ways so much so that his scenes are hard to watch.

2/5

Pros.

The Redcaps

It is watchable

Cons.

It is manically depressing

Booth’s character is awful

The tone is all over the place

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