Star Wars Is Dead

This piece will talk about Star Wars and the recent controversy around the comments made by the director of the next cinematic release.

Now for those of you who have followed me for a while you will know where I am going with this, why alienate your audience. Kathleen Kennedy seems to think that the force is female but if you actually want to be profitable, and be able to make streaming services that aren’t haemorrhaging viewers season by season it might be time to admit that the force is genderless and stop telling the male audience to take a long walk off a short pier.

Again Kennedy in her wisdom, and likely some kind of voodoo hold over Bob Iger, has hired a documentary filmmaker for the director of the next film. Now I have no issue with the director’s work on Ms Marvel she did make the best episodes, however, I think that you need professionals not activists. I have often said studios should have it in their contracts that anyone working on any of their projects cannot make divisive political statements whilst they are under contract it just makes sense. Anyway, the new director in an interview said that she likes her film’s to make men uncomfortable, again this is not the kind of attitude you want from a director of a blockbuster.

I won’t even engage with this from a culture war outlook, but rather from a business one the Star Wars brand is on life support and the last thing you want to be doing is saying something like this that will fracture and divide your fanbase even further and create bad PR for the film before it has even come out. Yes, there are people who would hate this anyway as it carries on the sequel trilogy, but why go out of your way to make it worse.

Again Kathleen Kennedy needs to realise that her rather glaring political positions are getting in the way of her making a good film, if you say the force is female and tell the male audience to take a hike, and take it further by making a film that is seemingly now designed to make them uncomfortable then it won’t do well at the box office and will bomb because lets face facts women aren’t turning out for Star Wars, any analytics you want to look at will still tell you men are the main audience.

If I was Bob Iger right now I would be livid, I would remove Kennedy as she cannot be trusted anymore, I don’t know how after the last Indiana Jones film that killed that franchise and the Sequel trilogy she is still in a job but hey. If nothing else if for some reason they can’t get rid of her I would veto her directing choice take the bad PR and then bring in a Brice Dallas Howard someone who knows the brand well the fans like and is still female so they can still tick that progressive box.

Lets face it folks Rey, a hated character, led Star Wars film that carries on the bad blood of the sequels and is directed by someone who wants to make the majority of the audience uncomfortable is destined to bomb as it has no fan excitement, it has no hype and it will go the way of Aquaman II after the whole Amber Heard thing.

Widely this is a step to kill Star Wars as Kennedy knows her days are numbered in the top job.

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The Nun II: A Superhero Showdown

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Sister Irene, played by Taissa Farmiga, is back and now has super powers.

I enjoyed this a lot, but I have to say if you don’t like the Conjuring films and aren’t up to date on the shared universe then you won’t like this as much as I did. Again I have no idea what the other reviews for this film are like, but I think that this may be one of the cases wherein my own review is a little higher than others because I am so into horror and more ready to give stuff a pass.

I think the horror is good hear, I really liked the goat and thought that the scene early on with the little girls and the devil’s eye, or whatever they called it, was a lot of fun. I would say that some of the jump scares with the Nun were a little obvious, especially if you have seen some of these films before. Again the possession angle was a great way to reunite some of the cast from the first film though I think the film spends way too much time on it we need more Valek.

The third act showdown is a funny state of affairs, where rather than it being more horror focused it almost becomes like the end of a superhero film, with Sister Irene getting special powers from a saint and then going toe to toe with Valek for a bit. It feels very odd in terms of this being a horror film but at the same time it is nice to see a more even fight in one of these demonic possession films usually it is the demon has all the power and then the demonologists or priests manage to somehow best it when all seems lost but it is much more even here.

I think that Taissa is just as capable as her sister in the leading lady department and really carries this film on her shoulders, I think if there are any more Nun films which lets face it there will be Farmiga has to come back. I would like to see her interact with Loraine, played by Vera Farmiga, but I don’t think they could swing that as they like to say that the Conjuring proper films are based on real events whereas the Nun ditches all that. I will say that there is no reason on God’s green earth that Storm Reid needs to be in this film, she adds nothing, and her bad acting is distracting, was she put in for the kids?

Overall, another fun day out in the Conjuring Universe, but not quite as good as the first film.

3.5/5

Pros.

The superhero smackdown at the end

A few good scares

It is nice to see them tie it so well into the first film

Farmiga does a good job

Cons.

Some of the scares are predictable

Reid adds nothing

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My Big Fat Greek Wedding Three: Once More Into Greece

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

For a series of contrived reasons we need another trip to Greece.

Again this is one of the most unnecessary sequels I have seen in a long time, who thought this was needed and so long after the fact as well. There is a part of me that believes this film was only made as a way to justify a holiday to Greece by one of the studio executives.

Again a lot of the charm from the first film and partially the second was lost here, yes there were still moments of what made the first one so easy to warm to but by and large it was just gone, hollow and empty.

Also whoever thought that the way to sell this third film no one wanted was by making it super topical and timely was again way off the mark. Whilst I agree with a lot of the things the film is saying about society and the European migrant crisis, I think that it is tonally inconsistent with the rest of the relatively lighter fare and isn’t mixed in in a way to makes it feel anything other than forced. Also I get that films are filmed usually a year or two before release but because of this some of the points they were trying to make about the migrant crisis feel a little outdated, again good sentiment but terrible implementation.

Overall, an incredibly unnecessary sequel.

2/5

Pros.

There is some fun

The vistas look nice

Cons.

There is no need for this film

The timely messages are several years out of date

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Past Lives: Lost Across Seas

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Greta Lee, loses touch with her childhood friend, played by Teo Yoo, after her family immigrate to America but then catches up with him again years later.

I think this film is very much an acquired taste, one for which I never adapted. I went into this film with high expectations after hearing a lot of good festival and early screenings buzz, but I just found myself lost with the film. It never seems to catch its tone between a dark comedy, a tragedy and a sort of reverse rom-com and as such you aren’t quite sure how to respond to things as they happen. In the final section of the film the audience wants Lee to cheat and to start up a relationship with Yoo but she doesn’t and instead stays with her husband in tears, is that supposed to be a happy ending as she didn’t break her relationship or is it supposed to be a personal tragedy for her as the happiness in her life fades away and she is left with mediocrity.

As you can probably tell the film itself is very cerebral, it aims to be a meditation on life, love and what it means to outgrow people, but more often than not it comes off as pretentious and thinking it is much deeper than it actually is. Also, and this may be a me thing, but it is also incredibly cringe at times, once you see it you’ll know what I mean.

Overall, depressing and pretentious.

2/5

Pros.

The emotion mostly lands

It has its moments

Cons.

It is depressing

It is pretentious

It has deep and systematic pacing issues

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Haunted Mansion: Danny Devito Goes Full Conspiracy Theorist

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Another film about a Disney park attraction this time sans Eddie Murphy.

This film got slaughtered in a competitive summer season and would have been much better if Disney had waited and released it on Disney + for Halloween, but hey I’m not Bob Iger.

I thought that this film was better than some have said it is, I think the main cast have great chemistry, even if you have some problematic actors in Haddish and the leading man, and mostly play off each other well. I would say that once again Owen Wilson is used perfectly in a small supporting role, I think he is really finding a new niche for himself in these more considered roles like Mobius in Loki.

Again the horror of the film was fair good for a family setting, it had its moments and wasn’t as comedic as they could have made it. Going In I was worried they would have the ghosts be a threat but also be cracking jokes every few minutes to reduce it but no the film did manage to sustain a level of spooky atmosphere throughout.

I would say that the villain was quite weak and the CGI used for him even more so, as I have said in other reviews and articles I am starting to get sick of third acts that boil down to one big CGI battle again I think it just reflects poor writing and how these writers don’t know how to wrap things up in a satisfying way and so the creatives regurgitate CGI colours all over you to try and make you forget.

Overall, an entertaining film that won’t be winning any awards

3/5

Good atmosphere

The cast work well together

I thought the emotional beats hit where they should

Cons.

The CGI

It has pacing issues

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The Current State Of Cinema 2023

Written by Luke Barnes

This piece will be my first annual state of cinema address, a feature that if popular and I remember I will try and do every year going forward. In it I’ll be talking about the festering state of franchise films, the struggles of the global box office to recover in a post pandemic sense, the possible hopeful return of the mid budget film and of course the idea of the message and how film studios are finally starting to realise that not everyone is an activist. Buckle up as cinema is in a turbulent time.

With The Marvels, Antman, Mission Impossible, Indiana Jones and the slate of DCEU films all performing badly and being poorly received one has to ask is superhero fatigue real? Is franchise fatigue real? Though these are questions that have been asked to death I think we need to cover it here, yes is the answer by the by. I think that audiences are wising up and being more choosey, for the reason we will get into later, and as such are only turning out for films they think look good whereas in times gone by they may be more likely to take a risk on something. This is partially because of streaming culture though I think far more likely it is because audiences are finally starting to reject the slop that studios serve up time after time. I think that the day of the CGI fest blockbuster with no soul is coming to an end and that the reason a film like Guardians three did well whereas the other two Marvel films didn’t is because it had a heart and a care that audiences connected with, it is not a hollow CGI fest. Studio’s need to put more time into crafting stories and worlds and not just taking audience for granted because I think if this year in cinema has shown anything it is that the audiences aren’t coming anymore.

Now why is that? Where did the audience go? I believe as I have said before in other pieces that the reason why the box office can’t recover in the post covid sphere in the way some expected it would is because of a trio of factors: streaming, a lack of interest, and also money and I think it is the final factor that is key. Whilst there have been a few run away successes this year it is nothing compared to the number of success stories pre pandemic and yes you can point to how audiences are no more willing to wait until a film hits streaming but in my mind the real reason why it hasn’t recovered is because cinema’s have put up prices to try and make more money post covid and that move is mortal self-harm for them. Why has a film like Wish flopped, besides being trash, well that is because if you and your partner had two kids and the four of you wanted to go and watch the film as a family it would cost you with food well over fifty pounds, I don’t know the dollars translation, and for many these days that is just too much. Add on top of that that a family can instead just buy Disney plus for a fraction of that and wait for the film to come out in about 5 months, if not less, and bang it simply isn’t worth it any more.

One thing that is good that has come out of all this is that I think that the way studios will respond to this year will be to scale back budgets on both their franchise and non-franchise films. This is a good thing for two reasons, firstly it will bring back the mid budget movie to a degree for far too long it has either been these massive multi million dollar franchises or indie fare, the mid budget movie is in need of a comeback, also with smaller budgets studios will be more willing to take risks which again is always a good thing.

However, I think the most important issue facing contemporary cinema and something that will and is bringing a reckoning all its own is this idea of preaching. Hollywood for the most part is a very liberal and left wing place, and that has always been the case, however, at some point within the last decade celebrities and creatives started getting far more preachy and putting it into their films, again maybe it’s because of generation activist, but increasingly going to the cinema now is just being preached to by millionaires on how the world should be. What makes this worse is that these same creatives have taken to creating divides in their own franchises and fan bases telling fans that these films or this series isn’t for them anymore. Look at what happened with The Rings Of Power and how badly Amazon abused the Lotr community, and who showed up for that show? By Amazon’s own metrics not many people at all. Again studios are starting to get the message now saying they will put telling good stories ahead of the message again, which is how it should have always been and are seeing that audiences are voting against being preached to with their wallets. Look at Wish a film that might as well have been a PSA on social justice talking points who came out for it?……. No one. Audiences won’t be told how to live by millionaire liberals who are so out of touch with average moviegoers they might as well be living on another planet.

The Last Voyage Of The Demeter: Dracula’s Untold Journey

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The untold story of Dracula’s voyage to the UK.

I was looking forward to this film for a while, and in my opinion this film got a really unfair roll of the dice. Again it was a shame what happened to the production company but it really undercut this film’s ability to really find an audience. However, it did reach me, and I will be its cheerleader.

Yes in a sense this is a creature feature in the way you would expect, that is not a compliment, in that it is a group of people getting picked off by a monster one by one, but I found that outside of this the film did enough to lift up its fairly generic premise. Chiefly, this film does a good job at establishing atmosphere and making the confines of the ship feel even more claustrophobic then they otherwise would. On top of this when you do see Dracula, particularly at the end, the creature effects look well done and distinctive.

Overall, the best Dracula film in a while

4/5

Pros.

The atmosphere

The creature design

The scares

The pacing

Cons.

The acting is a little patchy at times

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Blue Beetle: Another Flop For The DCEU

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jamie Reyes, played by Xolo Maridueňa, gets the power of the scarab in the latest troubled chapter in the DCEU.

So I will give this film props Maridueňa makes for a likeable lead and his goofy sort of nerdy energy does help this film to avoid a lot of the issues that some of the other DCEU films have with being overly serious. Again I found Jamie as a character to be very relatable, his journey was one I feel a lot of the audience could be on board with: trying to find your place in the world, get your crush to like you, be seen well in the eyes of your family etc, all of these things made the character work.

The wider focus on family as a theme also added a lot to the film, and it is humorous that in the same year we had Shazam Fury Of The Gods a film that wants to be all about family but that forgets what it means pretty early on and instead takes things in a much more obnoxious direction. Here I felt like the family Reyes felt real they felt like a normal family and I bought there interactions a lot more than in the Shazam sequel.

The superhero stuff was where this film fell down for me, this is an origin story you have all seen before sure not in the context of Blue Beetle but with other superheroes and it just came off to me at least like a knock off Spider-Man. Regular guy gets powers and then finds himself in over his head and having to protect his loved ones, the only difference is a spider bite to a sort of technological symbiote.

The evil villain being some blood thirsty corporate shark/arms dealer was again incredibly cliché, there might have been some supposed commentary in this decision but honestly I just didn’t care about this section of the film at all, and it was pretty clear Susan Sarandon was only there for the money.

Overall, it was okay Jamie and his family worked well and I would like to see more of their world but none of it matters as it will all be cleaned away by the reboot, and yes they said oh Blue Beetle is a part of the new DCU, but after the box office it pulled it is as dead as the dodos.

3.5/5

Pros.

Jamie

His family

The relatability

The humour

Cons.

The superhero stuff is boring

The villain is super weak

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The Dive: The Depths Of The Abyss

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two sisters, played by Sophie Lowe and Louisa Krause, go on a diving trip and then get stuck deep underwater.

This film did not go where I thought it was going to go, I thought it would follow in the footsteps of other recent survival films and be more action thriller in terms of tone but no, this film really is a drama. Yes there is some thriller aspects with the sisters battling for survival but for the most part it is a deep and quite depressing reflection over the sister’s lives, childhood and bond. It is important to bare this in mind before you go into it as it certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

Personally, I thought the film worked quite well as an atmospheric drama with the vast emptiness of the sea an apt setting for these weighty themes and ideas. Certainly by setting so much of the film in this incredibly isolating space it really helps to hit home these ideas of loneliness and how the sisters have drifted apart. My point is that the central metaphor of the film works very well.

I thought both Lowe and Krause gave good performances, I would edge it to Lowe as I think she shows the greater range of emotions over the course of the film, but Krause can pull of the intensity her character needs well.

I would say the highlight of the film for me was the ascension scene at the end, as there is a real tension there, you can feel that sense of dread and threat and really do fear that the characters will meet an untimely end through the bends.

Overall, an interesting film that does a lot with themes of isolation and abandonment but one that is perhaps too dark at times and that will put a lot of people off.

3/5

Pros.

Both of the leads

The ending

The themes

Cons.

It is not for everyone

It is at times too depressing

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Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One: It Is The Hobbit All Over Again

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ethan Hunt, played by Tom Cruise, is back for another go around the sun.

This was disappointing, not majorly hence the score but I just thought it could have been so much more. I think the decision to split the film into two parts was a bad idea and led to this one being far too light. What I mean by that is that if this was a tighter narrative and crucially one film then a lot of what happened would have been much quicker and less drawn out. As it stands there are scenes like the one set in an airport for example, that first introduces us to Hayley Atwell’s character, that just drag on. To be tighter and better these scenes could have been cut in half.

Moreover, whilst I liked the plot of the film and the idea of them facing off against a rogue AI and people from Hunt’s past I thought that the decision to overlook a lot of the franchise’s recurring character’s in favour of Hayley Atwell’s newcomer was a poor decision. Don’t get me wrong Atwell’s new character was fine, but we barely got to see any scenes with Hunt and his side men or find out really what had been going on with them between films. I think the biggest missed opportunity on this front was Ilsa, played by Rebecca Ferguson. We do get some insight into what she had been doing and she is in a sense pivotal to the plot, but I just feel like we barely get any time with her before she is killed off, this very act cost the film a point form me because within the last two films she had been the most interesting character so to see her die midway into the big two part finale was a bad decision.

The action was good and what you would expect, the stunts I would say were a little lacklustre when compared to the previous films in the franchise but again they had written themselves into a corner, there are only so many things they can feasibly do and there has been a lot of these films at this point.

Overall, it sets an interesting tone for going into what I assume to be the final film, however by ignoring its side characters and out and out killing Ilsa the film left me disappointed.

3/5

Pros.

The action

It is serviceable

The plot has a few interesting dimensions and sets up for an interesting finale

Cons.

Ilsa

The pacing is awful

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