Merry Good Enough: Not Really Good Enough

A mother, Susan Gallagher, goes missing on Christmas.

So this is a holdover from my 2024 Christmas viewing season, as I am now writing about it in late January, it slipped through my net regarding posts to release and I had forgotten I had seen it for a while on top of that. That should say all we need to about the film leading in.

However, I imagine you want more. So basically this is a film about a mother who feels underappreciated and runs away both because she wants to escape her children but also because she wants to know they care. This bizarre dichotomy is made only the more strange by the fact that she does not live with her children so why does she need to escape them, one whom she quarrels with comes around every week but she still has the rest of her week to herself. Anyway logic aside.

The kids air family grievances and have to come to terms with the fact that there parents are not perfect people, a thing that most already know by their mid-teens, but hey these folks have to figure it out as adults as they are all clearly quite sheltered.

There is some charm and some relatability but ultimately you cannot form a bond with any of the characters as the writing is just so poor, they don’t feel like people but rather archetypes.

Overall, a fairly forgettable Christmas dramady.

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a few warm moments

Cons.

It is poorly paced

It is forgettable

The characters feel like characters

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A Real Life: This Is Why Folk Hate Americans Abroad

Summary

A guided tour of Poland takes a turn for the emotional.

This was a perfectly fine film, but I am left wondering how it was nominated for awards. In my estimation the only reason this got nominated for anything is because the awarding bodies, acutely aware that they have been demonising jews and Israel for the year need to do something to cover themselves in the face of antisemitism accusations, so they do this: much as a racist may remind you they have a black friend.

I thought narratively it was no great shake due to the fact that the reveal was obvious. We have seen the formula of successful friend of family member, here Eisenberg, meets with less successful or wash out friend of family member, here Culkin, for the latter to turn out to be on the verge of suicide or some form of trauma and for the former then have to give them a reason to live again. Film’s as different to this as The World’s End did this narrative.

Moreover, Culkin’s character which was supposed to be sympathetic just wasn’t. He seemed to be an awful person with few redeeming qualities, a perfect example of this is when he berates the guide for giving information. The others or his tour may well have wanted to hear it but because he didn’t he behaves unilaterally. The fact they have a scene later when the tour guide thanks him makes it all the worse, as this scene feels like it is there in order to excuse the character rather than how people would actually behave. There are not enough scenes where you feel warmth towards his character to make you feel anything when the truth about his trauma comes out.

Overall, I am a fan of Eisenburg and will always show up to his projects, however, the writing in this one was a little cliched and weak.

2.5/5

Pros.

There are some fun moments

It does have an emotional core, but that doesn’t make you empathise with the characters

The central duo have a believable familial friendship

Cons.

Culkin’s character is insufferable

The reveal is obvious

The supporting cast are wasted

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Shogun Season One Overview: The Best Series Of The Year

Summary

A series about an Englishman, Cosmo Jarvis’ trip to feudal Japan.

I think this was one of the strongest series of the year, not just because it was well done but also because it was so refreshing. We have been crying out for more Samurai fare for a while, there are some films and series here and there, but by and large the sub-genre at least from a western perspective has been dry for a while. As such this arrived at just the right time.

What I appreciate about this show is that it is both a slow burn and has soap opera like elements but it doesn’t effect the quality of the show. There is enough happening within an episode to make the slower pace and the world building feel rich and meaningful rather than tedious. Moreover, there is enough action and character’s doing things to make the interpersonal soap opera stuff seem few and far between.

I think the characters are all written well and that the story goes to interesting places, I would like to see the war between the clans more fully realised but I suppose that will be something to consider in the next season.

Overall, definitely one of the best shows of the year.

4/5

Pros.

The setting and the world

It feels fresh

It is interesting

It has great characters

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Doctor Who Christmas Special: Dr Babe’s Trip Through The Looking Glass

Summary

Dr Babes is back and crying once again.

There was so little merry about this that I consider how they can even call it a Christmas special, surely that is some form of false advertising.

If you didn’t like the new Doctor’s first series you won’t like this it is much more of the same, him dancing, him saying babes, him being sassy and then being strong by crying. Who needs brains and a sonic screwdriver when you have interpretive dance and crying.

Him being joined by one of the stars of Bridgerton just feels like the BBC once again desperately trying to get in a youth audience that has never even heard of Doctor Who, she was entirely forgettable. Turning her into the Star Of Bethlehem from the Bible was an unexpected twist that manages to spoil a centuries old story, all to prop up the BBC’s failing IP.

Having a future version of the Doctor show up just feels like more messing with the cannon for the sake of trying to get a cheap thrill, it shows a lack of respect towards the series and towards those that enjoy it. However, I would expect nothing more from the current day BBC.

Overall, more garbage paid for by an archaic and unjust tax.

0.5/5

Pros.

It makes for a good thing to laugh at

Cons.

The guest star can’t act

The star twist is stupid and doesn’t fit

The future Doctor idea is lazy and disrespectful

It is cringe

It is too long

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Sonic Three: The Quest For Meaningful Stakes

Summary

Sonic, voiced by Ben Schwartz, is back.

Going into the latter half of the year and looking at a pretty dire slate this was one of the few films that kept that small ember of optimism alive in me. However, after seeing it I have to say I was disappointed. I really don’t want to be writing that but it is the truth.

My issue with the film is pretty clear cut, whilst I liked Knuckles it did feel very much like a small story idea wrapped in goofiness and filler that was acceptable as it was a streaming show and not a mainline film. This film was far more Knuckles than the previous two films, rather than having some earnest heart, and having some epic moments or deeper worldbuilding, this film instead decided to have lots of goofy nonsense, such as a musical dance number, Eggman, Jim Carrey’s, obsession with telenovelas and a long drawn out race sequence in the films first act.

They have Krysten Ritter as the new director of GUN yet they give her one line and that is it, it is such a waste. I would have rather had more scenes that debated the ethical nature of GUN and made Sonic and co question whether they could trust them. As far as Shadow, voiced by Keanu Reeves, goes I was again disappointed. Shadow is my favourite character in Sonic lore yet they just give him a pretty bog standard revenge arc here before making him team up with Sonic at the end. I would have liked to see more of Shadow being an anti-hero, rather than him just getting the Knuckles in Sonic Two treatment where he is a villains henchman turned hero. It would have been better to have him and Sonic both trying to fix a problem say GUN did something bad in the past, but Shadow’s ways are too extreme and that puts him at odds with Sonic, rather than Sonic and Shadow both realise GUN did something bad so Shadow is going to destroy them for revenge, this seem over the top for Shadow who is an antihero, to kill lots of innocent people, and yes he isn’t fully aware of the weapons potential but still.

Overall, I would hope for the next film they could have less goofy silly stuff and a little more stakes and tension. It is never going to be super serious but some worldbuilding and some deeper character work would be nice. What I would like out of the next film is a for Amy-Rose to take team Sonic, including Shadow off world and for it to be a galaxy hopping adventure to stop a mass wave of Metal Sonics from destroying Earth to get to Sonic, this journey would explore Sonic’s origins and be large scale and epic. We wouldn’t have any goofy sing alongs dancing or anything else like that, we would have character growth and stakes.

Overall, good but a bit too silly and without the heart of the previous films.

3/5

Pros.

The end credits

It is cool to see Shadow even if they don’t do much with him

Jim Carrey is entertaining

Cons.

It is too goofy

It wastes new actors like Ritter

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The Advent Calendar: Belgium Really Seems To Have A Thing Against Disabled People In This One

Summary

An evil advent calendar leads to the deaths of a bunch of people.

I am all for horror being depressing but come on. I mean everyone in this film seems to hate the main woman, played by Eugenie Derouand simply for existing. Even her supposed friend steals the guy she is into and lets her go home with a horrible man who attacks her. It is pretty bleak.

This is done to make it better when the calendar kills a lot of these folks but still, it doesn’t make for nice viewing. Even I who have been round the way with horror many times, find seeing a disabled woman being sexually assaulted and then violently thrown out of a car and having to crawl back into her wheelchair, which takes quite a long time making it even more uncomfortable, to be needlessly over the top. It is not so much that this film is scary but it is incredibly depressing.

Overall, if you’re looking for a horror film to depress you more than it scares you look no further than this.

1/5

Pros.

It tries something new

Cons.

It is depressing

It is badly paced

A majority of the cast do very little

It is boring at times

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Baby Girl: Those Nichole Kidman AMC Adverts Have Changed Quite A Bit.

Summary

Hold onto your casserole dishes we get yet another erotic thriller for mothers.

Very much like the Grey films this film seeks to fetishize s and m and puts forward the idea of how hot it is for the boss women to be made to bark like a dog for a younger man. Is this actually titillating for anyone, remember folks when erotic thrillers would just be normal fairly vanilla sex but the passion of it is what gave it the heat, now you have stuff like this done for shock value. I am no prude but I do consider what sort of things are being shown as healthy here, and don’t think they are in fact that.

I find the graphic scenes of Nicole Kidman masturbating to not be shocking, to not be boundary pushing as oh we have never had a scene of a woman masturbating before, glass sealing shattered as we have, but instead rather to be desperate. These sort of scenes are not put in to make some bold comment on female sexuality, this comment has already been more articulately made, they are done for shock value and to be like ‘oh look at how graphic we made it that’s sexy right?’ It isn’t it is just desperate.

If Miss Kidman thinks this will make her anymore relevant or hey even get her some awards love it won’t. It will be forgotten about in about 5 minutes and will only live on in the mind of some old neglected housewife who wants it to happen to her.

Overall, a desperate sad attempt at eroticism.

1/5

Pros.

Old unsatisfied housewives might like it

Cons

It is cringe

It is desperate

It legitimising some morally bad things

Kidman is miscast

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What If Season Three Overview: Shut Down Marvel Animation

Summary

Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

So before this series aired it was well known that What If was not coming back, yet did they think to have it go out on top? Oh no. What Marvel animation produced is one of worst things that Marvel Studios has ever dumped onto Disney Plus in disgrace.

Where to start, maybe with the fact that none of the characters you know and want to see are shown here, no Iron Man, no Scarlett Witch, no Cap, but hey you do get popular Phase 4/5 characters like Agatha, Shang Chi and Kate Bishop, remember them? Worse yet rather than show us what if scenarios based on characters we like they decide to give us all new characters that mean nothing to us, Howard the Duck and Darcy have a kid, yes casual bestiality in an MCU show, and she is an important character later in the season. I bet you can hardly contain your excitement.

To break it down episode by episode so you can get a flavour of what is just so bad about the season, the first episode reads as a kid copying off their more successful friend in this case Marvel Animation stealing ideas wholesale from Pacific Rim and Godzilla. The second is an old Hollywood pat on the back with Agatha, one of the least popular characters in the MCU. The third tries to be a spy thriller sort of affair with Winter Soldier and Red Guardian yet reads more as how much can David Harbour embarrass himself in twenty minutes. The fourth is the infamous duck sex. The fifth features a Riri Williams the bargain basement Iron Man clone with multiple failed comics runs to her name. The sixth is an old west adventure with Shang Chi and Kate Bishop, who have about as much chemistry as two neighbours who have had a bitter blood feud for twenty years. The seventh is a Captain Carter and her new characters adventure across the multiverse, this is probably the best episode though that doesn’t mean its good, it sets up an interesting finale and has Storm so those memberberies are present.

The finale takes anything good about episode seven and defecates all over it and serves it up to you on a bed of middle fingers, it is about twenty minutes of Captain Carter and co punching the watchers until she finally kills herself at the end. The death of Captain Carter should have felt like something she was the show’s most important creation and yet it just felt like you had twenty minutes of your time wasted, they could have done so much with this and taken the finale in a number of ways and yet they just didn’t.

Overall, this leaves a bad taste in my mouth after a year of questionable Marvel offerings with worse yet to come. Personally I believe the age of Marvel Studios is well and truly over and I don’t think they can come back, I think it is over.

0/5

Pros.

There is nothing redeemable about it

Cons.

They seem allergic to using popular characters

The finale is terrible

The casual bestiality

It isn’t entertaining

You feel nothing

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Better Man: A Death Rattle Out Of A Rotting Sub-Genre

Summary

A man is made into a monkey.

So as I have been saying for a while musical biopics as a sub-genre are running out of steam at the box office, there are a few here or there that are making money but by and large the amount being made is less and less. In steps the bright corporate idea of making these biopics more silly and unique by doing things like shooting with Lego or as is the case here having a musical biopic where the singer is being played by a CGI monkey. I hope you can smell the desperation as I can dear discerning reader.

Honestly, there isn’t much to say about the film itself beyond its central conceit which I have already mentioned above, it is the same old same old. If you have ever seen a musical biopic before then you know the story, it is one of two. It is either rise then fall or rise, hardship, continued success, this would fall into the latter category. The two story structures are never deviated from across the entire sub-genre and really can’t be, if you are trying to tell a somewhat accurate biopic, sans the monkey, then you have to stick to reality and reality is either one or two.

If you are a Robbie Williams fan then that will help the experience as you can at least enjoy the music.

Overall, it is watchable if entirely uninspired. The monkey gimmick feels as desperate as it sounds.

2/5

Pros.

It has good songs, I am a fan of Williams music.

It has a good mostly British cast, though they are underused

Cons.

The monkey thing feels desperate

It is been there and done that

It is poorly paced

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Demon Slayer Hashira Training Arc Series Overview: A Waste Of Time

Summary

The new season of Demon Slayer has one goal, to waste your time.

So if you have read my other season reviews for Demon Slayer then you know I often have the same complaint, the pacing and the filler, more often than not each season will have a few good episodes and then lots and lots of filler around it, this is where that shifted.

I wish I could tell you that the change is a good thing but it isn’t, this season was almost entirely filler far more than the other seasons. Basically the whole of the season was just the character’s training, which I know is what the season is called, but there is no build up to a grand show down as there was with the other seasons, no here it basically just builds up to a pretty disappointing death and then the cast are thrown into the pocket dimension with a big to be continued vibe to it.

I like the characters and I like seeing them interact but this was long drawn out nothingness, and the fact that there wasn’t even a satisfying pay off at the end of the all the filler makes it doubly annoying.

Overall, this is just killing time until the films and everyone knows it.

1/5

Pros.

It has a cool ending

Cons.

It is all set up and no pay off

It is all filler

It is boring and badly paced

It hits the same beats over and over again

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