Four Weddings And A Funeral: The Funeral Would Be More Fun Than This Charmless Affair

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film revolves around Charles, Hugh Grant, and his circle of friends as they navigate love and life during a number of social occasions.

This one might be an upset, however this film did nothing for me.

Though I like the other Grant films from this era there was just something about this that didn’t quite work for me. I found the central romance to be clunky and not make a whole lot of sense narratively: having Grant’s character end up with his friend, who clearly has a crush on him, played by Kristen Scott Thomas would have made much more sense and yet they didn’t go with it.

Moreover, unlike Notting Hill I did not find any of the characters particularly likeable or charming. As the film progressed if anything I found myself becoming more and more uninterested in the characters and I cared less about what was happening to them as a result. Likewise the humour here also missed the mark for me, maybe making me laugh once or twice throughout but for the most part it left me cold.

Overall, though for many this is a classic it did nothing for me.

Pros.

Grant

One or two funny jokes

It is watchable

Cons.

The characters aren’t likeable

It is boring

The central romance is flawed

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Star Wars Visions: Tatooine Rhapsody

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young band must perform the show of their lives otherwise Jabba The Hutt will have one of their member killed.

This may be the worst episode of Star Wars Visions, though as of the time of writing I am only three quarters of the way through. This episode is just so disappointing mainly because it doesn’t feel like it fits into the Star Wars universe at all, swap out a few character skins and references and this could be any other anime. It felt jarring.

All of the characters bar Jabba were kids, and I don’t understand the reason why? For the central foursome it makes sense I suppose but why was Bobba Fett pintsized? It makes no sense.

Moreover, the whole episode is built around these big concert scenes where the band perform, this in an off itself is not a red flag, however, when the band actually starts to perform it quickly does become an issue. To be blunt the music just isn’t good, and as it is so pivotal to the episode having it be bad makes the episode infinitely worse.

Finally, the central cast of characters are annoying and whiney which makes it impossible to form any kind of attachment to them and again kneecaps the episode.

Overall, one to skip when binging the series.

Pros.

It is short

A few interesting visuals

Cons.

The songs are bad

The characters are annoying

It makes no sense that almost everyone is a child

It doesn’t feel like it fits the brand

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The Card Counter: Scorsese Was Too Busy Watching Marvel Films To Help This Film Be Good

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

William Tell, Oscar Isaac, is a man fresh out of prison. In a past life he had been a torture specialist in the armed services and now he counts cards and is a fairly successful gambler.

That premise drips with promise, couple that with the fact that Martin Scorsese himself has taken a minute from attacking superhero movies to be involved with this film and you have me intrigued. However, sadly despite all that seems to be in this film’s favour it ends up as a classic case of style over substance.

Oscar Isaac does his best and tries to give the character an air of mystery, but it just doesn’t come together. Fundamentally this film is ruined on a script and plot level early on. You don’t care about the characters or their journey because they don’t really seem to have one. There is some back ground noise about Isaac’s character killing his former torture instructor but that feels as though it has come from nowhere.

Furthermore, the supporting cast also help to hold back any potential this film could have had, with Miles Teller wannabe Tye Sheridan and Tiffany Haddish impeding the film at every turn. Haddish is painfully miscast and then given nothing to do. I don’t buy her in a serious dramatic role, and her romance with Isaac’s lead is painful to watch. Sheridan on the otherhand is a nothingburger and fails to start.

Overall, I find it surprising that a film with this premise, with Scorsese’s involvement and Isaac in the lead could be this much of a disappointment- yet here we are.

Pros.

Isaac is trying

Aesthetically this film is interesting

Cons.

Haddish

Sheridan

It is hollow

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Star Wars Visions: The Duel

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Some time after the sequel trilogy a lone wanderer comes across a Sith lord and her army of stormtroopers terrorising a village, a battle ensues.

This was an incredibly strong start to Star Wars Visions, both artistically and in terms of story. The concept of the episode is interesting, and its setting post sequel trilogy is rife to explore; so far we have seen very little set after the Rise of Skywalker. I would love to see more of this world and its inhabitants, in that regard I think there should be another Star Wars show exploring Ronin and how he came by all those other Sith kyber crystals

Moreover, I thought the animation style was beautifully done and distinctive. I enjoyed the roughness of it and thought the hard edges and minimal use of colour really helped to form a strong personality for the episode.

The fight scenes were easily the highlight of the episode particularly those between the Sith and Ronin towards the end were each was pulling off crazier and crazier moves in an effort to best the other.

Overall, a beautiful start to the series with a keen personality and edge.

Pros.

The art style

The fight scenes

The ending

The tease for what comes after the sequel trilogy

Cons.

We need more.

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Bad Candy: Forget Razor Blades In Your Treats It Is Far Worse Than That

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A myriad of scary stories happening around a small town on Halloween.

I have mixed feelings about anthologies very often they turn out to not be very good and one particularly poor segment can easily ruin the whole thing. However, here I found the good to outweigh the bad and the wider creepy atmosphere to bring all of the film’s parts together in a nice cohesive way, even the weaker parts.

Now, I won’t say every part of this film is great there are several earlier segments that are incredibly forgettable. Moreover, the effects are never very good, but in that lies a certain B movie esque charm, you can tell they are trying there best with what they have available.

The best thing for me about this film was the imagery that it creates, whether it is the detailed segment on the man that stuffs razor blades into kids Halloween treats or the vampire/ demon creature that along with his army buddies hunts down wrongdoers over the course of the evening. The film manages to make both original and classic concepts feel fresh and interesting, the segment about the old man lacing chocolate with chemicals was particularly effective, as was his punishment.

Overall, a surprisingly strong horror anthology that holds up despite some weaker elements.

Pros.

A few good memorable scares

Most of the segments work

The performances are good

Cons.

A few of the segments are on the weaker side

The effects look rough

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Together: A Lecture About Covid

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An on the rocks couple, played by Sharon Horgan and James McAvoy, have to endure lockdown together.

Personally this film wasn’t to my taste. I enjoyed McAvoy and truth be told he was the only reason I stook with it till the end, however even then it was hard to get through. I found this film to be sanctimonious and preachy throughout not only constantly referring to how people should be during the pandemic, but also giving long drawn out to the camera rants about the failings of the Government.

Horgan’s whole character came off as annoying and only proceeded to get worse as the film drew on; she was the main one lecturing the audience. I found the character arcs of both the characters to be incredibly obvious and trite. McAvoy’s character went from someone who didn’t care about other people to someone who breaks down in tears and tells a shop worker they are a ‘hero’, and Horgan’s from a perfect compassionate human being into less so. It was all so obvious.

Finally, a lot of the points being made politically felt shoe horned in and cringe. It felt like those writing the film had a set list of points they wanted to make and that was how they structured the dialogue. Lazy.

Overall, unless you like being talked down to don’t watch this.

Pros.

McAvoy

It has a few funny lines

Cons.

Horgan

The character arcs are obvious

It is preachy

It is cringey

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The Guilty: Jake Gyllenhaal’s Best?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A police officer, Jake Gyllenhaal, facing criminal charges finds himself in the middle of an abduction case as he is stuck behind a desk, all he can do is talk to the victim over the phone and try and resolve the situation.

This film is brilliant and possibly one of Gyllenhaal’s best. The journey this film takes you on whilst for the most part just showing you a man at a desk taking calls is truly magnificent. The emotions this film is packing will certainly take you through the wringer.

Gyllenhaal is electric in this role his character is volatile and damaged and you see every minute of it. From the inhaler scenes in the toilet, the fits of rage throughout, to the vomiting scene and acceptance again in the toilet. Gyllenhaal is able to really flex his muscles as an actor and give a layered striking performance.

I thought the mystery was also very strong, there is a twist three quarters of the way through, which I won’t spoil, but one that recontextualises the film in the most heart-breaking way so be prepared for that as it will hit you like a ton of bricks.

Overall, a terrific thriller film and one of Netflix’s best.

Pros.

Gyllenhaal

The ending

The twist

The emotions

Cons.

A slow start

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Lady Of The Manor: Forcing In A To Catch A Predator Scene Derails The Whole Film

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Down and out Hannah, Melanie Lynskey, gets a job giving tours at a manor house. Whilst there she also befriends a ghost, Judy Greer, of one of the dead residents.

In many ways I found this film to be needless. For example there is a big joke at the beginning that Hannah is caught up in a to catch a predator bit and is then a registered sex offender despite not being one. Now my issue with this is firstly why? There is no need for this plot wrinkle, and also that it makes no sense the police wouldn’t have convicted her as they had the wrong person and had no evidence- yet the film says they do.

This film seems to exist separately from any form of logic and often things just happen which make no sense and we the audience are just supposed to go along with it. This wouldn’t be so bad if it were not for the fact of how dumb this film is.

Personally I found most of the characters deeply unlikeable. There is having a flawed character and then there is packing your film with questionable icky characters and asking us to like them. I liked Hannah, I thought that she made several good points about being a woman in modern times, but I also think her behaviour is suspect. She was prepared to perform oral on a man who was clearly out of it, yet we are supposed to like her.

Judy Greer was a lot of fun; she was the stand out of the film for me in a lot of ways.

Overall, this felt very much like a made for TV sort of film and had so many uncomfortable and problematic elements that I lost count.

Pros.

Greer

The feminist messaging

Cons.

The icky questionable characters

None of it makes sense

It feels like an edgy made for TV film

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What If: Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

In this what if scenario Tony Stark is not taken prisoner by the Ten Rings and is instead rescued by Killmonger and becomes a pawn in the latter’s quest for revenge.

I feel like this episode really shows just how much the premise of this show hamstrings it. This is not always the case as some episodes veer off in very different directions such as the Evil Doctor Strange or Marvel Zombies one, but in the case of this episode having to tie into the films and the preestablished cannon really becomes a problem. We see moments from several different MCU films but rather than feel like its own thing this episode just feels as though it is trying to recreate those moments just slightly differently. Originality seems in short supply on this one.

Moreover, none of the characters are advanced in any meaningful way by this changed timeline which seems like a huge missed opportunity. In the Doctor Strange centric episode the idea is what if the hero turned into a villain, here we have a Killmonger that has an entirely different plan and is far more successful than he was in the main timeline MCU and a Tony Stark who didn’t have to escape his captors and become Iron Man. There is a lot this episode could have done with that set up, yet the characters are exactly like how they are in the MCU anyway with very little personality difference.

Overall, this episode really highlighted the confines of the show.

Pros.

The battle scenes

It is watchable

Cons.

The character progression is nonexistent

It sticks to the films too much

It is limiting

The ending again feels too early

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Child’s Play: How Not To Do CGI

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Chucky is reborn in a new world of tech and online interactivity.

This film is a travesty on multiple levels.

To be bluntly honest with you it took me three sittings to finish this film as each time I watched it I couldn’t stand more than about half an hour of it.

The only reason this film has a 1 is because of Aubrey Plaza as the mum, she is great as always, but she could do so, so much better than this. Honestly this film is just so terrible that no matter how good a performance any of the actors give it is quickly overshadowed.

I strongly disliked the new high tech Chucky. I thought the idea of modernising him and drastically changing what his powerset is to be stupid. It felt like a jaded executive being like ‘oh what do young people like today? Lets make him do that’. I think this film truly sullies the character. Both in terms of personality, as they don’t bring back the original voice actor, and in terms of appearance as he now just looks like an awful CGI mess. Nothing against Hamill of course but he can’t hold a candle to Brad Dourif.

Overall, I am glad this film did poorly enough to kill any chances of spawning sequels, this version of Chucky should be taught in writers rooms so that people know what not to do with the character.

Pros.

Plaza

Cons.

The child actor

Everything about Chucky

The story is dumb and convoluted

It does not need to exist

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