The Crow: The Darkest Of Angels

Summary

A true icon of 90 cinema.

Every day I think about the fact that they are remaking a film that never needed to be remade. Apologies for talking about the no doubt awful 2024 remake of The Crow, but after watching a re-release of this film recently I am now convinced but there is no hope for the remake and that it is ultimately disrespectful.

There is something so grimy so comic booky about this film that has just been lost in the modern comic book film landscape. The closest comparison point could be Sin City but those films are over a decade old now. In a sense this film reads more as a comic book come to life than anything else, it bleeds off the page, the rawness of the comic book which inspired this film helps to create the world and the emotion that drives it.

The styling and atmosphere of the film is instantly memorable and was the inspiration for goths and emos everywhere, as truly this character feels like an underdog that people can relate to, with the journey to avenge his late girlfriend truly being a thing of catharsis in the film. You are cheering him on every step of the way and can relate to him in an emotional sense that other more traditional superheroes don’t allow for.

There are a few scenes such as the rooftop guitar scene that come off by a modern sensibility as a little cheesy now, however despite the cheesiness being present it only serves to enhance the film overall and make it if anything more likeable. The film feels like the very best cross between action, horror and comic book films and in that sense there’s something there for everyone.

Perhaps I have a soft spot for the film as it was such an influential film for me growing up and one I watched many times, so perhaps I have a warmness to it that others may not. However, I believe that this is one of the best superhero/comic book films of the 1990s with the only competition being Blade.

Moreover, Brandon Lee manages to make the character both are force of nature in terms of action but also one that has a comedic side and a sentimental side allowing for a character to read as three dimensional.

Overall, this film is a cult classic for a reason and it still holds up now.

4.5/5

Pros.

The action

The world

The relatability

The ending

The aesthetic

Cons.

The cheesier moments won’t be for all tastes

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X-Men 97: A Blast From The Past

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

When scraping the bottom of the barrel what is there to do but move on to the next decade.

At first when I saw Disney were resurrecting this old and beloved series I thought to myself this would be little more than a cynical effort in brand exploitation. However, upon watching it I found there to be a lot of elements to like, in many senses this series felt like an X-Men comic book come to life. A number of iconic X-Men moments where depicted in the series for the first time and they were done justice to.

Personally the nostalgia factor was not there during my time with the show as whilst I grew up on X-Men cartoons for me it was Evolution that was my go to X-Men fix.

Something that hampered my enjoyment of the show was how it would jump around in structure, in one episode we would follow the main team but in the next a side story. To me this felt disjointed and often killed excitement I may have had between episodes.

Another thing that somewhat affected the series for me was its allegiance to current year identity politics. We had characters that were non binary, and I am no Morph expert but I do not believe the character was called this in the comics as this is a modern term. As such I believe it was included to tick a box which is the cheapest and laziest form of representation. The series also focuses heavily on the characters feelings towards Wolverine which as a side character this felt odd. The Scott and Jean relationship of which is central to the X-Men lore got less screen time and plot consideration, this could only be done in a tokenistic effort to show diversity on to appease bluehead people online.

Overall, whilst it was nice to see classic X-Men moments on the screen for the first time it was undercut by a need to appease identity politics and the structural issues with the episodes which I found jarring.

3/5

Pros.

Classic moments

A number of good action set pieces

Some fun to be hard

Cons.

Identity politics

Odd pacing and structure

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Deadpool and Wolverine: A Missed Opportunity?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds is back.

Buckle up friends this will be a long one. Everybody knows the terrible state the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been in over the last few years, is because of this and because of the importance of mutants in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that I went into this film with incredibly high expectations. Is it also because of this that I left feeling disappointed.

Now the film did have a lot of positive aspects and things to enjoy and this review is coming from a place of someone who cares deeply about the characters, however, it is because of that care that it will be a negative review. Though it was nice to see Wade back on the big screen and treating us to some more blood and gore than we usually do in the MCU, the issues arise as a matter of tone. Deadpool is obviously a comedic character, and has a number of laugh out loud jokes in the film, but there were a number of times I was hoping that the film would take itself seriously, because it needed those moments, yet didn’t. Considering the multiverse stakes of this film and the fact that it has a very heavy emotional arc for Wolverine, Hugh Jackman, it needed those serious moments to truly do it justice and to have heart, yet whenever we get close to one of these moments it is ruined by some forced joke.

I know the creatives are very excited to be in the MCU, however it does feel at times like there’s a little bit of disrespect towards the Fox X-Men universe. For example, take the opening sequence that spoils the end of Logan by having Deadpool desecrate his corpse in order to kill a bunch of people. Now at other points in the film Logan is treated with respect, however, this opening feels like it takes away from that. You could have done something equally as cool and gory using a different montage that wouldn’t have taken away from the most impactful film of the fox X-Men universe.

In terms of cameos this film goes a little over the top at times to a point where you feel like saying okay please no more fan service. Some of the cameos are cheer worthy, such as the return of X-23, Dafne Keen, who I am very glad to see with Wolverine and Deadpool at the end of the film. Some of the cameos are bad such as Channing Tatum finally getting to be Gambit yet feeling like a cosplayer rather than the character himself, he needed longer hair and to be less muscular. And some are massive missed opportunities such as the Deadpool Corps, what should have been an epic moment was just a throw away fight scene.

Another thing that I thought was questionable about the film was how much of it cantered around concepts from the Loki TV show, now this was a popular show but it was not one that will be watched by the whole audience of who would show up for a new Deadpool film. There were many many references made to Loki over the course of the film, and it just seemed an odd decision to base such a big film around events from a Disney + show. I did enjoy the Void return of some of the best Fox characters such as Aaron Stanford’s Pyro and Chris Evans’ Human Torch. However, by far the best character that appears in the Void is Cassandra Nova, Emma Corrin. Corrin clearly is having a lot of fun here and I have never seen her in anything before, at least not that I can remember, but she sure leaves an impression here. Corrin’s villainous character is both menacing and also at times quite funny and likeable, in the truest sense they are a three dimensional character.

In terms of performances Reynolds is much the same as we’ve seen him in the previous two Deadpool films, however there is an earnest side here that is new and which offers the character so new dimensions. Though I must say in contrast to that Wolverine, whom I have wanted to see in the MCU for a long time, has no new ground to cover, we have seen old defeated Wolverine before, in Logan, and whilst it’s nice to see him in the costume for the first time it still feels like there is no new depths of the character explored here. I would like to see, at some point in the future, Wolverine in a teacher role helping a new generation of mutants find their place in the MCU, this would be a new aspect of the character that hasn’t been explored before in any great depth on screen.

The final act of the film is somewhat disappointing, after the Deadpool Corps fight, which features Blake Lively as Ladypool which I liked, you then get Deadpool’s universe saved and all of the surviving characters staying in it. Now for me where this lets down is the fact that I wanted all of the Deadpool characters to end the film in 616, I wanted the film to end with them all entering into a portal together and arriving in the MCU proper whereas now they still feel distant, they are MCU adjacent but they’re not in it and I think that was something the film should have done. I understand that all the worlds will be brought together for battle world, however it just feels a bit of a bait and switch.

Another thing I don’t understand and that’s strange about the film is the fact that Deadpool can clearly travel between dimensions as he takes a 616 based Avengers job interview, yet then later when talking to the TVA doesn’t seem to know much about the multiverse only about time and space. This just doesn’t make sense to me, as okay if the character can just hop between dimensions then it really makes no sense that they were not in the 616 timeline in the end. Moreover, I would have liked to have seen Wolverine to go the Xavier’s school on the Deadpool universe and have him settle there at the end of the film, I thought it would have been a nice moment of hopeful optimism for the character. Yet the film ends on a joke about Chris Evan’s Johnny Storm swearing, yes I rolled my eyes at that too.

Overall, a good and enjoyable film with some great moments but ultimately one that is disappointing and without substance at times.

3.5/5

Pros.

Wolverine is back

X-23

Ladypool

It is nice to see the Fox characters go out with a bang

Cons.

It doesn’t end in the 616

It is afraid to have more serious moments and sometimes ruins good emotional moments with a bad joke

It wastes the Deadpool crops

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The Beast: Love Is An Often Remembered Thing

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A love story is tested against the ages.

This film is not going to be what people expect, in one sense it is a science fiction dystopian film and in another it is a romantic tragedy. The idea of the romance that is central to this film is one that is both engaging, but also deeply unsettling, one could view this film as a horror quite easily.

Lea Seydoux gives a terrific performance as a woman who wants love but can’t remember what it is and is haunted by that fact, she obsesses over prophecy when it is her own memory she’s trying to regain. George Mackay gives an often disturbing performance whilst maintaining a great deal of screen chemistry with Seydoux. If I had to single one out for praise it would be Seydoux she is the anchor of the film.

It is worth saying that this film is not for everyone it is long, bilingual, and it deals with a lot of heavy and complex themes and subject matters. At close to 2 1/2 hours the film can at times suffer from significant pacing issues, however in my opinion these issues are made-up for by the engaging plot which is easily one of the most intellectually stimulating of recent memory.

The ending of the film perfectly subverts expectations, with the audience being totally in the dark as to where the film will leave off. I found the ending both tragically comedic and also strangely affecting.

Overall, a film that will not be to everyone’s taste but one that is well worth the watch if you are a fan of thinking science fiction. This is not for the faint of heart.

Pros.

The themes and ideas explored

The performances

The ending

The dark comedy of it all

Cons.

Pacing issues

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Despicable Me 4: Everybody Wants To Rule The World

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Gru, voiced by Steve Carrell, is back and this time he’s on the run.

In my opinion this is easily the best animated film of the summer and a template for what animated films should be. We had some laughs, we had some emotions and we had a good sing song at the end. There was no heavy themes no need to talk about real world politics, and no literal embodiment of Joy crying twice as there was just no hope left. My biggest take away post seeing this film is that it is for kids and Inside Out 2is for white middle class liberal women who want to relive their girlhood whilst drinking a wine cooler.

Would I say this film was up there with the second and third Despicable Me films no probably not, but I would place it ahead of the first film. My primary reason for this is that I found the plot whilst entertaining to be a little light of stakes. Yes, Cockroach man, voiced by Will Ferrell, is funny but do I buy him as this big bad threat to Gru and his family not really. I also thought that though the idea of Gru taking an apprentice has some good legs, the Poppy, voiced by Joey King, storyline didn’t really explore it, instead wanting to be far more of a genetic Gru is blackmailed storyline. I suppose when they do a sequel if they bring her back it could lead to some interesting moments for the character.

As for the minions, the most important characters in a Despicable Me film I would say they have some stuff to do and do have a number of funny moments but lack as much screen time as you would want or expect. The super minions is an interesting idea but they don’t do much with it.

Overall, good but not the best in the series

4/5

Pros.

The sing song at the end

It is fun

It has some emotional moments

It is well paced

Cons.

Poppy needs to do more

We need more time with the minions

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Fly Me To The Moon: Hallmark In Cinemas

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A retelling of the moon landing.

So this rom-com goes quite the way you would expect it to, a couple, Scarlet Johansson and Channing Tatum, fall in love whilst working at Nasa during the moon landing. It is a sweet film and it does have some good moments of sentimentality, however, I have to say I never really bought the relationship between the two leads, the chemistry wasn’t there as it might have been in something like Anyone But You.

Johansson is surely a forced to be reckoned with here, and has a lot of good moments, yet Tatum is not given anything to elevate him. The material is very hokey and almost Hallmark esque in how earnest his character is, he is a small town, veteran, who cares about his job and about Jesus. Nothing wrong with that but it is quite stereotypical.

There is also a certain level of my old pet peeve, yes you guessed it American exceptionalism. With the film having a steady drum beat of USA USA every few minutes, which is fine is that is what you are into but for me it was a little clawing. Maybe if I was American I’d like that sort of uber patriotism more.

There are some good laughs here particularly the stuff with the cat and Tatum’s overreaction to it. Moreover, Woody Harrelson’s government spook is a great villain and has some terrific moments, particularly him singing Fly Me To The Moon at the end of the film that is his finest hour.

Overall, it does what you would expect it to, nothing more nothing less.

3/5

Pros.

Johannsen

Harrelson

A few laughs

Cons.

The chemistry could have been stronger

The uber patriotism

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The Exorcism: Russell Crowe’s Rematch With The Devil

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Russell Crowe is back fighting the devil but this time he isn’t riding a little vespa, a shame indeed.

I like that Russell Crowe is trying to move into horror and I hope he does it more, the genre suits him. When I first saw a poster for this film I thought it was a sequel to his Vespa riding adventure from either last year or the year before, sadly it isn’t.

The idea of an actor in a possession film becoming possessed is a fairly novel idea, at least on paper, I can’t say I have seen it before and I have seen a lot of possession films. However, it is in execution that this film falls apart, in three key ways.

Firstly it has a very prominent child abuse sub plot and for me personally this was a bit needlessly unpleasant, it made me feel uncomfortable every time and whilst I can understand from a character motivation point of view why they included it to explain Crowe’s characters negative feelings I feel it went on for a bit too long. Moreover, I question haven’t we had enough horror films that reference the abuse of the Catholic Church, what happened was pure evil but do we still need to be fixating on it when so many other films have already covered it?

Secondly, the film makes Crowe a deadbeat dad to give him the twin issues of the possession and his substance abuse, from a character point of view you can see why they did it. However, what it leads to is a very annoying bratty teen/young adult character, Ryan Simpkins, who you just don’t care about. This teen character is the main character of the film she is the one being targeted by the possessed Crowe you are supposed to like her and yet you don’t. Chloe Bailey should have been the lead with it telling two stories of two actors in this film and how the possession effects the film rather than doing the father daughter thing.

Thirdly, this film in terms of horror just repeats the same beats over and over again, none of it is new, nothing is something you haven’t seen before. It takes what could have been a good idea and then just wastes it by filling it with junk.

Overall, this film is below average possession fare, there is much better out there.

1.5/5

Pros.

Crowe is trying his best

It is a good premise

Cons.

The child abuse stuff is too full on

It is the same old same old

The daughter is irritating and hard to warm towards

It has pacing issues

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Lord Of The Rings Return Of The King Extended Edition: The Eagles Have Arrived

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The King returns.

So this is probably my second favourite of the trilogy, it comes very close at times to being my favourite almost edging out Fellowship, but then I don’t like the ending. Now before you bring out the pitchforks let them explain, I am a book purist, for me the perfect ending to this trilogy would be what we got but also the Scouring of the Shire. I understand the reason why the films didn’t include this, likely time as they are already long, however I just think the symbolism of showing the hobbits leading their sleepy people to victory after being afraid themselves for a lot of the adventure is a beautiful bit of character development but I digress.

In many senses this film is easily has some of the best moments in the trilogy, perhaps even more so than Fellowship, however, I still give it to Fellowship overall. Some of my favourite moments are the attack of the dead men, and the I am no man scene, both of which hit just the right emotional balance and are also cool as hell. I am a big Witch King fan and would like to see him get his own prequel show, although with how Hollywood is now probably best not, but it is very interesting to see more of him in this film.

The visual spectacle of the final battle still holds up, and the for Frodo charge is a magical moment, and it does in many ways manage to top the Battle of Helms Deep. I would say for sure that this film has the best action of the trilogy.

I don’t like how much attention Gollum, Andy Serkis, gets here, you all know my problems with him if you have read the other reviews, I think of all the characters to give flashbacks to he was the one least in need. I can understand why they did it to show how Frodo, Ellijah Wood, was giving into the Ring and what he could become however, I would have still preferred they be cut out.

Overall, a near perfect film with just the ending and the Gollum flashbacks being the things to stop it from being a 5

4/5

Pros

Some epic moments

It gets you in the feels

The best action in the franchise

The effects hold up well

Cons.

The Gollum flashbacks

No Scouring of the Shire

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The Acolyte Episode 8: The Novice Osha Kills Jedi Master Sol With Ease, Let That Sink In

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

We finally see the back of the worst show in Star Wars history.

Lets see what does this finale have to offer, well firstly it bastardises Darth Plaguise making him some random cave dwelling ghoul and also manages to force Yoda in at the end in one final lore break. It makes no sense as if Yoda had learned about all of this he would have behaved differently in the prequels.

Leslye Headland’s self-insert wife returns here and continues her struggle to act, she reveals that the wannabe Sith was actually her apprentice. A twist everyone saw coming. I think the issue with her character is just that the acting is so bad it is distracting. This is why you should only put your girlfriend in your films if she can act.

Osha, Amandla Stenberg, snapping and killing the Jedi when she has always been the good one of the twins makes very little sense as does her later decision to wipe Mae’s memory. It is one of those things that you can feel them doing to try and set up conflict for a second season, which thanks to poor viewing figures is never coming.

Overall, thank God it is over

0.5/5

Pros.

It is not offensive

Cons

It ruins Plaguise

It makes no sense

It is super obvious

Amandla can’t act

It continues to break the lore

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The Acolyte Episode 7: Saving Children From A Cult Somehow Makes You The Bad Guy

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

We finally get to see how the coven of witches died.

My apologies for the lateness of this review it took me a minute to mull over the maddening content that we were presented with in this episode.

I’ll open this by saying that this show thinks it has something deep to say about morality it does not. It thinks that by having a patriarchal group like the Jedi, if we just ignore Carrie Anne Moss’ character, smashing up a matriarchal coven that it says something interesting or new about gender politics, it doesn’t.

A lot of Acolyte stans coming out of this episode have said that the Jedi are evil, this is dumb and reductive. They have such a bias that oh this coven of darksiders cannot be evil because they are women and a minority, and Mae and Osha, Amandla Stenberg, is the main character and so her perspective has to be right. Mae started the fire that killed the coven when they were all passed out, the coven wanted to kill the Jedi the moment they arrived, the only member of the coven that the Jedi killed was using a dark side power and so was deemed a threat. Again the stans go see he’s evil she did nothing wrong, the analogy of the police shooting first as they think someone is going to pull a gun on them has been used repeatedly, whereas in reality he was just defending himself against a perceived threat as anyone would do. Moreover, he shows regret for his actions.

To me this episode was lazy as how much new footage did we really get? I’ll answer for you, not a lot. Most of it was repurposed from the previous episode that covered this moment. To me this just reeks of trying to save money in the budget, you could go oh well they showed a new perspective of the Jedi being bad, but did they? Again I would say the previous episode on this topic already implied that, but the audience is too simple to be able to handle that so they had to physically show it.

There are no mysteries in this show as you know where everything is going. Let me take a moment to predict the next episode for you, Mae and her Jedi chaperone will decide its time to go and save Osha, there it will be revealed that the Sith has her on the verge of turning but they will arrive just in time. The Jedi will die fighting the Sith and then Mae will try to kill the Sith to save her sister, as she does that it will be revealed he is not the master, and the horned witch, one of their mothers, will be the real master and then the three of them will have a heart to heart and realise it wasn’t her fault, the horned mother will let go of her anger and the mother and her daughters will walk off together into the sunset.

Finally, the idea that a Jedi cannot handle a 7 week placement on a planet and so goes mad out of a desire to go home is laughable in terms of character motivations, but at this point I expect nothing less

1/5

Pros.

Some very funny moments this week

Cons.

The character motivations

The logic

Trying to make a group of darksiders into misunderstood heroes

Mae was the one who really killed the coven

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