Star Wars Visions: In The Stars

Summary

Two sisters attempt to restore water to their devastated world

Much like episode 2 I found this episode to be depressing, and I know Star Wars can be depressing and can do it well look at Andor, however, even within the confines of that show there is an underlying hopefulness as the Rebellion is beginning to from, here things start out incredibly bleak and don’t get better until the end of the episode.

I thought the characters were fine, I didn’t really warm to either sister, and thought that their arc of one being naïve and plucky and the other guarded and jaded had been done better in the past. I understand where the episode wanted their arcs to go and it roughly got there but I think more work was needed to do it well.

I am finding with this second season of Visions that pacing is really becoming an issue either the idea isn’t developed enough and needs more time to tell its story or the idea is too long and needs to be better cut down. The whole season thus far could do with some better editing.

Overall, fairly boring and generic.

2/5

Pros.

A solid premise

Seeing the wide reaches of the Empire

Cons.

It is underdeveloped and the character arcs needed more time

The sister’s don’t stand out as characters and feel too familiar in terms of personality

It feels depressing and not fun to watch

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Star Wars Visions: Screecher’s Reach

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of children straight from the workhouse explore a cave system and come across an old Sith who has gone mad and is thought of by the locals as a ghost, little do the children know they have stumbled into a much darker game.

This episode was certainly not what I was bargaining for, in many senses this episode was deeply unsettling outright creepy. Normally I wouldn’t have an issue with this but in the context of the show and what Star Wars is this came across as being far too different.

Now the whole point of this show is to try and play around with Star Wars and do new things, however, I think it is a balancing act between doing something new that still feels like the brand at the same time. This I would argue crossed that line and no longer felt like Star Wars

The Sith Mother, who is the real villain behind the whole episode was a very intriguing figure that I have not been able to stop thinking about since watching this, there was just something so off-kilter and incredibly sinister about her that makes her interesting. I hope the wider Star Wars lore comes back to her at some point.

Overall, depressing and unsettling not really what I want out of a Star Wars show.

1.5/5

Pros.

The Sith Mother was interesting

It has great animation

Cons.

It is bleak

It doesn’t feel like Star Wars

It is unsettling

The narrative needed greater explanation

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The Mother: The Embarrassing State Of Netflix’s Action Output

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Mother, played by Jennifer Lopez, formed a bond with a child she gave away years ago and now needs to save her.

This film was just embarrassing. It was embracing for Jennifer Lopez as try as she might she just doesn’t have the presence to be a believable action hero. I know that the straight to DVD action market is a lucrative thing, with the likes of Ruby Rose getting several nice but small paydays throughout the year for a few sleepwalked performances, but unlike Rose Lopez just isn’t believable in the role at all. They could have maybe helped her along by developing the character out into being unconventional in some way or maybe even having her as a hacker, though I question if Lopez would have fit that role either, but having her as an assassin is laughable.

It is embarrassing for Netflix that this is the quality of action film they are putting out, again very much like something that in the previous decade would have gone straight to DVD and sold at a rock bottom price. When you look at the quality of studio action films with the likes of John Wick then this film looks even more like no one cared enough to make it good or more importantly look good. Then when you further compare it to international action films like The Raid then this film looks appallingly bad.

Netflix as a studio, needs to find their niche of films and stick to it as action clearly isn’t for them, they are throwing away masses of money on films like this, The Grey Man, Extraction and so on and all of them can never get anywhere even remotely above average on their best days.

Overall, a waste of time.

1/5

Pros.

I’m struggling but it wasn’t offensive so I can’t give it less.

Cons.

Lopez is miscast

The action is awful

It is generic

It has pacing issues

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Planet Terror: Go-Go Gore

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The survivors of a biochemical disaster must face off against zombie like creatures and the military.

So of the two Grindhouse films this is clearly the better. Whilst not perfect, this film is far more enjoyable, both in terms of having a style and a charm that I could easily get on board with as well as having characters that I actually cared about.

I am a big fan of Robert Rodriguez, I like most of his more adult orientated content, and this film proves why I feel that way. It has such a personality and soul and never stops trying to be interesting. I liked the tone the film set and how it managed to swing between irreverent and dramatic at the same time whilst still managing to also gets some rad kills in along the way.

I really do think that Rose McGowan is terrific here. Her lead is both one that you end up rooting for but also one that is full of twists and surprises and is a very interesting character that Rodriguez should consider going back to in his future work.

My main issues with the film is that some of the ideas and themes don’t age well, as well as the fact that zombies, and yes I know these aren’t zombies in the traditional sense, feel very overdone and just boring at times. Due to this I am more interested in the army villains within the film instead, but these do end up feeling underdeveloped at times.

Overall, the better half of Grindhouse but also not without its own issues.

3/5

Pros.

McGowan

The tone and the style

The gore

Cons.

It feels dated

The zombie threat seems overly familiar and played out

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The Princess Bride: Your Princess Is In Another Castle

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A story within a story about a young farmhand, played by Cary Elwes, who must go on a quest to save the love of his life, played by Robin Wright, after she is kidnapped.

For the most part I enjoyed this film. Yes, the damsel in distress plot line is played out, but I suppose when the film came out maybe it felt more fresh. That aside I found this to be an entertaining ride.

The comedy was the thing that caught me off guard, I had been expecting more of a straightforward adventure/fantasy film and as such wasn’t really expecting many jokes, but this film does have a lot of them and most of them work well. It certainly made me smile more often than not.

Additionally, I liked the meta aspects of the narrative wherein the story knows it is a story and as such is a bit more playful and knowing both within its narrative as well as its presentation towards the audience.

I think as well that Elwes and Wright have great chemistry and them together as a couple in this feel incredibly natural and rightly paired.

Overall, a lot of fun.

4/5

Pros.

The great chemistry

The jokes

The metaness

It is a lot of fun

Cons.

Some aspects of the film feel quite dated now

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The NeverEnding Story: A Fantasy Classic?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy, played by Barrett Oliver, soon finds himself on a quest in a magical fantasy land.

Before watching this I had never seen The Never Ending Story before, I had long heard tale of it being one of the best fantasy films ever made, but it remained a mystery to me. However, now after having watched it I can safely say that Peter Jackson’s original trilogy of trips to the Shire are safe in their spot as the best fantasy films ever made.

Now the film does have some good areas, such as the effects which hold up reasonably well, and the characters which manage to feel different enough to stand out from the generic masses of mythical beings that pad out the rest of the fantasy film genre.

However, where the film falls down for me is within it’s plot. I understand that it is adapting a book so can only do so much, but the premise is just one I have seen so many times before in a cross media context, and that genericness made me start to tune out when I realised the direction the film was heading in. Moreover, the film also suffers from pacing issues which makes it feel far longer than it is and as such far more of a chore to get through.

Overall, a serviceable film but definitely not the classic it is thought as by some.

3/5

Pros.

The effects hold up well

Some interesting and memorable characters

A good score

Cons.

The premise feels very generic

Pacing issues

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Death Proof: Tarantino’s Mistake

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A serial killer stuntman, played by Kurt Russell, hunts down young women in modified cars.

If nothing else this film proves no one is perfect. For as many great films as Quentin Tarrantino has made across his career there always had to be a dud, it is the law of averages, and this is that dud.

This is easily Tarrantino’s worst film, with a story that is utterly simplistic and lacks any of his usual charm or whit. I understand that it is trying to parody exploitation films and evoke those sort of ideas, but this only serves to make the film worse. The exploitation nature of the premise leads to the film quickly becoming repetitive and bland.

Worse yet is the idea that this film is a black comedy. Not only does the humour not work it really barely comes through at all. When it is present it is you laughing at the film for how bad it is, was this what Tarrantino wanted?

Overall, Tarrantino’s worst film by quite a margin.

1/5

Pros.

It gives us a few laughs at how bad it is.

Cons.

The humour doesn’t work

The exploitation elements don’t hold up

It lacks any kind of charm

It is repetitive

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Mafia Mamma: The Suburbs Take Italy

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After being cheated on Kristin, played by Toni Collette, travels to Italy for her grandfather’s funeral. However, little does she know that once their she will become the head of a prominent crime family.

In many sense this is a lame wine mum esque comedy, but in truth these days that is really becoming my bag. I enjoy the sort of films where female characters get to have The Hangover style shenanigans and even more so when it is mature women doing it. This is because as many have noted once women reach a certain age in Hollywood it seems all they are good for is playing mothers to younger teen characters or even in some cases grandmother, regardless their days as the protagonist having fun adventures is over. That is why films like this are so needed.

Yes I feel like I have seen it before but at the same time there is something very comforting about a film like this. Collette plays the role to perfection and your really go on this journey with her when she comes into her power both in a sexual sense but also in terms of self-worth. At the same time we get a lot of good nods and outright parodies of The Godfather movies across the film and a lot of the gangster stuff is quite funny due to the drastic culture clash

Overall, it is a lovely feel good film boosted by a strong performance from Collette

4/5

Pros.

It is feel good

It is comforting and easy

It is quite funny and has a number of good references

Collette

Cons.

It feels a little familiar

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3: And You Thought Toy Story 3 Was Sad, You Haven’t Seen Anything Yet

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Guardian’s gather for one final journey together.

Buckle up this is going to be a long one. To give you a peak behind the curtain usually the first thing I do when writing a review is to decide on a score, but this is the first film where even as I am writing this sentence I am not quite sure what I want to give the film.

In one regard, this film gave us conclusions to some of the best character arcs in the MCU and did the best character work I have ever seen in one of these films. It was perfectly balanced in terms of every character having their moment to shine and each one had a satisfying ending, be that retirement or new calls to leadership. Moreover, I thought this film perfectly encapsulated the family bond of the Guardians as a team and showed in a very earnest way just how much they care about each other.

I must say before going further I was very surprised no one died and that instead the characters were just retired, as I thought for sure someone was going to die. I think in a sense if someone had died the film would have been more effecting, but I think the reason no one did is because the film couldn’t take any more darkness, I’ll get to that in a minute.

Also I enjoyed how Adam Warlock, played by Will Poulter, was done. Yes I know I am in the minority on that but I thought it was a different side to him then what the comics usually show and had him instead be more vulnerable. He definitely needs to come back in the future especially if it is a space bound story. Although I will say that I thought it was a little contrived how they switched Adam from being a baddie to a goodie, and I thought that the Sovereign were largely wasted. It would have been very interesting to have seen their society realise the man they thought was a God was in fact a monster.

Now back to the other regard, in many ways I didn’t enjoy this film. I thought it was a good character piece but not a fun time at the cinema or a film I would ever want to watch again. When I next do my Marvel rewatch this film will be left out. The reason for that is because of the bleak, distressing and deeply upsetting scenes of animal abuse that pepper the film. Yes, I know that a, they are not real animals and that it is just CGI and b, that Rocket’s backstory from the comics is twisted and depressing so they had to do the adaption justice. However, my counter to both of those points would be that it doesn’t make the film any less depressing and unhappy of a watch. They could have shown Rocket’s backstory without going as hard as they did, even if it was just off screen or implied, they didn’t need to show some of the things they did. I think the perfect encapsulation of what I am talking about comes during the destruction of Counter-Earth, in which Adam Warlock’s pet urinates in fear as it thinks it is going to die on the Guardian’s ship. Perhaps to some that scene may have been a joke, but to me I found it to be the icing on the cake of horrible treatment towards animals which I found very distressing. Also don’t get me started on the Holocaust parallels in the final section of the film wherein the children on the ship are about to be killed before being liberated by the Guardians.

PS. If you are considering taking your kids to see this then hear me now, don’t do it this isn’t a happy go lucky Marvel romp this film goes to incredibly dark places and frankly I don’t think it is suitable for kids

Overall, great character work but honestly a very miserable film to watch.

3/5

Pros.

The ending

The character work

It perfectly balances every character and gives everyone their moment

Cons.

It isn’t a fun watch and is deeply depressing and upsetting at times

It has major pacing issues

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Dungeons and Dragons Honor Amongst Thieves: Rolling Hard For Charisma

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A motley crew of thieves, sorcerers and resistance fighters set out on a quest to steal a magical artifact that has the power to resurrect the dead and reunite one of the band with his dead wife.

I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would. I will admit here relatively up front that I am fairly inexperienced when it comes to Dungeons and Dragons and the wider lore of the game, I have played a few sessions of it in my time but I have never been overly into it. So that said I was coming into this world fairly fresh.

I thought that the cast of characters we meet are all fairly charming, Michelle Rodriguez and Justice Smith really shine in their roles as a fearless warrior and a hapless sorcerer, but are probably out pipped by Chris Pine as the master planner extraordinaire. I bought into their motivations and thought that they nicely engaged me over the course of the film’s runtime, so much so that if there were to be a sequel I would say they should return.

The real strength of this film is its comedy, which for the most part really did land for me. Yes, there were one or two jokes that didn’t land or that were out and out bad but for the most part this film was fairly funny. First impressions may suggest that this film is more of an action and adventure epic in the same vein as a Pirates Of The Caribbean, but I would argue that in actuality this film is far more of a comedy then anything else.

Overall, funny and charming, only held back by a weak villain and pacing issues.

3.5/5

Pros.

Pine, Rodriguez and Smith

It has charm, heart and laughs

You engage with the character and buy their motivation

It is fun

Cons.

It has pacing issues

The villain is weak and forgettable

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