Only Murders In The Building:The Tell

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The trio continue on their hunt for the murderer, which leads to a very tense game of Son of Sam.

I think this episode continued to build on the positive momentum of the last and actually does go to some interesting places. I am not saying that this is a perfect episode or anywhere near the same level as the first series, but it is a hell of a lot better than the earlier episode of this current season.

In large part the improvement here can be placed on two keys scenes and performances. Firstly, the Son of Sam scene is very good as it transports everyone back in time and gives them period attire, moreover, Charles, played by Steve Martin, and Oliver, played by Martin Short, go after Alice, played by Cara Delevingne, suspecting her to be the murderer not just for the game but for the wider mystery of the series. Delevingne gives her best performance yet during this scene, possibly the best of her career, and she really falls into the character. Secondly, the other strong scene here is the one in which Charles talks to Jan, played by Amy Ryan, on the phone. During this conversation the two have such strong chemistry that it becomes palpably hard to look away from. Hopefully we will get more Charles and Jan throughout the remainder of this season.

My major issue of this episode is the final twist in which Oliver learns he might not actually be his son’s biological father. To me this just feels like more needless drama that doesn’t really serve the story but instead acts as filler to pad for time, In addition as far as twists go this one feels quite cheap and manipulative.

Overall, the second season seems to be trending upwards after a shaky start.

Pros.

Charles and Jan

Delevingne

The mystery is getting better

Good costume work

Cons.

The ending

The pacing is still far too slow

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Saving Christmas: This Is Why America Is In Decline

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kirk Cameron is trying to tell you how those non-believing woke lefties are ruining Christmas.

Oh no dear reader I have done it again, I have fallen back into the burning pit of desperation that is faith cinema.

This time around the film is far more desperate than God’s Not Dead and has the central character take breaks from the film to address the audience directly, through a series of monologues, during which time he tries to lay out a dire case for how the non-believers and those who dare to have other faiths or say ‘happy holidays’ are somehow ruining the season itself.

Moreover, the central plot follows Cameron’s character who spends the runtime trying to convince his brother in law, played by the film’s director Darren Doane, that Christmas is still a Christian holiday. My word, the thinly vailed racism is so hard to pick up on it is crazy, but if you look beneath the incredibly shallow and obvious surface there it is. Clearly the writers of this must be ardently anti-Capitalist as it is not non-believers and those of other faiths who have ruined the season but America’s rampant and sickening consumerism.

It is films like that which indoctrinate people into believing all sorts of nonsense, and into believing that repealing abortion and birth control is a good idea and one that God would approve of. The very definition of American entitlement, screaming their religious views at you whilst telling you that you are the problem. This is why America as a country is sinking further into the abyss.

Overall, the only good thing about this film is that it has some good laughs in stall for anyone foolhardy enough to watch it.

Pros.

It is laughably bad

Cons.

It highlights some of the very worst aspects of American society

It is smug, entitled and insufferable in equal measure

It loses its own point

Kirk Cameron needs to get a new hobby

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South Park Streaming Wars Part 2

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Randy, voiced by Trey Parker, must find the duality within himself in order to save the world from Manbearpig and to finally end the streaming wars.

I think this was better than the last special but still not great. I liked that they acknowledge that the character of Randy has become one note, and frankly annoying, and I was even pleased to see that they were going to change him back to how he used to be before he became the weed guy and was an actual character. However, then the ending comes along as seems to dump all over that idea suggesting that more weed Randy is to come, oh joy.

Moreover, though I liked the meta commentary on streaming wars and Matt Stone and Trey Parker using the special as a means to complain about their own experiences, I think that the formatting of the whole thing was off and that it illustrates perfectly how South Park works far better as a disconnected series, rather than interconnected specials. I would really like them to go back to how the show used to be before they forced in serialisation.

The comedy this time around was also marginally better than in the last special and I found I was laughing more throughout. I am also glad they greatly reduced Cartman’s role down as he was really quite annoying in the previous part of this event, verging on loathsome.

Overall, better than the last Streaming Wars but maybe they should stop with the specials soon as they are becoming long in the tooth.

Pros.

It is funnier

It acknowledges what went wrong with Randy

The characters feel more likeable then they did in the first part

Cons.

The ending and Randy’s future

It would have worked better a one off episode of the series rather than as a big flashy special

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X-Men Origins Wolverine: A Huge Missed Opportunity, Not Without Some Merit

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The origin story of James Howlett, played by Hugh Jackman.

I know that many people will have an issue with my score for this film, and that through the sheer fact of having the Tim Rothman requested mouth sown shut Deadpool, played by Ryan Reynolds, that this film should automatically have a low score however allow me to try and change your mind.

I think rather undeniably this film has a very cool aesthetic, whether it is the opening montage of James and his half-brother Victor, played by Liev Schreiber, fighting through various wars, or the introduction of Gambit, played fantastically by Taylor Kitsch, there are a lot of cool scenes in this film that are hard not to be excited by.

Moreover, unlike in most of Wolverine’s other appearances in the various X-Men films the threat here feels both real and personal to him. Not only do we get to see him in a very raw state as he is made, but we also get to see him essentially lose at the end turning him into a tragic character. In many ways I think this approach does far more for the character then just seeing him slice up a roomful of dudes with his claws.

The downsides to this film are numerous and have been detailed in great accuracy in other places to me the biggest crime of this film are the parts of it wherein you can see the overly heavy hand of Tim Rothman and the wider studio coming in to suppress good ideas and do what they want. I think if Rothman had not been as he has been rumoured to have been then this film could have had a chance at being good.

Overall, a lot of interesting visuals and a solid Wolverine story, undercut by obvious studio interference.

Pros.

The opening montage

Giving Wolverine a clear emotional arc

A lot of solid action

It is fun to watch

Cons.

The blatant changes mandated by studio interference

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How To Please A Woman: Sally Phillips Breaks Bad

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After losing both her marriage, in an emotional sense, and her job, in a literal sense, Gina, played by Sally Phillips, embarks on a new chapter in her life: one centred around topless men and sex for hire.

I feel like I have seen this film before, a woman sick of her life and her husband breaks bad. Once upon a time that would be a new and novel idea but now it feels fairly tame and by the numbers. Moreover, the female gaze angel around the woman using men for sex, rather than it being the other way around, does feel a little bit more revolutionary, but even that feels like well-worn ground these days.

However, I do think that Sally Phillip does manage to save this film and gives and earnest performance. If an actor of a lesser talent tried to do the same role no doubt the film would have felt incredibly generic and average, but Phillips manages to elevate the material.

In terms of the film’s comedy it made me smile a few times and chuckle here and there but for the most part I didn’t find it that funny, certainly it was not laugh out loud.

Overall, Philips elevates what is otherwise a very familiar film.

Pros.

Phillips

It is watchable

A few laughs here and there

Cons.

It feels a bit too familiar

Pacing issues

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Green Lantern: The Endless Horrors Of CGI

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The time when DC fundamentally screwed up on of their most popular characters.

This film has become a joke amongst fans of comic book cinema, and the jarring contrast between this and the contemporary Nolan Batman trilogy is blindly clear, where one is dark and gritty the other ops for poorly done CGI and a garish colour pallet and where one is good the other is this film. Pretty stark.

I think it is pretty clear throughout this film that Ryan Reynold’s doesn’t want to be there as his performance is lifeless, as such it is very hard to care about his character at all which leads to you switching off more and more whilst watching it. I also think having his whole costume be CGI was a terrible decision that becomes noticeably distracting as the film goes along.

In terms of how this film treats its characters and the wider DCEU lore, it cherry picks a few things and somewhat explains them, though not in a way a non-comic reading audience would understand. Worse yet it also manages to bastardise a lot of things and change characters and concepts from the comics for no real valid reason. These two things combined managed to alienate both the comic readers an the non-comic readers, well played DC.

Overall, boring, lifeless and not a fun time.

Pros.

It lead to some good memes

Cons.

The characters are awful

It dumps on wider DC lore

The CGI suit

It is incredibly dumb and generic

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Only Murders In The Building: Here’s Looking At You

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Charles’ sort of step daughter, played by Zoe Colletti, arrives and adds some further layers to the mystery.

I will give this episode props it was certainly better than the last and it did, to a small degree, get me interested in the murder mystery again. I think adding in Colletti’s character helped to give the episode a new perspective and helped things to feel a little bit fresher than they had previously been. It will be a huge shame if the character doesn’t return.

Likewise I thought the return of Teddy Dimas, played by Nathan Lane, was also quite welcome as it presented the group both with a threat, something they have been sorely lacking this season, as well as with the consequences of their actions. I thought both brought new dimensions to what in my mind is a struggling second season.

Despite my praise so far it is by no means a perfect episode and there is a lot of filler on display here to pad out the runtime. Moreover, I remain resolute in my belief that the central trio seem to have lost most of, if not all, of the charm they had last season and come across more as angry passive aggressive jerks a lot of the time.

Overall, better than last week’s episode but still far from the previous season.

Pros.

Returning faces

New characters

It livens up the mystery a bit more

Cons.

The central trio still feel unlikeable

Filler

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365 Days: Netflix Should Be Ashamed

0/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A film that romanticises sexual abuse.

This might be one of the grossest films Netflix has ever released. The fact that despite all of the controversy and calls for Netflix to remove it from their platform that they instead pushed ahead with a sequel is honestly sickening to me. I don’t believe in media censorship and feel like everyone should be able to make the art they want to make, however, I do think there are limits, I do think that some films are so vile they deserve to be sued and they deserve to be taken down in disgrace. This is one of them.

The basic plot for this film is that a mobster kidnaps a woman, played by Anna-Marie Sieklucka, and then proceeds to torture her sexually and abuse her, yet the film wants you to think that all this is fine and that it is some hot kinky sex. The film goes out of its way to have you not think too much about the darker implications here, or to suggest notions of Stockholm Syndrome, no it abandons any trace of that to try and have this film rival Fifty Shades.

Honestly if Netflix keeps producing trash like this I am done. I hope someone sues them over this.

Overall, Netflix should be ashamed of themselves.

Pros.

None

Cons.

It made me feel angry throughout

It glorifies sexual violence

The characters are awful

It feels like a rip-off of Fifty Shades

It shouldn’t have been made

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The Railway Children Return: Replacing A British Identity With An American One

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Railway Children return and it has never felt more American.

Straight off the bat I don’t mind the fact that this film decided to tackle the racism amongst American troops station in Yorkshire during WWII, however, I will say the way the film choose to use this plot feels incredibly forced in, because there will just be a section about something else and then bang they will bring it back out of nowhere.

This idea of racial identity is just one of the ways in which this film feels more American than quintessentially British like first film. Honestly, this film could be set anywhere, it could be set in rural America if you were willing to give up the backdrop such is its weak identity.

Further in that regard, the only real thing that links this film to the first film is the return of Jenny Agutter, if it was not for her this film could have been any number of other generic WWII movies. I think the older cast certainly did a lot of the heavy lifting here and for the most part they help to keep the film on track. To me John Bradley was the standout of the adult performers giving quite a sweet and well natured performance that makes you warm quickly to his character.

Overall, it is still watchable and above average, however, it is seemingly having an identity crisis.

Pros.

Agutter

Bradly

It is very watchable

Cons.

The racism plotline feels awkwardly forced in

It feels far too American

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The Railway Children: Back When Trains Weren’t Awful

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After their dad, played by Ian Cuthbertson, lands in prison a wealthy family must move up to a small Yorkshire town to start over.

I think this film is a British classic, there is just something so wholesome and sweet to the picture that it is hard not to like. It also feels fundamentally British in a way that is hard to describe, any British readers of this review who have seen this film will know what I mean.

A further thing I enjoyed about this film is how it has quite a gothic and unsettling undercurrent to it, so much so that it feels like at any minute the music could change and the film could become a ghost story. Perhaps this was unique to my viewing and other people will not read the film the same way, but I thought there was very much an off-kilter dream like quality to the film and I quite liked that about it.

I thought the performances across the board were terrific, and due to this you started to see the characters as real people rather than actors playing characters and became lost in that world.

My only complaint about the film would be that the beginning was a little slow and that it took some time to get into its groove, however, once it hit that groove it was a delight.

Overall, a British classic.

Pros.

It is very wholesome

It feels deeply British

The characters are all very easy to warm to

The underlying sinisterness

It’s a lot of fun

Cons.

A slow first act

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