Here Today: Don’t Eat The Lobster

2 /5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A faded comic with early stages of dementia struggles to come to terms with the changes in his life, until he meets a young woman who becomes a powerful friend and companion.

This film will either work for you or not based on how much you like the comedy shtick of Tiffany Haddish. Haddish is quickly becoming a Jack Black type, meaning that she plays the same character in everything. She arguably can’t act and continues on by reusing and regurgitating the same jokes and mannerisms. To go back to my previous comparison, the same can be said of Jack Black though the difference is that he is likeable.

Honestly, though I like Billy Crystal both his and Haddish’s roles could have been played by almost anyone else and it would have provided the same, if not better, results. Neither of the actors truly made the part their own or did anything to impress me.

Furthermore, the storyline seemed very familiar. There have been quite a lot of films about dementia, and other memory conditions, released over the last few years and they are all starting to get quite similar. Case in point there were scenes in this film that I am now struggling to remember whether I saw in this film or one of the others, they are all just so similar.

Overall, with different leads and a more original story this film could have been something, but as it stands it is disappointing on multiple fronts.

Pros.

One or two funny moments

The pacing is fairly okay

Cons.

Neither of the leads are particularly good

Haddish is annoying

The story is overly familiar

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Invitation: Drinking Wine And Confessing To Killing Your Ex Wife, The Standard House Party Activities

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man goes to his ex-wife’s dinner party after years apart. Once there he starts noticing strange behaviour from her and her new guy and becomes increasingly agitated.

I red a piece somewhere that said this film was trying to be like Vinterberg’s Festen, the hubris of that statement is only amplified when watching this deeply mediocre film.

Firstly, this film seems to think it is far deeper than it actually is. I often say that a film feels in-love with itself or perhaps that it has its head up it’s own rear end, both would be applicable to this film. The weighty elements to this film all feel incredibly predictable and played out, everything that happens is written on the wall from the start of the film- the twist is blinding.

Secondly, the film only starts to ‘get good’ around the reveal of the cult twist, which comes in the last fifteen to twenty minutes of the film. The rest of the film is a slog to get through, with the film only really switching between slow and tedious during this time period. Once things start to get crazy at the end it finally becomes somewhat watchable, but by then it is too little too late.

Thirdly and finally, I am a big Logan Marshall-Green fan and think that often he is a terrific character actor. However, here he is given nothing to work with and as such he gives a bland going through the motions sort of performance that will quickly be forgotten about- Upgrade this is not.

Overall, this is everything wrong with try hardy art house horror

Pros.

Logan Marshall-Green is trying

The last twenty minutes are entertaining

Cons.

It is slow

It is pretentious

It is boring

It is no way scary

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Monsters At Work: Welcome To Monsters, Incorporated

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new character who has always dreamed of being a scarer, has to come to terms with the change in direction at Monsters Inc and try and find his place.

So this show is exactly what I was expecting it to be- needless. There is no reason for this show to exist at all, did we really need to see how the business would run once they switched over to laugh power instead of fear? The answers we get are boring and easily guessable.

Furthermore, the new characters, whose names I cannot even remember are also entirely pointless. Clearly they are being written to fill the whole in the show that comes as a result of Mike, Billy Crystal, and Sully, John Goodman, taking a reduced role. Can they even hope to be worthy replacements? If this first episode is anything to go by no.

Finally, I am left to wonder who is this for? If it is for long time fans who loved the film when it came out and have then grown up with it why only have Mike and Sully in such small roles, if this is to attract new people then why not just create a fresh idea altogether. As it stands this show is for no one.

Overall, the only reason it got a 2 is because the animation is good, and the score is suitably jazzy.

Pros.

The animation

The score

Cons.

The new characters are bland and uninteresting

Why does this exist?

It answers questions no one asked

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Bad Batch: Devil’s Deal

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

We leave the story of Hunter and Co, as we instead follow the series return of Hera Syndulla.

This is the first episode of The Bad Batch to barely feature the titular heroes themselves. Instead the gang play second fiddle to the origin story of a young Hera. We see her early experiences with the Empire that would be instrumental in forging her into the Resistance warrior we know and love.

Surprisingly, I thought the change of pace worked quite well for the series, showing that maybe we don’t need to follow the Bad Batch every week. This episode has a lot of stakes, perhaps the most of any episode of the series so far as we see a whole planet on the brink of war, with no doubt the Batch having to come in next week to save the day.

I would say that is the big issue with the episode, though it is nice to see Hera and her family return this whole episode just feels like set up for next weeks’. Furthermore, this idea then suggests that Hera and her family are basically being used as plot devices within the driving heroic narrative of the Bad Batch themselves. I would like to see the situation resolve itself with minimal involvement from our heroes.

Moreover, this episode brought back Crosshair which is always a good thing in my book. The series is at its best when he is around, and they should use him more rather than just ignoring him for vast numbers of episodes at a time.

Overall, an interesting episode but one that ends up feeling like filler.

Pros.

Crosshair

Hera’s Origin

Less involvement from The Bad Batch themselves

Cons.

It feels like filler

The Omega ‘friend’ sequence felt awkward and forced

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Twins: Two Brothers Who Are Perhaps Too Close

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito are twins made in a lab experiment who find each other after years apart.

I understand this film is considered by some to be a classic, but personally I struggle to see it as anything above average.

Yes, Schwarzenegger and DeVito have strong chemistry together on screen and a rather impressive back and forth but that only goes so far. I didn’t find either to be hugely funny, and for the most part the jokes of the film left me cold.

Moreover, there were a number of lines that were troublesome for a plethora of reasons, and yes though some will say ‘oh it was made in a different time’ that is still no excuse. Whilst the icky jokes and comments didn’t put me off the film they were enough to be jarring and to take me out of it.

I would say I preferred DeVito’s character to Schwarzenegger’s as he had numerous funny lines and was written as a more interesting character with layers, as opposed to Schwarzenegger’s who was very one note.

Another issue I had with the film was the wider story. Beyond the twins meeting and then setting out on an adventure together the rest of the story here is a mess. It is one of the most overly convoluted plots I have seen in a while, with twists and a needlessly large amount of side characters stuffed in to try and make the film as confusing as possible.

Overall, though watchable and at times even moderately entertaining there is no way this is a classic.

Pros.

DeVito

A few funny lines

DeVito and Schwarzenegger’s chemistry together

Cons.

It is convoluted

There are too many side characters

Some of the lines are icky

The jokes mostly don’t work

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

No Sudden Move: HBO MAX Are Desperate

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Usually Steven Soderbergh crime films are an interesting gift to audiences, however something is not quite right with this one and it ends up being anything but. I can’t help but feel like people knew this film wasn’t good as it was not marketed at all, anywhere.

For the talented cast involved you would expect something good, however the whole affair is just very mediocre. The acting was all fine no one really blew me away. However, the thing that really stood out to me was how predictable and thrill-less the film was. Everything is very clearly signed posted from the get-go and the story only gets more obvious as it goes along.

The real issue here is that this film does not feel special. It feels like a hundred other crime films that are churned out year after year, there is nothing to make this film standout and ultimately it doesn’t. Watching this it could have been any number of other films. The film is watchable don’t get me wrong, but it is deeply generic.

Overall, I found this film very hard to finish as it was so bland that it almost put me to sleep.

Pros.

It is watchable

It is nice to see Brenden Frasier back on our screens

Cons.

You have seen this film before

It is boring and predictable

There is no passion here it just feels like it was churned out to fill out the catalogue of content for HBO Max.

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fear Street Part Two: What Is More Cliche In Horror Than A Summer Camp

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fear Street saga continues as we go into the past to follow the story of the only person to ever have survived a run in with the witch, and her undead minions.

Though this is a good film in its own right, it is also certainly a step back from the previous film. Maybe the American summer camp has been done to death as a horror location, in fact there is no maybe about it. So seeing it in all its cliched infamy here hurts the film as it lessens the quality and the originality.

Moreover, I found Sadie Sink to be a fine lead. Though she does get more than her fair share of the lime light and a lot of the side characters including her sister are given very little and are deeply underserved as a result. I enjoyed the few scenes we get with Gillian Jacobs she is very talented and brings a lot to the film, hopefully we get to see more of her in the final entry.

In terms of scares this is quite on a par with the first film with each of them having a few good scares here and there without feeling scary as a whole. Honestly, I found the horrific bullying in this film more traumatic than the undead killers. I will assume that was not how the film wanted it to be.

Overall, though this film is good the cracks and crucially the cliches are starting to show through.

Pros.

Gillian Jacobs

Sadie Sink

A few good scares

Cons.

For the most part not scary

The side characters, even those important to the plot, are pushed to the side

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The House Next Door, Meet The Blacks Two: From Surviving The Purge To Fighting Vampires

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After surviving the events of terror night, the Blacks are now beset by vampires next door.

Very rarely is a sequel better than the film that proceeded it, even less so in horror. However, this film is a noticeable improvement over the first.

The first film was very reliant on cliches, racial stereotypes, and trendy internet buzz words. This film, however, actually manages to be funny and to be a worthwhile contribution to the horror comedy genre.

A big part of that is the fact that this time around Karl Black, Mike Epps, is actually likeable. This film makes the character far more sympathetic, so much so that you root for him and want to see him defeat the vampire that is living next door.

Katt Williams as Doctor Mamuwalde, the vampire, is easily the best thing about this film. Williams is a scene stealer and makes for a terrific villain. I would like to see him return in some capacity again if they make a third film as he really adds something to proceedings.

However, the main reason this film is better than the first is because it is funnier. Yes, this film made me laugh several times throughout and it made me smile more than that. Though humour may be subjective I think it is very unlikely someone would find the first film funnier than this one.

Overall, a successful sequel that is much more fun to watch than its predecessor.

Pros.

Williams

The characters are far more likeable

The ending and set up for further mystical adventures

Cons.

Other than Karl the rest of the family are side-lined

Still quite cliched and lazy at times

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fifty Shades Of Black: Marlon Wayans Needs To Retire

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A parody of Fifty Shades Of Gray.

This film is one of the worst I’ve seen in a while and shows just how far Marlon Wayans has fallen.

Firstly not only is it not funny all of the jokes are the same and are equally painful. The film reads like it was written by a teenager and relies on gross out humour and weak physical comedy to try and get a cheap laugh out of the audience, but even still it fails.

Secondly, this film has a storyline, or should I say a whole character whose soul purpose is to date rape his friend. Yes, that’s right the female leads best friend spends the whole film trying to force her into sex in some fashion. Sick and wrong, and worst of all the film thinks this is funny. Someone wants to have a look into the private goings on of the people who made this film if they think sexual assault is funny.

Thirdly, and this is something the film can be proud of, the film is so bad it makes the Fifty Shades movies better. I never thought I would end up saying that about a film but sadly it applies here, it is just so awful that even those films look better by comparison.

Overall, not only is this film trash those who made it should be made to apologies.

Pros.

It makes Fifty Shades, and its sequels look like fine cinema

Cons

It makes a joke out of sexual assault

It is boring

It tries too hard to be edgy

It is not funny

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Werewolves Within: A Property Deal Gone Bad

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people in a small town get trapped during a werewolf attack.

Once this film gets going, which admittedly takes a while, and the werewolf begins to actually play a large role in the story this film really takes off- sadly that is about ten minutes from the end.

It has been a while since we had a truly good werewolf film, maybe WolfCop was the last good one but even that was a while ago now. As such I had a lot riding on this in terms of excitement and it struggled to deliver. The final ten minutes of werewolf goodness almost make all of the boring build up worth it.

Therein lies the problem with this film and why it can get no higher, it spends a long time introducing you to basically pointless characters who become werewolf chow and tries to make you care about these characters and the mystery of who is the werewolf. In both of these aims the film fails. I only cared about Finn, Sam Richardson, and Cecily, Milana Vayntrub, the rest of the characters just faded to the background. This film wastes too much time getting to the moments you actually want to see.

The final fight is fun to watch and is certainly a highpoint for the film.

Finally, this is a comedy horror film, but really it is neither. It is not scary nor is it funny. So I ask you what is it?

Overall, a let down that only has a very brief sequence of werewolf goodness

Pros.

Richardson

Vayntrub

The werewolf fight at the end

Cons.

It is not funny

It is not scary

It spends too long with pointless side characters

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer