Chick Fight: Alec Baldwin Is The Drunk Fighting Instructor We All Need In Our Lives

Chick Fight is an action comedy directed by Paul Leyden. The plot follows Anna (Malin Akerman), a woman who’s life is going to the dogs, she is on the verge of being evicted, she can’t find a job and her love life is non-existent. However, one day she walks into an underground women’s fight club and a new chapter in her life begins.

This film is fine, nothing more nothing less. It is nothing that you haven’t seen before and of those films most are better. However, I also would not call this film bad, it is solidly watchable and some of the supporting performances are quite good.

With that in mind, I give props to Bella Throne for being quite a good antagonist here, you hate her, but at the same time you feel for her a little bit; her and Akerman have some entertaining scenes together. Alec Baldwin as Anna’s coach/trainer is also quite good, he plays the boozy old man who lives at the beach well, and I am really digging this phase of Baldwin’s career; he is also great in Pixie.

Akerman herself is a passable lead, though her role could be played by literally anyone.

Overall, it is an easy watch though it is a touch generic. Watch if you can’t find anything better.

Pros.

Throne and Baldwin

A few funny moments

It is very watchable

Cons.

Akerman doesn’t do much

It is very generic

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Phenomena: Meet The Newest And Youngest Member Of The Avengers

Phenomena is an Italian horror film directed by Dario Argento. The plot sees a young American girl Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly), go to a Swiss boarding school to receive an education and be out of her parent’s hair. However, once she arrives she notices that she has a strange relationship with insects, and that said relationship might be the key to solving a string of murders that is happening on campus.

Why can’t Argento make a film that does not have a serial killer or group of serial killers (Suspiria) as the main antagonist? Yes, I know obviously he must have at some point in his career, but of the film’s I’ve watched it is certainly a repeated motif and one that is starting to get tiresome.

I enjoyed the more abstract ideas here; I wish we have dived deeper into Jennifer’s powers and how and why they came out. There is a wonderfully off kilter strangeness to the whole film that is very difficult to describe but it really sticks with you after the film.

I thought the slasher elements were probably the weakest part of the film, though I did enjoy the final fight scene. It reminded me very much of Mrs Voorhees in Friday The 13^th I thought it was well done, tense and effective; the face melting scene stayed in my head for a while after the film, the power of practical effects.

Overall, a strange film in a lot of ways, however that strangeness makes it what it is. Good, but I do wish Argento would stop making films about serial killers.

Pros.

The strangeness

The insect, mystical stuff

The ending

Jennifer Connelly

Cons.

The killer stuff for the most part of boring

It had pacing issues and was far too long

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

A Fantastic Fear Of Everything: You Never Know Who Might Be Trying To Kill You, Look Over Your Shoulder

A Fantastic Fear Of Everything is a British horror comedy film directed by Crispian Mills. We follow Jack (Simon Pegg), a children’s writer whose life slips out of control when he begins work on his latest book, Decades Of Death a history of Victorian era serial killers, as Jack researches deeper and deeper he becomes ever more frightened and ever more sure someone is trying to kill him.

This is an underrated gem. This has been on my radar for some time but for one reason or another I never ended up seeing it, and now having seen it I know how much of a mistake that was.

This film perfectly merges the horror and the comedy genre together, there are a lot of horror comedies that end up favouring one over the other whereas this does both very well There is an off kilter atmosphere that underpins the whole film, nothing ever feels quite right and there seems to be something sinister just beneath the surface; I left the film quite unsettled. However, there are also sections of the film that are quite funny and amusing, however even these sections I would not call light.

My favourite thing about this film is how in love with the gothic and the macabre it is, from audio cues to certain framing and lighting choices this film feels like it could have been made by Hammer 70 years ago, though I doubt most of the cast would have been alive then.

Overall, if you are a fan of horror then you owe it to yourself to watch this film

Pros.

The off-beat and uncomfortable atmosphere

The comedy

Pegg plays it just right

The plot and the nods to classic horror

Cons

It won’t be to all tastes

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4, Dream Master: Freddy Is A Kung Fu Master

Nightmare On Elm Street 4: Dream Master is a slasher horror film directed by Renny Harlin. The plot this time sees Freddy find a way to bring himself back to life, after seemingly being killed in the last film. He once again goes after the remainder of the Elm Street children, to strong degrees of success, and then sets his sights on new prey.

My first thoughts about this film is that it is odd that Kristen is no longer played by the same actor from the last film (Patricia Arquette), and is now re-cast younger for some reason despite this film supposedly being set after the third film. I understand they probably couldn’t afford her, but if that is the case why bring back the character at all?

The kills were so so this time around, which is not what you want to hear from a slasher film. There were a couple of funny and or well-done ones such as the water bed and the dojo fight scene. The rest, however, were fairly generic and fade almost immediately from memory. The final fight was even more forgettable than that, and it all hinged on some strange nursey rhyme that was not set up, and despite him quoting it (implying he knew it), somehow served as Freddy’s death which makes very little sense.

Overall, other than a few inspired deaths this was a forgettable follow up that fails to live up to Dream Warriors in almost every way.

Pros.

Campy slasher fun

It is very watchable

A few good deaths

Cons.

Most of the deaths are generic

The final battle doesn’t make sense

Why bring back Kristen at all?

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Girl: Never Get Between A Girl And Her Hatchet, Good Advise For Life

Girl is a thriller film directed by Chad Faust. The plot sees a girl (Bella Throne), return home to find and kill her abusive father, however, once she returns home she finds him already dead and is filled with mixed emotions. Shortly there after she decides to investigate who killed him.

So, I have been on some what of a Bella Throne binge this week, I also have a review of Chick Fight coming up. I went from knowing next to nothing about her, to being intrigued by her talent for conveying real, raw emotion so well as this film shows. It is safe to say I am a convert now.

Throne owns this film, and anchors it well. Her character is conflicted, and we can see that in Throne’s performance we can see that unknowing, that need for answers. Throne is also boosted by a strong supporting from Mickey Rourke, who plays the town sheriff serving as the antagonist for the film. Rourke is genuinely quiet menacing here and plays the villain with some form of twisted glee; this makes for a number of strong scenes between him and Throne.

There are some twists and turns in the plot in the later stage, that are strangely just blurted out in the early part of the film, but hey maybe the film thinks that you and I didn’t notice that. Regardless, when the twist does come it is delivered and executed with proper emotional weight and you do feel something, the final fifteen minutes is when this film is at its prime.

Overall, one I think a lot of people will overlook, but you need to check this one out it is a very good, very well acted, intriguing thriller.

Pros.

Throne

Rourke

The twist

The tension and the maliciousness of Rourke’s performance

Cons.

Blurting out the reveal half an hour into the film

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bill: The Untold Story Of Shakespeare, When He Became A Spy

Bill is a historical comedy film directed by Richard Bracewell. The plot revolves around the early days of William Shakespeare (Matthew Baynton), as he tries to make it as a playwright. There is also a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth 1^st (Helen McCrory), that Shakespeare gets wrapped up in and has to prevent.

The comedy here is a little more adult, than I would expect from the PG certificate. Right from the off I was surprised about the number of sex jokes in there, I don’t remember them being in Horrible Histories, that said I am not complaining about this fact I actually found it rather amusing and the film made me laugh several times.

The Horrible Histories trope are all put well to use here. Though I would say Martha Howe-Douglas was relegated to nothing more than the supporting wife role and I would have liked to see her have a larger and more important part, or really be able to take part in the fun assassination plotline.

Furthermore, though the film is fun, and a lot of that fun does originate from the narrative, it is definitely overstuffed. The film tries to do too many things, it tries to be a Shakespeare origin story of sorts, it tries to tell this international spy game intrigue plot line, and a few other odd twists and turns as well. Now I can’t fault there ambition with making the film so densely packed, but I can fault there execution as none of the elements came together in the way they should, and part of the film even felt a bit boring.

Pros.

It’s funny

It’s fun

The cast are great

Cons.

Howe-Douglas deserved more to do

There was far too much going in a narrative sense

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Never Be Done, The Richard Glen Lett Story: A True Inspiration

Never Be Done: The Richard Glen Lett Story is a Canadian documentary film based on real events. The plot follows the fall of one of Canada’s most beloved comics at the hands of drug and alcohol abuse, and also how he managed to come back from his darkest point and turn his life around.

Inspiring, is a word that gets tossed around a lot. Often people use it either hyperbolic-ally or falsely when talking about feel good films they have seen, as few films are truly inspiring; though I suppose different films are inspiring to different people. However, this is one of the few films I would truly use that word to describe.

This film is a roller-coaster of emotions we go from dizzying heights, to soul crushing lows and all the while we follow this man and his struggle. The film does not shy away from showing the unpleasant side of addiction, in fact it displays it in all its infamy and for that I applaud it. Due to this we form a real bond with Richard as well feel like we are right there along with him.

I have to say this film brought me close to tears a number of times, it is not for the light of heart, or the easy to tears as there are some really harrowing moments here. The tears, I believe are proof of how much you end up caring about this man and his struggles.

Overall, this is a beautifully made film that is honest and raw and leaves you with a lot to consider afterwards.

Pros.

The beautiful message

The journey

The connection we form

The emotional impact

It is not afraid to show the dark side of addiction

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

My Christmas Inn: How Charming Is Small Town America? Really?

My Christmas Inn is a Christmas based romantic comedy directed by Peter Sullivan. The plot sees big city advertising executive Jen (Tia Mowry- Hardrict), head to a small Alaskan town to inherit her Great-Aunt’s inn. Naturally whilst there she falls in love and there is some needless conflict that resolves itself just in time for Christmas.

This is the last of the low rent Netflix-Hallmark made for TV Christmas romantic comedies that I will be reviewing. As I was writing that plot description I was getting flashbacks to many other similar holiday rom coms that I have reviewed recently, so with that in mind I am going to call it quits on this front after this review is done.

There is nothing good or bad about this film it is just incredibly bland. It is clear no care goes into these films and it seems like they have a check list of things to include. This includes the forced romance that feels incredibly unnatural and neither actor has any warmth even slightly towards the other let alone chemistry. As well as a needless crisis that could easily be resolved and is inserted into the film to try and give it some stakes, which it then fails at doing anything with.

Overall, there is nothing redeeming about this film. It can’t even be bold and bad it is just cookie cutter generic to fit in line with hundreds of other bland boring holiday romantic comedies, stay far away from this one.

Pros.

It is watchable, if tedious is your thing

Cons.

The romance doesn’t work

The feel-good elements don’t work

All of the actors involved in this can’t act

The drama feels shoehorned in

It will put you to sleep, it is borderline unwatchable

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Critters: Never Trust 80’s Pop Icons, They Are Never Who They Claim To Be

Critters is a science fiction horror film Stephen Herek. The plot sees furry alien invaders from another planet arrive on Earth, in small town America of course, and start wreaking havoc. It is down to the efforts of one plucky family, a collection of towns people and two alien bounty hunters to stop them.

So the writers of this film claim that the ideas for it originated well before Gremlins, and that any claim that Critters is inspired by Gremlins are inherently false. While I can’t claim knowledge on the subject I have to say while watching I couldn’t help but be reminded of Gremlins as the two films are very similar in a number of ways.

I enjoyed that this film was not afraid to embrace the campiness of the science fiction horror premise with the Critters themselves being somewhat tongue in cheek often cracking wise. It reminded of many B movies I have seen; it is strange, and it knows it and displays it proudly.

The premise is generic, it is your standard alien invader/ or monster takes over a town narrative that is no stranger to creature features. However, the plot takes a back seat here to the fun absurdity of the film as a whole. It is a blast to watch.

Overall, if you want a campy B movie like good time then this will please you. Don’t go in expecting too much and you will be pleasantly surprised.

Pros.

It is fun

I enjoyed the tongue in cheek parts

I liked that it embraced its inner freak

Cons.

The plot is weak, and you have seen it before

The acting is very meh

3/5

Reviewed by Luke