Johnny English Reborn: Forget Wick, Hunt, Reacher, Bourne and Eggsy, This Is Bond’s Real Competition

Johnny English Reborn is a comedy spy film directed by Oliver Parker. The plot sees international super spy Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson), come back from disgrace to find the world at the mercy of mysterious evil organisation Vortex, naturally he is the only man who can stop them.

In all honesty this film didn’t need to be made, the first Johnny English works as a perfectly fun standalone adventure, but as the rules of the industry go if something makes a little bit of a profit it must be mined for all it is worth. There is little new here that you haven’t seen before, nor is there any character development or plot intrigue to make it worth your time.

Atkinson is fine here, but again it is nothing you haven’t seen in the previous film. The real star of the show here is Agent Tucker (Daniel Kaluuya), who shines despite only being a glorified side kick. Him and Atkinson have a strong repour that is fun to watch.

The comedy didn’t really do much for me, again it was a retread and a rehash. It was watchable, but it never made me laugh or even smile really, but comedy is subjective. The plot feels like clutching at straws and the big-name actors who are brought in to try and sell more seats, don’t add all that much.

Overall, a deeply needless sequel, that only serves to stretch the jokes and the characters further- breaking both in the process.

Pros.

Daniel Kaluuya

It is very watchable

Cons.

It does not justify its existence

It isn’t funny

The new characters, other than Kaluuya’s Tucker, add nothing

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Locke: An Entire Film Of A Man Sat In A Car Having Phone Conversations

Locke is a drama film directed by Steven Knight. The plot sees Ivan Locke (Tom Hardy), driving to the birth of his child. However, as he does this his life falls apart around him, as the child is not with his wife and he is blowing off work for the birth.

So, if anyone ever questions Tom Hardy’s acting credentials tell them to go and watch this film, it is slightly under an hour and a half of a man sat in his car talking to people on the phone. Though that might not sound like much the emotional journey we go on, is indescribable.

Once again through very subtle facial acting Hardy is able to communicate such a wide array of emotions. We can see Ivan as a character slowly start to break down as the film goes on when he realises how severe the consequences of his actions are going to be. All this is not said, but it is shown through Hardy’s performance.

I especially enjoyed Ivan’s conversations with his dead father, who he talks to as the journey progresses. In these instances Hardy is so raw and so passionate that you can’t help but be enthralled by him.

The supporting cast who he talks to over the phone give good enough performances, but this is Hardy’ film through and through.

Overall, a magnificent film and a tour de force performance from Hardy, highlighting the fact that he is one of the best character actors of these modern times.

Pros.

Tom Hardy’s performance, that is all five pros

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Venom: Two Poorly Rendered CGI Models Ramming Into One Another

Venom is a superhero action film directed by Ruben Fleischer. The plot follows disgraced reporter Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy), as he comes into contact with the extra-terrestrial symbiote called Venom. The two team up to save the world and eat some people.

The best thing about this film is the awkward charm of Tom Hardy’s performance. The man can do a lot with very little and through his facial expressions we get a got sense of who Eddie is before we have even spent much time with him, he is a very versatile performer. I have heard a lot of people criticising Hardy’s accent on this one, and I have to say when I first heard it I thought it was bad too, but as the film went on it felt more and more natural. The rest of the cast’s accents are another story, they ranged from unconvincing to bad.

The CGI here wasn’t great, the bike chase showcase everything wrong with it. However, I thought when Brock turned into Venom that looked okay, not great but better. I thought a lot of the action felt very flat, this is a criticism of not just this film but also a lot of superhero films, a lot of the time it was just one CGI fight after another, and it gets a bit samey after a while.

I enjoyed the ‘buddy cop’ relationship between Brock and Venom and I thought the two had great chemistry together, especially towards the end and would like to see it developed further in future films.

Overall, it is better than average, but an overreliance on poor CGI action scenes ended up hurting the film in a big way, Hardy’s performance is able to improve the film as a whole, but not enough to make it good.

Pros.

Tom Hardy’s performance

The buddy cop relationship between Brock and Venom

She-Venom tease

Cons.

The bad CGI

The battle at the end felt generic and been there done that

The accents aren’t good.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Murder On The Orient Express: Mustachioed Man Sets Aside Dickens To Solve A Murder

Murder On The Orient Express is a drama mystery film directed by Kenneth Branagh, who also stars as Hercule Poirot. The plot revolves around a murder on the titular Orient Express that forces famed detective Poirot to abandon his holiday and take action.

I have seen this film several times now, with last night being the most recent, and I have to say this is a tremendous film. The problem with these kind of films is that once you know who the killer is, the fun isn’t there anymore, so it has no rewatch value. This I can say with confidence does not suffer from that problem and is incredibly entertaining even when you have seen it as many times as I have.

Branagh gives a tour de force performance and steals the entire film, no one else can compete with him on the acting front. That I would say is the great issue with this film, the cast outside of Branagh is made up of some incredibly talented people, but because there are a lot of them, none of them really shine. The cast could have done with being thinned out a bit.

The emotion in this film, especially around the big reveal, feels pitch perfect. It hits you hard and square in the chest and you question what right is in this situation just like Poirot does.

Overall, a very fun murder mystery film with a great performance from Branagh.

Pros.

Branagh

The mystery

How easily rewatchable it is

The emotion and the reveal

Cons.

Wasting a strong supporting cast

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Superman, Man Of Tomorrow: A Superman Story With No Martha Moment

Superman Man Of Tomorrow is an animated superhero film directed by Chris Palmer. The plot follows Clark Kent (Darren Criss), in his early days as he is settling into his Superman identity. This super powered coming of age story is capped off by a wild show down with Lobo (Ryan Hurst), and a mad dash to defeat Parasite (Brett Dalton), before he takes over the world.

I had heard good things about the animated Superman films, so despite the fact that I am more of a Batman person I decided to check this out. I have to say it was nothing I haven’t seen before, it was yet another film showing the early life of Clark Kent, maybe it was a different take on it? I don’t think it was a different take personally, I just think it was yet another boring origin story.

The voice cast was strong with Zachary Quinton as Lex Luthor being the standout, the rest were serviceable if not memorable. I found the dialogue to be quite stilted personally, with some of it reading like poor fan fiction; in fact I think I have read stronger Supes fan fiction before.

Overall, much more boring than it should be, it did nothing for me and other than Zachary Quinton, I thought it was incredibly average standard fare.

Pros.

Zachary Quinton

Cons

Yet another take on young Superman

The voice cast were serviceable if not great

A lot of it boiled down to two super powered beings just punching each other for a long period of time

It was incredibly average

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Curse Of Chucky: Stop Beating A Dead Horse!

Curse Of Chucky is a horror film directed by Don Mancini. It is yet another sequel in the Child’s Play series, this time around Chucky (Brad Dourif), stalks a family from his past killing them one by one seemingly because he wants to take care of a few lose ends from his past.

For the most part this is just yet another copy and paste Chucky movie, the family start out unaware of the doll, the kids befriends the doll, people start dying, more people become aware of the doll, the show down, the end. They are play out pretty much the same, with the exception of Seed and Bride, and this is no different. It is dull and predictable.

What makes this film especially bad is Chucky himself. He tries to be menacing a lot more in this film, they don’t really give him a lot of jokes or one liners and he is trying to be scary. The reason this is dumb, is because the premise and Chucky himself are inherently silly, so they don’t work when presented otherwise. Annabelle in those movies was never presented as a silly kind of campy character, Chucky on the other hand was, that is the problem.

My other issue with Chucky in this film is the way he looks. For the first half of the film, Chucky looks awful, the actual doll is horrible to look at and looks nothing like classic Chucky. When I first put the film on and saw him looking like that I am not going to lie to you I was tempted to turn it off, however midway through the situation is rectified and the whole thing just feels pointless; the same can be said of the film generally.

Overall, yet another trashy horror movie sequel.

Pros.

I enjoyed seeing the Bride at the end

The flashback scenes were interesting

Cons.

The way the doll looked for the first 45 minutes

The fact they try and make Chucky Scary

I have seen this film before so many times, even though this was my first viewing

It was deeply dumb and poorly thought through.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Get Duked: DJ Beatroot Takes On The British Aristocracy

Get Ducked is a British black comedy film directed by Ninian Doff. The plot follows a group of boys as they’re doing their Duke of Edinburgh award in the Scottish highlands, the twist of course is that they’re being chased by someone who is dressed as the real Duke Of Edinburgh who seems intent on hunting them down and killing them all.

So, as a comedy film I feel mixed about this. One the one hand some of the jokes feel quite cringe, especially all the Rap based jokes, they didn’t do anything for me. However, as I always say humour is subjective. On the other hand there were a few good jokes that did make me laugh out loud, I enjoyed the Alice Lowe cameo, and the rabbit poo induced battle at the end.

Where this film shines is as a rather extreme take on social commentary. The classist message of the film is clear from the off, the film does not mince words in this regard and is very straight forward and direct about it. A Duke (Eddie Izzard) hunting down a group of working-class Scottish boys calling them vermin, is very in your face.

Usual I don’t like overt political messages, but I found the speech at the end about how these boys can never hope to have the good life and no matter how hard they work the system will always be against them, to be quite moving and poignant and work on multiple levels.

Overall, a hidden gem that you need to see. A cult classic in the making.

Pros.

The message

The horror and the tension

Alice Lowe

The comedy that worked

Cons.

The comedy that didn’t work.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Emperor’s New Groove: A Hidden Gem Of Disney

The Emperors New Groove is an animated family film directed by Mark Dindal. The plot sees Emperor Kuzco (David Spade), be turned into a llama in order for villains to try and usurp this throne. The mighty Emperor must team up with a village peasant (John Goodman), in order to reclaim his birth right.

So despite this film coming out long after the golden years of Disney Animation, I think that this is one of the best Disney films possibly ever, but certainly of the early 2000’s.

The comedy and the charm are what really make this for me. I am a big David Spade fan and usually find him quite amusing, but I enjoyed how this film’s humour played off his personality as was often quite self-deprecating. I thought the choices of narration that breaks the fourth wall was also quite an inspired idea, one that makes the whole film feel more engaging.

I enjoyed the very distinct feel of this film and how because of the unique colour pallet and style it felt different from all the other Disney animated films. A film having a strong personality is always a good thing.

The supporting voice cast also do a good job, with Goodman and veteran Patrick Warburton being the standouts. There characters both feels very well realised, which makes them far more compelling.

Overall, an often-overlooked Disney gem.

Pros.

The unique feel and style

David Spade for the most part

The voice cast as a whole

The comedy

It is very watchable

Cons.

Spade does get a bit annoying at times

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Peninsula: The Ruins Of A Good Idea

Peninsula is a South Korean Horror film directed by Sang-ho Yeon which serves as a sequel to Train To Busan. The plot this time around see a group of people sent back into South Korea in an effort to retrieve a truck full of money, however once they arrive they realise that zombies aren’t the only thing they need to worry about.

This film is not a horror film, that is a miscategorisation, there is nothing scary about this film even slightly; this is an action film. Gone are the tense claustrophobic moments of the first film, in are car chases and shooting your way through hordes of the undead, and unsurprisingly this takes all of the tension out of the film

This is only made worse by the fact that this film also tries to add jokes into the mix here and there, thankfully sparingly. Which again serve to ruin any kind of tension and drastically change the tone of the film.

Despite this, the film is still worth a watch the world of these films is interesting and this builds on that and adds new wrinkles. Furthermore the action elements aren’t bad, they were just not what I was expecting from a horror film, there are a few good action moments scattered throughout, a few of these reminded me of The Raid, though not nearly so well done.

Overall, a failure of a horror film, but a surprisingly watchable action film. Go in with low expectations and knowing the true genre and there is something to like about this film.

Pros.

Some cool action moments

More world building

Cons.

It is not scary

The action and the awful comedy take away any sense of tension

The CGI is noticeably worse

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Noelle: Disney Plus Gets A Big Steaming Lump Of Coal

Noelle is a family friendly Christmas movie directed by Marc Lawrence. The film follows Noelle (Anna Kendrick), who must leave the North Pole and venture out into our world to try and find her brother Nick (Bill Hader), who has fled after a freak out about becoming the new Santa Claus.

This is wholesome enough Christmas fare, it won’t be a new favourite by any means, but it is nice turn your brain off and watch junk food.

The writing is fairly weak, all the twists and turns are telegraphed a mile out, the big reveal that maybe it should be Noelle who becomes the new Santa Claus is blindingly obvious from half an hour into the film. The idea that we should have a female Santa Claus also doesn’t feel novel anymore, as I am sure it has been done before.

The humour is okay, there are no laughs to be had, but a few moments that will make you smile. I found the biggest issue with this film in that department was the repetition of jokes, the joke that every kid wanted an iPad for Christmas wasn’t funny to begin with and got progressively less so as it was overused. Repeating the joke doesn’t make it funny. Also the fact that kids want an iPad for Christmas feels like product placement that is about ten years out of date; you could be forgiven for not realising that this film came out in 2019.

The best thing about this film is Kendrick. Her performance is very warm and wholesome, and that vibe is contagious and spreads to the rest of the film.

Overall, a fun single use Christmas film that has many issues that you will forget about as soon as it is over.

Pros.

Anna Kendrick

The general wholesomeness

Cons

The humour

The obvious twists

The weird out of date product placement

2/5

Reviewed by Luke