The 355: Men Are Bad And Simon Kinberg Is A Hack

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of female spies must come together to get a McGuffin and beat up some men folk.

Until the final ten minutes this film is below average but passably watchable if you have nothing better to do, and then the lecture starts and the film drops down even further. When I say a lecture I am referring to Jessica Chastain’s Mace going on a long ambling rant to the camera about how men use woman, but how times are changing and how they are going to fight back, a message that feels both overtly hostile to a large portion of the target audience for this film as well as one that feels far too late. However, this isn’t the only questionable thing this film does in regard to gender as it also has all of the villains in the film be men, and those that aren’t get killed off, once again a not so subtle message and one that won’t score this film any points at all.

If all that isn’t enough to make you dislike this film it then also sneaks in a bit of sucking up to the Chinese regime, in order to open in China of course. There is a scene in the film when this all powerful McGuffin needs to be handed over to someone who will keep it safe and out of nefarious hands, so Mace gives it to a Chinese agent…….. Really? Was this some sort of meta joke?…….. Really?

I also think Jessica Chastain is deeply miscast here. Unlike the rest of the ensemble who actually do a good job Chastain sticks out for all the wrong reasons. In many ways her character reads like how America sees itself around the world dominant and in charge, but to everyone else entitled, self-involved and driven more by their own ego than what they should find right and wrong. Chastain’s character was honestly charmless and is probably the thing that sinks this film.

The other minor issues with this film are that it is terribly paced and becomes boring somewhere around the end of act I, furthermore the plot about scary internet hacking devices screams of being written by someone who doesn’t understand the internet or know anything about it.

Overall, this film is trash and you should avoid it at all costs.

Pros.

Cruz, Nyong’o, Kruger

Cons.

Evil men/ forcing its agenda down your throats

Pandering to China

Chastain

The pacing/ fear of the internet

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Coming Home In The Dark: In Contention For My Worst Film Of The Year

0/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family is attacked by a duo of deranged men.

What was the need for this film? What did it address that hasn’t already been done so better before? Honestly as I am sat here writing this review after having seen it, I struggle to answer either question. There is nothing wrong with a film being gritty when it is in service of something, but here it seems to be done for nothing more than shock value.

A lot of people don’t like films like Hostel as they feel they are over the top, needless and handled in bad taste, well personally I like the Hostel films well enough but I can see all those complaints being true here of this film. It was deeply unpleasant to watch and even more so to finish, it was so bleak, depressing and needless that honestly I struggled to finish it.

I think the thing that makes everything worse is how incredibly predictable it all is. There truly are no surprises here, you know exactly where this film is going throughout, you don’t want it to go there but rather predictably it does and it is unpleasant for doing so.

Overall, this is one of the hardest films I have ever had to sit through.

Pros.

Really nothing

Cons.

It is bleak and depressing

It feels done in bad taste and for shock value

It is incredibly predictable

It has major pacing issues

It is a chore to watch

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Pusher III: Hosting A Party Is More Stressful Than Running A Drug Empire

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Refn concludes his Pusher trilogy with a day in the life of Milo, played by Zlatko Buric, the drug lord from the first film.

Though I still enjoyed this film I thought it was the most needless of the trilogy and could see why Refn didn’t really want to make sequels, this one felt the most stagnate and time killy. Whilst the other films had an ever increasing sense of tension and claustrophobia this film feels decidedly smaller in scale and in stakes. Though for the most part this leads the film to feel less enthralling it also gives us a more intimate look at this character and their mentality which is nice and leads to a number of good character moments.

I think Buric does a good job here and keeps the film trucking along nicely, of the series characters I feel like he was the only one other than the two already used interesting enough to justify there own film and it was intriguing to see his own little slice of the underworld.

I would say this film struggled with its pace as unlike the others it did have moments that drastically slowed down and in doing so lost your attention.

Overall, a good but not great ending to the trilogy.

Pros.

Buric

The intimacy

A deeper look at Milo’s slice of the underworld

Cons.

Pacing issues

Weaker stakes

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Pusher II: Sometimes One Just Needs To Run Away

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The second film in the Pusher series follows Tonny, played by Mads Mikkelsen, as he gets out of prison and tries to return to his former life of crime.

Mikkelsen is magnificent here as always, as we see his Tonny grow over the course of the film, and feel the claustrophobic metaphorical walls of Tonny’s life closing in around him trapping him into a cycle of criminality and abuse. Honestly, the final sequence of the film when Tonny finally turns on his gangster father, played by Leif Sylvester, and runs away with his baby is incredibly powerful and a lot of the sequence is incredibly reminiscent of Refn’s later film Drive.

I enjoyed the return to the Danish underworld and thought there was still a lot here to be mined and explored. I liked the juxtaposition of having Tonny not fit into this world at all, though not through a lack of wanting to. Though in many ways the character is morally repugnant Mikkelsen plays him with such a sense of weary charm and desperation that you can’t help but like him. The supporting cast all have moments to shine here, but this is very much Mikkelsen’s film.

Overall, an incredibly strong film.

Pros.

Mikkelsen

The world

The ending

The emotion and the stakes

Cons.

It feels a little rushed at times

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Cherry: Try As He Might Tom Holland Cannot Pull Off Mature Roles

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Tom Holland tries to prove that he is a serious actor and that he can play mature parts as well as Spider-Man, a spoiler for you he can’t.

I feel bad for Holland I really do; he has tried hard to throw off his youthful boyish family appeal, but try as he might he just can’t seem to do it. Despite many saying things to the extent of ‘oh this is going to be an Oscar worthy performance’ or ‘oh you have never seen Holland like this’, it still feels like a student made fan film wherein you have to cast whoever will be in the film for the role even if they don’t fit the part. As Holland really doesn’t fit the part at all.

This film tries to make bold comments about society and life, with Holland’s character going through the army, drug addiction and the criminal underworld. However, it all feels paper thin and like a teen trying to be edgy and dark to show how mature they are, it all feels very try hardy.

Moreover, there is no reason for this film to be on for as long as it is. Honestly this film could be half the time and would probably be better for it, it drags on and on and feels as though it is trying to bait you into turning it off: and you battle with that you really do.

Overall, the Russo’s and Holland should stick to making Marvel films.

Pros.

Holland is really trying and you can feel that sadly it just doesn’t work

Cons.

It is trying way too hard to be edgy

It philosophies are weak

Holland is badly miscast

It has awful pacing issues

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Encounter: The Strangest Father Son Roadtrip Ever

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Malik Khan, played by Riz Ahmed, a decorated marine must go on a daring rescue mission to save his sons from an otherworldly threat, however as the film progresses the alien threat seems to become more and more farfetched and Malik’s own traumas and fractured mental state start to become the real threat.

I thought this was easily one of the best film’s I have seen in a while. Ahmed was really good and sold both the crazed paranoia as well as the love for his sons really well, you both empathised with his character as well as felt slightly threatened by him. I thought Ahmed balanced both of these sides of his character really well and kept him complexed and nuanced.

The emotion in this film is powerful and resonant. Especially towards the end of the film when Malik starts to realise what he has done it breaks your heart, I would have liked the ending to be a bit more polysemic however, I do think there is some wiggle room for what if Malik was actually right all along.

Overall, a compelling film boosted by a magnificent performance from Riz Ahmed.

Pros.

Ahmed

The emotion

The threat

The twist

Cons.

The ending is a little too clear cut for my taste

They wasted Octavia Spencer

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Zeroes And Ones: What Happens When One Successful Film Goes To Your Head

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Honestly the plot was fairly indecipherable, so I will just say a commentary on covid, the war on terror and the relationship between brothers?

I really enjoyed The King Of New York however everything else that Abel Ferrara has done since has left me cold, this is no exception.

So the big and obvious issue here is after watching it I have no idea what this film is supposed to be about, that is a pretty big red flag. It seems like scenes are just randomly stitched together with a throwaway artsy scene crammed in-between for good measure, all leading to nowhere of course. Trying to follow the narrative of this film will simply leave you with a headache. To me it seems like Ferrara is just trading on the goodwill he has from earlier projects to make films like this which most likely won’t jive with a lot of those watching it.

The best thing about this film is the performance from Ethan Hawke who is really going for it. Hawke plays two brothers; both are quite different so Hawke has to deliver two distinct performances which he does with gusto. Hawke, much like Dafoe in Ferrara’s other recent work is the saving grace.

Overall, this film is a confused mess that clearly thinks of itself as far better than it actually is.

Pros.

Hawke

A few interesting visuals

Cons.

There is no narrative

It feels pretentious

Pacing issues galore

It is not as insightful as it again thinks it is and is instead dull

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Dangerous: Lacking The Charm Of His Father

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A dangerous young man, played by Scott Eastward, goes on a killing spree after the death of his brother.

I just want to preface this piece by stating nice and clearly that you can like someone as an actor in films without condoning their real life actions, yes I am talking about Mel Gibson, I thought that was a fairly self-explanatory concept but some out there think it makes one a hypocrite- ah well.

I think Scott Eastward is going to struggle to ever be anything even remotely close to what his dad was/is in the action genre. He does not have his dad’s charisma in any way and frankly I just don’t think he is a good actor, he seems ill-suited to any role he is cast in, but hey nepotism so he keeps getting work.

On the whole I thought this was an incredibly cheesy, not in a good way, and generic action film. All of the characters have the depth of a shallow puddle and felt entirely made out of cliches, with Famke Janssen probably getting it the worst: nearly every line that comes out of her mouth is groan worthy here.

The one redeeming factor of the film is the performance from Mel Gibson who is being wonderfully odd and either intentionally or unintentionally hilarious. The film picks up whenever he comes back on screen.

Overall, this one is destined for the bottom of the bargain bin.

Pros.

Mel Gibson being strange

It is short

Cons.

Eastwood

It is generic

The dialogue is generally terrible

It is dull

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The Uninvited: Stop Hating The Perceived Homewrecker, She’s Not Done Anything

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film follows a young woman, played by Emily Browning, who has recently come out of a mental institution returning home again. However, after she arrives she becomes more and more concerned about her father’s new girlfriend, played by Elizabeth Banks, who she begins to believe is plotting against her.

I will admit the twist with this one got me; I was not expecting it. I enjoyed that the film took the cliched trope of the evil home invader and flipped it on its head. Furthermore, I thought that Banks, rather than Browning was in fact the star of the show, as she gave off a real sense of menace and stole every scene she was in.

I thought Browning was okay, but her performance did nothing to elevate the character or the role, and she just became a very generic protagonist.

Something that I thought was odd about the film was the way in which the supernatural elements early on clashed with the thriller aspects of the rest of the film. It seemed this film could not decide what it wanted to be so tried to go for both, which hurt it as the initial supernatural stuff jars against what comes later, though I suppose could actually be read as an early clue.

Overall, an interesting thriller film with a solid twist that is let down by its choice of leading lady.

Pros.

Banks

The twist

Good tension

Cons.

Browning

The supernatural elements

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Copshop: Balloons Make A Great Shield To Mask Your Identity

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A fixer, Frank Grillo, and a hitman, Gerard Butler, find themselves locked together in a police station, with a rookie police officer, Alexis Louder, trying to figure out what is going on and why everyone wants the fixer dead.

Very much like with Joe Carnahan’s other work this film is very stylised, moreover it benefits from being this way: having a very distinctive visual pleat that draws on grindhouse and exploitation elements whilst keeping things fresh.

Surprisingly following Carnahan’s Boss Level, I find Frank Grillo not in best shape here. I understand the script wants us to view Grillo’s character as an unfeeling cold escape artist, but the film does not do enough to set that up, rather it just makes leaps in character development that just assume the audience is already viewing the character that way, which they most likely aren’t.

It is because of this that Butler really becomes the star of the show and manages to outperform Grillo seizing the lime light and the potential sequel. The only threat to Butler in this regard is Toby Huss, as the secondary hitman sent in to clean up Butler’s characters mistakes. Huss steals the show and has sone of the most memorable lines of dialogue I have heard in a long time, I know the film kills him off but if they do do a sequel he needs to come back in some way. Maybe a twin brother.

The crime thriller elements were engaging if a little generic at times, however they were elevated by the quirky personality of the film and some of the more out there comedic moments that strangely not only land but work.

Overall, the style and the humour elevate what could otherwise be a by the numbers thriller.

Pros.

Huss

Butler

The personality

Cons.

A generic plot

A few issues with character development

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