Channel Zero, Candle Cove: Looking In The Abyss

Channel Zero: Candle Cove is the first of Channel Zero’s horror anthology series, which draws heavily on popular creepypastas and internet folklore using them as inspiration for the show. Candle Cove follows Mike (Paul Schneider), a troubled man who returns to his own home to figure out the mystery of what happened to him and his brother when they were kids. The series revolves around Candle Cove a magical TV show that would just come on at random times of the day and is only visible to kids, the series is manic and disturbing and makes the kids who watch want to kill themselves and others and it is up to Mike to get to the bottom of it and stop it.

I haven’t seen all of the seasons of Channel Zero, only 1,2,3, and I have to say out of all of them this season is the strongest. There is something incredibly menacing about the puppets of Candle Cove, this is doubly so when they start appearing in the real world and start tormenting Mike and the others. Whether it is this or something like The Children of the Corn there is something deeply troubling about seeing little kids kill, a base thing that you know at the core of your being isn’t right, that makes this show all the scarier.

Most of the acting in this season is done well Schneider plays manic and disturbed really well and you never know whether you can trust him or not, he is an unreliable narrator throughout, but this adds to the sense of mystery as you don’t know what is real and what isn’t.

My main issue with this series is that I thought it had too much going on. As well as all the Candle Cove stuff, you have various other plotlines, such as a person made out of teeth that appears sporadically throughout the series for no real reason. These extra plot threads don’t enhance the show in any way, rather they make it feel messy and overstuffed. I believe that this show could have really benefited from having better writing and I think if it had this that it could have been an incredibly strong horror series.

As it stands, there are good horror elements in there and a hell of a lot of tension, but the cutting away to plotlines that go nowhere and that you don’t care about undercut these elements and water down their effect, this is something the other seasons of this show suffer from as well, it is because of this I can’t score it highly.

Pros.

The Horror.

The Tension.

Schneider.

Cons.

Needless plotlines.

The Tooth Monster,

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Part 3: Abandon All Hope Of A Good Season

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Part 3 is a supernatural horror TV Series. The show revolves around a young witch called Sabrina Spellman (Kiernan Shipka), she is half witch and half human and is unlike her peers on both sides on the supernatural vial. The series sees her learn more about her powers and herself and go on various adventures with her friends. Part 3 sees Sabrina go to hell to get her boyfriend back, thereby becoming the new Queen of hell, as well as battling against a horde of pagans that worship the Old Gods and want to see the destruction of Sabrina’s coven.

Before I get into this review I just want to say I genuinely enjoyed the first 2 parts of this series, there were plenty of great horror moments to keep me interested, despite being linked to the Archie comics and therefore to Riverdale this show had avoided most of the terrible pit falls of that show. At least it did for a time.

Part 3 is by far the worst so far, The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina always had a distinct sense of identity, but it loses it this season. It basically becomes a more out there slightly scarier Riverdale which is the worst thing I could ever possibly say. The supernatural horror takes a back seat to relationship drama and teenage angst, I understand this is the main market for the show, but the other parts still had good horror elements mixed in to make these moments bearable. What’s more there is a musical interlude every 5 seconds, which feels very Riverdale, these songs feel like they have no natural place in the show instead feeling like plot padding and a chance to show off their licensed music.

Another thing that makes this part the worst for me is Sabrina herself. She has always been brash and impulsive following her heart rather than her head, but this season is ridiculous. She repeatedly does things that put everyone she cares about in danger just because it is what she wants to do. When she is trying to become The Queen Of Hell, she won’t take souls unless she thinks they deserve it, which is baffling as they sold their souls to the devil in the first place. What’s more her whole holier than thou attitude quickly becomes grating as she seems to think she knows better than everyone else on screen; proving her to be the embodiment of every self-entitled, self-important arsehole ever; what makes this almost comical is that she is near always wrong.

Don’t even get me started on her friends, they literally exist to further the plot and fill-out the near hour runtime of an episode. In a supernatural horror show, I don’t want to watch a 10-minute cheer leading sequence. This series is going down the toilet fast.

Pros.

A few good horror sequences.

Lilith continues to be great.

Cons.

Sabrina is hateable.

It feels pandering and Riverdale esque.

It’s vapid and self-involved.

1.5/5

Reviewed By Luke

The Wicker Man: Not A Bee In Sight

The Wicker Man is a British horror film directed by Robin Hardy. The film centres on Sergeant Neil Howie (Edward Woodward), who travels to the remote Summerisle to try and find a missing girl, and once he arrives, he finds that the locals have abandoned Christianity and have embraced a pagan religion that involves human sacrifice.

This film is the stuff of filmmaking legend not just in the horror genre, but in British cinema in general. It is one of the best UK horror exports. The reason why it is so revered is because it plays on the fear of ‘others’: people who aren’t like us, and in this case in positions them as a direct threat to Christianity. There is a shocking and unpredictable nature to this film which is accompanied by a creep building sense of fear and permeates the whole film.

To me this film reminded me somewhat of Children of the Corn as they both had an underlying sense of something isn’t right here and has the antagonists worship some other evil deity, that is proven to be real to some extent. The Wicker Man also plays on the idea of being single minded, the protagonist is so convinced that his Christian way is right that he is blind to everything going on around him; a mistake that proves to be fatal.

The late great Christopher Lee appears in this film and he is phenomenal. Not only is he terrifying but he has that cult leader quality; the ability to convince others to do what he says through sheer magnetism. Lee proves his worth as a horror master a veteran of the genre, his Lord Summerisle should give you goose bumps.

There are some explicit scenes here and there that serve a purpose narratively but do feel a little over the top. The thing about these scenes is that they seem to come out of nowhere, they serve the purpose of showing how the pagan society clashes with the protagonist’s Christian views and can be viewed as quite shocking, especially when the film came out.

Overall this film is a masterpiece of horror filmmaking, it has been copied into modern horror (here’s looking at you Midsommar) because there is a timeless quality to this story that will never go out of fashion. A Must Watch!

Pros.

A Fantastic Culture Clash.

A Compelling Mystery.

Christopher Lee.

A Very Unique Identity.

Great Atmosphere And Horror.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed By Luke

Murder Mystery: Sandler Is On The Case

‘Murder Mystery’ is a comedy mystery film directed by Kyle Newacheck. The plot follows married couple Nick (Adam Sandler), and Audrey (Jennifer Aniston), who’s holiday is interrupted when they get tangled up in a murder aboard a yacht; they soon get framed for the crimes and then they have to clear their names as well as find out who the real killer is.

I had heard that Adam Sandler’s Netflix comedies were the worst of the worst, lazy, boring and unfunny and I have to say this film disproved that to me to some extent. To elaborate on that point more what I mean is from a narrative standpoint the end twist where it looked like Nick and Audrey were wrong about who the killer is, was good, I wasn’t expecting. However, they then immediately undercut it by being like ‘oh wait yeah it was her’, which I felt was a misstep.

A lot can be said for Sandler’s Netflix fare, but at least it knows what it is. ‘Murder Mystery’ is a good, easy entertainment, you can turn your brain off for an hour and 40 minutes and sit back and have a few laughs, some intentional, some not. The plot is laughably goofy, but then that was always how it was going to be, no one ever thought this film would take itself seriously.

Sandler’s character arc is that he has been lying to his wife about being a detective for a long time and this is then revealed and the two have to work it out, this is not a new or fresh storyline, but it does work to some effect and makes Sandler a likeable, redeemable character. Sandler is definitely more toned down in this film and as such is more tolerable. What’s more it is nice to see him back on screen with Aniston, the two have great chemistry and play off each other with ease.

Luke Evans, Gemma Arterton, Terence Stamp and more are in this film and they are all serviceable, whilst also being incredibly forgettable and devoid of anything even remotely resembling a personality. If I had to guess they were all here for the paycheck.

Overall, Sandler was bearable in this, it was a far cry from something like ‘Grown Ups 2’ he worked well alongside Aniston and the film overall is good if you want something to turn your brain off to.

On the better side of average for sure.

Pros.

Aniston and Sandler.

Dumb Fun.

Sandler Is Always Watchable.

Cons.

The Wider Cast Are Easily Replaceable.

Nothing Fresh Or Original.

2.5/5

Reviewed By Luke

The Ring: Remaking The Japanese Classic

‘The Ring’ is a supernatural horror film serving as a western retelling of the J Horror masterpiece Ringu. The film stars Naomi Watts as Rachel Keller, a journalist who investigates a killer videotape that supposedly kills you in seven days; the more she dives into the mystery surrounding this tape the more she learns of the ungodly activities that made it in the first place.

Before we get started, I just want to say that I didn’t find this film scary. No, it isn’t because I think the horror elements are weak rather that when I was young, I use to watch the hell out of the ‘Scary Movie’ films and, the third film serves as a parody of this film and, I can’t unassociate the two in my head; I can’t think of one without thinking of the other, so it isn’t scary for me.

There will be a group of people who won’t like this film, not because of its quality, but because they see this after yet another remake of a foreign language horror film and, that we don’t need this film when we have the fantastic Japanese original that we can all watch. To that, I would say both are good, the original the better but, this film still has great moments.

The horror elements are strong, I especially love the inescapable capture of the curse itself; even at the end of the film when Rachel thinks she’s beaten it, she hasn’t. Thus the futility of the characters’ struggles makes this film far more interesting to me.
Moreover, the mystery aspects of the film are also surprisingly strong, you come for the creepy ghost girl scares, you stay for the gripping mystery behind the tape that leaves you with more questions than answers.

The actors all do a serviceable job but, their characters are left weak and, underdeveloped; they fall prey to what is extensively the crux of the horror genre, the decision to either focus on the characters who are being scared or, the scares themselves. A lot of horror films this one included decide to focus more on the monster, to establish them, this can lead to some incredibly memorable villains: but the heroes are usually left flat. ‘Sinister’ a film that is quite similar to this is a great example of what I’m talking about: the film spends a lot of time telling you about Bughull and, his mythology but, then tells us very little about Ethan Hawke’s protagonist aside from a few details about his family and, that he is a true-crime writer.

Overall this is a very good western adaption of a Japanese classic, the scares and, mythology are fantastic and, add many extra layers of detail to the film. The one fault is that the protagonists who you’re supposed to root for are as blank as a piece of paper.

Pros.
Good Scares
Good Mythology
Well Adapted

Cons.
Focusing on the scares and the monster to the detriment of the hero.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Knives Out: It’s All About The Doughnut Hole

Knives Out is a murder mystery film, which positions itself as a fresh take on the WhoDunit genre. The plot follows a family gathering that goes off the rails when the Grandfather is found dead; was it foul play? That is what we need to find out.

Rian Johnson, of The Last Jedi and Lopper fame, writes and directs this film and, he does both well. Johnson’s signature subversion of expectation is in full effect here, however unlike in the Last Jedi where it feels out of place and almost deliberately antagonistic, in Knives Out Johnson uses this technique to enrich and enhance the mystery to great effect.

Nothing is straight forward in this film, which makes it a good mystery film, the trailers paint a very different film to the one you get. Furthermore, throughout the film, you will think the story is going one way only to have it veer off drastically in another direction. Most of the times this works really well, keeping you guessing, bringing more and more tension; however, some of these twists seem a little far fetched and seem like just an effort pad out the plot, which doesn’t help pacing.

The wider cast is not as involved as the trailer suggests them to be, with Knives Out instead really focusing on Ana de Armas’ Martha, Daniel Craig’s Benoit Blanc and to an extent Chris Evan’s as the Grandson Ransom. The rest of the cast each get their moment to shine, but other than that all have very little screen time. Knives Out is extensively a film about Martha, a character who is forced to go through a lot and do a lot, the film explores whether a change in financial standing can change a person, or if they will still be the same good person.

The master detective Blanc is Craig’s finest performance to date, he fully loses himself in the role, elevating it to an unforeseeable level. Craig goes fully manic towards the end of the film and, it is one of the best scenes I’ve seen all year; when you see it you will know which scene I mean.

Evans’ doesn’t have the biggest part, and the only reason I bring him up is that this is his first performance outside of the MCU in recent years and, it does very little for me; this does not make me think that Evans’ has any real acting talent, as his role could be played by anyone.

My only strong negative of the film is that there is a scene where all the characters gather together and discuss politics, this scene serves to show where on the political spectrum each character falls. To me there was no need for this scene as it felt preachy, it took me out of the film and felt like I was having headlines read to me; plus as someone who is not from the USA, I have very little interest or, care in American Political matters and, this scene left a sour taste in my mouth.

Overall 90% of this film is good if it wasn’t for some poorly written weak characters and, some needlessly forced politics, then I would give it full marks, but alas I can’t change what it is.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke