The Ring: Remaking The Japanese Classic

‘The Ring’ is a supernatural horror film serving as a western retelling of the J Horror masterpiece Ringu. The film stars Naomi Watts as Rachel Keller, a journalist who investigates a killer videotape that supposedly kills you in seven days; the more she dives into the mystery surrounding this tape the more she learns of the ungodly activities that made it in the first place.

Before we get started, I just want to say that I didn’t find this film scary. No, it isn’t because I think the horror elements are weak rather that when I was young, I use to watch the hell out of the ‘Scary Movie’ films and, the third film serves as a parody of this film and, I can’t unassociate the two in my head; I can’t think of one without thinking of the other, so it isn’t scary for me.

There will be a group of people who won’t like this film, not because of its quality, but because they see this after yet another remake of a foreign language horror film and, that we don’t need this film when we have the fantastic Japanese original that we can all watch. To that, I would say both are good, the original the better but, this film still has great moments.

The horror elements are strong, I especially love the inescapable capture of the curse itself; even at the end of the film when Rachel thinks she’s beaten it, she hasn’t. Thus the futility of the characters’ struggles makes this film far more interesting to me.
Moreover, the mystery aspects of the film are also surprisingly strong, you come for the creepy ghost girl scares, you stay for the gripping mystery behind the tape that leaves you with more questions than answers.

The actors all do a serviceable job but, their characters are left weak and, underdeveloped; they fall prey to what is extensively the crux of the horror genre, the decision to either focus on the characters who are being scared or, the scares themselves. A lot of horror films this one included decide to focus more on the monster, to establish them, this can lead to some incredibly memorable villains: but the heroes are usually left flat. ‘Sinister’ a film that is quite similar to this is a great example of what I’m talking about: the film spends a lot of time telling you about Bughull and, his mythology but, then tells us very little about Ethan Hawke’s protagonist aside from a few details about his family and, that he is a true-crime writer.

Overall this is a very good western adaption of a Japanese classic, the scares and, mythology are fantastic and, add many extra layers of detail to the film. The one fault is that the protagonists who you’re supposed to root for are as blank as a piece of paper.

Pros.
Good Scares
Good Mythology
Well Adapted

Cons.
Focusing on the scares and the monster to the detriment of the hero.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Last Exorcism: A Preacher Heads Down To Louisiana

‘The Last Exorcism’ is a found footage supernatural horror film about Preacher Cotton Marcus, (Patrick Fabian), a man who has lost his faith in exorcism after reading about how a young boy lost his life during one, as a result of this Cotton tries to make a documentary film exposing the practice for the sham he believes it to be. While doing this Cotton meets Nell, (Ashley Bell), a young woman who believes she is possessed by the Devil.

‘The Last Exorcism’ is special, in a sea of possession film each more alike than the next this film stands out and, it is not just because it has a unique gimmick in its documentary-style as this was during the found footage craze, no no the thing that makes this film so good is that for a good 85% of the film you don’t know whether Nell actually is possessed or if she has been the victim of abuse and, as a result, is mentally unwell.

The horror sequences in the film are incredibly strong, Horror Master Eli Roth was heavily involved with the making of this film and, it is clear to see. However, this film does not suffer from Roth’s, often criticised, overuse of gore; instead, it builds its scares through character and, the atmosphere.

Said characters are well done mainly Cotton, Nell and, Nell’s father Louis, (Louis Herthum), are the ones I would single out for praise. Fabian makes for an excellent preacher as well as a conman he also delivers a masterful performance in the film’s third act when his faith is proven to be true; he makes for a thought-provoking lead. Bell does incredibly well in her portrayal of Nell capturing her childlike innocence but, also being a believable physical threat in the possession sequences being not only creepy but, menacing as well; which makes for a nice duality.
Herthum’s praise comes as a result of a sequence when he pursues Cotton and, co around the farm with a gun this one sequence is more tense and, nervewracking then all the possession scenes that follow; which isn’t to say they aren’t scary as well.

The ending of the film as well also helps to add a nice sense of hopelessness to the film, suggesting the idea that no matter what Cotton did it was always going to end the same way; which personally I greatly enjoyed.

Overall this is an underrated horror gem, often discounted by people thinking, “oh this is just another possession film”, but if you watch this film and, give it a chance you will see that it is one of the finest horror films of recent memory.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ghostbusters: Who You Gonna Call?

Ghostbusters is a fantasy comedy film by Ivan Reitman, starring Bill Murry, Dan Aykroyd and, Harold Ramis as a group of scientists who not only believe in ghosts but, want to catch them. They form the Ghostbusters.

The 1984 Ghostbusters film will always be very important to me; it was a film that I had on a lot when I was a kid and, it and its sequel were among the films that got me into the medium in the first place. There is such a loveable B movie charm to this film that makes it hard not to become enamoured with it. It is very like its contemporary Gremlins in that regard.

The original Ghostbusters has to be regarded as an icon of cinema as a whole as well as for the horror genre and, what would become the nostalgic 80’s genre. A lot of this praise comes as a result of the fact that this is a film that is firing on all cylinders, the acting, the effects, the tight script; all of it leads to a hell of a film.

The leading trio are all fantastic and, all have a very specific role to play, Bill Murray, of course, steals the show a bit from Aykroyd and, Ramis but, this is to be expected as Murray is front and centre the whole film. Murray is on top form here being effortlessly charming and, witty, his rivalry with Walter Peck, (William Atherton) is wonderful as Peck is a villain you love to hate and, the film always has Murray’s Venkman get the last laugh, usually with an excellent quip, which is hilarious to watch. Sigourney Weaver is also superb in this film as Dana Barrett doing a lot with very little and, making for a very memorable character; her whole performance after becoming possessed by Zuul is exactly what you would want out of a cheesy 80’s horror-comedy.

The ghosts themselves posses a duality being both fun and, loveable, here’s looking at you Slimmer, but also menacing. The Library Ghost and Zuul and, his heralds are all quite scary and, do give off a very palpable sense of dread when they are around. This tonal tightrope walk between silly and, scary is something this film does very well and, is something you don’t see much anymore as most films either go one way or, the other; even with modern horror comedies a lot of the time.

Overall this is a timeless classic good for all times of the year and, a must-watch. The sequel ‘Ghostbuster 2’ is also very good but, I never thought this film needed to become a franchise and, I think the apathy towards recent sequels proves that; I’m hoping Afterlife proves me wrong.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Black Christmas (2019): The Nightmare Before Christmas

‘Black Christmas’ is a slasher horror film, serving as the second remake of the 1970’s original. The plot follows a group of sorority sisters as they’re preyed upon by an unknown stalker.

I will say this before I get into my full review I hated this film, It may well be my worst film of the year.

My first issue with this film is that it is not a slasher film, it is misleading to call it that this is a social commentary film that has about 15 minutes of slashing in it. The film serves as a look into abuse culture, especially as it pertains to American fraternities and Universities in general.

The sexual abuse theme in this film is uncomfortable if it was handled with the slightest amount of subtly or, taste then ‘Black Christmas’ could really have advanced a much-needed conversation, but that is just it this film lacks any kind of subtly and, the way it chooses to handle this topic serves to make you uncomfortable and, want to leave.

What’smore I never have an issue with political agenda in film, but it is so offensively intrusive here that it can’t help but turn you off the film. It seems like every other line one of the paper-thin characters are saying something political and, feminist, which again would be completely fine if handled tastefully, but it is not. These lines of dialogue feel forced in for the sake of it without actually having anything to say, which if anything serves to weaken the ideas behind what they are saying. A lot of the time it is as though they are just shouting out talking points from the news which really take you out of the film.

The issue with the script is that it feels like a first draft, by that I mean it doesn’t feel like it has been refined at all, the needless politicalness isn’t as clever, or as poignant as the filmmakers clearly think it is; as I said before if anything films like this are doing a disservice to the causes and, the issues they’re trying to champion.

Blumhouse really needs to rethink its approach, they use to be one of the strongest forces in horror, but now they are putting out bomb after bomb, a lot of the recent Blumhouse films feel like they’re trying too hard to be relevant and, because it is so obvious it is offputting.

Ultimately this film feels like it needed more time in development it needed someone to rein in the creatives and, be like maybe don’t do that, but the worst thing about this film is it is misleading, it isn’t a slasher film and, if I had known what it was actually about I wouldn’t have gone to see this; let this be a lesson for Blumhouse.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Nightmare Before Christmas: Nightmare Indeed!

‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ is a stop-motion animated musical dark fantasy film, the plot follows The Pumpkin King himself Jack Skellington as he grows tired of his role as King and yearns for something different; then after a trip to Christmas town decides that he wants to spread joy rather than chills and, scares.

‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ is a film I remember being enamoured with when I was a kid, however, revisiting it ten years later I found it was not in any way how I remembered it; very much in a bad way. Yes in this review I will be saying why I don’t like ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’, which to some is Christmas heresy.

Before I get to that though I want to talk about the stop-motion animation, which is of course wonderfully unique and, very nice to see; as there really aren’t many films like this anymore. The character models, however, are off-putting, I understand that is the point to some extent, but other than Jack, (Chris Sarandon) and, Sally, (Catherine O’ Hara) I found a lot of the other characters very hard to look at for long periods.

Despite not being directed by Tim Burton this is very much one of his films, the style and, the characters are all very much the same if you have ever seen something like Beetlejuice or, for an animated example the Corpse Bride then you know what you’re getting. After watching this film and, thinking back to Burton’s other works I have come away with the conclusion that as a filmmaker he is very hit or miss you either love his style or, you hate it.

The other thing I strongly dislike about this film is the constant singing, yes I know it’s a musical, it seems like every 5 seconds they are bursting into song. I like the odd musical here and there, they are not my genre for sure, but where I think something like Frozen, which is also a musical, gets right is that it uses its songs sparingly which makes them memorable. Whereas ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ seems to operate by a policy of how many songs can I fit into the runtime of this film.

The songs themselves are all fine, with a few standouts amongst them, but I found many of the songs went on for too long and, negatively affected the pacing of the film, sometimes making me want to turn the film off as a result as I was quickly losing interest.

Ultimately this film did not live up to how I remembered it from my childhood, I found the characters off-putting, the constant singing annoying and, though there was some Burton charm to be found it was well hidden. I like the Corpse Bride more.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Krampus: Wait that’s not Santa Claus

‘Krampus’ is a dark fantasy horror comedy film based on the infamous character from Bavarian and, Germanic folklore. The plot follows a family at Christmas that have lost the real meaning of the season and, when Max, (Emjay Anthony), says ‘he hates Christmas and his family’ and, tears up his letter to Santa Claus; they evoke Krampus’ wrath.

This film is from Micheal Dougherty the director behind Trick or, Treat, as such it features creative creatures and, monster; some of which are incredibly original while others are rather familiar to the horror genre. Krampus himself is menacing straddling the line between monstrous and campy at times; his look isn’t 100 per cent accurate to how he is depicted in most of the folklore surrounding him, but he is still scary despite this.

The scares are all pretty good, however ‘Krampus’ does lean on the humour over the scares a lot of the time; this is most definitely more of a comedy film than a horror. The issue with this is that the humour of the film is all pretty weak, it makes you smile a few times, but there are no laugh out loud moments; some of the jokes are even painful.

The acting is on the better side of average, most of the actors are serviceable if not memorable; these include our leading boy Emjay Antony. Adam Scott of Park and Recreation fame in this film as Max’s father Tom, he has some good moments and, a few strong jokes, the only ones of the film, however, he isn’t given much to do and, it feels like a waste of his considerable talents.

Toni Collette is also in this film this is before her game-changing role in Hereditary and, she gives a decent performance not a scene-stealer, but she does a good job with what she has to work with. Allison Tolman of Fargo fame is also in this, but just like everyone else in the cast doesn’t blow you away with her performance.

It is nice to see ‘Krampus’ remind people that Christmas can be scary, it carries the torch on from things like Gremlins, check out my review, and Black Christmas. These films will always serve as a reminder that horror does have a place at Christmas, also this scary bent helps these films stick out from all the other happy, mushy, Christmas fluff.

Overall this film isn’t my favourite Christmas horror film, but it is nice to see some variety in Christmas films that make it out and, despite the fact it doesn’t change the game it has some genuinely good scares and, is wonderfully unique. Check ‘Krampus’ out if you don’t like traditional Christmas films and, have a desire for something new.

4/5 simply for originality

Reviewed by Luke

Gremlins 2: Gizmo Is Back For Blood, First Blood.

‘Gremlins 2: The New Batch’ is a horror-comedy film and, follow up to the 1984 Gremlins film. The story continues the journey of Gizmo, (Howie Mandel), who this time gets wet and, multiplies inside a skyscraper in New York City; can you guess who works in the same skyscraper?

That’s right it’s Billy, (Zach Galligan), the main character from the first film, he is now working in a soul-crushing job at the Clamp Centre, dreaming of being able to draw the things he wants to. Gizmo is captured and, brought to the Clamp centre following the death of his owner Mr Wing, (Keye Luke), meeting back up with Billy in the process.

‘The New Batch’ seems to believe strongly in the concept of more is better, the wackiness of the original film is turned up to 100, with the evil gremlins this time around getting superpowers, as they’re effectively the result of genetic experimentation. These superpowers include the ability to talk and, for one very memorable character wings. The effects of the flight sequence are horrific and, really stand out when compared to today however, it really helps to add to the campy charm of the film.

The campy charm is another thing that this sequel greatly plays up, there are multiple meta jokes and, jabs at other films which serve this purpose. ‘The New Batch’ almost plays like a charming B movie in many ways, this is one of the things I really like about the sequel. Tony Randall as the Brain Gremlin is inspired, he is constantly hilarious and, every moment he is on the screen is a treat; the best lines of the film are all his.

To go back to this idea of meta-commentary this time around Gizmo has seen Rambo and, he uses these skills once again to save Billy; also seeing Gizmo in a little red headband is something I never knew I needed. Gizmo is just as charming and, endearing this time around and, there are real moments of peril for Gizmo wherein you’re genuinely scared for him.

My only real criticism for this film is that in terms of filmmaking and, narrative things aren’t as tight this time around, they feel messy to an extent: as though the creatives and director Joe Dante were just throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks; which to an extent they were as this film had far less time in production than the previous film.

Overall, despite being a little rushed this is still more of the same fantastic gremlins action. This is a gloriously campy, B movie esque, horror-comedy and is definitely worth the watch. It will make you smile and, it will solidify Gizmo as one of cinemas all-time best, and most adorable icons.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Gremlins: Gizmo The Christmas Icon

‘Gremlins’ is a horror comedy film, written by Chris Columbus and, directed by Joe Dante, two legends of the 1980’s film industry. The plot follows Billy, (Zach Gilligan), a young man who gets a Christmas present of his father, a little furry creature called Gizmo. Gizmo is a gremlin a mystical creature that comes with a very specific set of rules, don’t expose it to sunlight, don’t get it wet and, finally and most importantly don’t feed it after midnight. Obviously, all these rules are broken throughout the course of the film, leading to the creation of new gremlins, who unlike Gizmo aren’t cute and cuddly, rather menacing and evil.

Many people have a soft spot in their hearts for ‘Gremlins’ and, many view it as a Christmas classic. This down to, in no small part, Gizmo himself, not only is he memorable but, he is also cute and, endearing and, whenever there is a moment where things look bad for him you almost say out loud, “No not Gizmo”, or maybe that’s just me. What the puppetry team accomplished with him is outstanding and, the choice to give him a voice, (Howie Mandel), is inspired, as it really helps to sell the emotion of the character.

Steven Spielberg’s fingerprints are all over this film and, it shows; it perfectly toes the line between goofy Christmas film and actually good horror. The horror elements are surprisingly strong with the design of the evil gremlins being really quite scary and, unpleasant. Also, there is a lot of fantastic gore in the film, mainly during a scene when Billy’s mum, (Frances Lee McCain), kills three of the evil gremlins, putting one in the microwave and, one in a blender. At the time it came out this level of gore in what was extensively a children’s film, was shocking. This combined with the release of Spielberg’s Temple of Doom lead to the creation of the R rating in America.

‘Gremlins’ is dripping in 80’s goodness it does feel very of that era however, that is not to say that it doesn’t age well; ‘ Gremlins’ is just as perfect now as it was then. The relationship between Billy and Gizmo is a thing of beauty and, the scene in the final act where Gizmo drives a little toy car to save Billy is the most heartwarming, life-affirming thing you might see all year. This film is guaranteed to make you smile.

One last thing to mention is that the final shot of this film, the original owner of Gizmo walking away with him, is one of the most beautifully shot and, most iconic shots not just in horror films but, in cinema in general.

‘Gremlins’ is one of those films that everyone should see at least once, I can promise you it is worthy of your time, and that it will make you smile.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

3 From Hell: Third Times The Charm.

3 From Hell, is a horror film directed by Rob Zombie; serving as the 3rd instalment in the Firefly Saga, carrying on from the Devils Rejects and House of 1000 Corpses.
The film takes place several years after the ending of Devils Rejects, with Otis, (Bill Moseley), Baby, (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Captain Spaulding, (Sid Haig), on death row. The Firefly family has become something in the wider pop culture of Zombie’s universe, and are revered by some as folk heroes; or, at least wrongly convicted. The meat of the film takes place when Otis is broken out of prison by his half brother the Midnight Wolfman, (Richard Brake), and the two try and find a way to break Baby out so the three of them can carry on their murder spree.

Before we get into this review, I want to say that I feel like people judge Zombies films without even seeing them when people hear it’s a Rob Zombie film, they needlessly prejudge it; most of the time deciding they’re not going to like it. I for one believe that yes Zombies’ filmography is an acquired taste but, if you can get past that you soon realise that there is no other film quite like a Rob Zombie film. Much like his horror contemporary Eli Roth it is impossible to not be aware that you’re watching one of his films.

I believe every gory, blood-soaked moment of 3 From Hell proves this in spades, there is something so pulpy and, grungy about Zombies films; insanity is not only full embraced but, celebrated. These characters evil and, monstrous as they’re, become almost anti-heroes at times and, you find yourself rooting for them; or at least I did.

It was nice to see all of the characters back on screen, and each had a memorable scene or, line; such as during the final showdown when Baby hunts down gunmen with a bow and arrow. There is a part of me that hopes that Zombie decides to leave these characters here and not try to carry on this series as I feel they’re left in a nice, ambiguous place, with the audience left to question what comes next.

The new characters are also a lot of fun with Jeff Daniel Phillips’ Warden being a fun moustache-twirling villain for the film’s first act. Phillips is both zany and insane while also being memorable; this is probably his best turn in a Zombie film to date.

Overall if you like Zombies’ films and, you like the Firefly saga, then you will like this. It is a nice final chapter for the series and, sends the killers off into the unknown at the end; leaving it all down to your imagination. I hope this ends the series as I don’t see where it can go from here, but this is Zombie’s finest film to date so if he has more like this I’m game.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Satanic Panic: The Devil, Demons and Devilishly Good Pizza

Satanic Panic is a horror comedy film, following Sam Craft, (Hayley Griffith), a pizza girl, who makes a call to the wrong house and quickly finds herself the target of a satanic cult- due to her being a virgin.

Satanic Panic has vibes of pulpy grind-house horror, think Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, which is a delight to see as those sort of films are few and far between these days. Couple that with the fact that the film features a lot of horror references and homages to many horror classics, and you get a film that is going to scream, “Watch Me”, to any genre hardcore.

However, if you’re looking for a scare, you might want to look elsewhere as Satanic Panic is definitely more of a comedy than a horror; the last 15 minutes asides. Said final 15 minutes which features demons battling it out is not only cool but, also the film’s scariest section.

The comedy of the film mostly lands, making me smile multiple times as I was watching it. Although, somewhat surprisingly, where the film most shines is in its attempts to be dramatic. This comes when we hear Sam’s backstory and learn she is a cancer survivor, and that she abandoned her friend/ lover on the cancer ward. This scene is surprisingly powerful, far more so than I was expecting from a horror comedy film; the emotional weight of this scene hits you hard and fast taking you by surprise and knocking you off your feet.

The mythology of the film and how it approaches demons and devil worship is also novel and fresh; especially towards the ends when it focuses on the hierarchy of Hell. As a result the film almost demands a sequel so we can see more of this world and these characters.

The characters are also fantastic, Hayley Griffith plays Sam perfectly encapsulating her spirit and, to an extent her innocence. She makes for a solid lead and, one who is easy to root for. Likewise, Rebbeca Romijn’s Danica Ross is superbly evil, relishing every moment she is on screen; either with a fantastic quip or, a memorable scene. Romijn proves here why she is one of the best actresses working today. Though the breakout star of the film and, the one for me who gave by far the best performance is Ruby Modine. Modine plays Judy Ross, Danica’s daughter who is left for dead and, saved by Sam. Judy is capable but, also incredibly damaged and, the friendship she forms with Sam is incredibly endearing; watching her fight the forces of night is something I never knew I needed until now.

If you’re looking for a film that is going to scare you or, creep you out this isn’t it. However, if you’re a diehard fan of the horror genre and, like films that pack heart, laughs and, about 10 minutes of scares then this is for you! One of the most smile-inducing films I’ve seen all year.

4/5
Reviewed by Luke