Passenger: A Homeless Demon Film

Summary: A couple who have taken to van life soon start to realise that the open road at night can take a chilling turn.

The reviews for this film were terrible, and whilst it certainly wasn’t the best film, it also wasn’t terrible. Yes it was over reliant on jump scares, yes a lot of the story had been done before and done better. However, bringing in aspects of the Hobo Code and some lesser known Catholic mythos did give it a unique flavour.

It was also interesting that this film had a demon in it but it didn’t go down the possession route as one might expect. Furthermore, seeing two random civilians be able to kill it at the end rather than calling in a priest or a demonologist was a nice change of pace as well.

One thing that will cost this film points is the shameless product placement, when the couple sit down to watch a film it is of course a Paramount film, this is also a Paramount film and the amount of time that shot lingers for is artistically bankrupt.

Overall, if you like horror films there is some novelty here. However, if you want something truly fresh this isn’t that.

3/5

Pros.

Some new stuff

Seeing regular folks beat the demons

Some good scares

Cons.

An over reliance on jump scares

Some aspects are predictable

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Obsessions: A Surprisingly Funny Film

Summary a man uses a make a wish device to get the girl of his dreams, things then go badly.

So when the trailers for this film came out it looked like yet more boring modern socially conscious horror cinema. The message of the film seemed played out, and after watching it is still. However, what changes is that the film is fun enough to make up for it.

I would say this is a star making turn for Inde Navarrette. Not so much in the early film when she plays the out of reach Nicki but definitely so when she becomes the overbearing and nightmarish version of her. The horror and the suddenness if it at times has the power to be shocking and funny in equal measures and Navarrette is at the heart of that.

Overall, a surprisingly good film is a little familiar at times.

3.5/5

Pros

Navarrette

The horror

The ending

The humour

Cons.

The social commentary is tried

Pacing issues

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Hokum: Americans Hated Abroad

A writer, a murder and a witch.

The lead in this film may well get a trophy for the most unpleasant protagonist of recent rememberance he is horrible to everyone around him, and is only nice to the young bartender as he wants her.

After she dies and the witch stuff starts to happen you don’t really believe that he cares about her enough to investigate her death or do any of that.

There is some great horror visuals within this section and it is nice to see it lean into Irish mythology however it doesn’t go far enough you get just a little bit and then it ends, it’s very disappointing in that regard.

Overall, an oddly stunted horror film that has some good ideas but doesn’t go far enough to make them meaningful.

2/5.

Pros.

A few good scares

The Irish mythology

Cons.

The lead is just awful

There is filler in it

The ending doesn’t feel like food closure

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Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen: The Name Says It All

A new horror series from some of the people who brought you Stranger Things.

One only needs watch the first ten minutes of this to see where it is going, and to see that it is generic. Sadly we had to sit and watch it to the end and yup it goes exactly where you would expect a modern horror series to go.

From the way the couple act you can tell they are going to be insufferable, they are stereotypical millennial or Gen Z adults, listening to true crime as they drive, overly crude and of course nursing some deep seated trauma that they spend every second stewing in.

The broader horror of the show is all about marriage and how ultimately you shouldn’t do it. It deconstructs traditional ideas about relationships and turns them into horror. As we have seen that before, the idea of subverting traditional ideas about relationships just shows how screwed up Hollywood is and how it really doesn’t even understand basic human interactions anymore.

The kindest way to describe this is Netflix slop, you will likely see about 20 other series and films just like this on the streamer if you watch it.

Overall, just bland and dull.

0.5/5

Pros.

At least it’s not more episodes

Cons.

The characters are awful

Its subversion and commentary are played out

It isn’t scary

Its incredibly generic

It is badly paced

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Exit 8: A Long Platform To Nowhere

A man walks up and down a subway platform looking for things out of place.

So if that sounds like an odd premise for a film to you, it’s because it’s actually a premise for a video game that got turned into a film.

Whilst the idea may work in theory in a game, as a film it is painfully dull and at times tedious. A few important, interesting things happen over the course of the film, but by and large it is just repetitive.

Moreover, the central character and spends a lot of the film gasping and wheezing and whilst this may be true to the game, it proves to be incredibly distracting over the course of the film.

Overall, an unnecessary video game adaptation.

1.5/5

Some interesting ideas

One good scare

Cons.

Its too slow

It is repetitive

The ending

The pacing

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Mother Mary: A Reinvention That Doesn’t Quite Work

A pop star and one of her support team have an interpersonal conflict.

So for the longest time Anne Hathaway was associated blockbusters in Hollywood, she’s done some indie work with films like Collosal but by and large she was in the big films. This seems to be an attempt to pivot towards art house. Art House cinema is a type of cinema in which subtext, imagery, and deep themes are just as if not more important than the plot of the film itself. Cinema is not art, it is a commercial practice, and art house cinema isn’t art it is simply a commercial practice done to appeal to people who want a high brow experience at the cinema. There has been some confusion out there so we need to clear that up.

Anne Hathaway does not shine here, arguably she may even be miscast, her delivery really doesn’t land in the way you would want it to. The conflict between her and her subordinate feels forced and oddly over the top at times.

Whilst Lowery’s more haunting imagery and visuals were appreciated and arelikely the highpoint of the film they couldn’t get away from the poor central conflict.

In many ways this will be viewed as just another pretentious art house film.

Overall, a miss.

1/5

Pros.

The imagery

Cons.

Hathaway

The interpersonal conflict

The ending and the implications

It is badly paced

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The Mummy: Half Dead But Half Decent

Summary: a young girl is kidnapped and mummified.

Blumhouse making a mummy film didn’t fill anyone with confidence but this film is not entirely bad. Where it focuses specifically on Egyptian themed horror it works well. There is some genuine promise here.

Then they make it every possession film ever made, and parody the Evil Dead with large portions of the family getting possessed and acting like Deadites. Look at what Lee Cronin’s last film was.

Any promise it had went out of the window when they started saying the little girl was possessed by an ancient demon. How many times do we have to see the same thing play out.

The film goes almost exactly as you would expect it to then ends.

Overall, it ruins its promise.

3/5

The early parts of the film have real promise

The Egypt stuff is really cool

May Calamamawy is great

Cons.

The demon stuff makes it generic

It is predictable

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City of the Dead: Witches In Americas Foggiest Small Town

This film has a keen sense of style, it’s gothic aesthetic particularly the town of Whitewood are quite memorable particularly when compared to modern films.

The witch lore is fairly standard stuff but everyone is having enough fun and being silly with it so it feels hammy in a good way.

The main criticism of the film would be that the “good” characters, are actually quite horrible. The brother and boyfriend who both go after the lead to try and help her out treat her like she’s not a person and so it is hard to root for them during the film’s third act.

Overall, fun but let down my poor protagonists.

3/5.

Pros.

The aesthetic

The horror

The hamminess

Cons.

The heroes are not heroes

It is too short

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The Mummy: Not As Much Blackface As You’d Expect

Hammer Horror films are some of our favourites, of course this is a classic Hammer film in all that would entail. Peter Cushing does a good job in the lead, you buy him as an adventurer but also can see just how much fighting the mummy puts him at a disadvantage.

The focus on Egyptology is interesting, Egypt works so well in terms of horror it is surprising we don’t see more Mummy or Egyptian themed horror films.

The central issue with the film is that they give screen time to these side characters, such as the cart drivers, and these scenes play for must a bit too long which effect the pace of the film.

Overall, a fun film with an interesting mythology, but one that wastes time with side characters.

3.5/5

Pros

The mythology

The performances

The Hammer Charm

Egyptology

Cons.

The pacing/padding for time

The horror could be stronger

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Undertone: A24 doing A24

Summary: a podcaster starts experiencing the demonic.

When A24 first started out they were a breath of fresh air and prepared to take chances, this shows that even the freshest air can quickly turn stale. Not only does this film borrow heavily from other demonic possession films it also has a lot of A24isms.

If you wanted to make a drinking game out of it, you’d say random shots of different things with symbolism, a young diverse protagonist, and the idea of depth without actually giving any. Quickly Neon is taking over the horror game. If you have ever watched a horror film before you’ll know exactly where this is going from the start.

A confusing moment was that it was demon who was causing all of the protagonist trouble over the course of the film, yet the film kept trying to imply it was the mother of the lead who was the malevolent force. She would be used for a number of the behind you sort of scares, but at the end of the day she wasn’t evil at all.

Overall, fairly generic art house fare.

2.5/5

Pros.

The use of backwards lyrics to children’s songs was an interesting idea

A few good scares

The pacing

Cons.

You’ve seen it before

A number of the scares don’t land and feel incredibly oblivious

The performances aren’t good

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