Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Christmas Cabin Fever: Worse Than Book Burnings

I returned to the Disney version of the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid franchise and was a bit sick.

So lets get one thing very clear, Greg is a good kid but also a fundamentally flawed one with his schemes often getting him into trouble, he is not the sort of kid to give away the present he most wants to help those in need, the idea was so American and sickening that I almost turned it off. This idea of the great moral virtuoso is fake kids don’t behave like that.

In addition this film above all others in the space made me hate current day animation and long to return to the two dimensional hand drawn kind of years prior. Everything about this was so ugly, the models how they moved around the space, the way they interacted with the environment, the environments themselves were hideous.

Moreover, Greg’s families personality was just one emotional state the entire film, there was no nuance or development for his family in anyway they started off the film one way and ended it the same.

Overall, this is some of the most soulless animation you might ever see.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

The animation is ugly

It feels fake and overly moral

The family has no personality

It is not funny or relatable

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Christmas Karma: London That Famous Latin Location

Summary

Raj from the Big Bang Theory gets political.

So this was the first film I have ever watched on Plex and I have to say it was a good system, better than some streaming services for sure. I am glad this did not come out in the cinemas where I am, as I cannot imagine sitting there and watching it all in one go. I had to take breaks to get over the cringe.

So a lefty luvvie filmmaker that can seemingly only make films about people from South East Asia, think she can reverse the populist rise in the UK by making a film about immigration. She repeats all of the left wing talking points you would expect, immigrants only immigrate due to forced displacement, ignoring economic migration, that the locals are always angry white people, rather than plenty of people who welcome immigrants and want to integrate with society. This is the sort of film that makes people become right wing, by over simplifying a complex topic and present a very basic moral argument between good and bad.

Also this film decided that A Christmas Carol really needed a latina ghost, really? This film is supposed to be set in the UK, why would there be a latina ghost? The number of Latin people in the UK is miniscule. What seemed like to me was an effort in box ticking, they needed to get every group they could think of ticked off the list, they even gave some token white representation by having Danny Dyer be a dumbed down goofy version of himself to go see white people we don’t hate all of you.

The plot is your standard play on A Christmas Carol with the above politics mixed in for flavour, the issue however, is that A Christmas Carol has been done to death and mixing in some race baiting elements isn’t what the film needs to feel fresh.

Overall, I am sure the group this film was made for will like it, but sadly I was not a part of that group. My takeaways from this experience is that Plex is great Christmas Karma not so much.

1/5

Pros.

It has some unintentional comedy

Cons.

It isn’t funny on purpose

It is preachy

It over simplifies things

The moral of it is so obvious throughout

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Zootopia Two: China To The Rescue

Summary

Disney Animation could not get more generic if it tried.

The first film felt paper thin with the idea of the predators vs the prey metaphor working as a stand-in for race relations, everyone could see the very obvious message of not judging others by what they are but rather the content of their character. Yet this film feels the need to push a worn out and frankly reductive metaphor further forward as it has nothing to say otherwise.

In many ways this is the very worst kind of sequel not one that exists due to a need to, but rather one that is just done for profit. Everything feels a bit more low rent, the humour a bit more stale, the voice cast sound like they are going through the motions, they have the woman from Abbot Elementary basically being an animal version of her character from that show, it all feels very low effort.

Finally wherein Disney films of old used to have a clear moral message that the film would teach over the course of its runtime, there is nothing like that here, maybe it is the reliance of shades of grey rather than actually having established heroes and villains or the need to make everything morally complex that leads to this issue it is hard to tell.

Overall, this is just more animated slop that brings down the tone of the whole genre.

1.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a few unintentional laughs

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A Very Merry Pooh Year: Bring Back Hand Drawn Animation

Summary

Pooh and friends celebrate the holidays.

I needed a pallet cleanser after all of the horrible three dimensional animation I have seen recently for a project I was helping a friend with, so I thought some classic hand drawn animation was just the ticket. Seeing this makes me think about what we have lost, hand drawn animation has so much more heart and soul, even when it combines with three dimensional characters or elements.

I like that this is not just a Christmas film but rather a film that reflects the whole period, there are not many animated New Years films so that was a nice change. I thought that this special did a lot to not only make it feel like Christmas but show how each individual character interacts with the season. The Christmas magic really gave the sweetness of Pooh an extra something.

I would challenge you to watch this special and not even feel a little bit Christmassy, it shows the true meaning of the season and has a wonderful message that is relevant no matter who is watching it or when.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is sweet

It is novel

It is nice to see the different character interact with Christmas

The animation

Cons.

It is slow at times

It has almost a melancholy feel at times

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Sisu Road To Revenge: The Price Of Lumber Today

Summary

Sisu, Jorma Tommila, is back and this time it’s all about lumber.

I enjoyed this film it was more of the same, the action was as you would expect it to be brutal and violent, but it was widely a step back from the first film.

I think the first film played up the over the top force of nature a bit more, there were those elements here but I would say by and large the film was softened and he was shown to be more human. The ending of the film is a reflection of this where people show up and help him build his house, this sentimentality was not what I was looking for out of the film and it clashed with the larger than life elements.

I thought Stephen Lang was a good foil and played the villain well, it felt very much like he was a good match for the lead, however, I would have liked to have seen some flashbacks with him to establish him more and show what he is capable of. I understand they probably didn’t do this for budgetary reasons.

The turns towards absurdity, such as the lead showing up with an old tank that has his precious lumber strapped to it were a bit jarring and I would say again didn’t fit with the tone.

Overall, it maintains a lot of what made the first film good but some of the tonal choices are jarring and let things down.

3/5

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Roofman: Randomly Showing Juno Temple’s Nipple

Summary

The real life story of a man who lived in a Toys R Us after breaking out of prison, and then becoming infatuated with one of the workers there.

It is very hard to give this film a coherent review, there are aspects about it that work: the lead character is very likable and you do root for them and want to see them reunited with their daughter, in this respect Channing Tatum does a good job. However, there are also aspects that really don’t work: there are decisions made in the film in a narrative sense that make no sense at all, you just don’t buy it at times.

Also the writing of the film particularly when it is Tatum interacting with the church group, is so horribly cringe that you want to escape. I like cringe comedy but this is so painfully cringe that it makes you want to scream, I’ll also add that the film is not trying to be cringe which makes it all the worse.

It is nice to see Kristen Dunst back in a major role, I feel like we see a lot less of her these days, I know she was in Civil War but she used to be far more regularly on our screens.

Overall, a film with heart but also a lot of cringe.

3/5

Pros.

It has heart

It is weird but in an interesting way

There are some funny laughs

Cons.

The plot holes

The cringe

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Die My Love: J-Law Shoots Softcore

Summary

Jennifer Lawrence gets nude for attention.

So this is a Lynn Ramsey film and people need to understand what that means, a lot of the negative reviews coming out of this film don’t seem to be familiar with her or her work, and seemed to expect something different out of this film than clearly what it was promising.

This film is black-pilled to the core and suggests that some people cannot be saved, no matter how much you or they may want to be. Lawerance’s character is deeply troubled and only gets worse as the film progresses it is about her slip into mental instability and the uncurable nature of it. Rather than be a film that comments simply on post-partum depression this film takes it a step further and presents the very idea of family life as maddening, but also presents a counter-idea of inescapable trauma.

Jennifer Lawrence gets nude a lot, and has multiple scenes of her fingering herself, if this was done by a male director you would almost say is this voyeuristic, however, the film presents this as another sign of her mental decline, as women being sexual must mean they are crazy right, rubbish. It is kind of odd that since Jennifer Lawerance came back to our screens after a little time away, after she used to be on them all the time, she is now in competition with Emma Stone for who can get the closest to shooting porn without quite doing it. I wonder if this is a conscious career pivot by Lawerance or something that she has been ‘encouraged’ to do. It is showing as a pattern at this point, No Hard Feelings had a lot of full on nudity and so does this film it will be curious to see if her next role does as well.

Overall, an well made film that can feel a little exploitative at times.

3/5

Pros.

It is an interesting look into mental health that moves away from more trodden paths

The performances are good

I thought the film used surrealism and magical imagery in a way that was novel

Cons.

The nudity also feels uncomfortable at times

It is depressing

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Wicked For Good: Making Disabled People The Villain

Summary

Dorothy shows up and the Wizard Wins.

Now technically, the witch, Cynthia Erivo, wins as she isn’t really dead at the end, and Jeff Goldblum goes back to the real world in a ballon, but who’s counting.

Now this film struck me immediately as being dumb, characters will sing about how they are feeling when we can already infer that based on what is going on, on screen, they are feeling the need to explain very basic things through song. The metaphors and allegories the film tries to project are likewise basic, and lacking in nuance. It feels as though it assumes the audience are idiots. You could argue maybe they think the main audience is kids, but then why have a whole scene and song about the witch making up for lost time in the bedroom with the Prince.

Also for a film that clearly prides itself, on its DEI, look at any crowd scene and you will see every race made up, there is a strong ableist throughline in the film. So the witch’s sister is disabled, she dreams of being able to fly like she did on one magical evening, this clearly is a reference to walking as her flying is walking on air, then you have her impose laws that mean that the munchkins, little people, can not move freely as she loves one who does not love her back and she wants to restrict his movements. This makes this character outwardly a villain and is a very negative representation of disability, with the character almost going so far as to wish herself out of the chair, which is apparently bad, as it shows that disability is a bad thing rather than something to be celebrated. I don’t know about you but I think the people who made this film are bigots.

The numbers themselves are all as you would expect, it is just musical theatre the movie they all sing and dance in that same irritating talk/sing way and have the same quirky interludes. I must say in this vein Ariana Grande was particularly bad, not only were a lot of the songs, not just hers, full of very noticeable auto tune, but they also sounded exactly the same. She is supposed to be a musician and yet all of the songs sounded like the same thing rehashed, her ‘acting’ if you want to call it that was like wisely wooden, though Erivo’s was no better.

If you enjoyed the first film this one does feel like a less good more of the same version, and it feels a bit anti-climatic as the end to this two part ‘event’, however, for my money I would wager that this is not the end and that is why it did not feel bigger, I believe they will try and push it forward, not directly at first but by the time it is Wicked 5 all of the cast from these films will be back.

Overall, dumb and vaguely offensive.

0.5/5

Pros

It feels shorter than the last one

Cons.

The songs

It is dumb

It makes disabled people evil

It feels like a step back after the last film

It is still too long

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The Ballard Of Wallis Island: The Ultimate Stan Move

Summary

An oddball who wins the lottery, invites his favourite pop duo to his private island for a show after they have long since broken up.

This was quite a heart warming film and it doesn’t go the way you expect it to, you imagine the duo are going to get back together, musically and romantically, but in the end they don’t and that is presented as okay and a healthy step forward.

This film is not really a laugh a minute sort of film, I would almost hesitate to call it a comedy film, I would say it is more of a feel good film, it makes you smile rather than laugh. That is not to say there aren’t jokes in it, there are but that is not really what the film is going for.

You could I suppose argue it is a comedy drama film as there is a raw emotional side to this film, with the island owner being a widow who is incredibly sad, or the male half of the pop duo hating his life since the band broke up. This for once works as you do care about the characters so both sides of the comedy drama split hold up, you care about them and they make you smile but also you feel bad for them when you see how much pain they are in.

In many ways this is a rare beast these days an intelligent film that doesn’t need to be pretentious or tell you openly how deep it is, this is a film with hidden depth palpably throughout that is obvious to those who can recognise it.

Overall, a sweet film.

4/5

Pros.

The characters

The music

The charm

The emotional depth

Cons.

Some of the character arcs are perhaps not explored enough

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Now You See Me Now You Don’t: Rosamund Pike Is A Fantastic Actress

Summary

The horse-people are back.

So it was nice to see this franchise return and to see Jessie Eisenburg star in something again it has been too long.

This was as you would expect it to be a passing of the torch movie, they brought in a new team of next generation horse-people, I won’t say horsemen it is just not inclusive enough, I’m joking. They bring everyone back including both of the female horsemen from the other two films, but this really is a changing of the guard film. There are moments wherein you go are they going to kill off some of the older members, but thankfully Woody Harrelson makes it to the end of the film.

This film is very concerned with being conscious, and by that I mean there are a lot of lines about sticking it to the evil rich people, and redistributing wealth, and changing the world by committing acceptable crimes, that read a little too close to the vest these days. There are a number of lines where the horsemen almost see themselves as activists who’s duty it is to change the world.

Rosamund Pike plays the film’s villain magnificently, her South African accent is pretty flawless throughout, she is very talented.

Overall, the film despite activist blood in it, is still fun to watch and it is nice to see some old faces back on our screens, it is good brainless escapism.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is fun

It brings everyone back

Pike is excellent

There are a few funny moments

Cons.

It has some cringe moments of dialogue

The newer characters aren’t good

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