The Old Way: Cage Goes Guns Blazing

Summary

Nicolas Cage breaks into the western.

Honestly, I would say that Cage has already been in a western before, with Ghost Rider, there are a lot of western elements to that film when you next watch it you will see what I mean, but I suppose in a classic sense then yes this is the actors first foray into the genre.

I think if this film had come out a few decades ago it would have been better received, when in contemporary times you are having excellent westerns like Hostiles and The Harder They Fall something like this comes out and just seems a bit lacking. Yes, Nicolas Cage as ever jazzes up a turd and his performance is certainly a highlight of the film, perhaps the only one, however the rest of it is so average and boring that it is hard not to want to turn it off.

The real failing of this film is just how afraid it is to try and do something new rather than telling the same sort of story we have seen time and again. It was so predictable and boring that I was struggling to keep my eyes open whilst watching it.

Overall, I get what Cage was trying to do but this was a swing and a miss.

1/5

Pros.

Cage is as charming as ever

Cons.

It is predictable

It is generic

It goes out of its way to stop itself from being original in anyway

It has horrible pacing

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Missing: Pretty Good Product Placement For TaskRabbit

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A teen, played by Storm Reid, must try and find her mum, played by Nia Long, after she goes missing in Columbia.

I will admit this film was a lot better than I was expecting it to be. Based on the trailers I thought this film was going to be incredibly generic, and whilst that is partially true, I found myself caring about the character’s journey and invested in the twists and turns of the plot which was a nice surprise. There are some good edge of your seat moments here, mainly centred around a pretty genius bit of misdirection.

However, the film isn’t perfect and ultimately you will have seen many of these sorts of films before, it can’t escape its generic structure. Moreover, once you know the twist it is highly unlikely that this film will stand up to rewatches as it won’t be anywhere near as good. Widely I think the thing that harms this film is the fact that its format, screenlife as it has become known, films which all take place on someone’s computer or mobile devices, feels like a fad from the middle of the last decade which no longer holds the same novel nature it once did, it now feels tired.

Reid’s performance as well is nothing to write home about and actually comes across as fairly two dimensional at times. She is only a short into her career actor so I won’t be too hard but her emoting and dramatic delivery could really use some more.

Overall, better than it has any right to be, but still hamstrung by its format and overly familiar narrative.

3.5/5

Pros.

The twists and turns

Maintaining good tension

The pacing

It is certainly very watchable

Cons.

Reid

It is overly familiar

Screenlife really is a played out gimmick

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Batman and Robin: The Bat Suit Always Did Need Nipples

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film that put nipples on the bat suit

Many people would tell you that this is the worst Batman film, and whilst it certainly isn’t good I don’t know if I would call it the worst, maybe I have softened on it with time, but I do think there is some campy charm to this film that after the decade + of overly serious Batman we have had I wouldn’t mind seeing again.

The performances admittedly are a mixed bag, with some being good, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, some passable, George Clooney as Batman and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, and some being terrible Chris O’ Donnell as Robin. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze has a special place in my heart as he is almost symbolic of the cocaine fuelled madness, which I imagine was the entire films production. His ice puns are a particular highlight.

I do think that this is one of the those films that reaches the point of being so bad it is good, and think if you view it as a love letter to the Adam West Batman series of yore then there is a lot this film gets right. However, if the only Batman for you is the incredibly dark brooding one then yes you probably won’t like this film.

Overall, not a good Batman film but certainly one that exists within the so bad it is good range.

2/5

Pros.

The ice puns

The campy silliness

Cons.

Some of the performances are woeful

It is one for way too long

It is mind-numbingly stupid

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Left Behind: Cage Turns To Jesus

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Nicolas Cage makes a faith film.

So like many of the Pure Flix films, this isn’t one, that you might have seen this film spends an awful lot of time trying to instil in you the message that we as a species have become too sinful and by turning away from God he is going to smite us. So much, so repetitive, it is as though the Christian crowd doesn’t seem to realise you can’t scare people into believing.

In many senses you can guess where this film is going and it doesn’t deviate from that in anyway. It feels incredibly preachy and doesn’t have much fun with its end times scenario. Just once I would like to see an End Times film that is a comedy, someone needs to make that.

Usually I would say that Nicolas Cage can save any film he is in and whilst that is true, here he doesn’t do much. Which is a real shame. I would guess that this may be one of the films made during the time whilst Cage was badly in debt and in dire need of cash to keep the tax man off his back because surely he didn’t believe in this film or think that it would make for a good role, it is sickeningly over the top Christian propaganda.

Overall, one has to question is the Christian film market big enough to prop up all these terrible films?

1.5/5

Pros.

It is unintentionally hilarious

It makes for a fun drinking game

Cons.

Cage can’t save it

Pacing issues

It is incredibly preachy

It is predictable

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Black Sea: Life Below The Russian Navy

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A crew of recently fired sailors try and engage in some deep sea salvage to disastrous consequences.

I really ended up enjoying this film, though there are many action thriller films with similar premises I thought this film came together well. All parts of the film working together manage to lift it above mediocrity and straight into good.

I thought the threat and peril of the film felt very real. Once things start going south under the sea it becomes edge of your seat viewing. The claustrophobia of the submarine helps to amplify this and make every thing that goes wrong feel like it is adding to this sense of dread which makes the film hard to look away from.

Another major feather in the films cap is its cast which is absolutely stacked with good performances. Jude Law centres the piece masterfully, coming off originally as a very hard and stoic man but then growing more and more likeable as the film progresses and you begin to understand his motivations. Equally Ben Mendelsohn who plays a psychopathic diving expert also manages to give Law a run for his money in terms of performance. You really feel the detachment and the hostility that Mendelsohn’s character is giving off, and the film is wise to use him as a red herring villain, as it then masterfully misdirects whilst at the same time taking shots at classism within society.

Overall, a strong thriller film.

4/5

Pros.

Law

Mendelssohn

The tension

The ending

Cons.

The first act is painfully slow

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We Have A Ghost: David Harbour Is Charming Even When Silent

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family moves into a house only to find it haunted.

I thought in some respects this was quite a sweet film. Very familiar, but sweet. I thought the friendship between Jahi Winston’s Kevin and David Harbour’s Ernest was fairly nice and heart-warming, I liked a lot of the awkward comedy they injected into the interactions between the two, especially after they go on the run. Likewise I thought that the relationship between Kevin and his father, played by Anthony Mackie, was also quite well done I liked how they showed the distance but also that the spark of their bond was still partially alive.

My criticism of this film would be that it leaves a lot on the table and doesn’t go as wild as I would have liked it to, for a film that has a secret government agency that hunts down ghosts this film is more interested in it’s characters relationships than anything else, which for me seemed like a missed opportunity. When looking at Landon’s other recent work with the Happy Death Day films and Freaky I was expecting something a little more zany, though maybe he was trying to rebalance the scales with this one.

A final aside before I bring this review to an end, I think that this film is absolutely stolen by Isabella Russo’s Joy, whenever she is on-screen she commands attention and without trying was easily my favourite character of the film, I liked her attitude and general vibe and I also thought she had a lot of the funniest lines in the picture.

Overall, a surprisingly sweet film but one that has been done before, arguably better, and one that doesn’t go as hard or as silly as you would like it to.

3/5

Pros.

Winston, Harbour and Mackie

The character work and relationships

Russo as the scene stealer

Cons.

A little too serious at times for what it is

Pacing issues galore

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The Mummy Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor: In Need Of Rachel Weisz

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The O’Connells, played by Brendan Fraser and now for some reason Maria Bello, take on a new undead foe in the form of the Dragon Emperor, played by Jet Li.

A lot of people hate on this film and for the most part I can totally see why, replacing Weisz with Bello is noticeable mostly because Weisz was as big a part of the series as Fraser so her absence feels odd, not to mention the fact that Fraser and Bello have no chemistry at all. I also don’t like that they make Fraser’s Rick some what of a deadbeat dad and give him a backseat in what should be his own film.

However, that said I do think this film has some redeemable parts to it. For me this mainly comes in seeing new undead threats and moving away from Ancient Egypt, I think this is a great idea as it really helps the film feel different, fresh and expands the world of the film to a great effect. Moreover, both Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are fantastic in their new roles and really do bring a lot to the film. I think Li in particularly easily fills the shoes of Vosloo from the previous two films and is a commanding presence on screen.

I also really, really like that this film features Yetis, but that is just because I find that cryptid creature fascinating.

Overall, certainly the weakest film in the trilogy but not without redeemable moments.

2.5/5

Pros.

Moving away from Egypt

It feels fresh

The Yetis

Cons.

Weisz not returning

Making Jack a bit player in his own film and pushing the son

The pacing issues are quite noticeable

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The Mummy Returns: Some How They Managed To Make The Effects Even Worse

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The O’Connells, played by Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, do battle with Imhotep, played by Arnold Vosloo, all over again this time bringing their kid, played by Freddie Boath, along as well.

I think in many ways this film really tries to recapture the magic of the first film and in some ways really succeeds in that quest whilst at the same time drastically failing in other areas. I think on the whole this is a diminished sequel that fails to live up to the first film.

My two main issues with this film are that the iffy CGI and VFX work of the first film is turned up to one hundred here and becomes laughably bad. This really hurts the film as it stops it being scary anymore. In addition the child actor playing the O’Connells kid is really quite terrible and his distractingly bad performance also drags you out of the film. Child actors are rarely good in any film but this one is particularly annoying throughout and this is only made worse by how much the film likes to focus on him.

The two things I will give this film credit for however are, one that they raise the stakes from the first film and really start to flesh out the world as a whole and two that they bring back Ardeth, played by Oded Fehr, from the first film and give him a lot more to do which is nice considering he is one of the most interesting characters in the entire series. I would argue quite passionately that it should have been Ardeth that got the spin-off film and not Dwayne Johnson’s Scorpion King but hey.

Overall, a lesser sequel but one that still gets some stuff right.

3/5

Pros.

The wider scope

Brining back Ardeth and giving the character more to do

Still some good moments and scares

Cons.

The CGI work is awful

The kid is incredibly annoying and the film focuses on him way too much

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The Mummy: Peak Brendan Fraser

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A librarian, played by Rachel Weisz, and her brother, played by John Hannah, travel to Egypt to chase a legend and along the way they meet adventurer Rick O’Connell, played by Brendan Fraser.

I thought after all the recent buzz he has been getting from his performance in The Whale it would be interesting to go back to Brendan Fraser’s arguably biggest film and see if it still holds up. The result, for the most part I would say that yes this film does indeed hold up though in a few areas it wasn’t the classic I remembered it to be. I think this is mainly in the CGI, which is a mixed bag at best, but that is let down by some pretty bad early noughties effects work. This is why practical effects are just so much better because they last the test of time, whereas CGI quickly looks bad, rant over.

That said I still think that this is one of the best universal monster films, outside of the originals. I think what works so well about this film is just how escapist it is, the adventure this film presents is fun to go on be it just the once in the cinema or over and over again. Another feather in this film’s cap is that it works as both a family fantasy movie and a darker horror film for an older age group, both aspects feel represented without forcing the other out and into the cold, this is quite a feat in and off itself.

Finally, I really do think that the most powerful strength of this film is its cast, everyone is firing on all cylinders. Hannah, Weisz and Fraser make for a great trio of heroes, each bringing something different to the table and each giving you a reason to care about them, whilst also having a really strong villain in Arnold Vosloo’s Imhotep.

Overall, a classic in most regards even if the horribly dated effects do drag it down a little.

4/5

Pros.

Fraser, Weisz, Vosloo and Hannah

It is a fun adventure film

It also works as a horror film and has a number of good scares

It is paced well and feels engaging

Cons.

The effects don’t hold up.

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What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A documentary filmmaker, played by Lilly James, makes a film about her childhood friend’s, played by Shazad Latif, arranged marriage.

The romantic set-up in this film is incredibly obvious to the point where it crosses over into cliché, everyone knows going in that James’s character is going to fall for Latif’s that is part of the unspoken agreement of the film. However, what isn’t known is that this film is worlds away from other rom-coms such as Love Actually, Crazy Rich Asians, Boxing Day etc by the fact that it is not a comedy at all.

I would argue that this film is not a rom-com, more so a romantic drama film with a schmaltzy ending that tries to undo a lot of its more depressing aspects but doesn’t really come anywhere near close enough. This film is depressing at times manically so, and that really is its greatest fault. Whether it is Lilly James saying how all the Disney princesses were depressed, her incredibly toxic relationship with her mum, played by Emma Thompson, or the fact that the arranged marriage actually happens although you knowing the genre think it won’t, this film knows how to upset you. There were multiple moments in the film where I found myself wanting to leave as it was so depressing I was no longer having fun at the cinema.

I think the great bane of this film is that despite James and Latif giving reasonably serviceable performances this rom-com lacks any kind of warmth or charm at all and that makes the film off-putting.

Overall, this film does the one thing a rom-com never should do, be depressing.

1/5

Pros.

James and Latif try their best to save this film

Cons.

It is depressing

It is not by any means a fun watch

The ending feels like it is over compensating

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