The NeverEnding Story: A Fantasy Classic?

Summary

A young boy, played by Barrett Oliver, soon finds himself on a quest in a magical fantasy land.

Before watching this I had never seen The Never Ending Story before, I had long heard tale of it being one of the best fantasy films ever made, but it remained a mystery to me. However, now after having watched it I can safely say that Peter Jackson’s original trilogy of trips to the Shire are safe in their spot as the best fantasy films ever made.

Now the film does have some good areas, such as the effects which hold up reasonably well, and the characters which manage to feel different enough to stand out from the generic masses of mythical beings that pad out the rest of the fantasy film genre.

However, where the film falls down for me is within it’s plot. I understand that it is adapting a book so can only do so much, but the premise is just one I have seen so many times before in a cross media context, and that genericness made me start to tune out when I realised the direction the film was heading in. Moreover, the film also suffers from pacing issues which makes it feel far longer than it is and as such far more of a chore to get through.

Overall, a serviceable film but definitely not the classic it is thought as by some.

3/5

Pros.

The effects hold up well

Some interesting and memorable characters

A good score

Cons.

The premise feels very generic

Pacing issues

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Death Proof: Tarantino’s Mistake

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A serial killer stuntman, played by Kurt Russell, hunts down young women in modified cars.

If nothing else this film proves no one is perfect. For as many great films as Quentin Tarrantino has made across his career there always had to be a dud, it is the law of averages, and this is that dud.

This is easily Tarrantino’s worst film, with a story that is utterly simplistic and lacks any of his usual charm or whit. I understand that it is trying to parody exploitation films and evoke those sort of ideas, but this only serves to make the film worse. The exploitation nature of the premise leads to the film quickly becoming repetitive and bland.

Worse yet is the idea that this film is a black comedy. Not only does the humour not work it really barely comes through at all. When it is present it is you laughing at the film for how bad it is, was this what Tarrantino wanted?

Overall, Tarrantino’s worst film by quite a margin.

1/5

Pros.

It gives us a few laughs at how bad it is.

Cons.

The humour doesn’t work

The exploitation elements don’t hold up

It lacks any kind of charm

It is repetitive

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Mafia Mamma: The Suburbs Take Italy

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After being cheated on Kristin, played by Toni Collette, travels to Italy for her grandfather’s funeral. However, little does she know that once their she will become the head of a prominent crime family.

In many sense this is a lame wine mum esque comedy, but in truth these days that is really becoming my bag. I enjoy the sort of films where female characters get to have The Hangover style shenanigans and even more so when it is mature women doing it. This is because as many have noted once women reach a certain age in Hollywood it seems all they are good for is playing mothers to younger teen characters or even in some cases grandmother, regardless their days as the protagonist having fun adventures is over. That is why films like this are so needed.

Yes I feel like I have seen it before but at the same time there is something very comforting about a film like this. Collette plays the role to perfection and your really go on this journey with her when she comes into her power both in a sexual sense but also in terms of self-worth. At the same time we get a lot of good nods and outright parodies of The Godfather movies across the film and a lot of the gangster stuff is quite funny due to the drastic culture clash

Overall, it is a lovely feel good film boosted by a strong performance from Collette

4/5

Pros.

It is feel good

It is comforting and easy

It is quite funny and has a number of good references

Collette

Cons.

It feels a little familiar

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3: And You Thought Toy Story 3 Was Sad, You Haven’t Seen Anything Yet

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Guardian’s gather for one final journey together.

Buckle up this is going to be a long one. To give you a peak behind the curtain usually the first thing I do when writing a review is to decide on a score, but this is the first film where even as I am writing this sentence I am not quite sure what I want to give the film.

In one regard, this film gave us conclusions to some of the best character arcs in the MCU and did the best character work I have ever seen in one of these films. It was perfectly balanced in terms of every character having their moment to shine and each one had a satisfying ending, be that retirement or new calls to leadership. Moreover, I thought this film perfectly encapsulated the family bond of the Guardians as a team and showed in a very earnest way just how much they care about each other.

I must say before going further I was very surprised no one died and that instead the characters were just retired, as I thought for sure someone was going to die. I think in a sense if someone had died the film would have been more effecting, but I think the reason no one did is because the film couldn’t take any more darkness, I’ll get to that in a minute.

Also I enjoyed how Adam Warlock, played by Will Poulter, was done. Yes I know I am in the minority on that but I thought it was a different side to him then what the comics usually show and had him instead be more vulnerable. He definitely needs to come back in the future especially if it is a space bound story. Although I will say that I thought it was a little contrived how they switched Adam from being a baddie to a goodie, and I thought that the Sovereign were largely wasted. It would have been very interesting to have seen their society realise the man they thought was a God was in fact a monster.

Now back to the other regard, in many ways I didn’t enjoy this film. I thought it was a good character piece but not a fun time at the cinema or a film I would ever want to watch again. When I next do my Marvel rewatch this film will be left out. The reason for that is because of the bleak, distressing and deeply upsetting scenes of animal abuse that pepper the film. Yes, I know that a, they are not real animals and that it is just CGI and b, that Rocket’s backstory from the comics is twisted and depressing so they had to do the adaption justice. However, my counter to both of those points would be that it doesn’t make the film any less depressing and unhappy of a watch. They could have shown Rocket’s backstory without going as hard as they did, even if it was just off screen or implied, they didn’t need to show some of the things they did. I think the perfect encapsulation of what I am talking about comes during the destruction of Counter-Earth, in which Adam Warlock’s pet urinates in fear as it thinks it is going to die on the Guardian’s ship. Perhaps to some that scene may have been a joke, but to me I found it to be the icing on the cake of horrible treatment towards animals which I found very distressing. Also don’t get me started on the Holocaust parallels in the final section of the film wherein the children on the ship are about to be killed before being liberated by the Guardians.

PS. If you are considering taking your kids to see this then hear me now, don’t do it this isn’t a happy go lucky Marvel romp this film goes to incredibly dark places and frankly I don’t think it is suitable for kids

Overall, great character work but honestly a very miserable film to watch.

3/5

Pros.

The ending

The character work

It perfectly balances every character and gives everyone their moment

Cons.

It isn’t a fun watch and is deeply depressing and upsetting at times

It has major pacing issues

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Dungeons and Dragons Honor Amongst Thieves: Rolling Hard For Charisma

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A motley crew of thieves, sorcerers and resistance fighters set out on a quest to steal a magical artifact that has the power to resurrect the dead and reunite one of the band with his dead wife.

I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would. I will admit here relatively up front that I am fairly inexperienced when it comes to Dungeons and Dragons and the wider lore of the game, I have played a few sessions of it in my time but I have never been overly into it. So that said I was coming into this world fairly fresh.

I thought that the cast of characters we meet are all fairly charming, Michelle Rodriguez and Justice Smith really shine in their roles as a fearless warrior and a hapless sorcerer, but are probably out pipped by Chris Pine as the master planner extraordinaire. I bought into their motivations and thought that they nicely engaged me over the course of the film’s runtime, so much so that if there were to be a sequel I would say they should return.

The real strength of this film is its comedy, which for the most part really did land for me. Yes, there were one or two jokes that didn’t land or that were out and out bad but for the most part this film was fairly funny. First impressions may suggest that this film is more of an action and adventure epic in the same vein as a Pirates Of The Caribbean, but I would argue that in actuality this film is far more of a comedy then anything else.

Overall, funny and charming, only held back by a weak villain and pacing issues.

3.5/5

Pros.

Pine, Rodriguez and Smith

It has charm, heart and laughs

You engage with the character and buy their motivation

It is fun

Cons.

It has pacing issues

The villain is weak and forgettable

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The Pope’s Exorcist: Russell Crowe’s Italian Adventure On A Vespa

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Vatican’s best exorcist, played by Russell Crowe, has to travel to Spain to fight the forces of evil.

This one was strange. On the one hand it was a very competent possession film, nothing ground breaking but it delivered all of its scares as you would expect them and ticked most of the boxes of what people would want out of a possession film. However, on the other hand the film had a number of overtly comedic moments and little jokes which took me right out of the film. I am not saying there isn’t a place for levity within a scary horror film but I am saying that cracking a joke right as something spooky is happening takes the tension right out of the scene. What is worst the demonic voice they gave to the little boy who was possessed just sounds like a Cockney person who has smoked too much and is almost unintentionally funny coming out of him.

I think Crowe is a serviceable lead, however, I do think the films decision to have him speak partly in English and partly in Italian was confusing, as it would have made more sense to go one way or the other with it, as it stands it seems clashing.

Overall, a watchable possession film that doesn’t do anything new but delivers mostly in the way you would want it to.

3/5

Pros.

It is serviceable

It has a few good scares

Crowe anchors the film well

Cons.

It is unintentionally hilarious at times

It forces in awkward jokes that derail the tension

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The Hard Life And Times Of Clownie Volume 1: The Struggles After Clown College

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Clownie finally gets a feature.

So this film is the full adaption of the Hey Bro short I reviewed a while back and I have to say in a lot of ways this film is a step up. Everything that was enjoyable about the original short is here in spades and the film does justify its need for a longer runtime.

I liked that we got to explore the characters a lot more and learn more about their lives. I think the added character work added a nice new dimension to the world of the film and made me care more about these characters. As I was watching I found myself quite often relating to the characters I think they certainly feel more realised here and that is very much a good thing.

The one area in which I would criticise this film, however, is in terms of its pacing. I thought that the second act was overly long and at times felt like it was padding for time. This is a shame as the first and third act both move along at a nice place and are very enjoyable, it is just the slow down in the middle that hampers my enjoyment of the feature more broadly.

Overall, a good expansion, but the slow second act really bogs it down.

4/5

Pros.

The character work

Expanding the world

It justifies its existence

Relatable

Cons.

A slow second act

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Polite Society: Martial Arts And Uncomfortable Relationships

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A wannbe stuntwoman, played by Priya Kansara, becomes convinced her sister, played by Ritu Arya, is marrying a baddie.

In a sense I really wanted to connect with this film as I often do try to give British films the benefit of the doubt, but in all honesty this film just didn’t jive with me.

I think there are certainly some entertaining parts to it, and the fight scenes are impressive for what they are but I do think in the end the issues outweigh the positives.

The main issue I had with this film is that tonally it is two separate films. The first half is much more of a comedy about a girl struggling to accept that her sister is moving on with her life and then the second half is full of vaguely incestuous clones and kidnapping scenes, they don’t align at any point and at others feels very much at odds with one another.

To make matters worse the lead character isn’t likeable. Throughout most of the film the character comes off as incredibly possessive towards her sister, and thinks that it is okay for her to interfere and mess with her life doing worse and worse things to try and get the outcome she wants. The film justifies this in the end by having her being proven right to be so involved in her sister’s life, but throughout the film she just comes across as a busy body.

Moreover, I don’t know if it is just how I red it but there is a subtext to this film that is quite depressing and sad. In a sense the second half of the film could be read as a metaphor for mental illness and the sister fully falling into delusion, as the film likes to remind us she has an overactive imagination. In this sense the ending then develops something of an uncanny and almost unsettling quality but perhaps that was just how I made sense of the two drastically different tones within the film.

Overall, the tone of this film was all wrong and the main character was unlikeable.

2.5/5

Pros.

The fight scenes were good

It was nice to see a British film in the multiplex

It has a charm to it.

Cons.

It has pacing issues

It is tonally a mess

The main character has a God complex

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Scream VI: A Triggering Opening Sequence

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Woodsboro gang move to New York.

To get right into spoiler territory, I don’t know how I feel about no one, of importance, dying in this instalment. On the one hand I wouldn’t have wanted to see Gale, played by Courtney Cox, meet her end in a film without Sidney, played by Neve Campbell, but on the other the amount of stab wounds the cast take and survive beggars belief. You really have to suspend your disbelief with this one as in some scenes the characters are stabbed repeatedly and given injuries that would surely kill them, only to be fine enough for a kiss at the end of the film.

Adding to my issues with the film I don’t know if this instalment did enough to justify its existence. As I just don’t think having the family come to avenge the death of one of the killers from the previous film is enough of a reason to make a sequel, especially as it has been done by the franchise before. I did like however that they are continuing with the question of whether Sam, played by Melissa Barrera, will become a slasher just like her dad. I think that is a really interesting angle that I would like the next film to focus on.

In terms of performances the central cast were all fairly strong. I do think that Jenna Ortega is starting to upstage Barrera a little bit and may end up fronting the franchise a little ways down the line. Speaking off I did feel weird watching a Scream film without Neve Campbell, it didn’t feel right and I hope she comes back for the inevitable sequel.

Overall, an enjoyable sequel for the most part, but one that doesn’t completely justify its own existence.

4/5

Pros.

The meta commentary

The opening kill with Samara Weaving

Teasing out Sam as a future killer

It feels like the most violent

Cons.

The lack of deaths feels entirely unrealistic

It doesn’t justify its own existence

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Pillow Party Massacre: A Sublime Slasher Parody

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens reunite at a remote getaway a short while after their friend killed someone because of a prank that went wrong.

No this film won’t win any medals for originality but when viewed from a brain switched off place it is surprisingly entertaining. I must state before I get into it that I have an affinity towards the slasher genre and can watch the same thing over and over again within it, as such I am more forgiving.

What I liked about this film is that it bothered to set up a mystery and build the world. When the film does reveal the killer at the end it won’t be who you are expecting it to be as the film does quite a good job of misdirecting you. The more I think of this misdirection the more I wonder whether it was a direct homage or parody of the first Friday the 13^th, small spoilers there, if so bravo.

I also liked that this film had its female characters have personalities and have conversations rather than just strip off and be hacked up. When comparing this to the film from last month Kill Her Goats the two films do a similar thing yet the focus of KHG seems to just be getting the women out of their clothes for a shower scene rather than trying to set up a world or mystery as this film does.

Overall, to me this film felt like a warm mug of soup, familiar, comforting and at times a terrific parody.

3/5

Pros.

The characters and the world

The kills and the gore, even if the effects are bad

It feels like a knowing parody of other genre films in a good way

Cons.

It is overly familiar

The characters make dumb decisions

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