V.F.W: Beer,Brawn And Blasting

V.F.W is an action horror film directed by Joe Begos. The plot revolves around a group of ex-soldiers lead by Fred (Stephen Lang), who must defend their V.F.W outpost against a deranged drug lord and this army of junkie minions; fighting to see the light of a new day.

In terms of being an action movie, this is on par with Guns Akimbo for being my favourite of the year so far. This is very reminiscent of pulpy, grindhouse esque B movies of old, there is a focus on over the top gore and a lot of punk wardrobe choices. I’ve heard this film compared to the Expendables, but really that couldn’t be more of a disservice to the film. V.F.W actually has characters you care about and heart and soul, rather than just being a nostalgia vehicle to give old action stars the chance to meet up once again and get a nice fat paycheck.

Moreover, Stephen Lang is a far better action hero here, that Stallone was in the Expendables, you buy him as this solider that never really came home, never really wanted to; he lives to fight. We see this juxtaposed by the fact that he is getting old and his body won’t really let him fight, like it did when he was a young man, anymore and you can see that on screen: just in the little details. I think the paradigm of a solider who likes being a solider, but who physically can’t be anymore, is a neat angle to explore with this character and it helps Fred to feel well rounded and nuanced, rather than just another action hero.

The gore in this film is also brutally bloody in the best way, right from the off we see a man’s head explode from a shot gun blast and that sets the tone for what is to follow. I think good gore can really add to a horror film, good gore is usually comic and deliberately over the top: not the kind of gore you get out of something like Hostel where it get uncomfortable to watch after a while, but that is my own personal taste.

Overall, this is ridiculous, over the top, bloody fun and I can’t recommend it enough if that is your kind of thing. Lang is great and the film is a thrill ride from start to finish. A must watch!

Pros.

Stephen Lang.

A better version of the Expendables.

The over the top gore.

The dumb fun of it all.

Characters you genuinely want to see survive until the end.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed By Luke

Kong Skull Island: The King Above All

Kong: Skull Island is a monster movie directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts; it is a reboot of the King Kong franchise. The plot follows a group of scientist and soldiers as they travel to the uncharted Skull Island and find creatures beyond imagination, including the legendary Ape King Kong, who is the last of his species.

Though it may not be the most popular opinion, I believe of all the Monsterverse films thus far this is by far the best. My absolute favourite thing about this film is its soundtrack, it is absolute 70’s perfection, Jefferson Airplane, Credence Clear Water Revival and Black Sabbath all grace the soundtrack of this film and it is magnificent.

The style of this film is further compliment to the soundtrack, this is a very stylised film, this is clear in multiple ways and I believe unlike something like the Babysitter that is overly stylised, this is just the right amount as such it gives the film a fantastic sense of identity and uniqueness.

Crucially what this film does that makes it better than the Godzilla side of the Monsterverse, is it maintains the balance between human action and monster action; neither one takes focus from the other. The human characters are on screen enough to be developed, but they aren’t focused on to the point where we don’t get to spent time with Kong. We get plenty of time with the great ape himself, his origin is slightly different from what we have seen in the past, but it is still well done.

My two favourite human characters in any of the Monsterverse films are in this film. Firstly, we have Brie Larson’s character of Mason, who is an anti-Vietnam war photographer, she is a very interesting character and I like how they almost give her the human, monster relationship with Kong that we have seen in previous films, but then subvert it at the last minute. The other character I really like is Hank (played by John C. Riley), he is a pilot that has been stuck on Skull Island since World War 2, so for 28 years. Riley in this is fantastic, perhaps the best I have ever seen him, he has great comedic moments, but he also has great emotional dramatic scenes. The scene at the end of the film when he returns home after he has been away for so long is tear inducing, it is almost impossible to not cry when this scene comes on.

Overall, this film manages to achieve something that few other monster movies do, it strikes a harmony between the human and non-human characters, making all of its character interesting. The style and the soundtrack of this film also helps it to be exceptional, I hope that Godzilla Vs. Kong can be as good as this!

Pros.

The soundtrack.

The style.

How it handles Kong.

How it handles its human characters.

Cons.

The strange skull creatures.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Prevenge: The Mother-Child Bond

Prevenge is a British comedy slasher film directed by Alice Lowe. The plot revolves around a grieving pregnant woman, who is commanded to kill by her unborn baby; all of the people she kills are related to the very recent death of her husband and the child’s father in one way or another. The film has a lot to say about motherhood and the act of being pregnant, using the over the top premise to take a deeper look at the actual notion of having a child and the mother child-bond.

In many ways this film could be a spiritual sequel to Ben Wheatly’s film, also staring Alice Lowe, Sightseers, the two films are very similar in a lot of ways, including having a very similar sensibility around murder and death, treating it as a darkly comic thing. I think the two films would make for a very interesting double feature.

That said let’s get into the review.

Did I enjoy this film? That is a hard question to answer, there is a lot going on and a lot to unpack, so it might not be as simple as that. I think this film raises a lot of interesting questions about how we as a society view pregnant women and how far we should go for our children; as this film takes that to an extreme. Furthermore, the ending of the film when Ruth (Alice Lowe) realises that her unborn child wasn’t the thing telling her to kill all along, and that it was her, is very interesting because it leaves us with the question of how is she going to deal with that?

The scares are also very good in this film, it is certainly more of a dark comedy than a horror, but whenever we have a moment where ‘the child’ is talking to her’, it makes the hairs stand-up on the back of your neck. We also get a lot of good gore from some of the kills, so gore fans will find something to enjoy.

The issue with this film for me, is that fact that it is very slow, there are a lot of scenes that feel longer than she should be. Said scenes are probably going for a meditative feeling, but instead they just feel a little pretentious. What’s more Prevenge is a very oppressive film to watch, it is bleak very bleak; there are moments of dark comedy mixed in, but these are few and far between; for the most part it is very hard to watch.

Overall, this is a very interesting and unique film, but it is undeniably niche, this certainly isn’t going to everyone’s taste.

Pros.

Unique.

Novel approach.

Good scares and gore.

Cons.

It’s hard to watch.

It does feel a bit pretentious at times.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Pet Sematary: Sometimes Dead Is Better.

Pet Sematary is a supernatural horror film directed by Kevin Kolsch; based on the Stephen King novel of the same name. The film revolves around a family that finds a graveyard behind their house, that allows things to come back from the dead, this could be animals, or it could be people, but when they come back, they come back changed.

First things first, I just need to say I had very high expectations when I went in to see this film, as I love the work of Stephen King, as well as the 1980 version of this film. As a result of that I was disappointed with it and thought that while the new version did have a few cool scenes, it wasn’t a patch on the original film.

For me the issues began with the casting of Jason Clarke as Louis Reed. I don’t like Clarke and I certainly don’t rate him as an actor. I don’t know if I just haven’t seen him in the right role, but it seems like whenever he turns up in a film, that film turns out to be bad; the list of films that prove this point is long, but some choice examples are Winchester, Terminator Genesis and Serenity, however he is the best of a bad bunch.

This film has John Lithgow in it, he plays the neighbour that tells Louis about the pet semetary in the first place, Lithgow does the best with what little he has, but he is truly wasted in this film and his best scene is a scene that involves a child slashing the tendons in the base of his leg. What a waste.

The horror of this film is also not as well done as the 80’s version. Yes, that film was campy and a bit silly, but the scenes of the sister who is bed-bound in the attic, were genuinely frightening and left an impact. However, those same scenes in the 2019 version lose a lot of there impact thanks to an over-reliance on jump scares. I have talked at length about the plague that is jump scares, so I won’t go on about it here.

Finally, and perhaps worst of all we have the ending, which is significantly different from the book and the 1980 film, this time we see that the whole family has become evil thanks to the semetary and is going to kill baby Gage and that is how the film ends, so effectively the bad guys win. This could be done in such a way where it felt natural and earned, it is not inherently a bad thing. However, the way this ending is presented to us, leaves us feeling unsatisfied and let down; which then leaves a sour taste in the mouth when thinking about this film.

Overall, yet another remake that never needed to be made, disappointing, dumb and downright boring at times, don’t waste your money, watch it on TV, or stream it on Netflix.

Pros.

John Lithgow tries.

The classic song is back, even if it is a cover.

Cons.

Stop casting Jason Clarke!

The jump scares.

The lack of anything new or interesting.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Godzilla, King Of The Monsters: A Weak And Ineffective King!

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters is a monster movie directed by Michael Dougherty. The film belongs to Legendry’s Monsterverse and follows on from the 2014 Godzilla film. The plot of the film revolves around humanities discovery of ‘the Titans’ and then their efforts to wake them up. Once they have been woken up, surprisingly they wreak havoc and then it is up to Godzilla to get them all in line.

I have been putting off this review for a long time, this is a film that a lot of people have strong feelings about, some love it, some don’t. The film didn’t do very well when it came out, which has affected the Monsterverse as a whole, but it has a dedicated cult following. For me, personally I liked Kong Skull Island, but both the Godzilla films have left me cold. Here is why.

My issue with the first film was that it didn’t have enough Godzilla in it, so when it looked as though the sequel was going to have more monsters fighting and less of the horrible human characters, I was excited, and yes there is far more monsters fighting, but now maybe it is too much. There is only so many times you can see a huge CGI creature hit another giant behemoth.

The human characters are dumb and bland, there is some strange eco-terrorism sub plot that is going on, that never really gets explained and their goals make no sense either. The twist that Vera Farmiga character has been working for them all along, isn’t hugely surprising, but you don’t care because she is boring and underdeveloped. Millie Bobbie Brown is only in this film because of Stranger Things she is probably the best of the human characters, but that’s not hard, a piece of wood could be better than all the human characters in this film.

The writing in this film is dumb, so, so dumb, unapologetically so, but that is half the fun. There is one bit in the film where they drop an oxygen bomb on Godzilla, which… how does that even work? If you’re one of those people that like things like The Fast and The Furious, were nothing makes sense and it is just pure spectacle then you might like this film.

Don’t even get me started on Kyle Chandler, who much like Annabelle Wallis can’t act. Seeing Chandler’s name on a casting sheet is a huge red flag for me, as he has never been good in anything.

Overall, this film is a disappointment as it managed to screw up both the human characters and the monsters, while also lacking the heart that made Skull Island so good.

Pros.

Millie Bobbie Brown is okay.

The first half an hour is entertaining.

Cons.

After that it becomes repetitive.

The human characters are terrible.

The plot is ridiculous.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Guns Akimbo: A New Kind Of Internet Celebrity

Guns Akimbo is an action comedy film directed by Jason Lei Howden. The plot follows Miles (Daniel Radcliffe), a man who awakes to find pistols bolted to his hands after an online argument split over into the real world, he is then forced to compete in an internet age style, to the death gladiator match with raving badass Nix (Samara Weaving).

I didn’t really have any expectations when I went in to watch this, I knew it was going to be wacky, as the name and premise alone inform you of that, but I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised with how much I ended up enjoying this film.

The writing was very sharp and tight, it uses every line well, being both informative and funny. Some of the dialogue was clearly trying to lampoon modern internet culture, I believe this was done well and it made me chuckle a few times. Rhys Darby plays a homeless man who helps out Miles in his time of need and I have to say, he might be the scene stealer of the film; Darby is hilarious here.

I like Samara Weaving as an action hero, I think she plays badass very well, for the most part she is your standard quippy anti-hero, but there is an added dimension to her that sets some emotional stakes. I think if Weaving carriers on picking projects like these she could easily become the 2020 version of what Sigourney Weaver was in the 1980’s, a badass female action star.

Daniel Radcliffe is also fantastic here, his career path of picking odd projects to prove himself as an actor as well as to steer away from his Harry Potter image is in full effect here. Radcliffe’s character is relatable as well as a believable action star, I like where the film leaves his character and I hope we get to see a sequel so we can see more of him. I also liked the on-screen chemistry between the two leads, I thought they had great banter together and I would love to see them in more films together in the future.

Overall, a very enjoyable experience from start to finish, smarter than most action films and funnier than most comedies. Samara Weaving and Rhys Darby steal the show, but everything in this film is firing with both barrels. My best film of 2020 so far, A Must See.

Pros.

Weaving the action star.

The writing.

The references to our modern-day culture.

Rhys Darby.

Nice and punchy no time wasted.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

David Brent, Life On The Road: The Sadness Behind The Music.

David Brent, Life On The Road is a mockumentary comedy film directed by Ricky Gervais. The plot of the film shows David Brent (Ricky Gervais), after The Office, he is now older and more unhappy. The power dynamic in Brent’s life has changed and he is no longer the boss, rather he is abused victim of the office, as such he seeks out a new direction in life; becoming a successful professional singer.

This is very much a follow up David Brent film, rather than a sequel to The Office, other than Brent none of the characters from the series return. As such this film explores his character in far more detail, we learn the mental health impact The Office had on Brent and see that he has had a breakdown since it. As Gervais has said when talking about this film, Life On The Road ‘this film peels back the layers of Brent’s character’, this is true as we see him in a whole new light.

The sympathy we felt for Brent in The Office is double here, as we see that he is actually a very unstable individual and that he is incredibly lonely and he just wants a friend, some one who likes him for who he is. The final song of the film, when one of Brent’s band members buys him a snow machine, is touching and heart warming as we can feel just how much it means to him.

The cringe comedy that Brent’s previous outing was known for, is here in force, but there is also a sadness to it, as I suppose like Brent himself, we learn there is more to it then we first realised. The majority of the comedy comes in the form of Brent’s songs; which are surprisingly good. Forgone Conclusion as a band have more than a few hits, “Native American” might be my personal favourite, all of the songs in this film are both catchy and funny.

The ending of this film does provide a nice sort of ending for Brent as a character, it ties him up in a way that feels satisfying and gives a lot of closure to his character. I hope this is the end for him.

Overall, this is much more thoughtful, in depth look at Brent as a character, it has some great songs and some great laughs, if you love The Office you will love this.

Pros.

A nice ending for Brent.

Great songs.

A good amount of heart.

A lot of laughs.

Cons.

It’s not entirely necessary

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Invisible Man: The Dark Universe Reborn.

The Invisible Man is a science fiction horror film directed by Leigh Whannell. The plot follows Cecilia (Elizabeth Moss), a woman who escapes her abusive boyfriend, only for him to then kill himself, or appear to, and then continue stalking her only now he is invisible. Of course, people think that Cecilia is crazy, so she must set out on a mission to prove she is sane, as well as to finish off her abusive ex-boyfriend once and for all.

I thought this was a great film. After the rocky start Universal’s Dark Universe had all hope seemed to be lost, but then this came out. The reason why I think this film is so good and should be the template for future releases of Universal’s classic monster films, is because it is a horror film first. It is not an action film with horror elements, it is not a film hell bent of trying to force in an extended universe, it is simply a good horror film.

To that end, I found the premise to be quite unsettling, being stalked by someone you can’t see, and the film really does explore that in an interesting way. Furthermore, there were moments in the film where I thought for sure they would stuff in a cheap jump scare, but they didn’t and for that I tip my hat to Leigh Whannell. The horror elements in this film are strong, there were multiple times in the film that made me jump, which is something I rarely do these days as I have become use to watching horror films.

Moreover, I think the way the film handles domestic abuse is both in good taste and shocking at the same time, the domestic abuse is the heart of this film, therein lies the horror, The Invisible Man shines a light on this subject and shows how horrific it is, how a person can be isolated and tortured by the person they love the most. What’s more, Elizabeth Moss’s performance highlights the horror of domestic abuse as her character is unable to go outside at the start of the film as she is consumed by fear that her partner will be outside coming for her. For me this may be a career best for Moss.

Overall, this film far exceeded by expectations, as a stand-alone horror film it works very well, as a piece of a larger narrative equally so, other than being a little slow at times, this is a damn near perfect film.

Pros.

The horror.

Not using jump scares.

It actually made me jump.

Elizabeth Moss.

Con.

It is a bit slow at times, it could have done with a tighter edit.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Halloween (2018): Back In The Game

Halloween (2018) is a horror slasher film directed by David Gordon Green. This film acts as a soft reboot of the franchise, ignoring everything after the first John Carpenter Halloween film. The plot once again sees everyone’s favourite maniac breakout of the asylum and return to Haddonfield, to carry on his killing spree that he began 40 years ago. However, a face from his past has been waiting for him, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis). Laurie is now battle hardened and suffering from PTSD, her whole life has been dedicated to finishing Michael off when he inevitably returns.

This film is a return to form for the franchise, by ignoring all of the terrible sequels, and doing away with the convoluted backstory for Michael Myers, the film returns to its root and is all the scarier for it. The idea that Strode has not been able to move on after what happened to her all those years ago and has now become obsessed, not only makes sense, but is also a really interesting concept.

Despite now being an old man, in the film’s timeline, Michael Myers has some genuinely great scares, he is still the killing machine we all remember him to be. When he drops the handful of teeth over the toilet stall wall, that stayed with me long after I saw it. My one issue with how this film handles Michael Myers is the fake out when it looks like someone else is going to take over the mantle; lucky they get their face stood on by the man himself.

The whole film builds towards the showdown between Myers and Strode and it is safe to say that the final showdown is fantastically well done. It is tense and suspenseful, and you can tell that both parties are giving it their all and that this is the defining moment in their lives. It is nice to see three generations of Strode women fighting back again this man that has been terrorising their family for almost half a century. The final shot of the film seeing Michael Myers trapped in a house that is burning down and it finally looks as though this is the end for him, but of course with this being a slasher film it can’t be, and two more films have been announced.

Overall, after all the harm that had been done to the franchise over the years, it is nice to see a Halloween film that actually cares about the characters that John Carpenter created back in 1978. I loved the Rob Zombie films, but this is definitely a return to form for the series. I can’t wait for Halloween Kills, but at the same time I would like to see the series end.

Pros.

A great return to form.

Michael Myers is still scary.

The PTSD angle is a cool way to take it.

The final showdown is great.

Cons.

It should be the end.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Curse Of La Llorona: Behold The Horror!

The Curse Of La Llorona is a supernatural horror film directed by Michael Chaves and is the 6^th instalment in the Conjuring universe, though that fact is not marketed, for what reason you decide. The plot revolves around social worker Anna (Linda Cardellini), who after unwittingly letting a supernatural entity kill two kids, now has to face down the same entity, La Llorona (Marisol Ramirez), when her own kids become targets.

I am just going to say this once, the only reason this is a part of the Conjuring universe is because Warner Brothers know that without that title this film would flop, hard. What makes it even worse is the fact that its tie to said universe is so small and flimsy, most people won’t even recognise it. The way this film ties into the shared universe is by having the same actor who played a priest in the first Annabelle film return to his role for a blink and you will miss it cameo.

I understand that the folk tale of La Llorona is something that means a lot to people and that it was THE fear of their childhood, but that just makes this film sadder. Rather than give us a good film that explores La Llorona, the myth, the person, we have this forgettable bland excuse for a film. La Llorona could be swapped for any of the Conjuring universe baddies and the results would be the same. La Llorona in this film could easily be the nun from other entries, as they don’t bother to make her feel unique and different.

Moreover, the characters in this film are as dull and cliché filled as they can possibly be, these are characters that you have seen thousands of times before in this kind of film there is nothing to them and that makes them incredibly hard to care for. There were moments in this film when I was hoping La Llorona would kill one of them just to liven things up, but no. It is all just predictable and safe.

Don’t even get me started on the jump scares in this film, they are the most blatant and obvious ones I have ever seem in a film. Never has it been truer than in the case of this film where the creative team are putting in forced jump scares because there is no actually horror in their horror film. This is so un-scary it doesn’t deserve to be called a horror film, it could be shown in schools and even then, little kids wouldn’t find it scary, just tediously, aggressively, horrifically bad.

Pros.

The new priest guy is kind of cool.

Cons.

Oh, wait no they ruined him.

La Llorona herself is dull and repetitive.

It shows everything wrong with jump scares.

It is not in any way, in any shape or form a horror film.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke