Bring Them Down: Protect The Sheep Of Ireland

Two shepherding families go to war.

Before you get too excited no this is not an action film, rather a drama/thriller film. It works well in that regard, though it’s not one for everyone’s taste, there is unrelenting bleakness to the film not unlike something Shane Meadows might produce and you have to be prepared for that.

The escalating tension between the two families is well done and the built does feel delivered upon. However, the choice to go backwards in time and reframe things makes the film not only harder to follow but also slows it down, it does this to lead to an ending wherein the main character, played by Christopher Abbott, feels bad about what he has done, which in my mind does not work at all. The ending stunts the film as Abbott has been attacked and harassed since the start of the film he is within his rights to go after the family that killed his sheep and his dog.

Also there is a weird plot line at the beginning of the film wherein Abbott’s character got so angry he drove dangerously and killed his mother, and other than being brought up a few times this doesn’t really tie into anything in a meaningful way, maybe it was done to show he was a psychopath but then the film didn’t really go down that road with it.

Overall, a film with some promise but that is derailed by odd writing choices and a bad ending.

2.5/5

Pros.

The tension

The build

It is interesting

Cons.

The ending

The time stuff

The pacing

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The Girl With The Needle: The Horrors Of War

Summary

A harrowing journey through Danish history.

This film is not for the faint of heart, and I would advise if you want to watch this film to have something happy ready to watch after as its pretty bleak. The film follows a young woman, Vic Carmen Sonne, as she deals with an unwanted pregnancy in the immediate aftermath of the First World War. During this she comes into the employ of one of Denmark’s most notorious killers.

There is a gothic spectacle to this film that makes it a must see film in terms of truly feeling like you are going back in time. The oppressive world and the grim struggle of things feels just as overwhelming for you watching it as it does for the character as she lives it.

Overall, the film is harrowing but ultimately engrossing and capturing.

4/5

Pros.

The style

How engrossing it is

The tension

The atmosphere and the world created

Cons.

It is bleak

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Saturday Night: Hollywood Pats Itself On The Back Again

Summary

Hollywood gives itself a pat on the back.

I don’t know about you, and maybe it’s because I am not American, but I’m getting quite sick and tired of films about Hollywood about filmmaking, and about classic actors or ensembles. This film manages to be quite a few of those at the same time, an ignoble triumph.

Perhaps I would have gotten more out of this if I had ever watched an episode of Saturday Night Live, however, as I have not it was just an unfunny film about a group of people making a TV show. I questioned at times if this was even supposed to be a comedy film as laughs were had by none, the screening I attended had maybe 20 people in it and I didn’t hear a singular laugh once.

In terms of actors everyone was OK, there were no particular standouts or strong performances, and likewise there were no particularly bad performances. My main emotion whilst watching this film was tedium, the pacing was incredibly off and whenever it felt like the film was going to end it would then continue on for another half an hour, not ideal.

Overall, if you’re American and grew up watching the show you may get something out of it, however, if you are either not American or did not grow up watching it then you’ll get a subpar comedy film and a wasted afternoon

1/5

Pros.

There is one good joke towards the end however if is not intended as a joke but it is funny

Cons.

It feels like self-aggrandisement

It is painfully unfunny

It is badly paced

None of the performances are all that good

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The Presence: A New Take On The Haunted House Film

Summary

Stephen Soderbergh tries to do something new with the haunted house film.

So would I call this film a horror? No

Was it marketed as a horror film? Yes

It is essentially a drama film with supernatural aspects, it is a drama film in so much as it is about a family that is fraying at the scenes and that interpersonal drama takes up a lot of the film’s bandwidth. The supernatural element comes from the fact that their house is haunted, but the ghost does not behave like a typical ghost or poltergeist in these sort of films there is something different about it.

One thing I will say is that the film has a lot of scenes of drugging drinks, which makes for uncomfortable viewing at times. There is a particular scene with a large amount of sexual threat that will stay with you after the credits roll, and is probably the most unpleasant and in a sense scariest thing about the film.

The twist at the end of the film is fairly predictable but does feel satisfying when it is revealed and it does recontextualise a lot of the film in an interesting way that encourages a rewatch.

Overall, a smart if at times a little uncomfortable kind of film.

4/5

Pros

It is smart

It a decent pay off

It is well paced

It focuses on atmosphere

Cons.

The sexual assault theme feels a bit much at times

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Companion: You Can Guess The Ending

Summary

A loser, Jack Quaid, builds a sex robot, Sophie Thatcher, who then goes on to kill him.

I don’t know about you but I’m starting to get bored of social horror, social horror is a subgenre of horror that comments on social issues film such as Get Out are examples of it. Herein the commentary is on relationships and toxic behaviour, as one could assume from simply looking at the poster, yes it really is not deep, the message of the film is do not treat your girlfriend like a slave otherwise she might kill you, insightful. In terms of social horror and writing, this film is incredibly predictable and has nothing at all new to say, it is all recycled platitudes dumbed down.

Sophie Thatcher is good, she has a few funny moments, but is giving the same performance you have seen from her in other projects. I assume she is aiming to be a scream queens for the 2020s. Jack Quaid is similarly one note, you can tell from the beginning even without watching any of the trailers or marketing material that he is bad news, he has strong incel vibes, but then again that is what the film is going for. The fact they did not try and give his character any depth beyond that again speaks volumes to the quality of the writing for this film. Rupert Friend does get to have some fun doing a silly and over the top Russian accent, this is comically bad, it remains to be seen whether it was intentional or unintentionally so.

Overall, an interesting concept is ruined by poor writing that does not think beyond basic archetypes.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

There are some funny moments unintentional and intentional

It has some good tense scenes

Cons.

The characters are paper thin

It’s message is at best recycled

It is badly paced

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Kinda Pregnant: Motherhood Does Not Mature People

Summary

Amy Schumer shows that even after becoming someone’s mother she still prepared to debase herself and embarrassed them in the desperate hope of being a movie star.

Seeing Netflix make films like this makes me want to cancel my subscription, remember when Netflix used to make good quality programming and not lowest common denominator drek, I sure do.

Schumer is just as unfunny as ever, it is funny to see her play a woman so insecure and pathetic that she has to pretend to be pregnant for attention that is very on brand for her. It gets to a point in the film where you almost start to feel bad for her and go how much lower can she sink.

Most of the comedy if you can call it that is clawing and mean spirited, Schumer thinks that by making a few negative remarks about herself that it absolves all the punching down but it really doesn’t in anyway.

The film drags on for far too long and then ends, allowing you to feel the sweet relief of not having to watch it anymore, which is the greatest gift.

Overall, none of Schumers films are good but this one makes you at least feel somewhat bad for how low she is prepared to go to be seen as relevant.

0.5/5

Pros.

You almost pity Schumer at times

Cons.

It is not funny

It is boring

It is too long

It tries far too hard to be trendy

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Dirty Angles: Who Needs Men?

Summary

The last gasp of the girlboss

So just when you think Hollywood is learning, when mary sues and girlbosses seem to be on the wane you get this.

The film follows a girl’s school that is taken over during the Afghanistan withdrawal and after a failed attempt by Delta Force to retake it, bah men what can they do, the US government decides to send in a team of women, who easily fix the problem.

My issues with this film is that it doesn’t even try to be anything other than a girlboss film, it feels more like it wants to give a lecture on how capable women can be, something we already knew, rather than be serviceable as either a war or action film. It is curious that the film went this road considering who the main demographic is for these sort of films.

Another thing that haunts the girlboss, dare I call it sub-genre, is the fact that it is always skinny frail looking women that these films expect us to believable can take men three times their size in hand to hand combat it is just silly.

Overall, this is the sort of film Hollywood needs to stop making if they want to make money.

1/5

Pros.

You get a few good laughs out of it

Cons.

It is cringe

The acting is terrible

More girlbosses

It is badly paced

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The Damned: An Ode To Those Lost At Sea

Summary

A fishing team based on the coast of Iceland comes into some supernatural trouble.

Whilst the idea of a group of people being hunted down one by one by some supernatural entity is hardly new, this at least tries to add a lick of new paint to it by drawing inspiration from Scandinavian folklore rather than the same old well of monsters.

The twist at the end of the film, is one that I think is fairly played out, I didn’t see it coming, but when it hits it is somewhat of a damp squib, I would say the film would work better without it.

I appreciated that the film gave a lot of attention towards creating an atmosphere rather than just relying on cheap jump scares that become formulaic after a while. Particularly in that regard I found the use of the scenery and location to be effectively used to create a sense of isolation that really scores the entire film.

Overall, a January gem that should not be missed.

4/5

Pros.

It has a great atmosphere

The location is used to great effect

Interesting mythology

It is smart

Cons.

The twist

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Bridget Jones Mad About The Boy: Later In Life Dating

Summary

Bridget Jones, Renee Zellweger, is back.

I think this is probably the film of the year so far. In many ways this is a near perfect film, the only thing that I didn’t like was the creepy sort of age play relationship sub plot- I didn’t like it as it felt icky plus you can guarantee that if such a storyline was done with a man and a younger women these days people would be up in arms.

That aside I thought this film was just the right amount of old notes brought back to play homage to previous film and also new ideas. It was fun to see the family dynamic of seeing Bridget with kids, it was nice to see the dysfunctional single mother be played without the judgement, she cared about her kids deeply and was there for them whilst also having her own thing. Take note Hollywood that is how single mothers should be.

I thought how they handled the passing of Colin Firth’s character was both beautiful and sad, there was a real melancholy there, but the film handled it in a mature and grown up way. I think the final time we see the ghost of Firth’s character at the school play is a fantastic moment and one in which it is hard not to shed a tear.

Overall, a wonderful send off for the franchise.

4.5/5

Pros.

It is sweet

It gives the characters a good send off

It merges the old and the new well

It is well paced

It is funny

Cons.

The icky relationship

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The Cleaner: Daisy Ridley Somehow Manages To Out Girlboss Her Performance As Rey

Summary

Rey from Star Wars is given the short hair maam treatment and is turned into girlboss personified.

So, Daisy Ridley seemingly only has a career as Kathleen Kennedy wants to keep her relevant, you have to assume she is getting these roles as folks behind the scenes are pulling strings for her as it certainly isn’t her acting chops.

This film wants you to suspend your disbelief to such a degree that you are left wondering if you are having a breakdown. The idea that stick thin Ridley can take down men multiple times bigger than her is frankly laughable, even all the training the world can’t make that maths check out.

Plot wise it is a die hard clone, minus the fun. It Ridley is able to be charming or crack a joke she does not show it here. Maybe if she was playing more against type, and being less of the her-o girl boss she often leans towards this would have been better.

Overall, an incredibly forgettable action film with a Ridley performance so bad it would be an understament to call it wooden.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

Ridley is horribly miscast

You don’t believe her in this role

It lacks any kind of charm

The girlboss stuff is pretty egregious

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