The Witches (2020): Suitable For Kids?

The Witches (2020) is a family fantasy horror film directed by Robert Zemeckis. The plot follows a young boy (Jahzir Kadeem Bruno), who discovers that Witches are very real after he and his Grandmother (Octavia Spenser), become targets.

This is not like the other film version in a number of ways, there is a clear effort to set this one apart from the other adaption as well as the book version, there is a lot of added material that is not in the book or other film. While not all of this new stuff works, I am glad they added new scenes and plot lines as it allows this film to feel like it stands on its own rather than just being another remake.

There are also a lot of things in this film that I question whether they are appropriate for a children’s film. There are mentions to things like suicide, which is used as a sort of joke, as well as the arms scene which I would specifically draw light to. The arms scene is actually quite scary, there is something about the uncanny valley nature of the scene that adds to it and makes it scarier, it looks like something out of the recent IT films only better done.

I didn’t like the ending, I thought having them all stay mice doesn’t really work and pushes the film into a ridiculous territory that makes it end on more of a jokey note, which cheapens the entire experience.

Octavia Spenser is terrific and makes the film as well.

Pros.

Spenser

The new additions

The arms scenes/ some genuine scares

Cons.

Not really suitable for kids

The ending is laughably bad

The supporting cast, namely Tucci is given nothing to do.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Prophecy: Viggo Mortensen Is Under Your Bed

The Prophecy is a fantasy thriller film directed by Gregory Widen. The plot sees angel of death Gabriel (Christopher Walken), seek to find an evil soul and use it to wipe out mankind. It is set to a backdrop of a centuries long angelic civil war.

This is pulpy good fun, will it win awards no, but it was solidly entertaining for an hour and a half and it made me want to check out its sequels, stay tuned for reviews of them. I enjoyed the deeply 90s aesthetic of the film it reminded me a bit of films like The Crow. I thought the world building was incredibly on point, they create a huge world with a lot going on, but don’t spend big parts of the film spouting exposition which is appreciated.

The performances are really a conversation about two actors Christopher Walken and Viggo Mortensen. So, Walken played the menacing angle of death well, he was a very believable badass and managed to seem worse than the devil himself. Speaking of, Mortensen’s Lucifer is only in the film briefly, but he is a scene stealer while he is there, he is so manic and unhinged it is truly chilling; the performance has become one of my all-time favourite Devil performances.

Overall, if you want a schlocky good time with a surprisingly deep world and a few great performances then give this a try.

Pros

Walken

Mortensen

The deep lore

Not overcomplicating things and being a lot of fun

Cons.

It is quite dated now

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Casper: Addams Family Shared Universe?

Casper is a fantasy family comedy film directed by Brad Silberling, based on the Harvey Comics character of the same name. The plot sees single father James Harvey (Bill Pullman), and his daughter Kat (Christina Ricci), move into an old mansion only to find that it is full on ghosts, some more friendly than others.

This film feels like a good accompaniment to Ricci’s Addams Family films, a natural triple bill if ever you were so inclined. Stylistically, again quite similar.

I enjoyed the friendship between Casper (Malachi Pearson), and Kat I found it to be sweet and deeply endearing, likewise when they shared that dance together at the end of the film, I found that to be a cheer worthy moment. I think the biggest asset of this film is its hopeful tone, it really makes it a joy to watch.

As far as child actors go, I think Ricci gives a good performance, you buy her as the sad little girl. Bill Pullman is very believable as the failing single father who is in mourning but is trying to keep things together for his daughter’s sake, I enjoyed his arc and thought his reunion with his dead wife was a sweet moment.

Overall, if you don’t mind the dated effects, which to me added to the charm, this is quite a sweet endearing seasonal watch.

Pros.

Pullman

The emotional character works

The friendship between Casper and Kat

Cons.

It has some pacing issues

The non-Casper ghosts are overplayed

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Tell Tale Heart: Look What You Made Me Do

The Tell-Tale Heart is a horror short film directed by McClain Lindquist. The film serves as a modern reimagining of the classic Edgar Allen Poe tale of the same name. The plot sees a man (Sonny Grimsley), be driven to madness and murder and we the audience are left to put the pieces together.

Sonny Grimsley might be my favourite performance of the year so far, or at least in my top 5. This narrator character perfectly capture the sense of the original tale and is so wonderfully disconcerting throughout, you never want to turn your back on him. There is an elements of mania to the performance that really heightens it into being something special.

I really enjoyed the practical effects in this film, I thought they had a great retro feel to them and the horror as a whole reminded me of classic 80’s pieces; I will admit I am a sucker for a good practical effect.

I thought the film itself was quite scary and threatening and had many moments in its short runtime that sent a chill down my spine. I would easily recommend this to any horror fan. You don’t need to be familiar with the Poe original to enjoy this either which is helpful for newcomers.

Overall, an incredibly strong horror short that is reminiscent of early Sam Raimi or Joe Dante which is high praise indeed.

Pros.

Sonny Grimsley

The scares

Being friendly to newcomers as well as a good adaption of the Poe original

The effects

Nicely paced and perfectly edited

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Little: Proud To Be Generic

Little is a fantasy comedy film directed by Tina Gordon. The plot sees mean boss Jordan (Regina Hall), get turned into a kid again to teach her some kind of lesson. As a result of this Jordan has to go back to school and face her demons once again, gaining some life lessons in the process.

So, if that feels familiar to you, it is because it is. There have been so many films that have either had this premise or some slight variant on it, and frankly it is getting tiring. I won’t even get into the plot hole of why or how she is turned into a kid, because the film doesn’t care about that, but I will say the lesson’s this film preaches are the most obvious, lazy, samey ones that a million other films have promoted better in the past.

That is the crux of the issue with this film, it is not trying to be ‘good’, or even original it is just trying to repackage the same old same old and claim that is new. All of the characters feel like cliches, and the level of development they get is so minuscule that it might be none. The film wastes most of its cast and has some only be on screen briefly for the purpose of an ill time gag and then just abandons them.

Regina Hall is mildly funny whenever she is onscreen, but this film reduces her to short bursts at the start and end, clearly they couldn’t afford her rate.

Overall, this is only watchable as easy mindless dross if there really isn’t anything else on. It is nothing new and it seems almost proud of that.

Pros.

It is watchable

Hall

Cons.

It is proud of being a retread

It is not funny

The child actor is bad

The premise is incredibly generic

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Early Man: The Origins Of Man United

Early Man is a British stop motion animated film directed by Nick Park. The plot follows a group of stone age people as they are challenged by a bronze age civilisation to a game of football to decide the fate of their valley home.

I will admit I have a bit of a love hate relationship with Aardman and their animations, I really didn’t like Chicken Run and I enjoyed Wallace and Gromit when I was young, but I have not thought about those films in years. So, going into this I had low expectations that were lowered even further when I heard the mixed reviews, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with this film.

I enjoyed the story quite a bit and found that the time period leant itself quite well to Aardman’s signature animation style. I thought the characters all had a great deal of rootability, and you really wanted to see them win the game. This film manages to capture the plucky underdog spirit to a tee.

The voice cast didn’t add much to proceedings as I feel like anyone could have played those characters, the voice actors themselves were not memorable, which could be a good or bad thing depending on your viewpoint. Out of the cast I thought Maisie Williams shone the most, her character of Goona was fun and memorable and Williams managed to pull of an accent for the full run time somewhat convincing; much more convincingly then her GOT co-star Sophie Turner in the last X-Men film, however.

Overall, a fun film that really made me consider Aardman that bit more, maybe it has converted me to their cause- time will tell.

Pros.

Fun and accessible

The setting leant itself well to stop motion

Maisie Williams

Capturing the underdog spirit

Cons.

The voice cast weren’t very strong

It felt a bit bloated

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Robin Hood: Step Up 2 The Streets, How To Demystify And Ruin A Beloved Folk Character

Robin Hood is an action film directed by Otto Bathurst. The plot serves as a retelling of the classic tale, now imagining Robin (Taron Egerton), as a jaded crusader who has been betrayed by his country and stripped off his lands after he was falsely pronounced dead. Together with his dear friend Little John (Jamie Fox), he decides to take the fight to the powers at be, for the people.

You could be forgiven for thinking that this film and King Arthur Legend Of The Sword (review on site), are in the same universe they share a lot of similarities, including plot and colour pallet. Much like that film Robin Hood fails to establish itself in any meaningful way or decide what it wants to be, instead it cobbles bad ideas together leading to a hard to watch end project.

Egerton is trying his best here and he is a very believable action star, he carries the film in the physicality department, and you don’t doubt his Robin’s fighting abilities. However, he struggles in the dramatic, acting, part of the role. His character feels very two dimensional and is not very easy to warm too, yes he is a badass, and?

The wider supporting cast are forgettable, the only two that come close to leaving an impression is Foxx as Little John, though he is basically just a glorified sidekick, and Ben Mendelsohn as the infamous Sheriff of Nottingham. Much like Egerton Mendelsohn is good but this talents are widely wasted and used incorrectly.

Overall, this film fails as a franchise starter and as a Robin Hood film. The Russel Crowe epic is a much better telling of the same tale.

Pros.

Egerton

Mendelsohn

Cons.

The new take doesn’t add anything

The side characters are boring and forgettable

It is very predicatable

The ending is pure sequel bait

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Croods: Not The Nicolas Cage We Needed, Nor The One We Deserved

The Croods is an animated fantasy family film directed by Kirk DeMicco and Chris Sanders. The plot follows a family as their way of life is threatened and they come to realise that the only way to survive is to adapt. Also it is set during the prehistoric era.

The animation models on this one are bad, there is something a bit too uncanny about them that is off putting, not to mention the fact that Eep (Emma Stone), is designed in quite a sexual way, which as we are never quite sure her age is deeply troubling.

I feel like I have seen this film hundreds of times before, yes maybe not set in cave men times, but a very similar story arc. I understand that Hollywood is a creatively bankrupt place but come on. All of the twists and turns are painfully obvious, and everything is sign posted from the start of the film. Oh the father Grug (Nicolas Cage), doesn’t like change, I wonder what intricate arc they will give him, oh he just learns to embrace change. The growth.

The voice cast are all very eh, I don’t think any of them are really trying. It seems to be a for the money venture through and through, which is upsetting as the idea of a Nicolas Cage fronted animated film was something that really did intrigue me.

Overall, boring, bland and been there done that, the animation is creepy and off putting as well, so give this one a miss.

Pros.

It is watchable

Cons.

There is nothing new about it

The voice cast are wasted

The plot is blindingly obvious

The animation is awful and weirdly sexual

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Emperor’s New Groove: A Hidden Gem Of Disney

The Emperors New Groove is an animated family film directed by Mark Dindal. The plot sees Emperor Kuzco (David Spade), be turned into a llama in order for villains to try and usurp this throne. The mighty Emperor must team up with a village peasant (John Goodman), in order to reclaim his birth right.

So despite this film coming out long after the golden years of Disney Animation, I think that this is one of the best Disney films possibly ever, but certainly of the early 2000’s.

The comedy and the charm are what really make this for me. I am a big David Spade fan and usually find him quite amusing, but I enjoyed how this film’s humour played off his personality as was often quite self-deprecating. I thought the choices of narration that breaks the fourth wall was also quite an inspired idea, one that makes the whole film feel more engaging.

I enjoyed the very distinct feel of this film and how because of the unique colour pallet and style it felt different from all the other Disney animated films. A film having a strong personality is always a good thing.

The supporting voice cast also do a good job, with Goodman and veteran Patrick Warburton being the standouts. There characters both feels very well realised, which makes them far more compelling.

Overall, an often-overlooked Disney gem.

Pros.

The unique feel and style

David Spade for the most part

The voice cast as a whole

The comedy

It is very watchable

Cons.

Spade does get a bit annoying at times

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Remove The Dragon Remove The Heart, A Superhero Story

Mulan is a fantasy action film directed by Niki Caro. The plot sees young woman Mulan (Yifei Liu), defy Chinese society by riding off to take her fathers place in battle, thereby becoming a solider and later a legend.

So before I get into this I want to again address my bias. The lead actor Yifei Liu defended the police’s brutal response to the Hong Kong protests, which is a sickening fact, but one I nevertheless tried to remove from by mind while watching so I could stay objective.

On the scale of Disney live action remakes this felt comfortably along side the Lion King. The reason for that is though there are a few changes, that are mostly insignificant and hurt the film, it still feels very familiar to the original animated version.

By removing Mushu and the songs from this film, you get a very joyless experience, that tries to go for realism and sticking to the source folk tale, until it gets bored of that and puts in magic and shape shifters just for the hell of it.

Furthermore, the film totally undermines Mulan’s personal journey by having her already be quite competent right from the off. In the original animated version, Mulan was terrible when she started off and got gradually better over the course of the film, here she starts off already quite a good fighter and then becomes a superhero by the end. I am not kidding with the superhero thing, when she becomes herself, she is cutting down groups of men twice her size in seconds and hitting people with arrows who are incredibly far away with ease; it is deeply unbelievable and laughable when you consider the realism angle.

There is also quite a bit of China pandering throughout, where they will randomly say how great the country is and how honourable and proud its ways are. I found this to be as off putting as bad product placement, but I am not hugely surprised Disney did it as they’re clearly aiming this one more at China than anywhere else.

I found Liu to be a likeable enough lead, the jokes they kept in from the original still worked for a laugh and she had enough charisma to keep the film afloat.

Moreover, the villains were improved from the original, we get a new secondary antagonist introduced, who seems very interesting, but the film does very little with her. The reason I say they’re more improved this time around is because they’re far more imposing and threatening.

In that same vein the action is also well done and is easily the standout point of the film, the battle scenes are well done and well-choreographed, with a clear martial arts inspiration. They were the saving grace of the film.

Overall, a deeply needless film that fails at being realistic and ends up as a pandering joyless experience with some cool fight scenes.

Pros.

Yifei Liu is a likeable enough lead

The villains feel more scary

The action is well executed

Cons.

The failure at realism

It is joyless and hard to get through

The pandering

Ruining Mulan’s arc

2/5

Reviewed by Luke