Robin Hood: Step Up 2 The Streets, How To Demystify And Ruin A Beloved Folk Character

Robin Hood is an action film directed by Otto Bathurst. The plot serves as a retelling of the classic tale, now imagining Robin (Taron Egerton), as a jaded crusader who has been betrayed by his country and stripped off his lands after he was falsely pronounced dead. Together with his dear friend Little John (Jamie Fox), he decides to take the fight to the powers at be, for the people.

You could be forgiven for thinking that this film and King Arthur Legend Of The Sword (review on site), are in the same universe they share a lot of similarities, including plot and colour pallet. Much like that film Robin Hood fails to establish itself in any meaningful way or decide what it wants to be, instead it cobbles bad ideas together leading to a hard to watch end project.

Egerton is trying his best here and he is a very believable action star, he carries the film in the physicality department, and you don’t doubt his Robin’s fighting abilities. However, he struggles in the dramatic, acting, part of the role. His character feels very two dimensional and is not very easy to warm too, yes he is a badass, and?

The wider supporting cast are forgettable, the only two that come close to leaving an impression is Foxx as Little John, though he is basically just a glorified sidekick, and Ben Mendelsohn as the infamous Sheriff of Nottingham. Much like Egerton Mendelsohn is good but this talents are widely wasted and used incorrectly.

Overall, this film fails as a franchise starter and as a Robin Hood film. The Russel Crowe epic is a much better telling of the same tale.

Pros.

Egerton

Mendelsohn

Cons.

The new take doesn’t add anything

The side characters are boring and forgettable

It is very predicatable

The ending is pure sequel bait

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Croods: Not The Nicolas Cage We Needed, Nor The One We Deserved

The Croods is an animated fantasy family film directed by Kirk DeMicco and Chris Sanders. The plot follows a family as their way of life is threatened and they come to realise that the only way to survive is to adapt. Also it is set during the prehistoric era.

The animation models on this one are bad, there is something a bit too uncanny about them that is off putting, not to mention the fact that Eep (Emma Stone), is designed in quite a sexual way, which as we are never quite sure her age is deeply troubling.

I feel like I have seen this film hundreds of times before, yes maybe not set in cave men times, but a very similar story arc. I understand that Hollywood is a creatively bankrupt place but come on. All of the twists and turns are painfully obvious, and everything is sign posted from the start of the film. Oh the father Grug (Nicolas Cage), doesn’t like change, I wonder what intricate arc they will give him, oh he just learns to embrace change. The growth.

The voice cast are all very eh, I don’t think any of them are really trying. It seems to be a for the money venture through and through, which is upsetting as the idea of a Nicolas Cage fronted animated film was something that really did intrigue me.

Overall, boring, bland and been there done that, the animation is creepy and off putting as well, so give this one a miss.

Pros.

It is watchable

Cons.

There is nothing new about it

The voice cast are wasted

The plot is blindingly obvious

The animation is awful and weirdly sexual

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Emperor’s New Groove: A Hidden Gem Of Disney

The Emperors New Groove is an animated family film directed by Mark Dindal. The plot sees Emperor Kuzco (David Spade), be turned into a llama in order for villains to try and usurp this throne. The mighty Emperor must team up with a village peasant (John Goodman), in order to reclaim his birth right.

So despite this film coming out long after the golden years of Disney Animation, I think that this is one of the best Disney films possibly ever, but certainly of the early 2000’s.

The comedy and the charm are what really make this for me. I am a big David Spade fan and usually find him quite amusing, but I enjoyed how this film’s humour played off his personality as was often quite self-deprecating. I thought the choices of narration that breaks the fourth wall was also quite an inspired idea, one that makes the whole film feel more engaging.

I enjoyed the very distinct feel of this film and how because of the unique colour pallet and style it felt different from all the other Disney animated films. A film having a strong personality is always a good thing.

The supporting voice cast also do a good job, with Goodman and veteran Patrick Warburton being the standouts. There characters both feels very well realised, which makes them far more compelling.

Overall, an often-overlooked Disney gem.

Pros.

The unique feel and style

David Spade for the most part

The voice cast as a whole

The comedy

It is very watchable

Cons.

Spade does get a bit annoying at times

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Remove The Dragon Remove The Heart, A Superhero Story

Mulan is a fantasy action film directed by Niki Caro. The plot sees young woman Mulan (Yifei Liu), defy Chinese society by riding off to take her fathers place in battle, thereby becoming a solider and later a legend.

So before I get into this I want to again address my bias. The lead actor Yifei Liu defended the police’s brutal response to the Hong Kong protests, which is a sickening fact, but one I nevertheless tried to remove from by mind while watching so I could stay objective.

On the scale of Disney live action remakes this felt comfortably along side the Lion King. The reason for that is though there are a few changes, that are mostly insignificant and hurt the film, it still feels very familiar to the original animated version.

By removing Mushu and the songs from this film, you get a very joyless experience, that tries to go for realism and sticking to the source folk tale, until it gets bored of that and puts in magic and shape shifters just for the hell of it.

Furthermore, the film totally undermines Mulan’s personal journey by having her already be quite competent right from the off. In the original animated version, Mulan was terrible when she started off and got gradually better over the course of the film, here she starts off already quite a good fighter and then becomes a superhero by the end. I am not kidding with the superhero thing, when she becomes herself, she is cutting down groups of men twice her size in seconds and hitting people with arrows who are incredibly far away with ease; it is deeply unbelievable and laughable when you consider the realism angle.

There is also quite a bit of China pandering throughout, where they will randomly say how great the country is and how honourable and proud its ways are. I found this to be as off putting as bad product placement, but I am not hugely surprised Disney did it as they’re clearly aiming this one more at China than anywhere else.

I found Liu to be a likeable enough lead, the jokes they kept in from the original still worked for a laugh and she had enough charisma to keep the film afloat.

Moreover, the villains were improved from the original, we get a new secondary antagonist introduced, who seems very interesting, but the film does very little with her. The reason I say they’re more improved this time around is because they’re far more imposing and threatening.

In that same vein the action is also well done and is easily the standout point of the film, the battle scenes are well done and well-choreographed, with a clear martial arts inspiration. They were the saving grace of the film.

Overall, a deeply needless film that fails at being realistic and ends up as a pandering joyless experience with some cool fight scenes.

Pros.

Yifei Liu is a likeable enough lead

The villains feel more scary

The action is well executed

Cons.

The failure at realism

It is joyless and hard to get through

The pandering

Ruining Mulan’s arc

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sucker Punch: Rape As A Plot Device

Sucker Punch is an action adventure film directed by Zack Snyder. The plot follows young woman Babydoll (Emily Browning), who finds herself accused of a crime she didn’t commit by her abusive stepfather. She is committed to an institution and escapes into a world of fantasy, where she fights Nazis and does various other stuff.

I will hand it to Snyder this was ambitious. The imagination on display, however sick and twisted it might be, is staggering. Sadly it doesn’t save this from being a disturbing mess of a film.

The various fantasises that Babydoll and co go to feel oddly random, there is not much rhyme or reason as to why these are their fantasises, which comes across as poor set up stemming from bad writing.

Secondly, this film is a teen action adventure so why is there a constant, and I mean from the off, rape threat throughout? This isn’t an interpretation this is what the film uses to drive its narrative, there are several scenes where it is implied without question and a few more where it is conveyed in a more subtle way. I am not going to lie to you this is deeply off putting and feels exploitative, it is hard to finish.

I feel like in Snyder’s head this was going to be a big empowering female epic, but it goes right the other way and feels creepy and icky to watch.

The only pro I will give it is that Oscar Issac is more menacing in this than I think he has ever been before; he gives one hell of a performance.

Pros

Oscar Issac

The imagination

Cons.

Using rape as a plot device

It feels exploitative

It makes no sense

It is depressing in the extreme

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

End Of Days: Arnie Died For Our Sins

End Of Days is a fantasy action film directed by Peter Hyams. The plot sees muscles for hire Jericho (Arnold Schwarzenegger), become wrapped up trying to stop Armageddon. Jericho must protect a young girl, Christine (Robin Tunney), from turning into the reincarnated wife of Satan (Gabriel Byrne). His mission is to stop Satan consummating the union before the stroke of midnight of new years eve thereby brining about the end times and save Christine from her diabolical destiny.

So there is something almost therapeutic about watching Arnie beat the crap out of the Devil. This film does not really require much attention to watch and is a great passive viewing experience. It is dumb and the more you think about it the dumber it gets, but that is part of the fun here.

The film manages to be genuinely quite tense and scary when it wants to be. It uses Lucifer’s powers to get effect creating some chilling scenes. I also enjoyed the powerless feeling Schwarzenegger’s character had for most of the movie, it is interesting to see him play a character who can’t just punch or explode his problems away; though he does in the end.

Byrne is a lot of fun as the Prince Of Darkness, he plays the character with a lot of wicked menace but is also not afraid to crack a cool one liner every now and again, so that this film is not a completely dower affair. I also enjoyed watching his character interact with Schwarzenegger and I thought the two had great on-screen chemistry.

Overall, a great action horror thriller, there aren’t many of these types of films that work, but this one does to great effect.

Pros.

Byrne as the Devil

Schwarzenegger’s powerlessness

The tension and the horror

A few cool one liners

Cons.

The ending undoes the helplessness and Arnie just blows everyone up.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Scooby Doo And The Legend Of The Vampire: Rock On

Scooby Doo And The Legend Of The Vampire is an animated family film directed by Scott Jeralds. The plot follows Scooby (Frank Welker) and the gang as they head to Australia for a music festival, once they get there they find some strange goings on resulting in them coming face to face with a local vampire called the Yowie Yahoo.

So this was another classic from my early 2000’s childhood, I decided to revisit it as the animated Scooby Doo films prove to be great comfort viewing. I have to say I enjoyed it, it held up well. Also unlike Monster of Mexico this film did not rely on cheap stereotypes for characters, and actually had some well written Australian and Aboriginal characters (for a kid’s movie at least).

Though I talk a great deal about the problems with formulas I have to say the Scooby Doo formula works well, you know what you’re going to get and there is some comfort in that. I found the villain, the Yowie Yahoo to be quite interesting and I enjoyed the throughout rock feel of the film, which I thought was boosted incredibly by the return of the Hex Girls from The Witches Ghost.

Overall a fun and entertaining Scooby Doo adventure with interesting new characters and a terrific reunion.

Pros.

An interesting monster

Not using stereotypes

The rock feel of the film

The return of the Hex Girls

Cons.

A tad predictable

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Iron Sky: They’re Back

Iron Sky is a Finnish German-Austrian comic science fiction action film directed by Timo Vuorensola. The plot reveals that the Nazi’s were not defeated in World War 2 rather they fled to a base on the Moon to plan a counterattack. We follow Renate (Julia Dietze) and Klaus (Gotz Otto), two of the Moon Nazi’s who are tasked with going back to Earth to prepare for an impending invasion.

I really enjoy this film; I have been meaning to watch it for a while and finally did, and I have to say it lived up to what I hoped it would be. The film fully executes the comedic nature of its premise, it is not afraid to get silly with it. The sense of humour of the film is quite zany and dark, but I have to say it kept me very entertained.

Easily the best character in the film is James Washington (Christopher Kirby), the model turned astronaut who unwittingly discovers the Nazi’s hidden fortress. He has a lot of the best lines in the film and made me laugh a lot.

This film does something I thought was impossible, it makes spoof movies good again. The spoof as a genre has had some great success, but in recent years it seemed to be dead after a lot of misfires in the early to mid 2000’s. However, this film and its well-done spoof elements prove there is still some life in the genre yet.

Overall, a wonderfully wacky good time, I whole heartedly recommend.

Pros.

Not afraid to get silly

Fully lives up to the premise

Christopher Kirby

The space battle at the end

Cons.

It becomes a little repetitive towards the end and some of the jokes don’t land.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cats: Eye Bleach

Cats is a musical drama film directed by Tom Hopper. The film is a big screen adaption of the famous theatrical musical of the same name.

So, yes I watched this to see if it was as bad as everyone said and yes, I can confirm for you all it is trash. Copies of this film should be burnt and we as a species would be better if we could erase it from our collective memory. Here’s how I got there.

Right from the off, the design and look of the Cats themselves is off putting, they’re too humanoid and also weirdly sexual. I don’t know if Furriers where the secret target demographic for this film, but it is weird, the casts are often shaking what would be their human sexual organs and yeah, its uncomfortable.

Secondly there is no real plot, from the opening moments of the film we are bombarded with songs telling us about what cats are and what their world is, but they don’t really explain anything, and you have no idea what is going on. There is also a song very early on in the film that takes place in a graveyard and I personally found something very disconcerting about this one, like it made me panicky and troubled and I can’t really tell you why.

I understand that it is a musical, but the constant songs get to be a bit much, there are other musicals that have actual lines of dialogue in-between their songs, but this is not one of those films. The acting is blatantly not there, most of the actors seem to either be there for an easy pay day or because they were forced into it (at least that is how they appear when they are on-screen as they clearly don’t want to be there).

Overall, this is as bad if not worse than you have heard.

Pros.

It is bizarre.

Cons.

The furriness of it

The design of the Cats themselves

The lack of a basic plot

The repetitive non-sensical songs

The terrible performances.

0/5

Reviewed by Luke

Rise Of The Guardians: Forgotten Dreamworks

Rise Of The Guardians is an animated film directed by Peter Ramsey. The film sees the immortal guardians of children, Santa Clause (Alec Baldwin), The Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), The Tooth Fairy (Isla Fisher), and Jack Frost (Chris Pine), team up to defeat the evil entity know as Pitch (Jude Law).

So for the most part this was very generic family fantasy fare, the plot went the way you would think it would with an unlikely outcast hero rising to the occasion to save his friends and the world from evil. Same old same old. In many ways I don’t need to tell you what happens in this film because without seeing it you will be able to predict it.

The characters are likeable enough and the voice actors are giving it a valiant try to inject some personality into otherwise quite vacant character husks. However, the script certainly does the film no favours and often feels like it is caught between two different ideas; mainly in regard to tone.

The one positive I will say for this film, is the animation itself is great. It is very distinct and has it owns style that separates it from the rest of the DreamWorks line-up. I especially enjoyed how they showed the nightmare powers of Pitch on-screen, I thought it was very visually interesting to look at and that it also had an impressive scale.

Overall, very standard fare, you will have seen many other animated films just like this. The cool animation and strong voice acting won’t be able to change that fact. Very much a meh.

Pros.

The voice acting

The animation style

Cons.

Incredibly predictable

The characters feel very one dimensional

The tone cannot stay consistent

2/5

Reviewed by Luke