Krampus: Wait that’s not Santa Claus

‘Krampus’ is a dark fantasy horror comedy film based on the infamous character from Bavarian and, Germanic folklore. The plot follows a family at Christmas that have lost the real meaning of the season and, when Max, (Emjay Anthony), says ‘he hates Christmas and his family’ and, tears up his letter to Santa Claus; they evoke Krampus’ wrath.

This film is from Micheal Dougherty the director behind Trick or, Treat, as such it features creative creatures and, monster; some of which are incredibly original while others are rather familiar to the horror genre. Krampus himself is menacing straddling the line between monstrous and campy at times; his look isn’t 100 per cent accurate to how he is depicted in most of the folklore surrounding him, but he is still scary despite this.

The scares are all pretty good, however ‘Krampus’ does lean on the humour over the scares a lot of the time; this is most definitely more of a comedy film than a horror. The issue with this is that the humour of the film is all pretty weak, it makes you smile a few times, but there are no laugh out loud moments; some of the jokes are even painful.

The acting is on the better side of average, most of the actors are serviceable if not memorable; these include our leading boy Emjay Antony. Adam Scott of Park and Recreation fame in this film as Max’s father Tom, he has some good moments and, a few strong jokes, the only ones of the film, however, he isn’t given much to do and, it feels like a waste of his considerable talents.

Toni Collette is also in this film this is before her game-changing role in Hereditary and, she gives a decent performance not a scene-stealer, but she does a good job with what she has to work with. Allison Tolman of Fargo fame is also in this, but just like everyone else in the cast doesn’t blow you away with her performance.

It is nice to see ‘Krampus’ remind people that Christmas can be scary, it carries the torch on from things like Gremlins, check out my review, and Black Christmas. These films will always serve as a reminder that horror does have a place at Christmas, also this scary bent helps these films stick out from all the other happy, mushy, Christmas fluff.

Overall this film isn’t my favourite Christmas horror film, but it is nice to see some variety in Christmas films that make it out and, despite the fact it doesn’t change the game it has some genuinely good scares and, is wonderfully unique. Check ‘Krampus’ out if you don’t like traditional Christmas films and, have a desire for something new.

4/5 simply for originality

Reviewed by Luke

Knives Out: It’s All About The Doughnut Hole

Knives Out is a murder mystery film, which positions itself as a fresh take on the WhoDunit genre. The plot follows a family gathering that goes off the rails when the Grandfather is found dead; was it foul play? That is what we need to find out.

Rian Johnson, of The Last Jedi and Lopper fame, writes and directs this film and, he does both well. Johnson’s signature subversion of expectation is in full effect here, however unlike in the Last Jedi where it feels out of place and almost deliberately antagonistic, in Knives Out Johnson uses this technique to enrich and enhance the mystery to great effect.

Nothing is straight forward in this film, which makes it a good mystery film, the trailers paint a very different film to the one you get. Furthermore, throughout the film, you will think the story is going one way only to have it veer off drastically in another direction. Most of the times this works really well, keeping you guessing, bringing more and more tension; however, some of these twists seem a little far fetched and seem like just an effort pad out the plot, which doesn’t help pacing.

The wider cast is not as involved as the trailer suggests them to be, with Knives Out instead really focusing on Ana de Armas’ Martha, Daniel Craig’s Benoit Blanc and to an extent Chris Evan’s as the Grandson Ransom. The rest of the cast each get their moment to shine, but other than that all have very little screen time. Knives Out is extensively a film about Martha, a character who is forced to go through a lot and do a lot, the film explores whether a change in financial standing can change a person, or if they will still be the same good person.

The master detective Blanc is Craig’s finest performance to date, he fully loses himself in the role, elevating it to an unforeseeable level. Craig goes fully manic towards the end of the film and, it is one of the best scenes I’ve seen all year; when you see it you will know which scene I mean.

Evans’ doesn’t have the biggest part, and the only reason I bring him up is that this is his first performance outside of the MCU in recent years and, it does very little for me; this does not make me think that Evans’ has any real acting talent, as his role could be played by anyone.

My only strong negative of the film is that there is a scene where all the characters gather together and discuss politics, this scene serves to show where on the political spectrum each character falls. To me there was no need for this scene as it felt preachy, it took me out of the film and felt like I was having headlines read to me; plus as someone who is not from the USA, I have very little interest or, care in American Political matters and, this scene left a sour taste in my mouth.

Overall 90% of this film is good if it wasn’t for some poorly written weak characters and, some needlessly forced politics, then I would give it full marks, but alas I can’t change what it is.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

3 From Hell: Third Times The Charm.

3 From Hell, is a horror film directed by Rob Zombie; serving as the 3rd instalment in the Firefly Saga, carrying on from the Devils Rejects and House of 1000 Corpses.
The film takes place several years after the ending of Devils Rejects, with Otis, (Bill Moseley), Baby, (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Captain Spaulding, (Sid Haig), on death row. The Firefly family has become something in the wider pop culture of Zombie’s universe, and are revered by some as folk heroes; or, at least wrongly convicted. The meat of the film takes place when Otis is broken out of prison by his half brother the Midnight Wolfman, (Richard Brake), and the two try and find a way to break Baby out so the three of them can carry on their murder spree.

Before we get into this review, I want to say that I feel like people judge Zombies films without even seeing them when people hear it’s a Rob Zombie film, they needlessly prejudge it; most of the time deciding they’re not going to like it. I for one believe that yes Zombies’ filmography is an acquired taste but, if you can get past that you soon realise that there is no other film quite like a Rob Zombie film. Much like his horror contemporary Eli Roth it is impossible to not be aware that you’re watching one of his films.

I believe every gory, blood-soaked moment of 3 From Hell proves this in spades, there is something so pulpy and, grungy about Zombies films; insanity is not only full embraced but, celebrated. These characters evil and, monstrous as they’re, become almost anti-heroes at times and, you find yourself rooting for them; or at least I did.

It was nice to see all of the characters back on screen, and each had a memorable scene or, line; such as during the final showdown when Baby hunts down gunmen with a bow and arrow. There is a part of me that hopes that Zombie decides to leave these characters here and not try to carry on this series as I feel they’re left in a nice, ambiguous place, with the audience left to question what comes next.

The new characters are also a lot of fun with Jeff Daniel Phillips’ Warden being a fun moustache-twirling villain for the film’s first act. Phillips is both zany and insane while also being memorable; this is probably his best turn in a Zombie film to date.

Overall if you like Zombies’ films and, you like the Firefly saga, then you will like this. It is a nice final chapter for the series and, sends the killers off into the unknown at the end; leaving it all down to your imagination. I hope this ends the series as I don’t see where it can go from here, but this is Zombie’s finest film to date so if he has more like this I’m game.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Satanic Panic: The Devil, Demons and Devilishly Good Pizza

Satanic Panic is a horror comedy film, following Sam Craft, (Hayley Griffith), a pizza girl, who makes a call to the wrong house and quickly finds herself the target of a satanic cult- due to her being a virgin.

Satanic Panic has vibes of pulpy grind-house horror, think Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, which is a delight to see as those sort of films are few and far between these days. Couple that with the fact that the film features a lot of horror references and homages to many horror classics, and you get a film that is going to scream, “Watch Me”, to any genre hardcore.

However, if you’re looking for a scare, you might want to look elsewhere as Satanic Panic is definitely more of a comedy than a horror; the last 15 minutes asides. Said final 15 minutes which features demons battling it out is not only cool but, also the film’s scariest section.

The comedy of the film mostly lands, making me smile multiple times as I was watching it. Although, somewhat surprisingly, where the film most shines is in its attempts to be dramatic. This comes when we hear Sam’s backstory and learn she is a cancer survivor, and that she abandoned her friend/ lover on the cancer ward. This scene is surprisingly powerful, far more so than I was expecting from a horror comedy film; the emotional weight of this scene hits you hard and fast taking you by surprise and knocking you off your feet.

The mythology of the film and how it approaches demons and devil worship is also novel and fresh; especially towards the ends when it focuses on the hierarchy of Hell. As a result the film almost demands a sequel so we can see more of this world and these characters.

The characters are also fantastic, Hayley Griffith plays Sam perfectly encapsulating her spirit and, to an extent her innocence. She makes for a solid lead and, one who is easy to root for. Likewise, Rebbeca Romijn’s Danica Ross is superbly evil, relishing every moment she is on screen; either with a fantastic quip or, a memorable scene. Romijn proves here why she is one of the best actresses working today. Though the breakout star of the film and, the one for me who gave by far the best performance is Ruby Modine. Modine plays Judy Ross, Danica’s daughter who is left for dead and, saved by Sam. Judy is capable but, also incredibly damaged and, the friendship she forms with Sam is incredibly endearing; watching her fight the forces of night is something I never knew I needed until now.

If you’re looking for a film that is going to scare you or, creep you out this isn’t it. However, if you’re a diehard fan of the horror genre and, like films that pack heart, laughs and, about 10 minutes of scares then this is for you! One of the most smile-inducing films I’ve seen all year.

4/5
Reviewed by Luke

The Day Shall Come: Behold Your Messiah Is Here

The Day Shall Come is a dark comedy thriller, written and directed by Chris Morris, of Four Lions fame. The plot follows Moses Al Shabaz, (Marchant Davis), as a preacher who hates the way society does things and voices idea of rising against the Government. Throughout the film, we are shown that Moses thinks he is on a divine mission and believes that God is on his side; though everyone else thinks he’s delusional. The events of the film begin when Moses community centre is closed, and his landlord asks for radioactive materials to keep it open. Meanwhile, the FBI is looking for new targets, people they can lock up for terror charges, and they set their sights on Moses thinking him unstable.

The beauty of a Chris Morris script is that even though Moses and his crew do things that would make anyone else the villain in the narrative, like buying guns off Isis, here we see it twisted. Moses and his friends think they’re getting one over on both sides and it’s all one big trick. Because of this, we still root for Moses throughout, because, in his own manic way, he is incredibly likeable.

On the flip side of this Morris criticises the processes of the FBI showing how they would go to any length to arrest someone for terrorism so that they can get a promotion; even literally giving them a nuke. The FBI character we follow is Kendra Glack, (Anna Kendrick), who unlike her superiors starts to see throughout the film just how ridiculous the whole process is.

If you have seen Four Lions or, any of Chris Morris’ other work you know that he likes to cover important real-world topics and draw out the absurdity in them. Taking narratives that would otherwise be very dark and heavy and making surreal comedy gold.

Davis does a fantastic job making Moses likeable and sympathetic despite being a terrible person; we can see his good intentions. He is equally as terrific delivering serious dialogue as he is having a conversation with his horse; that he thinks can talk.

Kendrick, on the other hand, plays the same character she always does, you can picture in your head what I mean, but she is still likeable all the same; if a little bland. A lot of her FBI colleagues outshines her, particularly her boss Andy Mudd, (Denis O’ Hare), who gets all the best lines and steal the last third of the film.

Overall this isn’t a film for everyone. Some may not like its subject matter. Some might not like its breed of comedy. However, if this film appeals to you, then it is a blast of surreal comedy at its finest and the stuff of indie filmmaking legend. You won’t see anything else like this I can guarantee you that.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Little Monsters: Neil Diamond 27 years later and better than ever!

Little Monsters is a Zombie romantic comedy, in a similar vein to something like Life After Beth. The plot of the film revolves around Dave, (Alexander England), who after being dumped by his girlfriend moves in with his sister and her son Felix, (Diesel La Torraca). One day when Dave takes Felix to school, he meets Miss Caroline, (Lupita Nyong’o). He becomes wholly smitten, after this, he agrees to chaperone his nephew’s school trip, to impress Miss Caroline; then zombies show up, and everything gets crazy.

Before I get into my thoughts on the film, I just want to say that I genuinely believe that the Zombie genre is dead, tapped, devoid of creativity. The same story lines and character types are recycled over and over; there is nothing new to say. They should be retired, even if only for a few years, and allowed to rest in peace.

To that extent, Little Monsters is nothing new, the idea of a Zombie Romantic Comedy has been done before, Life After Beth, Warm Bodies even Zombieland has elements of romance in it, so this plot element doesn’t make this film unique. Indeed it is quirky, and by having the child cast be quite involved at times, there is a novelty to it. However, this is just a new coat of paint on a tired, used concept, and there is no getting away from that fact.

The charm of the film comes from Alexander and Nyong’o’s performances. Both are instantly likeable and maintain this throughout, their romance is well done and feels earned, including a very touching rendition of ‘Sweet Caroline’, which may be one of my favourite in film songs of the year. The two actors have chemistry as well and make for a believable couple.

Josh Gad is also in this film he plays a children’s entertainer called Teddy McGiggle/ Nathan Schneider, whereas typically Gad is annoying and brings you out of the film with his over the top performance it works well here. Gad’s character is a depressed alcoholic who hates kids and views having sex with their mums as a way to get back at his child audience. So you can see that the character is going to be the over the top sort. Gad plays him to perfection savouring every second he gets to be on screen; he is most certainly a scene-stealer in this.

My major issue with this film aside from the distinct lack of originality is that the zombies don’t show up until a good 20 minutes into the film; maybe more. Based on the trailers I had seen before viewing this, I thought that Zombies would be a massive part of the film from the beginning, but that isn’t true. The first half an hour shows us how bad Dave’s life is, it drags out his breakup and the fact that he doesn’t try or, care about anything. I understand the film is doing this to show his character transformation later, but it just feels like bad writing; at best padding at worst tediously drawn out.

Overall, the first half-hour is missable, but once the zombies and Josh Gad’s character turn up, the film comes back to life. Little Monsters has very little in it that you haven’t seen before, probably done better, but it has some entertaining performances and an excellent performance of ‘Sweet Caroline’.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Zombieland 2: Sometimes Dead is Better

Zombieland 2, is the belated sequel to the cult classic horror-comedy of 2009. The film, much like the first follows our group of unlikely loveable survivors as they try and stay alive in the zombie apocalypse. Double Tap, a reference to one of Columbus’, (Jessie Eisenberg), rules for surviving Zombieland from the first film, takes place ten years after the end of the original. The plot revolves around Tallahassee, (Woody Harelson), Columbus and Wichita, (Emma Stone), as they try and find Little Rock, (Abigail Breslin) after she departs the group and tries to find herself and a cute guy; so she can have the idyllic family life.

If that message seems odd to you, it’s one of many. This film feels like it was made ten years ago, a lot of the jokes feel dated and in poor taste. I’m not saying every movie has to be PC and can’t say what they want to say; I’m just saying some of the messages in this film are troublesome.

The character of Madison, (Zoey Deutch), encapsulates this precisely, she is a new character to this film, and she first runs into the characters when she meets Tallahassee and Columbus in a mall. She then sleeps with Columbus despite him seemingly loving Wichita, who at this point in the film has run off for a month because the prospect of marriage scared her, but like many of the characters joke in the movie, he moves on really quickly and not only does his undercut the love between him and Wichita, but it also serves to assassinate his character. Which makes the final moments of the film feel cheap and unbelievable.

Furthermore, Madison is the embodiment of everything that is wrong with this sequel; the original main characters almost feel pushed to the side, just to focus on the film’s new characters who are all boring and underdeveloped. In addition to this, most of the new characters are only included to allow these tiresome recurring jokes. An example of this is Madison herself; her main character trait is that she is dumb, a bimbo, you’ll be damned to forget that in this film as there is a joke about her lack of intelligence every five seconds, something this film doesn’t seem to understand is that repetition doesn’t make a joke funny.

What’s more, as you have probably seen in those woeful trailers, there is a prolonged scene in which new survivors show up, who are basically copies of Columbus and Tallahassee and they can’t see it. Isn’t that funny? These characters are only included for that joke, and the film drags it out and drags it out, and it’s just not funny. We could have had more scenes that added to the story of our four main characters but, no we need this ten-minute unfunny joke.

I wish I could say that this was just a sequel that didn’t need to be made, but it is far far worse than that. This film tarnishes the original by making characters do things they wouldn’t do, just to set up a cliched boring narrative. This film spits in the face of the original and looks smug about it. Harrelson is the only person who looks like he wants to be there; he is the one saving grace. Double Tap has a joke about women Suffrage just casually thrown in, and it feels so out of place and out of touch. This film should have either come out ten years ago or, just not at all.

Sometimes dead is better.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Lost Boys: My Favourite Film

This blog post is going to be personal, as the subject is my favourite film; which for those of you who don’t know is the 1987 teen horror film The Lost Boys. I’ve written many times about why I love this film more than any other, but this will be the definitive piece.

For those of you who’ve never seen the film, The Lost Boys revolves around a young family, a mum and two boys who move to the town of Santa Clara to start afresh. Little do they know Santa Clara houses a dark secret, vampires; “all those damn vampires”.

The two boys, Sam (Corey Haim)and Michael (Jason Patrick), become tied up with a group of local teenagers who live by a philosophy of sleep all day, hunt and party all night. Michael tries to resist the vampiric life the boys offer him, but eventually gives in. What then follows is a showdown between the living and the dead, all set while the mum is out on a dinner date.

Therein lies the charm, Lost Boys never takes itself too seriously, it isn’t a “30 Days of Night” or a “Let the Right One In”. It’s an angsty teenage coming of age drama, with vampires and horror mixed in. Part of the charm of this film is the camp.

What’s more, The Lost Boys has career-best performances from the future Jack Bower, Keither Sutherland, as the effortlessly cool and menacing antagonist David, who is easily the best thing about the film. As well as an excellent performance by Corey Feldman, even better than his turn in the other 80s staple “The Goonies”.

There is such a personality and life to this world as well, such a fantastic atmosphere that I believe no other vampire film has been able to capture since. There are two far after sequels that add to the world and carry on the adventure of Feldman’s Edgar Frog, but they never have the same feel or the same magic as the original. Even the theme song of the original film is iconic in horror cinema being instantly recognisable anywhere, though I am partial to the cover Aiden did for the sequels.

The reason I love this film so much is that it was the first horror film I was ever shown when I was a kid, before Alien, before The Shining, before Halloween, there was this. It had this adult feel to it when I first watched as though I was seeing something I wasn’t supposed to be. It scared me and chilled me, but it also began my love affair with the horror genre; that is still going strong today.

So please if you’re going to watch a new horror film this Halloween watch this, yes it might not be the scariest, and yes some of the effects might not hold up, but in so many other ways this film is timeless, a modern masterpiece of campy 80s goodness. I guarantee you’ll love it.

The Cornetto That Saved British Cinema

British Cinema has been around since 1888, British Horror nearly as long. For years Hammer Horror was the driving force in national terror, with the likes of the Christopher Lee starring Dracula films being international classics. However, as they reached the end of the 20th century, their influence began to wain. British Cinema as a whole began to diminish, yet there was still lifeblood in the old industry, and we got British Rave Culture Cinema with the likes of Danny Boyle leading the way.

However, internationally British Cinema and British horror wasn’t what it had been, becoming a series of tired, repetitive cliches. Then came along one man who would be instrumental in raising both aspects of British film to what they had been in the golden years; that man was Edgar Wright.

Wright began out directing the cult British sitcom Spaced, the show that would launch the career of his long-time collaborator, Simon Pegg. From there Wright would go on to head the Cornetto Trilogy, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and The World’s End, three solidly good films.

With Shaun of the Dead, Wright resurrected British Horror and brought it back into the mainstream consciousness. British Horror had endured the end of Hammer and had kept going, but had become far more niche than it used to be; Shaun of the Dead changed all that. What is on its surface a silly film about a group of friends fighting off the Zombie Apocalypse, beneath the surface lay the hidden depths of a broader social commentary. Shaun of The Dead was so beloved domestically that it brought British eyes back to British Horror, and more impressively brought the eyes of the World to Edgar Wright.

The idea of Auteur Cinema is that a director can become so prolific that they begin to influence the very industry itself, their films are instantly recognisably and sell because of the Director name attached rather than the film itself, think Wes Craven or, John Carpenter; for British Cinema Edgar Wright was our Auteur.

Following on from the cult success of Shaun of the Dead, Wright released Hot Fuzz which instead of mocking the Horror genre mocked the Cop Action Film genre, this was even more of a success. One of the reasons at least to me that Wright’s work is so prolific is that he plays off the stereotypes the rest of the World has about Brits, in a way only a Brit could do.

Whatsmore, Wright highlighted to the World some of the best British actors of that generation, introducing us to the likes of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, to name a few. That eye for talent has stayed with him throughout his career and doesn’t look to be going anywhere soon.

To conclude Wright’s importance to Cinema can’t be understated, he has brought the eyes of the British public as well as the World back to British Cinema and has shown what we are capable of. Even know as he has become more of a Hollywood director, he is still an inspiration and shows how British Cinema is still relevant in 2019.

Hustlers: Proof Jennifer Lopez can act!

Hustlers is a 2019 crime thriller film, about a group of strippers that after the 2008 financial crisis decide to start drugging and robbing their clients to make some extra cash; apparently based on real events.

First things first, the film is handled tastefully, others who have reviewed it says it shows life as a stripper accurately, rather than overly glamorising it; which some movies do. At no point did the film become vulgar, or pervy; which is something that this film if done differently, could have been in danger of.

The main plot of the film revolves around Destiny, (Constance Wu), as a new girl in this particular strip club, who needs to make some money to pay for her grandmother’s debts. Enter Ramona, (Jennifer Lopez), a seasoned pro who knows how to make money and get what she wants. What then follows is a dive into the extreme as the girl’s actions become more and more sinister, and Ramona and Destiny become more and more at odds. On the whole, the film’s plot is quite novel as there haven’t been many crime films from the woman’s point of view.

Hustlers is Jennifer Lopez’s movie, as though she isn’t the main character, she is the most interesting and compelling. Lopez gives a hell of a performance and can switch between a caring mother and friend, to someone who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. There has been talk comparing Lopez’s role in this to Matthew McConaughey’s character in Magic Mike, and if this is true than Hustlers might mark the beginning of a renaissance in Lopez’s acting career; she might even win an Oscar.

That is all the positives I can say about the film.

Other than Lopez there are a large amount of other supporting characters, such as Annabelle, (Lili Reinhart of Riverdale fame), all of these characters aren’t fleshed out or, developed beyond one or two memorable traits. In the case of Reinhart her gimmick, and that truly is an apt choice of word, is that she is sick whenever she is stressed and that she has a bad home life, those are the only two things you know about her character; so a developed supporting cast is something you can’t find here.

In my opinion, the main issue with Hustlers is Constance Wu; she is incredibly unlikable and doesn’t work as the main character we are supposed to root for. She is given various traits to make her more sympathetic, but all they seem to do is reinforce just how unlikable she is. I don’t know if she is just upstaged by Jennifer Lopez’s electrifying performance, but to me, Wu was incredibly miscast.

What’s more and it needs to be said, the film doesn’t view men in a good light at all, even one in the third act who is supposed to be sympathetic he is still treated with contempt; that said, though in the context of the film it makes sense why they have this view. At no point does it feel forced in, it makes sense from the character motivations; it just something that needs to be talked about in regards to this film.

Overall the film is worth seeing for Jennifer Lopez’s fantastic performance alone; it is just a shame the rest of the cast can’t live up to her. An average to good crime film.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke