Nobody Two: Sharon Stone Embarrasses Herself

Hutch, Bob Odenkirk, just wants to go on holiday.

So this is an inferior sequel, in many ways this is a step back from the first film. Whilst the idea of a wet work specialist going on holiday could be interesting in a comedy action format, I think the whole idea of the ‘oh no he’s not spending enough time with his family plot line’ is so cliché and stupid.

The action is on point and funny, Odenkirk does a good job making it all look convincing and manages to keep the film together, with some assistance from Christopher Llyod, RZA and Connie Nelson. I enjoyed that this film gave Nelson some spot light particularly at the end, it is nice to see her engage in a bit of blood sport too. The RZA samurai duel is likely going to be a highlight of the film for a lot of people.

The film has Sharon Stone as the big bad leader of a drug cartel, who shows how crazy she is by breaking into dance. This may be one of the worst and most baffling choices I have seen a film make in a long time, the film keeps doing things it thinks makes her look cool and badass, but it is actually cringe.

The more Stone appeared in the film the worse it got.

Overall, a step back from the first film.

2.5/5

Pros.

Nelson, RZA and Llyod

Odenkirk

The action

Cons.

Cliched story telling

Stone

The ending and how easily it wraps up

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Megan Two: Hold Onto Your Vagina Ladies

Summary

Grab onto your vaginas ladies, the quotable line that never gets old and one that sealed the death of Blumhouse.

Honestly, this film had flop written all over it in capital letters, the first film was a meme film and really did not need a sequel, it captured a moment in time and you could not do that twice. The first film was not even very good but at least it had some idea of its identity.

This film is not terrible there are plenty of worse films that you can see right now at your local multiplex, however, the central issue with it is that it does not know what it wants to be. Does it want to be an action film, a comedy, a science fiction film, these are all the things it tries its hand at yet never sticks with.

One thing that is for sure is that this film has long ago abandoned being a horror film, yes there are some gnarly moments but by and large there are no scares, and Meghan is now a full on good guy who is prepared to sacrifice herself, like Christ, to save the day. She even sings comforting songs now. I don’t know who at Blumhouse thought this was a good idea but they probably shouldn’t have a job anymore.

Some of the jokes are funny, and Jermaine Clement is always a welcome presence on-screen, but probably the best moment of the film is where they try and replicate the meme dancing from the first film, with a new dance sequence for Tik Tok. It has that same oh look they are doing the thing vibe you would want whilst they are doing something new.

Overall, a watchable action comedy film.

2.5

Pros.

It has a few funny lines

The dancing

Jermaine Clement

Cons.

It is tonally all over the place

It is not a horror film

It has pacing problems

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Together: Dave Franco And Alison Brie Should Probably Break Up

Summary

A couple learn very obvious lessons about co-dependence. The irony being that both of these lead actors are actually in a relationship in real life and are now playing a couple on screen and well its ironic.

So I will give this film one thing it does have one particularly effective moment, and it takes place in a children’s school toilet cubicle, once you have seen it and thought through the implications of it then you will be scarred for life. However, that is really the only thing I can praise the film for.

The commentary on co-dependent couples which it ends up justifying at the end, is nothing new. In many sense this film reminds me a lot of Night Bitch the Amy Adam’s film from the end of last year, it has an interesting premise but uses it to deliver fairly boilerplate commentary that feels incredibly obvious.

Franco and Brie as a couple in this film really seem ill suited and unlike in other similar films where you are rooting for them to stay together through it all here you desperately think they should be apart.

Overall, not as smart or inventive as it thinks it is.

1.5/5

Pros.

An interesting idea

One harrowing moment

Cons.

Brie and Franco have no chemistry

The commentary is pedestrian

It is boring

The ending feels contrived

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The Naked Gun: OJ Simpson Has Not Been This Relevant In Years

Summary

Liam Neeson proves once and for all that he can do comedy.

When I saw the trailers for this film I was doubtful, comedy doesn’t seem to work in 2025 especially not spoof films. Couple that with the fact that I’m a big fan of the original Naked Gun films, and you can see why I went into this film with incredibly low expectations.

However, I was pleasantly surprised. Not only is this film funny, but it also manages to keep alive a lot of the humour of the original trilogy. Now, I am not going to say that this film is in the same league as those films, but I will say that it had me laughing quite a bit, and I thought the chemistry between Neeson and Pamela Anderson was charming. I think the film really shines when they are on screen together.

I would say that the wider supporting cast is mostly wasted, but then again the Naked Gun films were always mainly focused on the male and female leads and their interactions, with the wider supporting police team being used sparingly.

Overall, the OJ Simpson gag was probably the best in the film.

3.5/5

Pros.

It is funny

Anderson and Neeson have great chemistry

It maintains the comedic styling of the earlier films

The OJ gag is fantastic

Cons.

The supporting cast are wasted

The plot is a little weak

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Hostages: The Scary Power Of Influencers

Summary

A group of people get stuck in a hotel room.

So I watched this one a little while back in my day job, as a film festival programmer, and normally I don’t cross the streams but I thought that enough time had passed that I would write about it here.

So this is quite a funny comedy film about social media news and the corrupting effects of online fame and how quickly mass hysteria can form. In many sense this film works as it is timely however, I would say that it won’t feel dated as that sense of seeing coverage of something online and freaking yourself out is fairly timeless.

The cast are all strong though I would say that Charlotte Ritchie is probably the star of the show, especially as we see her go darker than she has done in past roles, particularly towards the end of the film. There is a moment where she reminds you just a little bit of Jim Jones or one of the classic cult leaders of the last century.

The humour is not hitting with a joke a minute, but does have a number of good jokes and recurring bits over the course of the film.

Overall, a funny British comedy film

4/5

Pros.

It is funny

Ritchie

The characters are likeable

It is timely but also timeless

Cons.

Not all the jokes land

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Novocaine: The Soft Man’s John Wick

Summary

Jack Quaid cannot feel pain.

So this film had some good gross out moments and the action was pretty solid, but it did not do enough to get past its very so so plot. It sorely wants to be a more comedic take on something like John Wick with him going after the bad guys to get his girlfriend, Amber Mindhunter, back. However, they don’t really explore him as a character beyond this.

The side characters and villains are equally as underdeveloped, they fill the role the script needs them to but they are barely beyond one dimensional and struggle to stay in your mind when they go off the screen

Overall, fluff lacking any kind of substance

2/5

Pros.

The action

A few funny moments

Cons.

The plot is very forgettable

The characters are underdeveloped

It has pacing issues

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A Simple Favour Two: Blake Lively Runs Damage Control

Summary

The internet’s favourite bogeywoman Blake Lively, Amber Heard has run off into obscurity and Rachel Zegler is a bit played out, makes her film comeback in what might be the most chillingly telling performance of her career.

For those unaware, in the first film, we were introduced to Emily, Lively, a character who fakes her own death and then tries to blame it on someone else, Kendrick, and who has a child admitted to killing her father along with her sister. Therein lies my half joke half speculative theory, how far does life imitate art? Could it not be that Lively was drawn to the character for her own cold and bitter ways, both seek to incriminate someone else for something they did not do in order to punish them.

Moving off Lively for a moment the question with this film becomes why? Why wait well over 5 years to make this sequel and who was demanding for it to continue. Was it the director who has not had much success in recent years, Lively in an attempt to rehabilitate her image that was soured long before her most recent scandal who’s to say.

I think this film knows it doesn’t really have a purpose and so just repeats a lot of the plot beats from the first film just with a few characters swapped around for good measure.

Overall, this was doomed to cost Amazon money.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is hilariously telling

Cons.

It is unnecessary

It is boring

It is a rehash

Lively

It has pacing issues

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Death Of A Unicorn: Hollywood Sticking It To Themselves?

Summary

A rich father, Paul Rudd, and his daughter, Jenna Ortega, kill a unicorn.

So before watching this film I had heard how it was an eat the rich narrative about the evil ways of the haves and how the have nots can get wrapped up in it. This made me groan as we have seen this before, but then I watched the film and groaned louder.

It is an incredibly on the nose message of these cartoonishly evil rich people who want to defile the corpse of a unicorn in order to cure cancer. Of course they want to sell this cure rather than give it away for free, which makes them then even more evil. Can you get the message yet? One has to ask are they evil or is the system that creates them evil, is the fact that America is one of the few countries in the world without free medical care not the real evil here, but no such nuance is thrown in the bin. The rich are bad and responsible for all the world’s ills. This feels like it was written by a naïve student who really doesn’t get how the world works despite daddy’s credit card funding self-indulgent narcissism in the form of instagramable charity work in deprived countries.

What for me makes this film worse is that it is Hollywood telling us the rich are bad, in the place where the director will be making over a million for the film, the actors will comfortably be making over a million for the film and where even the slightest hint of self-awareness is viewed with disgust.

Anyway once the evil rich people are dead, the Unicorns resurrected Rudd’s character the good working class father who can afford to send their child away to school, ah Hollywood really understanding the working class, and who also dresses in designer clothes. Have you got my point yet?

Overall, the sort of film that slowly and insidiously kills Hollywood.

2/5

Pros.

Unicorns are original villains

Some good kills

Cons.

The eat the rich message

The hypocrisy

The ending

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Get Away: Actors Shouldn’t Try And Write

Summary

Proof of why actors should not take up writing.

So this was a weird one, there were some good moments peppered in here and there, but then the ending just went and destroyed everything. The last act reveal that reveals the truth about the family makes almost everything that had happened up until that point make little to no sense, I understand it is genre, but that doesn’t mean that folks will just happily eat up garbage writing.

Aisling Bea is a ray of sunshine in this film, it is a shame to hear about her views on Gaza and her joining the band wagon to support those that would see the Jewish homeland destroyed but there were are. She manages to have a few funny moments in the film and totally outshines Nick Frost in every scene they share together. However, I would say that Maisie Ayers is the real star here, she has a real screen presence and eats up the scenery whenever she is on screen.

Broadly this film tries to be comedy horror, but can do neither well.

Overall, a waste of time and money.

2/5

Pros.

Aisling Bea

Ayers

Cons.

Frost and the rest of the cast are wasted

The twist

It isn’t all that funny

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Opus: Yet More Black Girls Seeing Through White Men’s Nonsense

Summary

Yet another film about cults.

Why is Hollywood failing you ask? Well one of the many obvious answers to everyone but them is the fact that they repeat things over and over again until they grind an idea, theme, or even genre of film into the dirt. Enter cults. I understand the popularity of true crime, and as such executives think that films about cults even fictional ones will sell, and whilst that may have been right a few years ago, it is played out now.

Moreover, the on the nose messaging of a cult run by a white man, John Malkovich, with a mostly white power structure being foiled by an opinionated black woman, Ayo Edebiri, is incredibly cringe. This film goes what if Get Out was even more on the nose and we didn’t even try and hide the fact that the white people were in a cult. Yes you have a few non white characters also under the spell of the cult, to try and avoid points like these, but the fact the person leading it was white, the power structure was mainly white and it was a black girl resisting it, the message was clear as day. I have no issue with a well done message in my films, but when it comes to ham-fistedness I draw a line.

Overall, cinema tickets cost a lot of money, you have seen this before if you have ever watched either a film about cults, or a social horror film before.

1.5 /5

Pros.

It has some nice cinematography at times

It is short

Cons

The message is smacking you in the face with its obviousness

It is a rehash of better films

It has pacing issues

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